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Open Eyes
~*~
Amos wiped sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. He pressed against the wall of the synagogue, the stone cooling his hot skin. The voice of the priest droned on through the windows. “But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel, whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days.”
That wasn’t the first time Amos had heard those words…or dared to hope they were true. Everything inside of him hoped that the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem, his home town, but the logical part of his mind told him it was impossible. The Messiah would be a conqueror, a king that would overthrow the Romans who subdued Israel within their iron grip. Amos knew a man like that would not even have a chance of being born in a small town like Bethlehem. If he would be born. It wouldn’t have surprised him if God had truly abandoned His people.
Amos redirected his thoughts back to the voice of the priest. “And he shall stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth.”
This was the part that always tugged on his heart, made him hope just a little more that maybe God hadn’t actually abandoned them. As a shepherd himself, Amos knew the care and attention that the shepherd had to pay to his sheep in order to keep them safe and taken care of. The picture of the coming Messiah as a shepherd seemed so wrong in Amos’s mind, but it brought his heart so much more peace than the picture of a wealthy king marching across the land.
Amos sighed, tuning out the rest of what the priest had to say. Caesar Augustus had declared that every man return to his hometown for a census. While Amos liked being in his hometown of Bethlehem, it didn’t quite feel like home anymore. He knew he wouldn’t get a chance to visit his family.
When Amos was born, his family didn’t have anything close to a house to even call their home. In fact, they had been traveling when it was time for his mother to give birth and he had been born in a stable, a fact he wasn’t proud of. His abba had tried to learn different professions, but if he found someone willing to teach him, Abba never managed to learn it well enough to make money to provide for his family. When Amos was ten, in desperation his abba turned to the only other occupation left that could bring in enough income for their ever-growing family—divination.
Abba kept it a secret from their acquaintances for a while, and he was able to make enough money for his large family. Amos had never liked what Abba did, but every time Amos expressed doubt, Abba reassured him that this sin was alright since it kept them sheltered, clothed, and fed. Amos wanted to tell someone, to let someone know so they could maybe help his abba. Fear kept him from acting upon his desires. Until he found himself talking with a friend, and finally let the truth be known. It was an accident, but as soon as it was out of his mouth, Amos didn’t regret it.
If only he could have known the repercussions that simple act would have had. Their family was shunned, and Abba went into hiding, leaving his shamed family to provide for themselves. They were once again plunged into poverty. Never once was Abba blamed; his family looked up Amos with contempt for revealing their secret.
As the eldest son, Amos struggled to find jobs that would make enough money for his struggling family. They only despised him more for being unable to provide. No longer able to bear the humiliation, he left the job of taking care of the family to his younger brother and escaped home to become a nomadic shepherd. He hated being shunned for his abba’s bad choices and forced to take the consequences. After trying and failing to keep his family together, he found being a shepherd brought some level of peace—at least the sheep didn’t degrade him for making mistakes.
The patter of small, quick footsteps made him tense up. His breath slowly released as Samson, his shaggy mutt of a dog, came cantering up to him, his drooling tongue lolling out of his mouth. He couldn’t help but crack a half smile as he motioned for Samson to sit beside him.
Samson reluctantly sat next to him, his tail anxiously sweeping the ground, sending up little puffs of dirt. Amos pressed Samson’s head to his side—he’d be in enough trouble being near the synagogue to begin with, but with a dog? He’d be in more trouble than he would like to imagine.
Samson didn’t seem to care. He wriggled out of Amos’s grasp, letting out a playful bark and bowing, asking for a good wrestle. Amos lunged for Samson, trying to silence him, but it only earned him another bark. He managed to grab Samson around the neck as the priest inside the synagogue faltered in his reading for just a moment.
Amos held Samson tight until he was sure that nobody inside had noticed. He glared at his dog, hoping he understood the message to sit still and behave. Samson let out a soft whimper and lay down at Amos’s feet. Amos reached down to pet him.
“Hey!”
His gaze shot up.
“What are you doing here?” The scribe scowled. “You are not allowed to be here! Out! OUT!” He shooed Amos away, turning as if he could guard against Amos’s uncleanliness. Samson skittered away as Amos slowly stood, not breaking eye contact with the scribe.
“I said get out! You will defile the house of the Lord!”
A snappy reply making fun of all the rules the people had to follow hung on the tip of Amos’s tongue, but he withheld. It would only make the situation worse. Instead, he turned on his heel, leaving the scribe muttering under his breath about “those unclean shepherds.”
He hurried to the marketplace, the shortest route to get to his fields on the outskirts of town, Samson close on his heels. He liked it in the marketplace. It was bustling, crowded, loud, dirty… nobody would notice him here and degrade him for who he was.
Besides, what did he care about what they thought? It wasn’t his fault his abba had turned to sin to provide for his family. If it was up to Amos, he would have rather lived a life of poverty than of shame. At least Amos had no regrets in the path of life he had chosen. He worked with good men who helped him shepherd the flocks as they traveled around Galilee, looking for good places to pasture the sheep. People always needed more shepherds to take care of their sheep, so he’d always have a job. And it was a job he would have for the rest of his life. Whenever he dwelled on that thought too long, it brought him into a dark place in his heart. A place where he stored all his doubts and crushed dreams. Right now, he didn’t want to go there.
The sounds of the marketplace faded as Amos walked farther into the field, spotting Caleb and Jesse watching the flocks. He paused an arrow’s shot away from where they sat. Maybe he could sneak back to the synagogue to hear just a little more from the scrolls. Surely he could find a better hiding spot from those—
“Amos, did you hear me?”
He snapped out of his thoughts and looked up at Caleb, who suddenly stood before him. “Yes, sorry.”
“What did I say?”
He opened and closed his mouth, trying to come up with something that would pass.
Caleb shook his head, a small smile peeking through what was supposed to be a disapproving look. “How was synagogue?”
“How’d you know I was there?”
“Oh, I don’t know, you kept mentioning it on the way to town.” Caleb twirled his staff.
Amos held back a laugh. “What are you talking about?”
“By the way, we discussed it while you were gone and decided that you are the first one on watch tonight.”
Amos groaned. “Why? You know I hate that.”
“Exactly.”
