My WIP

[Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)]

@thearcaneaxiom

Hmmm… So, it’s a mystery… 🤔🤣

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

[TheArcaneAxiom]

@kyronthearcanin

At least for now yes. Much of it is a mystery to even Liren, because Kirrtes doesn’t really speak to him. It only gives vague emotional impressions, but strict commands. Why does Kirrtes do this, why is it so evil, no one knows…

He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

[Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)]

@thearcaneaxiom

That’s definitely the kind of thing that will keep a reader, well, reading. I know I’d keep reading!

One of my other WIPs (a fantasy) that’s kind of taken a backseat for a while is about dragons. In it, there are certain dragons- either Starborn or Fireborn, that have magic. Instead of their magic being transferred genetically, it comes from your egg being under a clear sky full of stars and moonlight, or from your egg being within close proximity of fire when you hatch. Sol, the main character, has an unusual power- to give dragons not born with magic their own power.

So when a close friend asks for the power to take memories, and resorts to using force, she eventually gives in. She escapes and hides while he grows in power, seeking to take over by taking the memories of anyone who would oppose him. When she is found, he captures her and takes away her memories, and she must learn to trust another dragon, named Kulgar, so that they can escape together.

Don’t know why, but I was reminded of this today, and I think I’ll probably look back into continuing it. 🙂

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

[TheArcaneAxiom]

@kyronthearcanin

That sounds like a really fun story! So dragons born without either of these conditions are just without magic, what’s the social dynamic between magical and non magical dragons?

He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

[Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)]

@thearcaneaxiom

Kings, queens, and other royals generally try to use the magical-born dragons for their own purposes. Depending on the dragon, some will try to have their eggs hatched with magic, while others think they should be killed at birth. Some dragons are afraid of them, others jealous.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

[TheArcaneAxiom]

@kyronthearcanin

Cool! That makes sense. Well, if you ever get back into it, I would hear more!

He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

[Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)]

@thearcaneaxiom

Sounds good! 😄

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

[Gwyndalf the Wise]

@kyronthearcanin

Oof, this is an infodump, sorry about that

XD I haven’t really worked on a…synopsis, I think that’s the word… so here’s a lengthy jumbled mess of an explanation.

Well I have a fantasy/mystery (hopefully graphic novel) series that currently goes by Insert Title cause I’m not good with names XD
It has themes of overcoming fear, doing what is right versus doing what is easy, and every life has a purpose.
Superpowers, sarcasm, and secretive shenanigans are involved.
– Teilo
He’s an ex-prince who gets framed. The only way to prove himself innocent is by confronting his fears (with the help of God)…and betraying a friend.
– Derek (XD This was a stand-in name that stuck.)
He’s a snarky thief/unwilling gang member with conflicted interests. He’s trying to find a way to help prove his new friend’s innocence…until his boss(es) isn’t happy with that and holds his famous cousin hostage…then threatens to blame the entire operation (framing the friend, plus kidnapping charges) on him.
– Evander
He’s an apprenticing detective who feels overlooked. He likes to take the lead, is impatient, and doesn’t like to be stepped on (both figuratively and literally XD).
– Luca
He’s a mischievous child with insatiable curiosity. I’ve been told he resembles a frog… *shrugs* He’s very literal, collects a ridiculous amount of mushrooms, and hates to be alone. He’s also my profile picture.
– Ingrid
Is character I haven’t figured out entirely. Sooooo…yeah. She’s Evander’s younger sister. She does her best to keep the guys from…doing anything rash to each other.

– Zules
Is another character I haven’t figured out yet, but I know more about her than Ingrid. XD
So, she’s Derek’s cousin. She’s gotta learn something and I know what it is but haven’t found a way to put it into words yet. She doesn’t really have a POV turn until the second book

– There’s also another POV character that I don’t have a name for yet but she also doesn’t turn up until the second book. I really like her, but I don’t really know much about her. XD

