Need Advice with my Character's Responses

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  • #71090
    Ariel Ashira
    @ariel-ashira
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 739

      Okay, so I have this scene I need some help with.  My MC is an eighteen year old guy who is returning home after not being able to see his family for two years.  His family has thought him dead for over a year.  What would these peoples responses be when he shows up one night: his Father, his Mother, his ten year old brother, and the elderly servant woman.

      Any ideas how they would react?

      (By the way, I just had a thought.  My two main characters names are Joshua and Daniel.  Maybe I should change it to Josiah and Daniel? 😛 And the main girl in the story is named Atarah, so I could just switch that to Anna…)

      "In a mask, was he?"

      #71093
      Rochellaine
      @rochellaine
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3322

        @ariel-ashira My favorite example of what someone did when seeing someone unexpectedly is the Biblical story of when Peter and Rhoda.  Remember, when Peter knocked on the door after being released from prison and she came to answer the door, she heard him speak and recognized his voice, but she was so excited she forgot to open the door! 😀  So he had to just stand out there and wait while she went to tell everyone and tried to convince them that she wasn’t crazy.

        I would expect the ten-year-old brother’s response would be great excitement, but more normal actions than what would happen with the older people.  He’d probably just act really excited and hug his brother, and want to run and tell everyone.  A sister would be a little different, since she’d probably be shy at first, and then clingy and cry a bit.  Same with the mother, except the mother wouldn’t be quite as shy unless he grew up a lot during those two years…which, now that I consider the difference between sixteen and eighteen, he probably did. 😉

        The cliche would be for the elderly servant woman to be frightened and think he was a ghost, but since it is cliche, you might want to have her stronger and less easily scared.  Maybe someone else can give you advice on how exactly she should act.

        I think men get a little stiff when they’re startled, and move slowly until they figure the situation out. But that’s only in some situations, and some men, since generalizing doesn’t always work, so other than that I don’t know.

        If anyone disagrees with me, please say so!  The people I know haven’t ever been in such drastic situations, so I’m only speaking from very mild experience.

        "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

        #71097
        Ariel Ashira
        @ariel-ashira
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 739

          @rochellaine Thank you!  Yeah, his sister was five when he left, and she hardly remembers him.  Also, because of the traumatizing situation they were in for a while when he was taken away, she has hardly spoken for those two years.  My poor little character!

          I find it tons of fun, but also difficult to write these very emotional scenes.  I enjoy them, though.  It can just get hard to explain everyone’s reaction all at the same time. 🙂

          "In a mask, was he?"

          #71204
          Skredder
          @skredder
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 527

            @ariel-ashira I do think it depends on the relationships the he had with his family before he left.

            "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

            #71205
            Ariel Ashira
            @ariel-ashira
              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
              • Total Posts: 739

              @skredder He had really good relationships with his family before he was taken away.  Good point!

              "In a mask, was he?"

              #71208
              Jenna Terese
              @jenwriter17
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 2522

                @ariel-ashira watching movies with this kind of situation may help, cuz then you can see facial expression and feelings better than a book. since the relationship is a good one between the son and his family like you say, there will most likely be shock and lots of tears. Some people, when they see someone they thought dead for several years, actually go into a bit of shock, and in that case you’re supposed to gently introduce yourself. But I’m not sure if two years is enough for that kind of shock.

                I’m not sure if that made sense, feel free to ask questions. 😉

                oh, do you want me to tag more people?

                I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
                www.jennaterese.com

                #71210
                Ariel Ashira
                @ariel-ashira
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 739

                  @jenwriter17 Good idea!  Yes, tag more people please!

                  "In a mask, was he?"

                  #71212
                  Jenna Terese
                  @jenwriter17
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 2522

                    @arie-ashira okey-dokey 😉


                    @alia
                    @seekjustice @jane-maree @ingridrd @notawriter @itisastarrynight @daeus

                    I'm a Kapeefer 'TIL WE'RE OLD AND GREY!
                    www.jennaterese.com

                    #71281
                    The fledgling Artist
                    @notawriter
                      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                      • Total Posts: 328

                      @jenwriter17 Oh boy- you tagged me?! *squeaks* Okay well um.. @ariel-ashira Hmm, well I obviously don’t know your characters very well (or.. you’know at all.) so it’s hard for me to say how they should react. I would Imagine feelings of shock, joy, confusion, and thankfulness could be natural.

