Novel Excerpt (Feedback Welcome)

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  • #30758
    Kate Flournoy
    @kate-flournoy
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 3976

      @That_Writer_Girl_99 mmmm… yes. *digests it* I likey. Muchly. Again, let me have some time to mull over it and I have a few questions I wanna ask you about it once I get everything straight in my head, but that’s an awesome idea. Lots to go with there.

      Elizabeth
      @that_writer_girl_99
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1819

        @kate-flournoy Sounds great.

        Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

        #30766
        The Impossible Girl
        @f5a8c3e92
          • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
          • Total Posts: 146

          @that_writer_girl_99 All I’m thinking is the X-Gene right now… My Marvel comics senses are indicating X-Men-style story!

          "Not all who wander are lost."
          Wild Australian. INXJ.

          #30811
          Elizabeth
          @that_writer_girl_99
            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
            • Total Posts: 1819

            Haha, yes, it is a little like that, I guess…but minus the cursing and excess of immodest costumes… *cringes* @f5a8c3e92

            Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

            #30867
            Elizabeth
            @that_writer_girl_99
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1819

              @kate-flournoy

              Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

              #30871
              Anonymous
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1486

                @That_writer_girl_99 *randomly jumps into conversation* Awesome character voice! You weaved your MC’s voice with the prose so naturally they’re inseparable. Love it. *Disappears in a swirl of mist*

                #30875
                The Impossible Girl
                @f5a8c3e92
                  • Rank: Loyal Sidekick
                  • Total Posts: 146

                  @that_writer_girl_99 The comic-book X-Men aren’t as bad as the ones in the films.

                  "Not all who wander are lost."
                  Wild Australian. INXJ.

                  #30911
                  Elizabeth
                  @that_writer_girl_99
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1819

                    @winter-rose Thank you, love!


                    @f5a8c3e92
                    But they’re still pretty bad…I like the idea of the X-Men, but not the actual characters. Except Jean Gray. She kicks booty.

                    Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                    #30916
                    Elizabeth
                    @that_writer_girl_99
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1819

                      @kate-flournoy Are you around?

                      Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                      #30921
                      Kate Flournoy
                      @kate-flournoy
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 3976

                        @That_Writer_Girl_99 all right!
                        *rolls up sleeves* You ready?

                        Okay. Let’s see how well I can say this.
                        DISCLAIMER: before we proceed, I just need to remind you (and myself 😛 ) that this is your book and nothing I say should pressure you against your better judgment. I can tend to take over with projects I’m really interested in and I so do not want to do that. This is your story. Bear that in mind. 😉

                        We’ll start from the ground up. You seem to already know a fair bit about this so I’ll skip some of the theoretical bits and get straight to the nitty gritties. Probably the most important technical aspect of any theme ever is going to be the characters. The theme is carried by them— pretty much exclusively. Their worldviews and arcs and the ways they grow and change and learn is the way your story teaches.
                        Got that?
                        Okay. So every person/character has what’s called an ‘experiment in living’. (EiL for short).
                        Basically, this is what they believe and act on— and we call it an experiment because they are testing their beliefs in the real world to see how valid they are; how well they hold up.
                        Keep that thought.
                        If you’ve chosen your theme before you’ve mapped out your characters’ EiLs, you’re in a good place. This gives you the opportunity to focus your theme by giving all your characters different EiLs on the same subject. Your chosen theme.
                        Keep that thought too.

                        The theme you chose is intelligence vs. ignorance. Great. Awesome. But… that’s a very very VERY broad subject. What specifically about intelligence vs. ignorance are you trying to say?
                        You need a focusing question. It’s probably going to be ‘Is intelligence better than ignorance?’
                        Now you need several different answers to that question, not all of them correct. A few examples…
                        Yes, intelligence is better than ignorance, because if you’re intelligent you can make ignorant people do what you want.
                        No, intelligence is not better than ignorance, because it’s better to be ignorant than face the horrors of reality.
                        Yes, it’s better to be intelligent than ignorant, because even though the reality of what is hurts, it’s better to face it than hide.

                        And so forth. You can have as many as you can think of.
                        These can all be made into the EiLs of your characters. Those who have the wrong EiLs will either have a character arc where they change their view, or be destroyed because their Experiment was invalid. This is how you answer your thematic question— is it better to be ignorant than know the hard truth?

                        And… that’s probably enough for now. That’s a lot of info. Questions?

                        Elizabeth
                        @that_writer_girl_99
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1819

                          Wow. *hugs you* This is awesome. Better than anything I’d hoped for. @kate-flournoy

                          The concept of an EiL is new to me, too, and it very much excites me. I think I’ll have an easier time with my plotting if I keep this in mind…

                          Kate, thank you so much for being willing to put so much into this. It means so much to me!