Currently I’m pausing it slightly because I’m perfectionistic-ing on it too much. But I will get back to it.
~~~

My other is a Spider-man fanfic called: [SPY]DER-MAN  XD definitely couldn’t tell that

It’s steampunk and involves betrayal, justice, siblings/cousins, and debates over art.
This story probably has the most developed villain I’ve ever done but I’m not gonna talk about him cause spoilers.

I’m just as passionate about these characters but it’s late and I’m tired and can’t think so they get less info right now

Aaron: Is an overworked spy by choice and takes on everyone’s responsibilities instead of his own. He’s gotta learn what doing his part really means, and trusting God with the rest…before he learns the hard way.

Cory: Is an idealistic teenager who doesn’t understand people but loves to meet people. She’s gotta learn to step up but also hand her fears over to the Lord.

Gilbert: He’s got a static arc but he’s gotta deal with *SERIOUS SPOILERS*

This is what I’m currently working on.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Gwyndalf the Wise.

"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19

[Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)]

@gwyndalf-the-wise

It looks really cool! (And now the profile pic makes sense lol)

Doing a graphic novel would be awesome! Would you do the art for it? Just curious🙂. The profile looks really good.

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

[Gwyndalf the Wise]

@kyronthearcanin so I didn’t get around to answering people yesterday hence why this is late, sorry

Thanks! XD if you ever have questions about things I do, including profile pictures you’re welcome to ask, I may or may not have reasons behind them

Yeah! Yes, I’d like to do the art. I really enjoy drawing my characters and scenes and their reactions to things. XD It’s hilarious sometimes. Thanks! =)

"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19

[Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)]

@gwyndalf-the-wise

Alright!

I know what you mean. I’ve drawn reactions of certain characters when one of my favorites, Dune, tries to make a joke. Sorren always manages to look confused and slightly annoyed, and Rina like she’s trying not to laugh. Arew is hiding behind his wing trying to hide his laughter. XD

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

[LandriC]

@kyronthearcanin

This is great!! It hits close to home for me; as a nursing student, almost all of my fantasy/sci-fi characters are medics and healers. (I know, I know, strange mashup of reality and fantasy 🙂

First off, I loved your characters and explanations of races/kinds. Everything made sense to me in that regard. Plus, I’m a sucker for the idea of halflings. Gotta love those “stuck-in-the-middle” characters! Your Latin-esque species names felt classic and sci-fi at the same time.

I think my brain would like a bit more description in terms of setting and character. You did fantastic describing the Serpenree and I’d love to see that same description of Rina. As far as setting, my brain felt a little lost in what to picture. However, some of that may come in later chapters, so my critique may be unwarranted.

You’ve got a great style and really good dialogue, too!

I love this and I want to read more!! Tag me, please!!

 

"To death or to victory"

[Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)]

@landric

I’m actually probably getting ready to put up my second chapter for any possible feedback, so I’ll definitely tag you. Thanks for the compliments! I’ve always loved the “halfling” sort of idea and have to be careful not to do that to all of my characters lol. And yeah, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to describe Rina and the setting without pulling readers out of the story, or the point of view, if that makes sense.

Now that you mention it, I realize a lot of characters in my different WIPs are healers… Weird. Maybe God secretly wants me to become a doctor or something 🤣🤣

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

[Ava Murbarger (Solfyre)]

@thearcaneaxiom @landric @gwyndalf-the-wise @keilah-h @godlyfantasy12 @anyone-else

Alright! For anyone who wants to read, this is chapter 2 of Healer. It introduces a couple of my favorite characters. This is definitely open to critique, as I want to see what readers think of it. Sometimes the writer can’t see flaws, or even strengths, in their own writing.

All that aside, here’s Chapter 2!

Chapter 2

The battle horns of the Serpenree blast across the plain, and I jolt to attention. Quelin blinks his eyes open and stands, stretching. The pounding of a thousand clawed Serpenree feet and their hissing roars follow, along with howls from the Lupinari. I grab my satchel and stumble out of the tent, watching for any wounded Serpenree. A growl escapes my throat. I should be looking to help Lupinari, not stuck here to bandage stubborn Serpenree.

I wince, my pointed ears flattening to the top of my head at the sound of a Lupinari’s final whine, crushed by the blow of a Serpenree’s tail. I keep my head down with the hood on, desperately wishing to go and fight with the rest of the Lupinari. Anger bubbles inside me. This is what Quelin used to do- crush, bite, kill Lupinari. It was his job. I’m glad it was taken from him now, but can I forgive him? I clench my fists and growl through my teeth. The Serpenree seem to start wars for no good reason, under Dragor’s command. I would give anything for five minutes with that cruel Serpenree.

I see Quelin point out of the corner of my eye. “There,” he says. “Big green one over there. Fool Lupinari cut through his leg.”

