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THANK YOU 🙂 🙂
I know, the Chessy and Manly scenes made me very emotional 😢
And yes, be scared! There is emotional trauma coming for you!
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@sleepwalkingmk @skredder @jenwriter17 @rochellaine
I have updated the google doc again, and thus ends part 1. Enjoy!
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice Yaaaaaaay! 😀 I am so excited about this, but I probably won’t get to it until Monday.
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comI have a few questions after reading your document about court procedure:
Does the defendant/accused/Justice defend himself or is that done by the barrister?
Does the prosecution or the defence go first?
And where does the defending of or by Justice go? before the prosecution? after it? something else?
So far, I think those are the only points I’m not clear on.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
And one more thing that I forgot.
Who questions the witnesses?
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice Well, the defendant is technically always allowed to defend himself if he wants to do so, but the only place that really works is in the small claims court where everything is a little less formal. (Even here in America where we’re not as formal as you. 😉 ) In criminal courts, if the defendant doesn’t bring a lawyer he really doesn’t have much of a chance. And if he does have a lawyer, as Justice does in the scene you wrote, the lawyer will give the arguments, and the defendant will only be called upon to speak as a witness.
However, I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to see the two YouTube links I gave you with the Nazi trials? In those, though there were “lawyers,” they just sat there and didn’t really do anything. The judge did all the questioning, and the accused acted at once as a witness and as an arguer, (that’s not the correct term, but I can’t think of it right now, 😉 ) though sometimes he wasn’t allowed to speak unless the judge told him to do so. So you could either have Justice defend himself, or you could have him speak just as a witness.
The prosecution goes first. 🙂 They’ve got to give the defense the reason to defend themselves, right?
I put a comment on the document showing where I explained the trial process. I guess that could be kind of unclear, so I’ll try to explain a bit better:
Order of things at a Trial:
- Prosecution opening argument
- Defense opening argument (may skip opening arguments sometimes? I’m not sure)
- Prosecution questions witnesses, which may include the defendant. However, the defendant does possibly have the right to refuse to answer the questions. (In Australia this is not as good a defense as it is in America, but it still is there.)
- Defense cross-examines the prosecution’s witnesses, meaning the defense lawyer asks the same witnesses his own questions.
- Defense brings in witnesses for the defense and questions them
- Prosecution cross-examines defense witnesses
- Prosecution closing argument (Closing arguments may have no new evidence. They have to speak with what they used before during the opening arguments and witness questionings.)
- Defense closing argument
Does this help? I’ll be glad to answer any more questions! I know sometimes I’m bad at explaining things. 😛
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@seekjustice I’m so sorry, but this week has been really busy and I haven’t been able to read the rest of Stars Fill Infinity yet! 🙁 I have a long train ride tomorrow though, so I hope I’ll be able to catch up then 🙂
Read to explore worlds, write to create them.
No worries! That’s fine 🙂
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice I got caught up finally! Sorry for not reading this earlier. 🙁 It was really good! I really enjoyed it! 😀
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
AHHHHHH @seekjustice I just finished part 3 AND I”M SO SCARED
Justice finally (with Chessy *cough cough*) But then she doesn’t even know and I know what happens and A Tale of Two Cities but I’m still so SCARED how do you do this?!
AHHHH And Zac! I didn’t really like him in the beginning to be honest but my thoughts about him have kind of progressed the way they did about Sydney and now he’s my poor baby. *cries*
The Caelans are freaking me out right now. I didn’t realize about the paintings until Chessy talked to Theresa and then I was screaming. That was such a clever change though! Theresa is so creepy O_O
Read to explore worlds, write to create them.
Guess what, guys? I FINISHED DRAFT TWO!!! Finally!
Now, I’m getting into some more editing, but before then, I’d love to have some beta readers comb through it and basically speak their mind on it.
I’m looking for about seven to ten betas, and I’ll be making a post on my blog looking inviting anyone to beta read, but I know some of you guys are keen to be “Proper” beta readers for my novel, so I thought I’d give you guys first pick.
