The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost

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  • #182246
    Linus Smallprint
    @linus-smallprint
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 395

      Hello @loopylin and anyone else who wishes to force me to keep writing and/or would not mind reading my stuff.

      I will share chapters from my The Narrow Path Trilogy: The Costs’s second draft in this forum as I write it. This would also include some worldbuilding/character development documents. Don’t feel pressured to read absolutely every document I post here.

      Your job? Make sure I keep on writing. I am going to start by posting one document a week. If I do not post something and have not given you a legitimate excuse as to why I cannot provide a chapter for you, bother me for something. I have been struggling with staying in the habit of writing. However, I find that if people hold me accountable to deadlines, I am more likely to continue writing, which is why I ask this of you.

      Also, feel free to give me feedback on what I post, this is the Novel Critique Request area of the website after all.

      I would like some people to wait for the entire second draft to be finished so they can read it in one go, so you would prefer to read the story that way, let me know and I will let you know when draft two is done.

      Just so you know, I will be putting expiry dates on links I post in here. We will see how that goes. If need be, I will remove them.

      Finally, please let me know if you would like me to hold you accountable to deadlines or feedback on your things. I have not explored too much, but I would be happy to check out your writing as well!

      I will post some chapters that I have written shortly.

      #182248
      Linus Smallprint
      @linus-smallprint
        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
        • Total Posts: 395

        Taking some more people who have expressed interest in my story.


        @highscribeofaetherium
        , @grcr, @keilah-h, @theducktator, @theshadow, @stephie, @theloonyone, and @thearcaneaxiom

        Again, don’t feel pressure to follow this if you don’t want to/are too busy.

        #182249
        Linus Smallprint
        @linus-smallprint
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 395

          This link contains The Chapter Before – Chapter the 5th. I am going to try to finish up Chapter the 6th by the end of this week.

          https://editor.reedsy.com/s/1iX8XDs

          #182262
          Keilah H.
          @keilah-h
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 4721

            @linus-smallprint oooh I’d love to see your story!!

             

            You don’t really wanna see mine though lol

            Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

            #182267
            Keilah H.
            @keilah-h
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 4721

              your story is AMAZING so far. I’m up to chapter 3.

              Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

              #182284
              Stephie
              @stephie
                • Rank: Wise Jester
                • Total Posts: 89

                @linus-smallprint I read “The Chapter Before” and it’s really good!

                "Courage, dear heart." -Aslan

                #182326
                Linus Smallprint
                @linus-smallprint
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 395

                  @keilah-h and @stephie

                  Thank you! Any consecutive feedback or more details on what you liked about it?

                  #182354
                  Keilah H.
                  @keilah-h
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 4721

                    @linus-smallprint Well, I think the story is solid, but there are a lot of little missed punctuation and stuff that could be fixed. That’s fine though, it didn’t make the story less enjoyable.

                    Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                    #182357
                    Keilah H.
                    @keilah-h
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 4721

                      @linus-smallprint lol I just met Oliver the gorb and I have to say I like him because he’s just like my two Aussie characters….XD

                      I really hope he won’t betray Alan and Tyn or something. (By the way, I like Tyn, She’s really cool.)

                       

                      Despite the fact that you said Lyens explicitly forbid wearing hats, I keep imagining Oliver wearing a slouch hat (the hat with one side of the brim pinned up, standard issue in the Australian army during the World Wars), but that’s just me lol.

                      Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                      #182358
                      Keilah H.
                      @keilah-h
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 4721

                        It probably wouldn’t fit on his head anyway, even with a chinstrap like they sometimes have.

                        Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                        #182426
                        Linus Smallprint
                        @linus-smallprint
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 395

                          @keilah-h

                          This is a bit older, I’ve changed his uniform since, but here is some artwork of Oliver.

                          #182431
                          Keilah H.
                          @keilah-h
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 4721

                            @linus-smallprint very cool!! He has a really long tail, sheesh.

                             

                            When’s Chapter 6 comin’ out?

                            Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                            #182447
                            Loopy
                            @loopylin
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 2334

                              @linus-smallprint

                              I’m on chapter three and really enjoying the world building and the characters so far. Congrats on holding my short attention span with your story for this long 😅

                              I plan on reading the rest tonight :]

                              “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help mom with the dishes.”

                              #182448
                              Loopy
                              @loopylin
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 2334

                                I think there’s a bit of over explaining going on with the world building (telling not showing), though it’s not as much as I typically see in early drafts.

                                “Everyone wants to save the world, but no one wants to help mom with the dishes.”

                                #182471
                                Linus Smallprint
                                @linus-smallprint
                                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                  • Total Posts: 395

                                  @keilah-h

                                  Yeah, I kind of imagine Oliver’s tail might thump along behind him as he is descending a stair case.

                                  I am working on Chapter the 6th right now. I hope to finish it by Saturday.

                                   


                                  @loopylin

                                  Thank you! Glad you are enjoying it.

                                  Hmm…

                                  Is it that I am spending too much time explaining things, introducing too many things, or a bit of both?

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