- This topic has 6,810 replies, 64 voices, and was last updated 11 hours, 53 minutes ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I feel like a lot of people I know have been sick the past two weeks or so. My dad and I were just talking to our youth pastor at church this morning and he was saying his whole family had something this past week and several of them had fevers for three or four days straight. He himself said he couldn’t even drink coffee, it tasted horrible to him (and if you know him you know he loves coffee). My dad even remarked, “Wow you must’ve really been sick if you thought coffee tasted bad!”
Friday we had a handful of people call off sick at work and it was not fun because Friday is a busier day for us and being down several people was challenging.
Anyway idk what the point is of me sharing all this…. *shrugs*
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
Heyy, I’m glad to see you again! That’s super exciting about your novel!
Thanks!
Oh, that sounds fun! Do you like far away from where you used to?
Yeah, we’re about 3,000 miles away XD, I’m from California and now in NC.
I’m not super great. My brothers and I have had this nasty sickness all week. We seriously had fevers for four days straight and I was actually sleepwalking at one point (ok, that part was slightly hilarious tbh). But we’re getting better.
Sorry about being that, everyone in my family but I had something too a week or so ago. It wasn’t that bad, but they’re better now. Hope you get better soon! Yikes, sleepwalking. I have a problem with that 😅 And moving things around so when I wake up they are somewhere totally different, luckily that only happens very rarely.
Writing has not really happened lately. Aside from being sick for a week, life has just been really hectic this year, with school being really busy, our black-belt pathway training for karate taking up a lot of time and energy, my online class’ midterm having been due last month, and a lot of other stuff. So I’m hanging in there. Hopefully this summer when all our karate stuff will be over will be better.
Oooh almost at black-belt?? Thats amazing! Yeah, I hear you school has been busy I dont know why but after the start of this year it just went BANG! XD
So glad you’re back!! I’ve missed you too!! 🥰
Thanks! I missed you too <3
Drivers ed… funnn 😎😂
*gasp* That is so exciting!!! I’m so excited for you!!!
I wish I could be that excited about driving…😂 And thank you! It is a huge step forward!
I’m doing good! Writing’s going pretty well. I’m almost done with the third draft of the first book in my trilogy! And I’ve been working on another WIP on the side… 👀
Wow! Thats great! Are you working on another part of your trilogy on the side or a completely different novel?
"Would you kindly...?"
Sooooooooo I know that you and @elishavet-pidyon (and @smiley) are all Leon fans….
so I have a question.
I’m currently working on Book #2 (aka Broken Shackles) of my Broken and Redeemed trilogy (Leon/Riker’s standalone trilogy😂) and I’m trying to figure out what to do next.
I want to show a scene of Leon being playful with his kids just before the chapter when it’s been almost exactly 1 year since Aadelheide *cough cough* spoilers *cough cough*
y’all know what I’m talking about
and bc that 1 year mark will begin Leon’s true plunge into hatred/uncontrollable anger, I want to write a really sweet scene of him and his kids…
…but I’ve tried writing it and it just won’t come together in the way I want🫠
Idk if I want them to go on a walk together…or maybe playing together.
Idk…y’all have any ideas? And especially, do y’all have any ideas of how I can try to get this scene to flow and stick together?
#BeardedSteveRogersIsSuperior
Awwww, I’ve been so wanting a sweet scene for poor Leon. He’s been through so much.
A walk would be sweet. What about Leon and his daughter picking flowers? The boys could find an earthworm to tantalize their sister with, which could transition into memories of teasing Aadelheide if you wanted (I don’t know if he did, it just seems like something that would happen).
The flowers could end up being for Aadelheide. I know her…place probably isn’t known, but what if his daughter (for some reason I can’t remember her name right now) says they’re for her? or asks if she would like them?
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkWhat if he puts a flower in her hair? What if one of the boys finds a snail or frog and wants to take it home?
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkA happy/sweet Leon scene!!!!! I’ve been wanting to see some healthy scenes with him and his kids sooo badly! It’s such a sweet family and he loves them so much it hurts to read the not do happy scenes. XD
Ok, so thoughts….
Maybe forget for a moment the spoiler and write as if everything is normal. You can add implications etc. later.
