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Of course I don’t mind! Do you feel like answering the questions I asked Jenwriter17? I could always do with another opinion!
(Thanks, you made me smile! I’m currently planning/outlining the sequel, and I’m so excited about it! This one is A Tale of Two cities retelling).
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
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*sneaks in* @seekjustice May I read it too? It’s been a while since I’ve read a good book. If you don’t want me to, though, that’s okay.
@seekjustice I actually read it all at once the night you posted it. (Took me until 3:00 am, though). So I had to go back and skim through it to remember the details. 🙂 But here are my thoughts.
Who was your favorite character? Why? I liked Rain, of course. She was cute. My favorite character personally might be Quillon, just because he’s so sweet, or maybe Jonas, but as far as well-written goes, I think Justice was done the best. I was very torn between wanting him to end up with Chessy because I thought he could use a good woman, and realizing that he probably wouldn’t be that good for Chessy, and it seemed to be more of a crush on her part. (Yes, I think by the end she definitely loved him.) I liked being able to see the softness break through his fierce and harsh demeanor, but I thought you did a really good job of not melting him all the way by the end. Many authors will completely change the character because he has to be all friendly and soft to resolve his storyline, but I think real people don’t change that drastically all at once, and it’s really more of a personality thing than an emotional issue. Anyway, I liked what you did with him.
What were some of your favourite scenes? Why? I am a hopeless romantic, so I liked both the scene where Quillon and his friends followed Sapphire home and rescued her from her old boyfriend and the scene where they talked about the stars. I liked the counselling scenes between Chessy and Jonas, and the ending scene where Justice tells her his real name.
Were there any scenes you thought were pointless or boring? It’s been several days since I read it, but I don’t recall ever being bored.
What did you think of the world-building? Was it clear and unique? What could I improve? I thought it was very well done in general. There were a couple of details that sounded a bit off, such as the fact that they wore leather tags. I think it was set a few years in the future, and leather tags for millions of people would be very expensive. Plastic or some other synthetic material would make more sense. Another thing that was confusing was that in the future, people probably wouldn’t have high enough morals to look down on Sapphire for prostitution. That is such an integral part of the story, and so well written, that I don’t know how it could be fixed while keeping the near perfectness of the story part, though. And it could make sense, anyway, because the upper classes could have twisted morals, where they pick and choose what they think is wrong and right.
Were there any parts you found confusing? Nothing to do with the storyline. Only a couple of strangely worded sentences which will probably be fixed in the second draft. 🙂
What did you think of Chessy’s pov? I thought it was well done. I felt like I got to know her. I don’t really know how to comment on this, except that I liked it.
What did you think of Sapphire’s pov? Again, it was well done. When the pov switched from Chessy to Sapphire I immediately felt the softer, slower, more mature character of the older sister. You did a good job making them similar, as sisters are, but different, because they are different people.
Did you find any plot holes? No. 🙂
Anything else to add? I thought it was amazing that you were able to mix the very tragic ending with hope after all. I usually hate tragedies, and prefer plots like “boy meets girl, boy rescues girl, they fall in love, and live happily ever after.” 🙂 But I was actually satisfied with the ending. Though my brain kept telling me that logically I shouldn’t be, my heart was smiling.
In the beginning when Sapphire first realized that Chessy hated her, I think other wording than “What had she done?” would have worked better. I think what Sapphire was trying to say was that she was horrified with how her actions had turned out, but at first I felt like she was saying ” why is Chessy mad at me? What did I ever do to her?”
The only other thing was I wasn’t completely happy with the theme that seemed to say all revolutions are bad. I agree that Justice didn’t do a very good job of organizing, and part of the reason he failed was he loved his country so much he didn’t have time for anything else. That was well done. However, I do think there is a place for revolutions. The American Revolution turned out very well with a government that has lasted over two hundred years – longer than any other government in history. The leaders of that revolution were mainly Christians and family men, who were fighting for family as well as country, and God. So, I would have liked a little more explanation of why the particular rebellion led by Justice turned out so badly, and how he could have done it better. I don’t know what your believe in regards to revolution, though. 🙂
Overall, as I said before, I LOVED the book, and would definitely like to read the sequel.