I’d be doing this phase of editing slightly differently to I did it before though. I’ll link a Google form, and if you’re interested you can fill in the form with your name and email address. Then I’ll send the Microsoft Word document to you and you’ll have until September 30th to read through it, comment and answer the questions I’ll attach as well.
Basically, it’s going to be more formal and organised than I did it with you alpha readers 🙂
Now, please, don’t feel obligated in anyway to do the full beta read. I know some of you just want to read it, and that’s fine, I’m happy to give you the Google doc link if you don’t have time/don’t want to commit to the full beta read. I just thought I’d let you know.
Here’s the link for those of you who are interested. 🙂
The Stars Fill Infinity Sign Up Form
@rochellaine @jenwriter17 @valtmy @alia @sleepwalkingmk @dekreel @catwing @skredder (Hey, speaking of you, friend, you’ve sorta disappeared and taken your novel with you and I’d love to continue reading it!) @sarah-anson Did I forget anyone?INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice Thanks for tagging me! I’m so excited to read it!! 😀 😀
You can pronounce it however you want.
@seekjustice Yessss! YESSSSSS! I must do this! 😀
Oh, just so you know, Skredder posted the 17+ parts of her book in one google doc so I could read it in one piece. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1K2gcW2VDMwceVyzKPWxAtGQID1ttkQrFpRljfQoppmk/edit
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.com@seekjustice Bringing our discussion from both the second draft doc and Writers’ Corner here because I’m about to give you a long rant. 😛
After reading both the original draft and the second draft again in the “Chestice” conversation section, I figured out what the problem with it was.
Justice has ignored or put down Chessy for the entire book. Sapphire suddenly tells him to be nice to Chessy, and he immediately blurts out his entire life story to her including his whole motivations, fears, and deepest feelings. He has not communicated any of those to anyone but Jonas, who has been his best friend and confidante for a long time. And he’s known his other followers for much longer than he has known Chessy.
Now, you said the scene was almost identical to the scene from the first draft, so I checked to see why the first draft didn’t jar me like this one did. It’s because Sapphire was there in the first draft. Sure, she wasn’t in the beginning, but she was there near the end. Justice doesn’t know her well either, but she played a huge role in his life, and he would be much more likely to open up to her than to Chessy. The big important part where he talks about Sapphire was spoken almost directly to Sapphire, because of the connection between them based on the story, and that makes perfect sense.
The fact that he was alone with Chessy is just stupid of him, and seems out of character as well. If you’re told someone has a crush on you, but you don’t feel the same way about them, shouldn’t it be obvious you shouldn’t get in a situation where you’re alone with them? 😛 In any case it could give them ideas that you do feel the same, and in cases like this one, apparently it can cause other problems. In the first draft it seemed like it happened by accident, but in the second it felt as though it were purposeful.
I actually do feel like he opened up a bit too much anyway, but at least with Sapphire there for part of the time it felt a bit more believable. 😉 I would think he’d tell Chessy his story later, when the battle and his wounds drew them closer together.
Okay, so there’s my rant. What do you think of my analyzation? I’m sorry that I’m describing the intents and purposes of your characters when they’re actually yours, so you know them better than I do. 😛
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
Okay, that makes sense. So I just looked at the outline I wrote last year before I started the novel and I noticed that things go in this order:
Justice and Chessy go out to the trenches with some other people who aren’t named. Chessy kisses Justice and he gets angry and she runs away. Then Sapphire and Jonas turn up and he tells his story to them. He mentions seeing Sapphire only to Sapphire and Jonas and Chessy is not present.
Do you think that order would work better and make more sense? Chessy doesn’t really need to know all of Justice’s backstory as it would probably make it more interesting in the second book.
The only problem I can see with this is that Chessy wouldn’t have her “hupocritcal” moment which prompts her to forgive Sapphire.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
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