Explore his love language, as well as the kids. What hobbies has he picked up? Or have they picked any up while he was gone?
I really like the walk idea, and @koshka ‘s thoughts on flowers&bugs. Maybe relax on getting one perfect scenario, and just write out several short versions of the ideas you like. See how they need to be edited, or maybe how they can be combined. You might find you have the starts for several scenes for different places in the plot.
Also, you have probably already thought of this, but I might as well rant on my favorite writerly tools.
Do you have a scene of him where he is not thinking about Adelaide? Because if you don’t have some where he is not actively expressing his grief, the impact of his flashbacks/grief will be diminished by overuse. Plus, vague references are fun! (To me, at least) For instance , reflecting his mental state through the things he notices, like him seeing a young couple walking together (but leaving his thoughts for the reader to decipher.) Anyway, just something I thought I’d mention, as I’m playing with it currently.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
What if Isabel makes him tea and it tastes awful, but he drinks it anyway so she doesn’t feel bad?
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
The tea…XD That should soooo happen.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkHey! I have a question for anyone. The social media platform I use currently changed their policies and now I cant post. Do you guys have any other suggestions for a new platform. Is Instagram any good? Thanks!
"Would you kindly...?"
Y’all are the absolute best!! I have a scene written and I actually really love how it’s turning out. Y’all are amazing✨✨
@whalekeeper @both-of-y’all-as-wellYessss, I must do the tea thing in a scene a bit later on. It would be the best thing ever. XD
and now to just figure out what I want to do with Riker in the same chapter🤔
#BeardedSteveRogersIsSuperior
I guess it depends what you use social media for and what you like to post. I do have Insta, and used to have Facebook. I think Facebook was easier to post on (Insta only lets you do ten photos in a post, so if you’re a photographer like me who likes to dump photos from a photo shoot, it’s a little frustrating. Also sometimes depending on the picture it cuts off part of it, and that’s annoying if I try to post a group picture of friends and two of them get cut off the ends. However, a lot of people just post stories that only stay for 24 hours and then disappear, so you can post a lot of photos that way.) but Facebook isn’t as commonly used in Gen Z as Instagram, so probably more of your peers would have Instagram. I got rid of Facebook a few years ago when God asked me to, but then later got Insta when I started public school and wanted to have a way of contact with other students. I like being able to stay in touch with old friends, and there are other things I use it for now, too, but sometimes I honestly wish I didn’t have social media XD. In summary: I liked Facebook better than Insta as far as the formatting, but it’s easier to stay in touch with friends/peers on Insta.
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
@koshka @elishavet-pidyon Here it is!! @godlyfantasy12 @smiley @whalekeeper @trailblazer @acancello @grcr @rae @savannah_grace2009 @lightoverdarkness6 @loopylin @keilah-h @mineralizedwritings
I have another chapter to share!!
With Koshka and Elishavet’s help and fabulous ideas, I (FINALLY) got a sweet scene written between Leon and his adorable kids…and Riker’s half of the chapter is also super cute in the first half of it…
💕💕🥹
ANYWHOOOOOO
SCENE TIME!!!!!!
Sunlight peered through the trees, bouncing off flowers and illuminating the small park in colorful light.
A walk, a moment, to spend with his kids…Leon wanted it more than anything. And given that Louisa had insisted he had no need to stick around for her, that left just him and the little ones he loved more than anything else.
Leon ran his hand across the bright grass; he plucked a small daisy from among the mass of flowers. Isabel set a hand on his knee, tapping. “Daddy, Daddy, look.”
Leon glanced at the makeshift flower crown his daughter had weaved together, daisies and small thornless roses alike woven together with beauty and thoughtfulness. “You look beautiful, cupcake.”
Isabel grinned from ear to ear. “It’s missing something, Daddy.”
Leon smiled and plucked a spring of lavender out of the grass, weaving it in an empty space between a daisy and a bright red rose on her crown. “There,” Leon gently weaved the daisy in his hand into Isabel’s curls, “now nothing is missing.”
Isabel giggled, stood up, and twirled, round and round, her dress fanning around her and her curls bouncing. Her smile brightened and she squealed in delight as Leon stood and hoisted her up into his arms and up into the air.
