- This topic has 534 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 12 hours, 33 minutes ago by
.
-
Posts
-
That’s a pretty good addition to the scene! I don’t think that deviated from your story’s voice at all.
You’ll see. Then you will understand why other readers are mad at him. It wasn’t pretty.
Hehe, okay.
#ProtectAdolinKholin
Good. I might still check with my sister to see what she thinks, but if you both like it, then I think I might go swap the ending.
@ellette-giselle @stephie @keilah-h @theducktator @loopylin @theshadow @whalekeeper
Next chapter! I’ts been a while since I’ve done two chapters in one week, but I got excited by this one and put off some school. So here you go!
This is the chapter where my book will be redeemed in the eyes of Ellette, Ducktactor, and Stephie. I hope you’re all happy.
Chapter the 26th – The Distracted
(Not quite happy with the title for the chapter. Does anyone have any better ideas?)
YEEEESSSS!!!!!
STRIPE HAS BEEN HUGGED!!!!
*does a happy dance*
"Io non ho bisogno di denaro.
Ho bisogno di sentimenti."Yippy! Stripe was HUGGED!!!!
AWWWWW! it was soooooo cute!!!!!! Now you have to draw a picture of it!!!
Aside from Stripe being hugged, I really enjoyed the chapter.I’m glad you brought the crow back in. I was wondering how long it would be before you tied that part of the plot back into the story.
Also, one question………. why wouldn’t Alan fight to kill?
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
YEEEESSSS!!!!!
STRIPE HAS BEEN HUGGED!!!!
*does a happy dance* – Stephie
Yippy! Stripe was HUGGED!!!! – Ellette
*Bows*
AWWWWW! it was soooooo cute!!!!!! Now you have to draw a picture of it!!!
Maybe. This is a question I will ask at the end, but so far, what would the top scenes that you would like to see illustrations for be?
Aside from Stripe being hugged, I really enjoyed the chapter.I’m glad you brought the crow back in. I was wondering how long it would be before you tied that part of the plot back into the story.
I haven’t been entirely sure how to fit it in all the time. Especially since many of its scenes are just it watching and Alan being a little creeped out by it. This was one time I could do a little more.
Also, one question………. why wouldn’t Alan fight to kill?
Because I don’t believe it is right for him to do so. Alan may not be perfect yet, but now that he’s one of The Faithful, killing is a line I don’t want him to cross again, especially in a chapter I want to have a more positive tone.
Also, he has only just come off of repenting from his attempt to kill Rour. He’s being cautious not to fall into that again, so is holding back.
As for the actual plot of everything, I really like what you did with the crow there. Ties in nicely. I’m curious as to what the king’s doing. Is he trying to help Alan? It may be that because he was interested in Alan’s success, he ordered the arrests of the Faithful in order to get rid of one of the wizard’s obstacles. But now, will he turn back? Or will he get kind of mad at the whole Alan-is-saved thing?
Hmm. Intriguing.
I like what you did with Eric for chapter the 25th. It’s effective for your purposes, and believable.
I find that you’ve found a good balance between comedy and seriousness. Just tossing that out there.
Good job!
"Io non ho bisogno di denaro.
Ho bisogno di sentimenti."Maybe. This is a question I will ask at the end, but so far, what would the top scenes that you would like to see illustrations for be?
Ooo, I haven’t thought of this really.
Okay. well, the Stripe one of course. That would be super funny/cute, especially with his ears flat. lol.
Maybe one of Martha and Alan talking. I would like to see Martha in an actual scene.
i’ll have to think more on this.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
As for the actual plot of everything, I really like what you did with the crow there. Ties in nicely. I’m curious as to what the king’s doing. Is he trying to help Alan? It may be that because he was interested in Alan’s success, he ordered the arrests of the Faithful in order to get rid of one of the wizard’s obstacles. But now, will he turn back? Or will he get kind of mad at the whole Alan-is-saved thing?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm…
I like what you did with Eric for chapter the 25th. It’s effective for your purposes, and believable.
Okay. Thank you!
I find that you’ve found a good balance between comedy and seriousness. Just tossing that out there.
I like to have some humour to keep things from being too dark and serious.
Thank you again for the feedback!
Okay. well, the Stripe one of course. That would be super funny/cute, especially with his ears flat. lol.
Maybe one of Martha and Alan talking. I would like to see Martha in an actual scene.
i’ll have to think more on this.
Do you mean the scene where Alan is about to head out with the Humlers and Oliver to find his dad?
Okay. Thank you for the suggestions. This will probably be easier to answer after I have completed the book.
i think so. He’s in the barn talking to martha
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Yes!!! Stripe got hugged!!!! I’m glad the crow showed up again. I’d almost forgotten about them.
It’s destination was the capital, Pryde.
That should be Its, without the apostrophe.
Tempus adest gratiae
Hoc quod optabamus,
Carmina laetitiae
Devote reddamus!Thank you for the typo fix!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.