“You know, I was going to offer to watch the sheep now so you and Jesse can go take a break but—”
“Fine, fine, I will take the first shift tonight.”
Amos flashed a confident smirk. “That’s what I thought. But seriously, you and Jesse go take a break in town. I’ll keep an eye on the sheep for a little bit.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
Caleb sighed. “Alright, if you are certain. But be careful. The other shepherds have been seeing wolves around their flocks in this area. Keep an eye out.”
He nodded, plopping onto the ground beside his favorite sheep. “You’re not scared of wolves, are you?” he said to the sheep once Caleb was out of earshot. He laughed to himself. “I’m going crazy. I’m talking to a sheep now.” But so was the life of a shepherd, he supposed. Anyone in their right mind would go crazy if their whole life was spent with sheep—or in his case, talking to sheep.
He determined he wouldn’t go crazy. At least not yet. He was barely two decades old and still had many years of shepherding left. Besides, these were well-behaved sheep—it wasn’t like keeping track of little children, which could easily drive anyone crazy. So he lay down in the grass and let the warm sun drift him off to sleep.
~*~
Craig Donovan pulled his thin winter coat tighter around himself, grinding his teeth against the sharp breeze. He pounded his feet, breaking the ice beneath his shoes. A small piece found the minuscule hole in the sole of his left shoe. The ice piece slowly melted, a cold pinprick against his warm skin.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he muttered with a clenched jaw, fumbling with the lock on the front door. His numb fingers could barely feel the key as he tried to shove it into the keyhole. With one more harsh word muttered under his breath, he succeeded and threw the door open with a heavy breath. A rush of warm air overtook him as he shut the last blast of cold out with a slam of the door behind him. At least he could still afford heating. And he’d have to… he couldn’t imagine his little children shivering in bed… clustered together to stay warm…
He shook the thought off as he pounded the snow off his boots. He took off his coat and boots, leaving them by the front door. After entering the tiny kitchen, he scavenged around in the cabinets, trying to find something substantial for dinner. This was the emptiest he had ever seen the kitchen. He had no idea how they were going to even manage a Christmas dinner next week. He had collected little presents for Ezra, Austin, and Jolie over the past couple of months, but it was nothing compared to what it was like a few years ago.
Once the soup he had found in the basement had been simmering for a few minutes, the door burst open, followed by the sound of arguing voices.
“Hey, hey, hey!” Craig said over the argument.
All three of his children turned to look at him.
“Hi, Daddy!” Six year-old Jolie threw her arms around him. “They’re arguing ‘gain.”
“I know, sweetheart.” He gathered her up in his arms, planting a kiss on her forehead.
“Not anymore,” Austin defended, throwing his backpack onto the couch. “Right, Ezra?”
Ezra shot him a glare.
Austin looked up with a cheesy grin. “Told ya, Dad. Everything’s fine. Now what’s for dinner?” He ran into the kitchen with Jolie on his heels.
“Good thing we have dinner,” Ezra mumbled under his breath.
“What’s that?”
“Nothing.”
Craig cocked an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, ‘m fine.” He threw his coat onto his backpack which sat on the ground. Curling up on the couch, he buried his face in a book, clearly wanting to avoid conversation.
Craig slowly approached him. “You sure?”
When Ezra finally looked up, tears clouded his eyes. “I’m tired of Christmas.”
Craig’s words caught in his throat. That was exactly how he felt in this moment. He swallowed and searched Ezra’s blue eyes. “Why?”
His son took a shaky breath. “Everyone’s so happy, hanging out with their family and eating… all the time. They keep talking about what presents they want… I want the same things, but I’ve been afraid to ask for them since we can barely afford anything anymore.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “I wish we could be like everybody else.”
Tears welled up in Craig’s eyes. He had no idea how to comfort Ezra when he had been feeling the same things. He sat beside his son and pulled him close in a tight hug. “I know…”
Ezra’s body shook with gentle tears as he gripped on to his father. After a moment or two, his muffled voice said, “I just wish we could go back two years.”
More tears escaped Craig’s eyes and it took everything in him to hold back the sobs that threatened to escape. “Me too…” His voice was weak, and thick with emotion, but he didn’t care. It was true—he wanted so badly for things to go back to normal. But he had to come to terms with the fact that this was their new normal—Kelly was gone and so was his job. They would just have to figure out how to press on.
Craig was about ready to give up. He had tried to keep up a confident facade for his kids, who missed Kelly as much as he did, but it had slowly broken down. He had been without a job for a year, and somehow they had managed to scrape by, but the little funds he had left were running out. He couldn’t find a steady job that would bring in enough income to provide for his family.
Not only had money escaped him, but God had left him too. God had let Kelly go, and with her, His care for Craig. Ever since Kelly had died, things hadn’t been the same. Craig had given up on God. Why believe in someone Who was too high and lofty to bend down and care for him and his family when they needed it most? He had abandoned Craig those two years ago, when Kelly lay in that hospital bed, and He had abandoned him almost a year ago, when he had been laid off.
It was too much.
He would figure out a way to get by without God’s help… And so far it had been working. It was his job to take care of his kids. They were all they had left. And he wouldn’t let them down.
Craig slowly let go of Ezra, after his soft crying had subsided. “We’re still gonna have a great Christmas, okay? I promise.”
Ezra wiped away his tears and managed a wobbly smile. “‘Kay.”
Craig gave him a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and went to check on dinner in the kitchen. He couldn’t help but sigh as the four of them sat down at the kitchen table to eat. There was one empty chair… next to Craig… That was where Kelly always sat. Craig shoved the grief deeper into his heart, where he didn’t have to hear it whispering in his ear and evoking more tears. Why linger on what might have been? He had to focus on the future. God didn’t do anything then and He wasn’t about to do anything for them now. It was all on Craig’s shoulders, and he wasn’t going to fail.
~*~
Amos awoke with a start. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, unsure of what had awoken him. He looked around at the empty field. Where are… THE SHEEP!
He shot up from the ground, completely awake now. No, no, no, no, NO! He couldn’t have lost the sheep. But as far as he could see, not one sheep was in sight. Caleb and Jesse would kill him for this!—but only if the owner of the flocks didn’t get to him first. His stomach knotted as he ran as fast as he could across the field. He could only hope the sheep were on the other side of the hill.