Leon caught her in his strong arms and placed a kiss on her forehead. “My precious cupcake, I love you so much.”
Isabel’s small arms wrapped around Leon’s neck. “I love you the most, Daddy.”
“The most? You love me the most?” Leon tickled her stomach; Isabel giggled loudly, “Don’t your brothers get a say too? Speaking of which…where are your brothers?” He set Isabel down and glanced around the space. They had been close by only moments before, so where had they disappeared to so quickly?
They couldn’t have gotten very far—“Isbel, Isbel, look!” Albert cried, rushing over, Elias toddling right behind him. Albert held up a small, pink worm.
Isabel shook her head, firm. “No. I don’t want a worm. Yucky.”
Elias cooed, reaching for the worm in Albert’s hands. Albert pulled away and held it up. “Dada, look.”
“I see the worm. Oh, he’s wriggling around; I think he wants to be free.”
Albert’s brown eyes brightened; he giggled and set the wriggling creature on the ground among the flowers. “Bye-bye.”
Leon crouched down in front of Albert; he tapped the tip of Albert’s nose. “Herr Worm says ‘thank you’,” he said the thanks with a playful, silly voice; Albert giggled, “and I think someone else wants to get…tickled.”
He grabbed Albert and pulled him close, tickling his stomach and just under his chin. Albert squealed and giggled. Leon pulled Elias close and did the same; Elias screeched and howled with laughter. Leon fell back into the grass, both boys laughing and lying beside his sides just under his arms.
Isabel giggled and leapt onto Leon’s stomach. Leon gasped. Laughter escaped his lips before he could even stop it, lost in the joy of it all. Leon pulled all three of his gifts close, giving them each a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. Everything he’d endured…everything he’d survived through…it was all for them. Everything was for them.
They were his everything.
“Dada, run.”
Leon smiled, sat up, and released Albert. “Stay close. Don’t go too far.”
Albert giggled and began running around the small area, sticking close enough where Leon didn’t have to worry—not too much, at least. Isabel settled beside Leon in the grass, and Leon settled Elias in his lap, handing him a small blade of grass to play with.
“Would Mommy love these flowers, Daddy?”
Leon turned his head. Isabel held up a bundle of daisies, her gaze uncertain. Leon smiled faintly and pressed a kiss to Isabel’s forehead. “She would love those so much. Mommy loves flowers.”
Isabel brightened and a small smile played with her lips. She giggled and handed Leon the small bouquet. “We can take the flowers to Oma! Oma loves flowers too.”
Leon took the bouquet and smiled as Isabel gathered flowers; he bounced Elias in his lap and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Albert’s giggle lifted to the air; he tugged on Leon’s sleeve and held up a small snail. “Look, Dada! I have snail.”
“Woah,” Leon pulled a flower away from Elias’ hands, his youngest son’s fingers coming all too close to his mouth, “that snail looks so big.”
“Keep him?”
“Albert, snails eat leaves…we don’t have leaves so he wouldn’t eat,” Isabel placed her hands on her hips and frowned, “so we can’t keep him.”
Leon released his grip on Elias; he faced his daughter with a raised eyebrow. “Isabel-“
Elias toddled away, giggling. Seeing his brother, Albert set the snail down, laughed, and chased after him, the snail quickly forgotten. Leon turned his attention to Isabel, seeing that the boys were staying close by. “Isabel, I was going to tell him we had to leave the snail here.”
Isabel plucked petals of a small daisy. “I can help, Daddy.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I help, Daddy!”
Leon adjusted his position on the grass; he placed his knees underneath him and beckoned for Isabel. “Come here, cupcake.”
Isabel came to him, and Leon gently held her small hands in his own. His dark eyes met his seven-year-old daughter’s bright blue. “Isabel, you don’t have to help me raise your brothers…you can help take care of them sometimes if you want, but you should focus on learning and playing like all of the other little kids.”
“But Daddy-“
“Isabel,” Leon brushed a loose curl out of Isabel’s eyes, “I want you to still be young.”
“Daddy, I help…Oma helps, and I help too!”
“Oma is an adult like me, Isabel, but you—”
“You and Mommy said you come back, but Mommy’s not here, and Mommy’s in heaven.”
