Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › The Narrow Path Trilogy Book I: The Cost
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July 8, 2024 at 4:33 pm #182246
Hello @loopylin and anyone else who wishes to force me to keep writing and/or would not mind reading my stuff.
I will share chapters from my The Narrow Path Trilogy: The Costs’s second draft in this forum as I write it. This would also include some worldbuilding/character development documents. Don’t feel pressured to read absolutely every document I post here.
Your job? Make sure I keep on writing. I am going to start by posting one document a week. If I do not post something and have not given you a legitimate excuse as to why I cannot provide a chapter for you, bother me for something. I have been struggling with staying in the habit of writing. However, I find that if people hold me accountable to deadlines, I am more likely to continue writing, which is why I ask this of you.
Also, feel free to give me feedback on what I post, this is the Novel Critique Request area of the website after all.
I would like some people to wait for the entire second draft to be finished so they can read it in one go, so you would prefer to read the story that way, let me know and I will let you know when draft two is done.
Just so you know, I will be putting expiry dates on links I post in here. We will see how that goes. If need be, I will remove them.
Finally, please let me know if you would like me to hold you accountable to deadlines or feedback on your things. I have not explored too much, but I would be happy to check out your writing as well!
I will post some chapters that I have written shortly.
July 8, 2024 at 4:39 pm #182248Taking some more people who have expressed interest in my story.
@highscribeofaetherium, @grcr, @keilah-h, @theducktator, @theshadow, @stephie, @theloonyone, and @thearcaneaxiomAgain, don’t feel pressure to follow this if you don’t want to/are too busy.
July 8, 2024 at 4:44 pm #182249This link contains The Chapter Before – Chapter the 5th. I am going to try to finish up Chapter the 6th by the end of this week.
July 8, 2024 at 7:55 pm #182262@linus-smallprint oooh I’d love to see your story!!
You don’t really wanna see mine though lolWhere'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
July 8, 2024 at 8:04 pm #182267your story is AMAZING so far. I’m up to chapter 3.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
July 9, 2024 at 7:04 am #182284@linus-smallprint I read “The Chapter Before” and it’s really good!
"Courage, dear heart." -Aslan
July 9, 2024 at 12:13 pm #182326July 9, 2024 at 12:55 pm #182354@linus-smallprint Well, I think the story is solid, but there are a lot of little missed punctuation and stuff that could be fixed. That’s fine though, it didn’t make the story less enjoyable.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
July 9, 2024 at 1:13 pm #182357@linus-smallprint lol I just met Oliver the gorb and I have to say I like him because he’s just like my two Aussie characters….XD
I really hope he won’t betray Alan and Tyn or something. (By the way, I like Tyn, She’s really cool.)
Despite the fact that you said Lyens explicitly forbid wearing hats, I keep imagining Oliver wearing a slouch hat (the hat with one side of the brim pinned up, standard issue in the Australian army during the World Wars), but that’s just me lol.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
July 9, 2024 at 1:16 pm #182358It probably wouldn’t fit on his head anyway, even with a chinstrap like they sometimes have.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
July 10, 2024 at 11:02 am #182426This is a bit older, I’ve changed his uniform since, but here is some artwork of Oliver.
July 10, 2024 at 12:09 pm #182431@linus-smallprint very cool!! He has a really long tail, sheesh.
When’s Chapter 6 comin’ out?
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
July 10, 2024 at 3:49 pm #182447I’m on chapter three and really enjoying the world building and the characters so far. Congrats on holding my short attention span with your story for this long 😅
I plan on reading the rest tonight :]
“Nothing says autumn like slurpin’ apples.” -my uncle
July 10, 2024 at 3:53 pm #182448I think there’s a bit of over explaining going on with the world building (telling not showing), though it’s not as much as I typically see in early drafts.
“Nothing says autumn like slurpin’ apples.” -my uncle
July 11, 2024 at 10:59 am #182471Yeah, I kind of imagine Oliver’s tail might thump along behind him as he is descending a stair case.
I am working on Chapter the 6th right now. I hope to finish it by Saturday.
Thank you! Glad you are enjoying it.
Hmm…
Is it that I am spending too much time explaining things, introducing too many things, or a bit of both?
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