Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Short Story Critiques › The Legend of King Daeus
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June 23, 2017 at 9:33 am #35720
@anne-of-lothlorien I will see what I can do, but one thing I have found with these legends is that they are very testy, and very hard to write in each request. 😀 But I will see what I can do. *glances down at you* Erm. You can rise now. I know I’m Ruler of the World and all…but hey. Kneeling for weeks at a time can get tiring. 😀
☀ ☀ ☀ ENFP ☀ ☀ ☀
June 25, 2017 at 1:51 pm #35803@dragon-snapper, Fun fact, getting captured by dragons is actually how I got my Marketing job here at Kingdom Pen. Also, the fact that dragons smell like coffee is the number 1 reason why I was trying to capture them.
June 29, 2017 at 1:15 am #36000@Dragon-Snapper SOMEHOW I MISSED THIS UNTIL NOW??? My bad. But anyways. IT WAS GREAT AND GOOD JOB TO ALL OF THAT. XD
Writing Heroes ♦ Writing Hope // janemareeauthor.com.au
June 30, 2017 at 9:09 am #36089Oh snapper! (that’s you, @dragon-snapper) this is really good! I enjoyed reading it. 😀 Please write more!!!! I loved that the Count of Monte Cristo was in Spanish, and that Daeus couldn’t read it, and that it was torture. So true. 😀 Except… Daeus probably would have been able to figure out how to read it in Spanish by reciting the Count of Monte Cristo in his head in English! 😀 😀 Did you know that every one in the Lamb family LOVES TEA? You should include that in the next part that you’re GOING to write (hint hint!!!!) It’s kind of like the raspberries, tea is a staple. *Raises tea cup* cheers! I can’t believe that I missed this until now… except that I have a folder for kingdom pen on my email and I haven’t checked it – only because I didn’t know it was there.
And, since this story is obviously about Daeus, here’s some stuff about him to give character depth:
1. He’s always got an idea
2. He doesn’t eat ice cream every day – because then he would be fat XD
3. He loves tea
4. He smells like wintergreen
5. We play Ultimate Frisbee at the park twice a week with our friends – it’s an infatuation for both of us
6. He’s an extrovert but not a chatty Cathy
7. He loves to garden
8. He eats more frozen raspberries than fresh ones
9. He’s always writing!!!
@daeus, is this correct?And if I came upon Daeus, lying limp with soy ice cream all over him on stone steps or whatever it was, I would be in a PANIC!!! And AGONY!!! And DISTRESS!!! And TEARS!!! And I would scream at everybody do DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!
FYI.
And now, for the sake of brevity, I say adieu and wish all jollity be with you.
(Copied from Daeus)June 30, 2017 at 11:09 am #36098Pretty much. Only tea wouldn’t be in my top ten descriptions of myself, and I only smell like wintergreen occasionally when I use this one oil to relieve back tension, and I only love to garden when I’m not writing, which means I don’t like to garden very much, and I do eat ice cream every day and I am very fat.
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June 30, 2017 at 12:27 pm #36104@michael-stanton Well, dragons smelling like coffee is certainly a good reason. Coffee smells amazing! Did I make you a worthy enough evil overlord? 😉
@jane-maree Thank you. 😀
@kina-lamb *waves* *unwaves* Wait. You like tea? Ew. Unfortunately, dragons aren’t really ones for tea…
But anyway, glad you liked it! 😀 And poor Daeus. Soy ice cream, alas, no one should have to go through that. 😛
@daeus Ice cream every day? I’m jealous.☀ ☀ ☀ ENFP ☀ ☀ ☀
July 1, 2017 at 7:51 am #36131@Jess-Penrose this is the story I was telling you about. *fingerguns*
Writing Heroes ♦ Writing Hope // janemareeauthor.com.au
July 3, 2017 at 5:23 am #36207@jane-maree oh my goodness. This is amazing!!! I died reading both of them, and the comments, and that picture. Oh wow, just wow guys! Priceless, all of it! AMAZING!!!! COMPLETELY!!! *Notes to check what’s happening on the forum a looooooot more. A lot more. Cos more is good.*
Writer | Freelance Editor
Inspiration<July 3, 2017 at 9:40 am #36208@jess-penrose Haha! I’m glad you liked it! 😛 And yes, come on the forum. It’s awesome here!
☀ ☀ ☀ ENFP ☀ ☀ ☀
July 3, 2017 at 9:29 pm #36262@dragon-snapper, YES! IT SEEMS TO BE COOL!!! *Goes to stalk the forum more*
Writer | Freelance Editor
Inspiration<July 29, 2017 at 2:18 pm #38380@dragon-snapper I just remembered something to add to that list of things about Daeus. I don’t know if anyone on here knows this or not, but he was born in Japan – he doesn’t speak Japanese so don’t ask him to. 😀
August 5, 2017 at 6:51 am #38915*now really really wants to ask @Daeus if he speaks Japanese*
I suppose it’s not good that right when someone tells me not to ask someone something, I want to go right ahead and ask that someone that something?ENFP - "One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane."
August 5, 2017 at 8:06 am #38920@anne-of-lothlorien I can only say hello, goodbye, and MacDonalds….
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August 5, 2017 at 8:11 am #38922@daeus MacDonalds… interesting word to know in Japanese. Well, I guess those three are everything you need to know to get on in Japan. Hi, bye, and show me to the fast food place.
ENFP - "One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane."
August 21, 2017 at 9:35 pm #41439*grabs @dragon-snapper and begins shaking her very hard* Why could I never find this before? (Until @daeus shared it with @aislinn-mollisong ‘s thread) Beleive me I looked, but could never find this. (Shame on the separate search engines) *flys around the room hitting all the walls* This is a comedy! *hits a wall to hard and falls to the ground* Dragons save the day again.
Now I know what everyone’s was talking about. 😁 I wasn’t a member at the time so I didn’t ask.😸 Yay!IMMA KAPEEFER! Til we're old and gray!
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