His lungs burned as he flew, the long grass scraping his legs. He didn’t care. Finding those sheep was the only thing that blared through his mind. Skidding to a halt at the edge of the hill, Amos peered across the valley, a green velvet-covered lowland. His breath returned to a normal pace when he saw white puffs scattered across the low field. The sheep were—
NOT SAFE!
Three wolves crept around the edge of the flock, hidden in the overgrowth. Amos instinctively clenched his fist, expecting his staff, but his fingers didn’t come in contact with the worn familiar wood.
One more mistake on his record—he had forgotten his staff too.
He ran down the hill as fast as he could without tripping over himself, yelling and waving his arms all the way down. Some of the wolves perked up to look at him, but he was still too far away for them to care. He wouldn’t make it across the low field in time. His legs gave out halfway down the hill. He collapsed to his knees, his voice scratchy in an effort to keep yelling and scare away the wolves.
He bent over, wheezing and gasping for breath. The dry grass scratched his hands as he bent down to crawl the rest of the way down the hill, unable to continue running. The wolves closed in on the flock. Everything in him cried out, willing the wolves to stop, but his words stuck in his dry throat. Tears sprung to his eyes as he let out one last raspy scream as the wolves pounced.
No, no, NO!
Amos pushed himself to his feet, stumbling closer. Tears blurred his vision as the wolves caught four of the best sheep.
Failure… failure… failure…
The word pulsed through his mind with every heartbeat.
With all the strength left in him, he pushed onward, managing a few more yells and waves of his arms. The wolves saw him, but continued to tear into the unlucky sheep. The rest of the flock had run away, but it didn’t matter anymore.
The harsh sun beat down on his back. Sweat dripped down his face, mingling with the tears that started to escape. He wiped them away. He had failed and it was time he owned up to it. No tears. He was a man, not a baby who didn’t know how to handle himself. Amos didn’t know how long it took him to finally reach where the flock had been. The wolves were long gone, dragging their prey into the undergrowth along the field.
He dropped to his knees once more, calling the sheep over. All of them willfully obeyed. He crawled to where the sheep’s blood stained the grass.
Shameful…. Shameful… shameful…
No wonder God didn’t care about him. He knew he’d be a failure since the moment of his birth. And Amos had only helped prove it. He swallowed the choke in his throat and collapsed on his back into the cool grass, his breathing finally slowing down. It was over. And he was the only one who was going to pay for this monstrous failure.
~*~
Craig threw the bill on the table. He dropped his forehead into his hands and buried his fingers in his hair. How could anyone be so cruel the week of Christmas? He had two overdue bills to pay before the evening of the 26th. It was either don’t pay the bills and lose electricity and heating, or pay the bills and not have dinner for the next two nights.
He hated both of the options.
“Daddy?”
Craig startled at the sound of Jolie’s voice. “Why aren’t you in bed?” he whispered.
She pattered over to him in her sparkly kitty slippers and jumped into his lap. “I was cold. I couldn’t sleep.”
Craig’s gaze flitted over to the unpaid bills.
“What’s that?” She grabbed the closest bill, holding it close to her face in an attempt to read it.
He gently pulled it from her hands. “Jolie, you need to go back to bed.”
She studied his face for a moment, her brown eyes sparkling in the dim kitchen light. “You look sad.”
He tried to erase any indication of it from his face. “Why do you say that?”
She traced her little finger across his forehead. “You always get this line on your head when you’re sad.” She demonstrated his expression with her own face.
Craig couldn’t help but smile a little. Had he been that obvious? “I’m okay, sweetheart. Come on.” He stood, lifting her with him. “Let’s go back to bed.”
Jolie buried her face in his shoulder as he walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. He gently laid her in her bed, pulling the covers over her. She smiled up at him. “Good night, Daddy. Don’t be worried anymore. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Craig gave her a sad smile and slowly closed her bedroom door behind him. As he sat back down at the kitchen table, he couldn’t help but let out a heavy sigh. Jolie had tried, but nothing would dispel the anxiety that plagued his heart. He had to choose the lesser of two evils in this situation. He was tired of taking out loans he knew he’d never pay back and racking up debt that would stick with him the rest of his life.
The church was having a potluck tomorrow afternoon—that took care of one meal—and maybe they could take home some of the leftovers—that took care of the meals for the next day. He’d just have to find a way to get to the church. He’d been avoiding it for at least a year now, telling himself that it was because he was trying to save money by conserving gas. But a little whisper inside his mind called him a coward for avoiding it because he was too scared to be around people whom God hadn’t abandoned. People who still loved God because God loved them. People who constantly talked about trusting God during difficult times when they lived in a fully heated home, never having to worry about finances or what they were going to eat for dinner the next night.
Craig hadn’t noticed he was clenching his jaw. He leaned back in his chair, letting his muscles relax. The green clock on the microwave told him it was past midnight. He had to be up by five to get to work on time.
Work… work that didn’t pay him nearly enough to keep his little family warm and well-fed.
But then there was church… He could go to the morning service, just for the potluck afterwards. Maybe it would be different this time. After all, it was the Sunday before Christmas. Kelly always loved the Christmas services the best…
Craig shook the painful memories away before he could delve too deep into the emotions that swirled in the dark depths of his heart. No church tomorrow morning. Only work. Because at least work would give him something to help his family. Church had done nothing for him. God had done nothing for him. And he expected nothing more this time.
Craig woke to the sound of his beeping alarm clock. He rolled over in bed, flopping his hand on top of his clock, silencing the blaring. With a groan, he pulled himself out of bed, the cold floor sending icicles through his skin as his feet hit the ground.
It didn’t take him long to get ready. This morning he was working on a building project with a friend who had offered part-time employment. For the past year Craig had been doing odd jobs like these, earning just enough money to keep his family going.
He allowed himself a cup of coffee this morning to combat the icy chill that permeated the house. It had snowed more overnight and the salt trucks hadn’t hit their neighborhood yet. Craig stood by the window, the steam from his coffee fogging up the glass pane. Kelly had always loved untouched snow.
Within the next ten minutes, Craig was bundled up and ready to go. He smacked his gloved hands together as he slid into his beat-up car, trying to warm them. After some fumbling with the key fob, he got it turned into the ignition, expecting the familiar sputtering of the engine. A faint hiss met his ears. He turned the key again, harder this time. Only a cough of smoke from the hood.
