Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › Stars Fill Infinity
- This topic has 158 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 1 month ago by SeekJustice.
-
AuthorPosts
-
February 2, 2018 at 2:13 pm #62125
My post keeps getting deleted. I hope it stays here this time 🙂 Sorry if it keeps sending you emails with the same post, but it just won’t show up on the forum.
@seekjustice For some reason I decided to write this today. It was originally supposed to be semi-funny like the quote I showed you last night, but it ended up – well, like it is. 🙂 It’s not the best poetry I’ve ever written, but I thought you might like to read it.
@jenwriter17 too, if you are interested.To Seekjustice
(On the reading of her book Stars Fill Infinity)
One by one your characters learn to love
One by one your characters learn to forgive
One by one they gather strength from above
And one by one you refuse to let them live
Step by step your characters fall in line
Step by step they grow toward strength and hope
Step by step I start to think they’ll be fine
And step by step I realize it’s useless to hope
Breath by breath your characters scream with pain
Breath by breath their friends surround them to cry
Breath by breath I sob when they are slain
For breath by breath, who fell in love with them? – I
Tear by tear I weep as you slaughter them all
Tear by tear I sit there, so helpless to aid
Tear by tear they depart when they hear heaven call
And tear by tear I know that their debt has been paid
One by one your characters learned to love
One by one your characters learned to forgive
One by one they die, and ascend to Above
And one by one I realize, up there, they still live
~Rochellaine
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
February 2, 2018 at 5:20 pm #62134@rochellaine Ah, just relived all those tearful scenes! *sniffs* Love the poem though. 🙂
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comFebruary 2, 2018 at 6:06 pm #62144Anonymous- Rank: Loyal Sidekick
- Total Posts: 155
@seekjustice I’m such a naughty beta reader… Here are some more answers to the questions. I get the rest of them done soon. Hopefully. *grins sheepishly*
Were there any parts you found confusing?
There was only one part that confused me a bit–the revolution itself. For most of the book, it seemed like the government was so big that the revolution happening anytime soon seemed nigh impossible. So when it just sorta happened, but with so few people, it was a bit confusing.
What did you think of Chessy’s pov?
I liked it. It was a really good combination of her inner monologue and narration.What did you think of Sapphire’s pov?
It was good, same points as Chessy’s POV. Also, you did a good job of making the two POVs distinct.Did you find any plot holes?
None that I can think of.Anything else to add?
Loved the bittersweet ending!!
February 2, 2018 at 8:04 pm #62159@rochellaine (I did get multiple emails, it was a bit confusing, but that’s okay!)
Oh thank you 🙂 That’s so sweet that you wrote a poem for me!
“And one by one you refuse to let them live” my poor characters. They never had a chance! 🙁
I really love it. I’m copying it into a word document and putting it in the Stars Fill Infinity folder.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
February 2, 2018 at 9:05 pm #62168@seekjustice I’m so glad you liked it!
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
February 2, 2018 at 10:02 pm #62184@jenwriter17 *hands you a handkerchief* Thank you! I feel so sorry for @seekjustice’s characters. I believe to be a character in Seekjustice’s book promises about as sure a death as to be a RedShirt on Star Trek, TOS. 🙂
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
February 2, 2018 at 10:17 pm #62188I don’t know what being a red-shirt in Star Trek means, but it doesn’t sound promising.
I feel that if I promised Chessy that I would never again kill anyone that she loved the conversation would proceed something like Jane Eyre’s conversation with Mr Rochester:
“Do you doubt me, Chessy?”
“Entirely.”
“You have no faith in me?”
“Not a whit.”
And I suppose that would only be fair, since I haven’t exactly proved myself very trustworthy.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
February 2, 2018 at 10:23 pm #62190@seekjustice I put a link to the Wikipedia article in my previous post. Redshirts on Star Trek became so famous that they became a trope. To be a redshirt means that you are brought onto the show for the sole purpose of dying. 🙂 Basically. Read the article Here.
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
February 2, 2018 at 10:26 pm #62191@seekjustice Haha! You should totally write author-character conversations and post/publish them along with your books.
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
February 2, 2018 at 10:33 pm #62195@rochellaine thanks for the handkerchief. I feel bad for the characters too. *dabs eyes* I can’t wait for the sequel though.
@seekjustice lol, that author-character conversation was funny!I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comFebruary 2, 2018 at 11:23 pm #62206Aha! I did not see that, I’ll go check it out. To be fair, they weren’t introduced solely for the purpose of dying! Well….no, no they weren’t! They did not die in vain.
….
“Come to my side, Chessy, and let us explain and understand each other.”
“I will never again come to your side: I am torn away now, and cannot return!”
“But, Chessy, I promise you! I will kill no more of your loved ones. I promise!”
“Come, Chessy, come hither.”
“The death of my sister and my best friend and everyone else you murdered stands between us.”
“I had to, for your own good and for the good of the plot. Will you forgive me?”
“Do you doubt me, Chessy?”
“Entirely!”
“You have no faith in me?”
“Not a whit.”
“Am I a liar in your eyes? Little sceptic, you shall be convinced! What love have I for murdering my children? None and that you know! I caused a rumour to reach my fangirls that I would callously murder Augustine Quillon, and after that I presented myself to see the result; it was coldness and fury from both of them. I would not–I could not–murder Quillon. You–you strange, you almost fictional thing!–I love you as a figment of my own imagination! I entreat you to understand, I will murder no more that you love.”
*accidently kills someone*
“Chessy, I did not mean to deceive you! Oh, this is very bitter…Return to me, Chessy!”
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
February 2, 2018 at 11:25 pm #62208@jenwriter17 I could probably write a whole short story of author conversations 😀
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
February 2, 2018 at 11:32 pm #62213@seekjustice That. Was. Epic.
*accidentally kills someone*
Hahaha!
Love it! And please do.
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
February 2, 2018 at 11:34 pm #62216@seekjustice that would be very interesting 🙂
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
www.jennaterese.comFebruary 3, 2018 at 12:15 am #62225Haha, 😀 Thank you *bows epicly*
I will do my best 😀
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.