                      I have to think of the story of the prodigal son, (from the bible) and how happy the father was to see his son. I didn’t read it before writing this but when I think of that story I always imagine the father feeling so happy that what ever he had been doing didn’t matter anymore; he drops everything to embrace his son, and then he throws a party for him.
                      Maybe if you gave the end of the story a little read it might spark some inspiration?

                      I think out of all the emotions I mentioned if I personally had to focus in on one, it would be shock? I just can’t imagine what it would be like to discover something like that. Would I be able to process it? Would I be able to speak? Or breathe even?? I Dunno man.

                      and I was so confused

                      #71353
                      Ariel Ashira
                      @ariel-ashira
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 739

                        @notawriter Thank you!  I think if something like this happened to me – ahh! would I even be able to think?  I would probably just freeze for a little, then cry and be shy and want to hug him all at the same time and make a complete fool of myself!  No way could I stay dignified at all. 🙂

                        "In a mask, was he?"

                        #71366
                        Bella B.
                        @ashlyvye
                          • Rank: Wise Jester
                          • Total Posts: 96

                          @ariel-ashira  I don’t know about the dad, but the servant woman would probably start crying, and so would the mom, because they would be the two people who raised him “the most”  and the little brother… Because he’s 10 what if his parents just told him that his older brother was going to be gone for a long time, then later plan to tell him, but before they tell him the older brother comes back and the little boy is really happy and run’s around telling everybody (cuz’ that’s what little ones do.  Share the news you are supposed to be telling everyone *cough*experiance*cough*)  Or if the little brother dose know the older brother is dead, he could do what little boy’s also do… *hem* …come up with some random story on how the world is going to explode and the brother came back from heaven to warn them.

                          Okay, that’d be funny and actually realistic, but what I was originally trying to type before I wanted to say that, was that the little boy could think he was a ghost or something like the “cliche servant woman” thing that Rochellaine mentioned, because technically it can’t be the servant woman cliche if it’s the little boy doing it.

                          Okay, I’m not sure if that’s actually what you were looking for, but I hope it helps with something!

                          *insert awesome signature because I'm a bit too lazy to come up with one*

                          #71368
                          Rochellaine
                          @rochellaine
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 3322

                            @ashlyvye That’s a very funny idea! 🙂

                            Wouldn’t you say a ten-year-old would be just a little smarter than that, though?  If he was two, or even five, I could understand his parents not telling him what happened, but at ten that seems a bit far fetched to me.  Especially since it’s not a recent thing, but the brother was gone for two whole years.

                            I could probably still see him running around with a mixed-up story, though. 😛

                            If you disagree, feel free to explain further.  I know several young boys, but not very well, and they could be quite different from the ones you know! 😉 😀  So I don’t want to generalize, which I’m afraid I just did above. 🙁

                            "Sylvester - Sylvester!"

                            #71369
                            Ariel Ashira
                            @ariel-ashira
                              • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                              • Total Posts: 739

                              @ashlyvye 😀 Thank you!  Thats helpful.  Except, the parents would have told him (and he would have understood a great deal anyway) what was going on.

                              "In a mask, was he?"

                              #71371
                              Bella B.
                              @ashlyvye
                                • Rank: Wise Jester
                                • Total Posts: 96

                                @rochellaine  @ariel-ashira

                                I know in some story’s it varies depending on the character, but do whatever you think seems most ‘him!’  😀

                                 

                                *insert awesome signature because I'm a bit too lazy to come up with one*

                                #71372
                                Ariel Ashira
                                @ariel-ashira
                                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                  • Total Posts: 739

                                  @ashlyvye Yes, and thank you for your help, Ashly!  And you too @rochellaine

                                  "In a mask, was he?"

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