                          Speaking of plot…I’m having a hard time with figuring out where I want my story to go…which means I don’t know how the story is going to end, and I still don’t know what the climax is going to be…

                          How does one go about building a story? Dumb question, sorry, but this…this story is the first work that I’ve spent a serious amount of time planning. I may have several years of “writing” under my belt, but there’s so much I still don’t know…

                          Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                          #30925
                          Elizabeth
                          @that_writer_girl_99
                            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                            • Total Posts: 1819

                            @kate-flournoy *thinks for a moment*

                            A few examples…
                            Yes, intelligence is better than ignorance, because if you’re intelligent you can make ignorant people do what you want.
                            No, intelligence is not better than ignorance, because it’s better to be ignorant than face the horrors of reality.
                            Yes, it’s better to be intelligent than ignorant, because even though the reality of what is hurts, it’s better to face it than hide.

                            I kinda feel like Kara needs to start out as the second example, and grow into the third.

                            Blake, a character you haven’t met yet, is the exact opposite of Kara–Kara has lived in the prison most of her life, but Blake, a rogue Elemental who lived in Brookstone, is taken off the streets and forced into to city. He knows what’s really out there, so the prison propaganda, and the Warden’s lying ways…don’t sit well with him.
                            In my head, Blake is a rather prideful character. He thinks he knows everything. If anything, he’s the type of character that would start the stereotypical revolution often found in these stories, not Kara.

                            Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

                            #30930
                            Kate Flournoy
                            @kate-flournoy
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 3976

                              @That_Writer_Girl_99 not a problem. 😀 And if you think this is great… sweetheart. Wait until KP actually releases the Theme Mastery course I learned all this from. I was a beta-tester… it changed my life. YOU MUST HAVE IT. OKAY. (I was not paid for that advertisement. 😉 )

                              To go about building a story… well… you need to figure out what your MC’s arc is. (MC stands for Main Character). What her EiL is, and where you want to have her by the end of the story in regards to the theme, and how you’re going to get her there by bouncing her off the EiLs of the other characters.
                              This brings us to one of my absolute favorite literary devices— the Foil Character. Basically, someone with a similarity to your MC, but who has one fundamental difference, usually having to do with their EiL.
                              Take Tam. She and Kara are both Elementals. They’re similar. But their EiLs are different. This highlights the different EiLs and makes us pay more attention to who’s winning and why.
                              You can have as many foils as you want.
                              And a second kind of foil that I also really love is called an Impact Character. Basically, they’re a character whose different stance on the core thematic issue pushes the MC to growth in her own arc, either because she see’s they’re right and follows, or because she sees they’re wrong (my favorite) and consciously pushes away. This moves her arc, and as her EiL changes, she’s going to start moving the plot more and more in accord with her beliefs.

                              The villain is an awesome opportunity for a foil/impact… and that’s probably where the Warden comes in. For some reason I saw him as someone who confined the Elementals not because he hated them, but because he had a mistaken love for them and wanted to shelter them from reality. This makes him a very sympathetic villain, and also makes the reader wonder how sheltered ignorance can be so bad if it springs from love?
                              This makes his thematic thread extremely dynamic, because people understand why he’s doing what he’s doing and it makes them ask questions. Always very good. 😉

                              Thoughts?

                              Kate Flournoy
                              @kate-flournoy
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 3976

                                @That_Writer_Girl_99 YES! Blake also seems like a really, really great opportunity to be an Impact Character. In fact… you could make him the one with the complete thematic truth. That it’s better to face reality than shelter in ignorance. A very unlikely bearer of truth— maybe the reader doesn’t see it at first. But if you give him that, his EiL should be the one that wins. 😉

                                Elizabeth
                                @that_writer_girl_99
                                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                  • Total Posts: 1819

                                  …did you just call me sweetheart? @kate-flournoy

                                  Okay. Foil characters. That fundamental difference can be anything? Like how Tam is brash and boastful and Kara is shy and sheltered? Or a physical difference, like how Tam gets taken out of the prison, and Kara stays?

                                  I love the idea of an impact character. *scribbles this in her notes*

                                  Yeah, Daeus loved the idea Warden too. Does he have a thing for good villains or something?
                                  Anyway. I haven’t really decided what to do with the Warden yet, although, last night, I was thinking about possible twists involving his character and the Catastrophes. (I’m rather proud of myself for thinking up the Catastrophes)

                                  Writer. Dreamer. Sometimes blogger. MBTI mess. Lover of Jesus and books.

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