Craig muttered under his breath as he forced himself out of the car to lift the hood. A cloud of smoke met his face as he opened it. He waved it away, studying the organs of the car. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.
But after half an hour of failed attempts at starting his car, he gave up with a kick to the tire. It had finally died on him. And just when he needed it too! How was he going to afford anything close to Christmas dinner if he didn’t get his paycheck today?
The garage door that connected to the kitchen slowly opened. “Dad?”
“What?”
Ezra frowned. “I thought you had already left.”
“Well I’m not leaving now.” He slammed the hood shut, stomping into the house. Ezra timidly followed him.
“Did the car not start?”
Craig gave him a what-do-you-think look and threw his gloves on the table. Ezra slid into the seat across from him. He understood.
Craig gave a defeated sigh, trying to distract himself from the worry that again tugged at his heart. “What are you doing up so early?” It was just past six.
“I heard you in the garage.”
Before Craig could reply, his phone buzzed inside his pocket. He frowned at the name that popped up on the screen. What was Ethan doing calling him this early in the morning? He answered with a grunt. “What?”
“Craig?” His voice carried a tone of surprise, as if he wasn’t certain Craig would have picked up.
“Yes, obviously. What do you want?”
“Oh.” He cleared his throat. “What do you think about coming to church with me and my family today?”
No. Not when he had decided against it last night. “I’ve got work.”
A pause for a moment. “I thought…”
“You really think I’ve lived on unemployment insurance this past year?”
“No, it’s just—”
Craig didn’t want an apology. “Look, Ethan, I know you’re trying to…I don’t know, help? But just forget it, okay?”
Another moment of silence. “Craig, just…” Ethan sighed. “Just come to church today. Please?”
“Why do you care so much?”
“Because I care about you. And your kids. And I cared about Kelly too. She’d want you to come—”
“Don’t bring Kelly into this,” he snapped. Ezra looked up. Craig softened his tone. “I just… I don’t exactly like going to church anymore. It does nothing except remind me of her.”
Ethan sighed. “I understand, but that’s not the point. I want it to remind you of… Him.”
Craig gripped the phone tighter as emotion welled up inside of him, his heartbeat picking up. That’s what Kelly said all the time. She’d find the most random things and say why they reminded her of God. In this case, Ethan was referring to the most obvious thing that would remind Craig of God—the church. But Craig couldn’t handle it. He didn’t want to be reminded of the one Who had betrayed him.
“No, Ethan, I’m sorry.” He hung up before Ethan could try to convince him any further. He put his phone down on the table with a sigh.
“Who was it?” Ezra asked carefully.
“Ethan.”
“About what?”
Craig worked his jaw for a moment. “He wanted us to come to church. But I said no.” He stood. “So no trying to change my mind.” He opened the fridge, hoping Ezra wouldn’t hang on the subject.
Ezra followed him around as he roamed the kitchen, not even knowing what he was looking for. “I think we should go.”
Craig paused, looking down at his son. “W…why?”
“I miss going.”
It was a simple answer that Craig knew held so much more depth than just the surface of those words. “But we have no car.” He shrugged.
But Ezra didn’t find that a good enough reason. He copied his father’s shrug. “Ethan could give us a ride.”
Craig hated how true that statement was. Except getting a ride from him would force him to swallow his pride and call him again. “We… we’ll see if we can start the car first.”
Ezra’s eyes lit up. “So we’re going?”
Craig didn’t know what had possessed him to agree to this, but he nodded. “Yeah.”
~*~
Amos licked his lips, daring to look up at his fellow shepherds. The setting sun doused the field in gold, only helping to illuminate the place of Amos’s failure. Surely he would receive the greatest scolding he had ever experienced for letting the wolves get not one, not two, but four sheep out of the flock.
Neither Caleb or Jesse had said anything the whole time Amos was telling his story. Their expressions had only followed along, their eyes growing darker and darker. Amos would have preferred a long-winded lecture from these more-experienced shepherds, even a lot of yelling, over the heavy silence that hung over them as the two just stood there, staring at the spot where the sheep had been lost.
“Well?” Amos’s voice wavered. He was on the brink of tears again.
“I have nothing to say.” Caleb crossed his arms.
Amos wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or horrified. “What do you mean?”
“You know you have failed. And you know the consequences.”
Yeah, he knew them. They’d have to buy four new sheep for the man who had owned them. It would be no cheap purchase, greatly denting their income and savings.
Jesse ran his fingers through his dark curls, surveying the field with a deep sigh. “Amos…” He shook his head and slowly started back up the hill. Caleb sighed, giving Amos a sympathetic look, and followed Jesse up the hill.
Amos hung his head, holding back tears. He was a grown man. Why was this failure bothering him so much? He should just be able to pay the price and get over it. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead on them. Stupid, stupid, STUPID. He scolded himself over and over, as if that would make him feel better. It only made him feel worse, but he didn’t care. He deserved to feel guilty anyway.
Just like when he let the secret of his abba’s profession slip. He was the cause of their shame. It could have been avoided if he had only kept his mouth shut. He couldn’t bear the shame, knowing that he was now the reason they had to live like they did. He knew what his abba had done was sinful, and he had hoped making the secret known would save Abba. It had only made things worse…
But now he had wrecked everything again. He wasn’t worthy of anyone’s time, money, or love. Maybe this was why God didn’t send His Messiah to save Israel. Maybe there were too many people like him in the nation, making them unfit to be rescued.
That thought had occurred to Amos multiple times before—God had abandoned him because he was a failure. But not until now did Amos believe it so fully.
~*~
Craig felt out of place here. His gaze roamed the room, looking over all the faces that watched the pastor intently, nodding along with the sermon. Those same faces had held so much joy when singing to the Lord only twenty minutes ago. But it was easy for them. They didn’t have much to worry about.
The longer the pastor talked about God’s love by sending His Son down to earth to save them, the more Craig shifted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable. Saying God loved everybody was easy for the pastor to say. He didn’t have much to worry about.
