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Yeah, he’s pretty cool!!!!!!!! <3 I love Xandro
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
@keilah-h @anyone-else
If you want to know what things in my book look like, like people, places, etc, here’s a link to my pinterest! I have a lot of boards with pictures that describe several characters and races in my book!
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
@savannah_grace2009 huh, your link isn’t working. It should….
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Do you have a pinterest account? If you’re logged in it should work.
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
@savannah_grace2009 nope, sorry.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
Aw :/ so sad *cries*
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper @keilah-h
So…I just wrote this scene and i was wondering if it’s a little weird that I call the guy ‘Father’ all the time instead of giving him a real name. He isn’t a priest and he isn’t even Baron’s biological father. The reason I don’t give him a real name is that Baron doesn’t know what his real name is, he only knows him as Father, but does it feel weird in the scene?
Baron knocked and entered his Father’s quarters. He knelt. “You sent for me, Father?”
“Yes, Baron,” Came the calming voice. “Stand up, let me look at you.”
Baron stood, facing his Father. His Father was a tall man, and though he was much older than Baron, showed no signs of being beyond the brightest bloom of age. He had a handsome face, and his long hair, which touched the top of his shoulders, and which was a dark color rare to see in the country of Albandra, was neatly brushed and displayed. His eyes were a blue, not a disturbingly bright blue, but a calming shade. Paired with his voice, it made it hard to believe that this man was the cold-blooded leader of the Bloodsilver.
“Have you not been sleeping well, Baron? You look tired and pale.” His voice showed great concern. “Come, sit with me.” Father motioned with his pale hand towards two masterfully embroidered upholstered chairs by a fireplace.
Baron curled into one of the chairs like he did as a child. Though he was much taller than when he was a child, he was always skinny and more flexible than the average person. He found he could still curl up in the chair, and trace the embroidery with his fingers.
Father smiled kindly as Baron did this, sitting in his own chair normally. “Tell me, Baron, have you been feeling alright?”
Baron turned his attention to Father, his finger pausing in its path around a flower. “I’m fine, I’m just…slightly troubled.”
“About what?”
“The little girl, Rya. I can’t forget about her, Father. I’ve tried, but I can’t.” Baron turned his face away, tracing the flower again.
Father listened with a grave expression. “Maybe another mission would help you to forget the last one. It is the reason I called you.”
Baron halted on a leaf, his green eyes turning back to Father. “Who is my target?”
“A defector.” Father brought up a knee toward his chin, with his foot resting on the edge of the seat. He interlaced his fingers, laying them on his knee. “He had made a deal with the government. They offer him protection, he testifies against us. You will strike tomorrow night, as he goes to bed in his guarded house. Faren will go with you to take care of the guards. What do you think, Baron?”
“I can take him.”
“Good, that’s my boy. You will be briefed tomorrow. For now, I want you to go back to your chambers and sleep. You need your rest.”
Every time you smile, a flower blooms somewhere in the world.
#AnduthForever (hopefully💕)Ooh I love desert settings! Too bad Liv doesn’t feel the same way – and too bad she is so exhausted, for that matter. Is this sister older or younger than her?
I don’t think it’s too repetitive, except for this bit at the beginning:
Baron knocked and entered his Father’s quarters. He knelt. “You sent for me, Father?
“Yes, Baron,” Came the calming voice. “Stand up, let me look at you.”
Baron stood, facing his Father. His Father was a tall man…
Ideally, for me, a couple of those Fathers can be cut out or replaced.
But the name has a good hint of strangeness to it, with the assassin plotline and everything. Your descriptions of character action have gotten so much better, too. I like how both of them are lounging on comfortable chairs in this scene, and how Baron acts. Well done!
There has been no news for Silksong for today...
Amazing scene! And I agree with Whaley. Not too repetitive, but maybe substitute a few of those “Fathers” with something like, “The man” or something. Not too much of that either, but just enough to brake up the monotony of “Father”
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Thanks!!!
Aubrielle’s her older sister.
This lady thrives on the divine grace of Faith and the rich embrace of caffeine.
Thank you for the feedback! I’m about to go edit the short story the scene is in, so this will be very helpful.
Every time you smile, a flower blooms somewhere in the world.
