Teary Scenes

[Elfwing]

@karissa-chmil thanks! that is helpful, yes

I'm 'a homeschooler' because cookie-making writing artistic animal-whisperer isn't a job title

[Mary G]

Hey @elfwing,

Here are my two cents. When I write emotional scenes I try to think about where the character’s hands are and what they’re doing, as well as other facial cues. Like others have mentioned, you don’t necessarily  need to show tears to show someone is sad. For example, the character scratches the bridge of their nose, avert’s their gaze to what’s in their hands or to somewhere else, they clenched what they are holding, (like a cup, or door nob, arm of a chair.) They cover their face with their hands, run their fingers through their hair, rub the back of their neck, bite their lip, twist up their face, or one of my favorites is their chin quaked or trembled.

Hope that helps in some way!:)

Have a blessed Easter!

INFJ/ChristianFiction/ IceCreamAddict/ StarGazer/ https://lamplighterletters.wixsite.com/mysite-1

[Starden03]

@elfwing

One thing that I think might be helpful is a combination of unusual phrasing and metaphor, for the reason that the complexity of the writing draws attention away from the all-absorbing sorrows of the characters, putting them into perspective but somehow also making them more poignant. I know you said you’re tired of cliché phrases to describe crying, something I’ve definitely tried to avoid as well. I don’t have one rule that always works to avoid these, but here are a few I’ve tried in the past.

“‘Have you ever killed anybody, [MC]?’ she asked, dull and broken like a rusted length of pipe.”

“She stared past [MC] at her echo on the wall against the yellow candle-circle, while the shadows of her voice reflected round the narrow space in endless variations. It did not quake, but she could not entirely prevent her face from doing so; every now and then some small contortion—a twitching of the nose, a twisting of the lips, a sort of grotesque wink, a bobbing of the throat—would pass for the briefest instant over her features as she spoke.”

“[S]he drew a long, shuddering breath, as if shattered glass was sticking into her lungs, but the excruciating pain of breathing was the only alternative to asphyxiation[.]”

“Her face was twisting, and for a moment she looked incapable of going on, but then she looked up at [MC], and her eyes were wet, dripping with liquid light, it seemed, as the candle cast its glow into her face and turned her tears to stars.”

Honestly, when I wrote these, I kind of just used whatever random metaphor came into my mind and I liked enough to put into my story. I think your readers will be far more willing to read a sad scene if you help them see it in a new way through unusual language.

My life is hid with Christ in God

[Keilah H.]

@everybody I actually had a situation like this in a character a couple months ago. Here is this stern, fierce, typically cynical and sometimes selfish character, standing over the aftermath of a battle where the character he was sworn to protect sacrificed herself to defeat the main villain, and he literally drops his weapon, falls to his knees and buries his face in his hands. Ayyyy talk about key point in his arc!! This part of the story is a really clear indication he doesn’t just care about himself, no matter how much he looks that way at first. Also it introduces another thing because he thinks he failed her, and he really didn’t. Wow, I really tortured these charries, didn’t I?

And, on top of that, he thinks she’s dead but she SURVIVES…. I mean, he later finds out but not for a short while…. Aaand at the point in the story me and my brother left off, they are a couple. Man, I just realized just how crazy I can be with stories that start off with me and my bro chatting…..

Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

[Author]

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