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@seekjustice I’d be happy to answer more questions!
I think Justice and Chessy should end up together, but considering Justice’s personality (even though he started opening up at the end of the book), I think it should probably take a while for their feelings to develop.
I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
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You definitely may read it! I’d love to hear your thoughts 😀
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
Thanks so much for answering those questions!
I like the point you raised about revolution. I don’t like war or fighting at all, but I would never call myself a pacifist. I believe there is a time and a place for war, and I believe that one of the reasons we should fight is to protect those who cannot protect themselves. at the heart of every revolution is that desire. I don’t think I was necessarily trying to show that revolutions were inherently bad–I don’t think that they. However, I think it’s important to note that you said:
The American Revolution turned out very well with a government that has lasted over two hundred years – longer than any other government in history. The leaders of that revolution were mainly Christians and family men, who were fighting for family as well as country, and God.
I wasn’t basing my revolution on America’s, I was basing it on the French June Rebellion of 1832, with influence from the French Revolution. My sequel is dealing with the theme of revolution much more in-depth, where I’m basing my novel on A Tale of Two Cities and drawing a lot of my inspiration from the real French Revolution. The French revolution was not based on God. In fact, about a year after the beginning of the revolution, belief in God was outlawed and thousands of the clergy were sent to the guillotine. There was a lot of mistrust and betrayal among the leaders of the revolution, they literally had each other murdered. There were food riots in Paris. The revolution which was supposed to help the people, ended up oppressing them even more. Thousands of completely innocent people were killed merely on suspicion, with no proof at all to their guilt.
I’m not at all saying that the situation in France before the revolution was good, because it wasn’t. the king was extremely disconnected from his people, he had too much power and didn’t take his responsibilities seriously. a revolution was the right thing, I think, but the way it was done was not at all right. The French Revolution went from seeking justice to executing vengeance. God tells us to seek justice or to do what is just (in Micah 6:8, I believe), but he clearly says in Romans 12: 19-20 “Vengeance is mine…”
When Robespierre, the leader of the French Revolution, went from desiring justice for the people he loved, to desiring vengeance and ultimately destroying a country, he was putting himself in the place of God. And I think that is the problem with almost all revolutions. However, the American Revolution was built, founded on God and His Word, and so I hope they didn’t go that route, and maybe that explains why they have had such a successful government, while the French Republic fell twenty six (or something like that) years after the revolution, and went back to exactly the way it was before.
I also believe that violence should always be our last resort. Many things can be sorted out peacefully, and we should always attempt to do so first of all. Konrad Adenauer was the first chancellor of the German Republic (the first leader of Germany after Adolf Hitler), and he helped massively healing relationships between Germany and the Allies, especially France. He was a Christian and very firm in his beliefs. However, he was willing to fight if he thought it necessary and he was not willing to compromise his beliefs. But he always sought peace first, since he had seen Germany both through WW1 and WW2. He was an important figure after the war, when the whole world was in shambles, because of his dedication to healing and reconciliation.
Basically, a revolution can never be successful without God’s blessing, and it will always, ultimately, turn into vengeance rather than justice. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I’m exploring my thoughts on this matter as I outline.
What are your thoughts? I’m really interested in what you think, because I always see it as important to know both sides of an issue.
Sorry this got so long and rambly too!
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice I actually agree with basically everything you said. I know your book is based on the French Revolution/Rebellion and I agree that as such they should not have succeeded in what they were doing. Apparently I didn’t make that part of my review very clear. 🙂 What I was trying to say was that I would have liked a little more explanation of why Justice’s rebellion did not work, and what he could have done better to make it a good revolution, and blessed by God. I could analyze it in my head, and figure out what Justice did wrong, but the rights and wrongs of revolutions weren’t very clearly put down in the book.