#AnduthForever (hopefully💕)Sorry, I forgot about your question regarding a book that turns into a fantasy book part way through.
I haven’t read A Series of Unfortunate Events, but I have read some other books where reality becomes fantasy. Here are some ideas for you for your foreshadowing:
- Fantasy Ideas: Maybe you could have some things like one character wondering if something could be destiny when some things fall together a little too well. (now, as a Christian author, I don’t really like that this is the one I went to. We do believe destiny is read, as God is in control. Destiny just ends up being associated with fantasy and sounds like it could be magical.)
- Reality becoming fantasy: If you do have a magic system, could you have something that works something like it in the ‘real world’ without seeming like a fantasy thing? Eventually, it is revealed that it and your magic system are the same?
- Dreams: One fantasy series I read the first book for (it wasn’t good though so I didn’t continue), starts with the protagonist dreaming she is trapped in a blizzard. Later on, when she gets to the fantasy world, she finds herself in the same blizzard.
- Mundaane object turning out to be magic: In this same book series, a character who likes to draw receives a sketchpad. He becomes oddly obsessed with working on one drawing. You kind of wounder if this is normal for him, since you know he likes to draw, but at the same time something seems off. Eventually, his drawing, when hung on a wall, turns into a portal to the fantasy world.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
NO. MATURE. RELATIONSHIPS. BETWEEN. CHILDREN. I have read about 2 books ever that had elementry/middle school relationships well written. I don’t care if in real life 12 year olds date. I don’t want to read about it.
TELL ME ABOUT IT. It’s insane how often you’ll find those in books and it’s really just ridiculous. 🥱
Bearded men are hot. Why don’t heroes ever have beards?
🤣
The only bearded men I’ve written are either middle-aged and married with like four children, or villains. 😂 Though you do make a very good point, lol!
I really like all the points you brought up though! Thanks so much!!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply! I really appreciate your point of view on this. I can’t say I agree with everything 100%, but I definitely understand and support your viewpoint. It gave me a lot to think about!
In fact, piggybacking off of your conversation with Whaley, I can totally understand your way of thinking here. I don’t necessarily think dating is wrong, but I also don’t want to be “wasting my time” with someone who may be a great guy, but who’s not the one for me. That’s why I don’t think I’ll ever date during high school (or my parents will let me), unless, of course, I get the go ahead from God.
For example, there was this one guys who’s recently been showing me more attention, in a friendly, appropriate way. But of lot of my friends and family are convinced he likes me. He hasn’t said anything about it to me or asked me out, but I prayed about it, asking the Lord to take away my growing feelings for him if God didn’t want me with him right now. Welp…He answered that prayer. And I’m okay with the two of us just being friends. It’s not always easy, but I’m content waiting for my future husband. (I’ve actually gotten a lot of encouragement from the book Praying for Your Future Husband by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer. Five out of five stars, girl. I HIGHLY recommend.)
Anyway…. XD Went on a mini rant there. 🤭
For example, I got to watch a beautiful relationship between two friends I’ve known since childhood. We all knew they had set parameters like this. The farther into the relationship it was really easy to see that it was hard. He would reach out to loop an arm around her waist and then pull back. She would go to lean her head against him and then stop. It was super tough, but they prayed, we as their friends prayed with and for them, and we encouraged them and cheered them on. Then the wedding day came. She walked down the aisle, he cried beautifully, they said their vows, exchanged rings….. and then the moment. He lifted her veil, put his arms around her for the first time, and dipped her into a beautiful kiss. I can tell you right now, you could have heard us miles away! Every guy was on his feet whooping and waving his cowboy hat, all the girls were crying and cheering, and the adults were laughing and cheering them on. They kissed several times, and then he hugged her and spun her around. After that, you couldn’t have separated the two of them. She was on his arm the entire night! lol.
I actually love this so much 🥹
In fact, I read a fiction book where one of the couples in there did that. I don’t know about other physical contact, but they waited until their wedding day for their first kiss. It was so beautiful, even if it didn’t actually happen irl 🥰😂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Ah, okay, I get what you’re saying. I’m definitely going to be considering that getting into some major plot points coming up in my book. 😉 Thanks!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
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