Leon’s hands rested on Isabel’s small, chubby cheeks. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
Isabel’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Do you promise?”
“Yes, I promise. I promise I won’t leave you and I won’t let any of you go…I’m not going anywhere.”
“Pinkie promise?” Isabel asked, her bright blue eyes wide and full, and a small frown on her face; she held up her hand.
Leon gripped his daughter’s smallest finger with his own. “Promise.”
Isabel giggled and leapt into Leon’s embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck. Leon rubbed her back and held her close.
He leaned his head back and breathed in the scent of flowers and the hope of tomorrow.
~*~
“There you go. You can do it,” Riker held out his arms, “you’re doing so well.”
Lina smiled from ear to ear, giggled, and took another step. Her right leg gave way and she stumbled; Riker caught her before she fell on the hospital floor.
He helped the small girl sit down, making sure her leg braces were set right to where she’d sit comfortably.
Lina whined and tugged on her curls. “I mess up again.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Lina. You’re still learning how to walk on your own.”
“But I’m a cripple.”
“Lina,” Riker whispered, gently reminding her of the many conversations they’d had about such an issue.
Lina frowned and pulled out the pink bow in her hair. “I want to see flowers.”
Riker lifted his jacket off a nearby table, pulling something small out of one of the pockets. He held it behind his back and crouched down in front of Lina. “Well,” he held out his small gift, “I already took care of that.”
Lina giggled and clapped her hands in delight; she took the bouquet of daisies and ran her small fingers over the petals, observing each flower. “They’re so pretty!”
“I was hoping you would like them.”
Lina glanced up at Riker; a gap-tooth smile brightened her face. “I love flowers…hug?”
She held out her arms and Riker complied, giving her a gentle but tight hug. Riker pulled away and tapped the edge of Lina’s nose. “You are something special. Did you know that?”
“More than cripple?”
“So much more.”
Lina giggled and put her hands up in the air. “Carry me?”
Riker grinned, stood, and hoisted Lina up into his embrace, hefting her into the air and catching her again with one arm.
Lina wrapped both of her hands around her bouquet. She squealed in delight. “Again, again!”
“Mr. Schind, I hate to bother you, but a man is here to see you…he’s just outside.”
Riker turned on his heel to face the young American nurse that often cared for Lina and spoke fluent German. Though he could understand English, Lina could not.
“Did he give a name?”
“No sir,” the nurse swapped over to German, “Lina, honey, it’s time for you to have a bath.”
Lina wrapped her arms around Riker’s neck, giving him a tight hug. Riker gently handed her over to the nurse, who walked away with Lina in her arms, talking animatedly and gently with the young girl.
Riker grabbed his coat, brought merely for the use of carrying the bouquet, and quickly exited the Red Cross hospital. He wiped sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.
“There you are, boy. ‘Going to visit a friend’, my—”
Riker turned his head and held up a hand, stopping his father in his tracks. “This isn’t what it looks like—”
Franz scoffed. “Save your lies. I should’ve known you were lying—I should’ve known you would be disappointing me again. Henry saw you coming in here, and I didn’t want to believe him, but of course you’d be helping the blasted Americans.”
Riker ran his tongue over his lips; his heart thudded so hard he could feel it in his head. “Father,”
Franz held up a hand; his coal eyes narrowed with visible anger. “Don’t bother coming home. Maybe a night in the elements will teach a dummkopf like you something for once.”
Riker bit his lip; his gaze fell to his boots. His father’s footsteps echoed, dulling as he stomped further and further away. Only when he couldn’t hear any footsteps did Riker dare raise his head.
He released a shaky breath and tilted his head back. He breathed in the scent of fresh air and the reassurance of a tomorrow he knew he didn’t deserve.
#BeardedSteveRogersIsSuperior
Riker’s half of the chapter is so short 😆🫠
#BeardedSteveRogersIsSuperior
*Heart melts*
That was so sweet! I love how you tied it all together, and Isabel is adorable.
Who is this Lina? She sounds so sweet and soo much more than a cripple.
Franz…you ignoramus. I’m about to use my store of archaic insults on you.
*Storms off in a huff*
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the Gork
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.