The reason I mentioned the American Revolution was just as an example of a good revolution, and that some revolutions can be well done. I was also contrasting it with Justice’s performance, which is why I mentioned that the Founders were family men. They fought for God first, family next, and country afterward. Justice put his country so far forward that he forgot how important family is, and almost forgot about God. (I never could figure out whether he believed in God or not. 🙂 ) So he should have failed, as he did. Maybe there could be an explanation by Chessy’s father, or Chessy herself about what he could have done better. It just seemed to me like you made everything happen so badly for Justice, and in the end he kept saying “I can’t believe I did this to all these people” or something to that effect, that it sent a message that all revolutions are bad, period.
Does that make sense? Is that what you meant?
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@seekjustice You mentioned Scriptures explaining both sides of the question. My favorite verse dealing with the subject is something I read when I was reading about the Scottish Covenanters. (Have you heard of them? They were amazing!) Someone asked a Covenanter how he could line up violence with Scripture, and he used the verse in Romans 12, saying “The Bible says to be at peace with all men – as much as lieth in you. Well, mon, it dinna lie in us to be at peace anymore.” 🙂
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
Okay, I’m sorry that I misinterpreted you! I’m glad we’re in agreement on this. I’ll attempt to explain it all better as I revise it. And yes, I definitely tried to portray Justice as unhealthily obsessed with his country (at this point, he doesn’t believe in God, no).
Yes, that all made sense! And no, I don’t believe that all revolutions are bad, like everything, it depends on the people who incite it, their beliefs and intentions and whether or not they are relying on God.
Thanks for talking with me about this, I definitely appreciate it!
(Oh yes, I’ve read a bit about the Covenanters! I like the quote too, with the Scottish accent and everything! Peace cannot do everything, and sometimes war is necessary.)
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
@seekjustice I love reading a Scottish accent! 🙂
You said your sequel will be based on A Tale of Two Cities? Doesn’t everyone die in the end of that one, too?
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
Its fun, isn’t it? I like talking in an Irish accent 🙂
Funnily enough, only one main character (and the antagonist) die.
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
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@seekjustice *applauds* This is some excellent work! Especially with the theme. I finished it last night, but I’ll try to get the questions answered sometime today.
@seekjustice “Only One main character dies!” I might be able to handle that. At the end of Stars Fill Infinity I totally agreed with Chess that I couldn’t take it anymore! 🙂 By the time you finish the sequel I will probably have healed from the trauma of watching all those characters die.
But seriously, though I usually do feel like that when so many characters die, you handled it so well that I actually didn’t mind. Sort of like I don’t like Romeo and Juliet but I like West Side Story because in the latter the Romeo character dies, but the Juliet character doesn’t and she makes everyone understand how stupid they were to feud in the first place, so it ends on a very sad, but hopeful note. I don’t know how you were able to do it, but I wasn’t all in despair at the end of your book even though the greater amount of known characters died. That was really good. I’m going to say that again: You did a really good job with it! 🙂
Irish is lovely! I’m not very good at talking in accents. I can sing several different accents, though. 🙂 And I sing about as much as I talk, so it might actually count – do you think?
"Sylvester - Sylvester!"
@waterlily
Oh thank you! I’m so happy that you enjoyed it!
Thank you, that means so much to me 🙂 I did my absolute best to make the ending hopeful and not too depressing because I hate depressing books (I don’t like Romeo and Juliet either. It’s overly melodramatic and depressing in my view)
I sing a lot too. I mean why talk when you can sing???
INFP Queen of the Kingdom commander of an army of origami cranes and a sabre from Babylon.
- Rank: Loyal Sidekick
- Total Posts: 155
@seekjustice I’m glad that I liked it, but also a little surprised. When I saw Rogue One (traumatizing), I decided it was an awful movie simply because all of the characters died and I had to watch them all get picked off. But it worked with your book. I don’t think it would’ve worked otherwise.
Okay, hopefully I’ll get to the questions tomorrow. School took over today.
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