The longer he saw Ethan and his wife sit together during the service, the more he felt that deep longing to have Kelly’s hand once again resting inside his own. Craig had always thought of Ethan as a joyful guy, but it was easy for him to be happy all the time. His family was perfect. He didn’t have much to worry about.
And then there was himself. Throughout the whole service he kept questioning why he was here when he could have been at work. Maybe if he waited a little longer his car would have started. He could have called the mechanic, gotten it fixed, and showed up to work only an hour or two late. At least he’d be making some money. But here he sat, listening to a religious goody-two-shoes talk about God’s love and care for His people when Craig hadn’t seen any proof of God’s love over the past two years. He had too much to worry about.
Craig tried as hard as he could to tune out the sermon, to ignore the beauty of the voices of the church rising to praise their King, to block out the smiling faces that had greeted him when they had arrived. But nothing had worked. Since the moment he stepped foot in this building, he had been constantly reminded of Kelly and how God had been cruel enough to let her go. Maybe what the pastor was saying was true for him and the rest of the congregation, but it wasn’t true for Craig. It never would be.
He let out a long sigh when the pastor finally finished his sermon and dismissed them with a benediction.
“Well, Craig?” Ethan watched him with an expectant look in his eyes.
Craig shrugged. “What?”
“What’d you think?”
“It was church, Ethan.” He pushed past him to go pick up his kids, Ezra on his heels. As soon as Aiden and Jolie were called by the children’s worker, they were pushing papers and crafts in his face, babbling on and on about what they learned about and what game they played during the service. Craig nodded along, trying to direct them towards the exit. He gave the lady at the desk a polite smile and weaved through the mingling groups of people in the lobby.
He had almost made it to the door when he heard his name being called. Instead of turning back to answer Ethan, he kept going, hoping Ethan would give up, thinking Craig hadn’t heard him. With one foot inside and one foot outside, Craig was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.
“Craig, wait.”
Craig slowly turned around. “What is it?” Because if Ethan was inviting him to the after-service potluck, he didn’t care anymore. He couldn’t stand being around these people any longer. His family would find a way to do without free food.
“You can’t leave yet.”
“Ethan—”
“I’m your ride, remember?” He sheepishly half-smiled.
Craig groaned inwardly. Right.
“And I happen to be staying for the potluck.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, clearly proud of his supposedly sneaky plan.
Craig flashed him a pained smile. “Clever. Real clever.”
Ethan’s smile faltered.
“Yes, we’ll stay. If we have to.” He rolled his eyes.
Ethan grinned. “Perfect.”
Craig had to admit that he didn’t regret staying after he tasted the food everyone had brought. His family hadn’t had a home-cooked meal as good as this in a long time. As he ate with his kids, multiple people approached them, overjoyed to see them again and asking how they were doing. Craig was sure to keep the conversation short and the information limited. Nobody needed to know about his financial state.
But somehow they could tell. Because after a long two hours of Ethan jabbering with what must have been every single person in the room, Craig’s family was given loads of leftovers from those who had brought the food. It would definitely last more than two days. He swallowed to hold back the choke in his throat as one of the older women looked him in the eye and said, “God always comes through, Craig. He’s been coming through, you just haven’t noticed it yet.”
With their feast in tow, the Donovans along with Ethan’s family loaded up into the van. The drive home was quiet, but Craig’s thoughts were blaring loud. He had purposely closed his heart off the whole time they had been at church, but something about that older lady and what she had said had softened his heart just a little bit. And Craig wasn’t sure if he liked how vulnerable that made him feel.
Ethan walked Craig and his kids to their front door, looking like he wanted to say something. Craig waited an extra second before going inside.
“Craig?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you busy Christmas Eve?”
He bit back a sarcastic answer. “No, why?”
“The church is serving meals at a local food bank. I was wondering if you and your kids wanted to come along.”
Craig scoffed at the idea. Why would he go there when he was only a few absent paychecks short of going there for meals himself? “No, Ethan, I can’t.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, it’s just… not a good idea.”
Ethan bit down on his lower lip for a second. “Please? I really think you should go.”
“Why?”
“Because Kelly was the one who started this tradition all those years ago and I think everyone would really like to see you back there.”
For a tense moment, Craig just stared at Ethan, who shifted uncomfortably beneath his gaze. All of Craig’s logic told him it was a stupid idea to show up. But something in his heart told him that it was what Kelly would want him to do. She had been so disappointed about not going two years ago because her cancer kept her from going out very often. Even though the church went three times a year, Craig had always found a reason to skip it every time. It would bring back happy memories that hurt so much.
Yet Kelly’s voice in the back of his mind urged him to go, despite his doubts. He swallowed before answering. “Fine. I’ll go.” He turned into the house and shut the door before Ethan’s excitement gave him a chance to change his mind.
~*~
Amos felt awkward that night as the three of them sat in silence in the field, the crickets’ song filling in the quiet. He knew Jesse and Caleb were disappointed in him. And they had every right to be. Just like Abba and Ima had been that long time ago. And probably just like God felt after seeing him fail time and time again.
Amos’s life reminded him of the people of Israel and their series of captivities. He was more alike to them than he had first realized. Just like them, he failed again and again. But unlike them, God didn’t send someone to save him. And even if God did decide to look down on His people with mercy once more, the Messiah wouldn’t bother saving him, a failure of a shepherd, a failure of a man. He would save those who truly deserved it. Most everyone but him.
Caleb and Jesse had assured him that they’d do the first two night watches. Which meant they probably would not wake him up and let him watch the sheep tonight. Right now, Amos didn’t care. He felt so exhausted and let himself drift off to sleep with the nightly chorus playing around him.
Amos woke with a start to a bright light forcing his tired eyes open. He groped around for his staff, making sure the sheep were still with him. He squinted in the pure white light shining from the sky. He rose, stumbling to where Caleb and Jesse stood frozen, their eyes fixed to the sky.
“What’s going—” His words stuck in his throat as his sleepy vision finally corrected. The blinding light shone from… an angel? He widened his eyes, his heart pounding faster and faster. He had no words to describe the being that stood before him, but he knew without a doubt that it was an angel.
Am I dead? He clenched his fist, his nails digging into his flesh. No, not dead… Am I being judged? What did I do?
