Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost
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August 15, 2024 at 11:23 am #184507
But then that makes right-handers day ALL THE OTHER days of the year!!! 😀
Perhaps, but that is less special.
Ok, I’m done giving un-asked for ideas.
Sorry.
Not sure why you are apologizing here. Your ideas are welcome.
and ha I didn’t even notice that with Alan and Oliver in the beginning.
I am kind of glad you didn’t because this is an indicator that the scene does not feel like a cheese rip-off of The Princess Bride
August 15, 2024 at 11:28 am #184508Not sure why you are apologizing here. Your ideas are welcome.
Maybe the fact that you are the first person to say that to me has something to do with it…… I normally get told to let other people be the authors of their own stories and stick to mine.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 15, 2024 at 11:31 am #184509Maybe the fact that you are the first person to say that to me has something to do with it…… I normally get told to let other people be the authors of their own stories and stick to mine.
Okay. I am the author of this story and I won’t take every suggestion you have, but I do like to hear others ideas, so please don’t worry about that when you are reading my story. You left-handed idea was not a bad one.
August 15, 2024 at 11:33 am #184510@ellette-giselle @keilah-h @loopylin @stephie @theshadow
Tis time for the next chapter. Thank you for your patience.
August 15, 2024 at 11:36 am #184511Your tags did not work again. I think the secret to making them work involves not grabbing anything from before them when copying/pasting.
Also for those of you who might have missed it, I uploaded another image of a character introduced in Chapter the 13th to my Google Photos album: https://photos.app.goo.gl/pPdcEwEp2h22sswE8
August 15, 2024 at 12:39 pm #184515I knew it.
I KNEW IT!!!
I knew they were the faithful the minute I met Martha and Eric I knew it! I honestly did!
Hmm, I like Stripe. He’s going to be an interesting character.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 15, 2024 at 12:54 pm #184517I’ve been very busy the past few weeks. Sorry it took me so long to show up here. *hands you spinach ice cream* Anyway, I started your story, and I’m really enjoying it!
The squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual this winter. I've already lost 3 relatives.
August 16, 2024 at 11:33 am #184539I knew they were the faithful the minute I met Martha and Eric I knew it! I honestly did!
He he!
Hmm, I like Stripe. He’s going to be an interesting character.
He was the only character that I was not cringing at when rereading my first draft. Also, of all my characters in TNPT, he is probably the one I came up with first. I’m glad he is continuing to prove interesting.
August 16, 2024 at 11:37 am #184540I’ve been very busy the past few weeks. Sorry it took me so long to show up here. *hands you spinach ice cream* Anyway, I started your story, and I’m really enjoying it!
*Takes spinach ice cream, tries it* Ugh! Why did I suggest anyone should try this?
I’m glad you are enjoying the story. I understand you have been busy, so no worries about your late arrival. Would you like me to tag you when I post chapters? Also, I am curious to know how far you are.
August 16, 2024 at 11:55 am #184542*Takes spinach ice cream, tries it* Ugh! Why did I suggest anyone should try this?
Um yeah!!! Why on earth did you do that!!
Nearly made me gag.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 16, 2024 at 1:36 pm #184549@linus-smallprint ooh! Stripe is certainly interesting. I’d love to see where he goes in the story. Kunulfs are really cool.
oh, and your thing about puns being lost in translation was hilarious. I like how the narrator, whoever he is (or she? It feels like a he for some reason), is actually addressing the reader sometimes.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
August 16, 2024 at 1:52 pm #184554oh, and your thing about puns being lost in translation was hilarious. I like how the narrator, whoever he is (or she? It feels like a he for some reason), is actually addressing the reader sometimes.
I was hoping someone would comment on that. It’s a pet peeve of mine when kids go through portals to other world and the characters the meet in there speak English with no explanations, so I decided that my characters speak a different language and am making jokes about that.
The narrator is a guy. He is the real Linus Smallprint. He may mention a ‘Justin’ at some point. If you ever see that, he is referring to me. I find it amusing in books when the narrator addresses the reader, like in the Alcatraz series.
August 16, 2024 at 3:28 pm #184560@linus-smallprint ahh cool! I’m glad that you took notice of my noticing. LOL.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
August 17, 2024 at 8:20 am #184577The narrator is a guy. He is the real Linus Smallprint. He may mention a ‘Justin’ at some point. If you ever see that, he is referring to me.
Oh my goodness, that is so funny, and creative! Whata twist! lol.
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
August 18, 2024 at 1:09 pm #184616I’m only at Chapter 4 right now. I hope to get caught up this week.
The squirrels are collecting more nuts than usual this winter. I've already lost 3 relatives.
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