His mouth went dry, his heart pounding in his throat. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the glorious being that stood a mere stone’s throw away. Squinting through the light, he could just barely make out the face of a man. His staff slipped from his sweaty, shaking palm. His mind screamed for him to run, to get as far away as he could from this creature that could easily end his life, but his feet planted themselves in the dew-soaked grass.
Then it spoke.
“Fear not.”
He took a shaky deep breath, unable to tear his eyes away from the being before him. The angel’s voice sounded like a man’s, but carried so much more power and authority with it, so much more…glory.
Glorious was the only word to describe this moment, this feeling that started in his heart and spread like a fire through his whole body.
“Behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people.”
Good news? Great joy? This angel wasn’t coming to enact judgment? The news had to truly be great if God was sending angels to announce it.
“For unto you is born this day, in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.”
A Savior… Christ… the… LORD! Christ the Lord! The Messiah? A choke caught in Amos’s throat. Had all the waiting been worth it?
“This will be the sign: you will find the baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.”
How could the Messiah be a baby in a manger? Amos couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He must be dreaming… must be imagining it all. His deepest hopes and dreams had consumed him so much that he was tricking himself into thinking they were coming true. God, give me a sign. Show me You aren’t lying, his heart silently begged.
Suddenly, hundreds and thousands of angels joined the messenger, filling the night sky with a glory Amos had never experienced before. Their voices flooded the silent night in a roar of celebration. In unison they cried out, “Glory to God in the highest! And on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased.”
The voices slowly faded, leaving a dull ringing in the night air as the light dissipated and the angels rose into the air where they could no longer be seen.For a moment, all was silent. All Amos could hear was the thudding of his own heart in his ears. He carefully turned to look at Caleb and Jesse, who stood stock still, their mouths and eyes wide with fear and amazement. Amos licked his dry lips. “Caleb, Jesse.” His voice was shaky.
They snapped out of their shock and the threesome exchanged glances. “I guess we sh-should go.” Jesse finally said, his voice sounding so timid compared to the voice of the angels they had just heard.
Caleb nodded quickly, clearly trying to convince himself this was truly happening. “Let’s go into Bethlehem. Let’s see what the Lord has made known to us.”
They all nodded, but no one moved. Amos let out a nervous laugh. “C-come on, why are we, we waiting?”
A smile stretched across Caleb’s face. “Right, right.” He led the way across the darkened field, Amos and Jesse guiding the sheep to follow.
Caleb picked up his pace, running now through the wet grass. Amos struggled to keep the sheep at the same speed and not run faster than them. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Hope once again ignited in his heart. Was this happening? Was their Savior truly here?
His whole being vibrated with excitement. Caleb couldn’t run fast enough. Amos abolished any doubts, letting this child-like hope destroy any fear that threatened to bring back those doubts. He let a true, hopeful smile crown his face. Nothing mattered except finding that manger, finding that baby, finding his hope once more.
“But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel, whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days.”
The prophecy floated through his mind as they ran through crowded Bethlehem, ignoring the weird looks and curious stares of the people coming to their hometown for the census.
Amos replayed the angel’s message over and over again in his head. It mingled with every prophecy he had ever heard. Was it all coming true before his very eyes?
Caleb halted at the slightly opened door of a humble barn. He peeked in, letting out a little gasp. He turned back to them with a look of amazement.
Amos took a deep breath by the door, unsure of what he was about to witness. Hundreds of thoughts bounced around in his head, all fighting for attention. He ignored them all except one that kept blaring over and over—the Messiah was here.
~*~
Craig hated to admit it, but focusing on something else, especially helping others, helped him keep his mind off his own troubles. Every now and then he’d worry about how he was going to pay those bills in time, but these people that he was serving food to were much worse off than him. It kept him from complaining too much. After only a few minutes of serving people, he figured out why Kelly enjoyed nights like this so much. It felt fulfilling to make someone’s life a little better.
Most of those who walked by didn’t make eye contact—maybe offered a grateful smile—and didn’t talk much. Then there was one lady… she had five young children trailing behind her, in her arms, or climbing on her legs. She held two trays already full of food. She looked up at Craig with a smile. “Good evening.”
Craig offered a wobbly smile, not expecting someone to actually address him. “How are you doing?” Pretty stupid question to ask. It was obvious she wasn’t too great when she was trying to raise five children by herself and had to bring them to a meal pantry for dinner.
“Great.” She held out the trays. “Can we get some extra mashed potatoes? Lilly here really loves them.”
Craig slowly did so, studying her face. Something sparkled behind her dark eyes. What was it?—Hope, maybe?
“Thank you so much. God bless you.” She smiled again, moving down the line.
Craig puzzled himself trying to figure her out. How could she seem so content when she was in a situation like this?
Ethan leaned over. “That’s Gloria. She’s been going to this meal kitchen for the past couple of years.”
Craig’s eyes widened.
“Yeah, I know. Her husband died in a car accident just a little bit before. She struggled to get a good-paying job that would be able to support her and her five kids. They’re all under ten.”
Craig let his eyes follow her as she found a table for her family, smiling all the way. “How does she do it?” he murmured.
“That’s what I’ve been wondering. Someone told me she goes to the small church just down the road. Said she’s been going there for about a year now.”
Craig watched her as he served more people. She struggled to get her kids to stay put and to eat their food. Apparently they found the crowded room an exciting place and wanted to explore everything and meet everyone.
“Hey, can you cover me for five minutes?” Craig asked Ethan.
Ethan shrugged. “Sure.”
Craig removed his apron and gloves and weaved his way through the tightly packed tables until he reached Gloria’s. He scooped up one of her runaway children in his arms and planted the little boy in his seat. The boy gave him a concerned look, but stayed put.
Gloria looked up, surprised.
“Oh, sorry.” he took a step back, “I guess I shouldn’t have— it just looked like you needed help and— I didn’t mean to scare him.” He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets before he made the situation worse.
Gloria flashed him a friendly smile. “No, don’t worry about it. Thank you.”
He nodded, as if the conversation was over. She went back to helping her youngest eat her food. But he still stood there, a question tugging at his tongue. Gloria looked up at him. “Was there something you wanted to say?”
He furrowed his brow, considering saying nothing more. But the question slipped through his tightly closed lips. “How do you do it?”
She cocked her head. “Do what?”
He motioned to all her children. “This. I mean, you seem so happy to be here when I know you don’t want to be.”
She sighed, considering his question for a moment.
“Listen, I know that sounded like a stupid question, but,” he sat at the table, lowering his voice, “it’s just—my wife passed away two years ago, and a year later I lost my job. Now I’ve been trying to provide for my three kids and it’s just… hard. How do you make it look so easy?”
Having discovered their similarities, Gloria seemed to relax a little and offered a look of sympathy. “I’m so sorry. I wish I could help.”
“That’s what everyone says,” Craig said under his breath, hoping she wouldn’t hear.
She sighed, gently spooning more mashed potatoes into her little daughter’s mouth. “It’s really only God who’s brought me this far.”
Craig stiffened at the name. So God chose to help this woman but not him? What had he ever done wrong? “Oh…”
Her eyes narrowed just a little bit, as if she was reading into that one simple word. “Are you a Christian?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. Always had been. Ever since he was a little boy.
“Do you believe in God?”
“Yeah.” This time his answer was more of a mumble.
“Why not?”
Craig startled at the question. He had said yes, right? “I just… I said…” he let out a heavy sigh. “Listen, Gloria, I’m glad that God’s been helping you, but He left me when my wife died. He doesn’t work for everybody, okay?” He stood, giving her a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry for interrupting.”
“How’d you know my name?” It wasn’t accusatory, she just sounded sincerely curious.
“Oh, um, Ethan told me,” he answered without turning around to face her.
“Hm… Craig, can I tell you something?”
He slowly turned, sitting back down. “How do you know my name?”
“Ethan told me.” She smiled. “I understand you’re hurting, but have you ever thought about the Christmas story?”
He furrowed his brow. Where was she going with this? “Yeah, why?”
“I think it’s so crazy that God, the Creator of the universe, became a human, and was born as a helpless little baby in a stable.”
~*~
Amos slowly stepped into the stable, the strong scent of livestock meeting his nose. But that wasn’t what he cared about. A young woman looked up as the three of them entered, accompanied by a few scared sheep.
Her startled face looked over them and back to a young man who must have been her husband. The man stepped forward. “Who are you?”
“I am Caleb. This is Jesse and Amos. We’re shepherds. Some angels came and…” he laughed at the absurdity of it all, “well, they told us about… Him.” He motioned to the little baby that lay in the manger overflowing with golden hay.
The man exchanged a glance with his wife. She smiled and nodded for them to come closer. “You know who he is?” she asked softly.
Caleb nodded, his eyes fixed on the baby.
Amos gave the young woman, who had to be a few years younger than him, a grateful smile. “His name?”
“Jesus,” her husband answered softly, without taking his eyes off the manger.
~*~
“I don’t think a God who didn’t love us would go that low just to save us, do you?”
Craig shifted in his seat. “I guess not.”
She sighed. “Just something I like to think about every time Christmas rolls around. It’s a hard time of year for me too with my husband not being here, but God’s been so good to me. He’s given me five wonderful children to raise, a roof to sleep under, and meals everyday.”
Gloria wasn’t wrong, but that’s not exactly how Craig would have viewed it.
“He’s kept me and my family safe and given us a good church where we can worship Him with His people.”
Craig chewed on his lower lip.
“I want to encourage you to look at your situation a little bit differently. I know right now you probably feel abandoned and forgotten by God, but I promise you that’s not the truth.”
~*~
Amos slowly approached the manger as Jesus’ eyes fluttered open. A choke in his throat held back any more words. He bent down reverently. Was this their Savior? The Messiah? The King they had been waiting for? Was their salvation truly this helpless little baby sleeping in a smelly stable?
Amos reached out a shaky hand, holding his breath as he touched Jesus’ warm, newborn skin. His little hand wrapped around Amos’s finger, holding on tightly, like he was never going to let go. Tears blurred Amos’s vision as the faintest smile quirked his lips.
Baby Jesus opened his mouth, a small sound, like a little mouse, escaping as he yawned. Amos wiped away the tears that spilled from his eyes. He looked into the baby’s bright blue eyes as they looked up at him.
Never before had Amos felt so at peace.
~*~
Gloria leaned across the table, meeting his eyes. “The truth is that God loved you enough to send His Son to this earth to save and He loves you enough to accept you even after you’ve given up on Him. Believe me, Craig, I know. And I know it’s hard to accept that so just… let it sink in for a little bit.”
Craig blinked back tears. “Did Ethan tell you to tell me all that?” He let out a nervous laugh.
She smiled. “No. He didn’t.”
Craig hung his head, a tear escaping and slipping down his cheek. God, what are you doing? Why won’t you just leave me alone?
Yet wasn’t that what Craig had been complaining about for the past couple of years? He had felt that God had left him alone, and now He was gently calling him back.
~*~
Amos could no longer stop the tears that silently poured down his cheeks. This was truly the Son of God, lying in a manger. Was this what Amos had been like when he was born? Cold, tiny, helpless, lying in a feeding trough?
This was no place for a King, a Conqueror. Yet here he lay, surrounded by dirty animals. Amos held his breath as Jesus wriggled in the manger. He tilted his head slightly as he looked up at Amos.
Then those bright blue eyes closed and he fell back to sleep. Amos stood, steadily stepping backwards, never tearing his eyes away from the beautiful baby in the manger.
You never left me, he prayed. You’ve been right here this whole time.
~*~
Craig brushed away the tears that wouldn’t stay put. He looked around at Gloria’s young children who now happily chowed down on their food.
He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining Jesus as a baby, sleeping in the manger. Gloria was right. God loved the world, loved him, enough to send His Son to this earth to save him from himself. He looked back on the past couple of years and started to see where God had blessed them.
They had never missed a meal. He and his children had always been sufficiently clothed. They never lost electricity, water, heating, or air conditioning. His children still got to attend school and learn. He still was able to get a few odd jobs to provide for his children.
But Kelly was still gone. He’d never be able to change that. Yet God had proven himself faithful before and afterwards, Craig had just been too lost in his own pride to see it.
~*~
Amos ran the back of his hand across his face, trying to stop the onslaught of tears. God still loved him. God hadn’t given up on him and shunned him for his abba’s choices. And the proof was right here. Amos just hadn’t been patient enough to wait.
He had been so stupid to think that the God who brought His people through the wilderness would just give up and abandon them when they were literally surrounded by their enemies. Maybe His solution hadn’t been a King born in a glorious palace, or a King riding down from heaven, crushing His enemies underfoot—but if this little baby sleeping softly in a manger was God’s way of saving His people, then Amos was content.
He wasn’t too low for God’s love. He never had been. The proof was right here in front of his eyes, in the form of a lowly baby. The mistakes of those around him and his own mistakes weren’t enough to separate Amos from the love of God.
Finally, in what felt like forever, Amos felt totally and completely loved, all because of this little baby boy in a manger.
~*~
Craig stood with a sigh, quietly thanking Gloria. She nodded and smiled. He walked back to the serving station, silently putting back on an apron and plastic gloves. Ethan looked back and forth between Craig and Gloria across the room. “Can I ask what happened?”
Craig smiled. “I finally listened.”
As he ignored Ethan’s curious look and continued serving those who came through the line, Craig got things right between him and God. A gentle peace slowly washed over his hardened heart, slowly, so slowly, softening it. Why had he resisted this peace for so long when it felt better to be closer to God than farther away?
It wasn’t God who had abandoned him; he had abandoned God and given up on him. Tried to keep going on his own. Now he knew it was too exhausting to do it all on his own.
God was with him, right now; He had been this whole time. A little flower of hope began to bloom from the crevices of Craig’s heart of stone. God had never left. He had simply been waiting for Craig to turn around and open his eyes, to see Him for who He truly was.
Craig sensed a light beginning to dawn in his darkness. Maybe this Christmas would be different.
~*~
Amos sat in the rosy light of the rising sun, his mind reeling after the events of the past few hours. His heart felt so at peace right now. The Messiah had finally come. God had never left His people alone. And now he had sent their Savior in the form of a baby who would grow up to be a conqueror. Amos wasn’t quite sure what that conquest would look like, but he couldn’t wait to find out.
The most beautiful form of contentment flooded his heart, knowing that God still loved him, even after Amos had given up hope in Him. He let out a soft sigh, overlooking the flock. The Shepherd had come. He would gather His flock to Himself, rescuing them from their enemies.
Yet something in Amos’s heart told him that the Messiah had come for more than that. If that little baby somehow turned Amos’s life around in one special night, what would He do with the hearts of a nation in a lifetime?
Amos smiled at the sky, picturing where the angels had declared their good news. Yes, it was truly the greatest news he had ever heard. His most treasured part of the prophecy he had heard in synagogue the other day whispered through his thoughts, “And they shall dwell secure…”
Amos leaned back on his elbows, releasing a contented sigh. Yes. Right now, he knew he was secure in God’s hands. He had never left him. He had simply been waiting for Amos to soften his heart and see Him again.
Amos knew he saw Him. He felt Him. He knew He was here. And that was only a taste of what the Messiah would do. A spark of excitement lit a little flame inside him.
“God, whatever you plan to do,” he whispered into the still morning, “I’ll be there. In your flock. As you make me dwell securely in Your pastures.”
~*~
Craig woke up on Christmas morning with a peace he had never known before. He still felt that painful ache for Kelly’s presence, but this time, he also felt God’s presence, right beside Him.
“You’re here, aren’t You?” He said softly into the quiet bedroom. “You always have been. And You always will be.”
He still didn’t know how he was going to pay those bills tomorrow, but after remembering how things had always worked out in the past, he felt much more at peace with it this time. God had carried him then when he had pushed Him away. And God would still carry him now, while he worked to grow closer to Him. There was no way he wanted to lose this peace he felt so strongly now.
A single tear slipped down Craig’s cheek. “Thank You,” he whispered. “For everything.”
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Welp… I wrote a short story! XD
If you have the time, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it before I show it to friends and family. (It’s kinda long, I apologize, lol. It’s under 11k.)
Tagging some folks just in case you’re interested, but don’t feel obligated to read it. :))
@freed_and_redeemed @savannah_grace2009 @lightoverdarkness6 @godlyfantasy12 @whalekeeper @theducktator @loopylin @the_lost-journal @ellette-giselle @rae @raxforge @trailblazer @highscribeofaetherium @grcr ( @hybridlore XP) @theshadowI feel like I’m missing a ton of people that I wanted to tag….oh well, @anyone-who-sees-this-XD
(I tried to get all the italics, but I might have missed some. So if you see thoughts that aren’t italicized, my bad, lol)
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Yay, it’s out!! 😁
Hmm… @kyronthearcanin, @keilah-h, @jonas, and @liberty might also be interested.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
Also, you forgot to blur out your last name. 😬 Unless you meant to leave it in there, I just know you had blurred it out before when posting the cover. But it might not let you edit anymore.
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
Yeah, I noticed, lol. I don’t really care too much, tbh. I mean, I trust y’all, and most KP stalkers end up as members anyway. 😂 Thanks for letting me know tho! 😊
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Okay! Just wanted to make sure you knew. 🙃
Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. ~ C.S. Lewis
Nice, I’ll read it when I have time (probably not until Monday) 🙂 I really like the cover btw.
A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund: Money for People.
Yay!!
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Ooh, this looks interesting. I will read it soon.
"No! Monkeys should have pets, all monkeys should have pets!"
Girl this is so good! I love it!
"Real love is for your good, not for your comfort." -Justin Whitmel Earley
I loved it! It kind of reminds me of Veggietales. Craig would be played by Larry, Gloria would be Petunia, Ethan would be Bob, and Ezra would be Junior Asparagus. XD
Tempus adest gratiae
Hoc quod optabamus,
Carmina laetitiae
Devote reddamus!Oh my goodness!!! This was so, so good! I really loved this, and the time flips were amazing! I love how you did the different periods, yet had them flow together so well that at times it almost felt like the same story! Oh this was amazing. The descriptions you use were perfect and I could really picture everything! Well done!
Man is born for the fight, to be forged and molded into a sharper, finer, stronger image of God
Awesome!
thank you!! <33
Nooooo, now I won’t be able to get that out my head!!! that’s amazing 🤣🤣
Thank you so much, Ellette!! 🤗
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
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