Reluctantly I run into the fray, making my way towards the injured Serpenree.  I’m distinguished from the other Lupinari only by my lack of armor. After being jostled and shoved by a bunch of lizards, I make it to the wounded soldier. He scowls at me as I duck under his arm, struggling to stand up. My hood comes down, and immediately I hear a growl from a Lupinari. I shoot him an apologetic look as he pulls his sword from a Serpenree’s gut.

“Traitor,” he snaps, ducking a Serpenree tail. He steps forward and shoves the soldier’s arm from my shoulder, who slumps towards the ground with a hiss. The Lupinari’s green eyes glare into mine, and before I know it I’m on the ground with a blade to my throat. “An Arcanin, too?” His eyes flash with rage. “Halfling. Traitor to the Arcanin and the Lupinari!”

All I can do is lay there while chaos unfolds around us. The dagger draws a drop of blood from my neck, staining the fur there red. “I’m no traitor,” I say with a swallow, blinking away the rain. “They force me. I have no choice.”
He shakes his head in disgust. “Well, that won’t be a problem for long.” He draws the blade back, ready to strike… and gets trampled by a roaring Serpenree soldier. I let out a breath of relief, wiping tears from my eyes. I try to forget the Lupinari as I again duck under the injured soldier’s arm. Making my way back to the tent, I can tell Quelin saw what happened. I stare down at the ground, choosing to ignore him. He probably doesn’t care anyway. Not really.

I stumble into the tent and lay the wounded Serpenree on one of the beds. There’s a deep cut in his leg, definitely a Lupinari blade. I take a look at the jars in my satchel, and sniff out the one I need. Quelin watches with arms crossed as I work. The Serpenree soldier just sits there with a grimace painted across his face. Finally, I’m done, and I give him a nod. Just as I expect, he stands, grabs an extra spear from the back corner of the tent, and charges out into the battle again.

I glance at Quelin. He is tapping his foot irritably, staring out the tent door. “Miss the battle?” I ask, a little growl in my voice. “Miss crushing Lupinari?”
He shrugs. “Maybe a little. Did that Lupinari out there give you trouble?”

“A Serpenree got him,” I say, dodging the question. I can tell he knows I’m avoiding it. “I did my job. I guess it doesn’t matter.”

Quelin nods. “Bound to happen when you’re a halfling traitor, you know.”
I squint at him. “You’re saying I’m a traitor, too? I’m working for you Serpenree. It’s not like I get anything for it, anyway.”
“You get food and water. You get shelter. Be grateful you’re alive,” says Quelin. He pauses, staring off into the distance. “Is that-”

I spot what he sees over a hill. A ship- definitely not Serpenree or Lupinari- is slowly spiraling downward, until it disappears behind the hill. “A Felisaro? What is he doing here?”
“I don’t know,” Quelin growls, “but I intend to find out. Stay here.”
I cross my arms. “No way. I want to see it, too. Besides, your job is to watch me.”

Quelin scowls. “If you think I’m going to take orders from a halfling like you, you’re out of your mind. Stay in the tent, mutant.” He turns around, stomping off in the direction he spotted the Felisaro. Apparently the conversation is over.

But my mind is made up. I drop down on all fours, and before Quelin can stop me, race out in front of him, towards the hill where we saw the Felisaro. He roars with frustration and sprints after me, surprisingly fast with his tail flying out behind him. I pick up the speed, wondering what he’ll do if he catches me. Is Quelin really a friend? I raise my hood. Maybe the Felisaro could be, if he doesn’t know I’m a halfling. Or an Arcanin, for that matter. I don’t know if they get along with the Felisaro. As for the Lupinari, they and the Felisaro have remained neutral, at least as far as I know. Hopefully they’ve stayed that way.

I get a few glances from the soldiers, as if they’re wondering whether or not to come after me, but they stay in the fight. I try to run faster, but Quelin is gaining on me.

Come on, Rina. You’re a Lupinari. You’re supposed to be faster than the Serpenree.

Unfortunately, I’m not really a Lupinari. I’m a halfling. A mutant, a creature, whatever the Serpenree want to call me, and while I love to run, I’m slower than most Lupinari. I glance back at an angry Quelin, his spear getting dangerously close to my tail. He has his orders, even if he is my friend- this will be the second time I’ve really disobeyed the Serpenree. Three, if you count my “disrespect” of the soldier back in the hall. Not knowing what else to do, I make a rash decision, turning and running straight into the raging battle.

I’m hoping Quelin will be glad for the opportunity to get into the fight, and that he’ll be distracted by the other Lupinari. I can’t run clear to the other side of the field; he’ll be sure to see me. So, with little choice, I turn around, hood raised, and fight alongside the other Lupinari. Almost immediately I realize that I’ve never really been in a fight before. Everything slows down, and I see a blur of fur and scales all around me. Then Quelin is reaching over the fighting soldiers to grab my hood. I duck and roll across the ground, and another Lupinari pulls me to my feet.

“What are you doing?” he asks, a little bit of snarl in his voice. His snout is inches from mine, and I notice his fur is sleek, not as soft or thick as mine. He looks me over and his silver eyes soften. “You’re not old enough to be out here, are you?” I shake my head uneasily, a little confused. “I get it. Younglings are so eager to kick some Serpenree tail, eh?” He pats my shoulder. “Just stick with me, and you’ll be alright.” He turns and blocks a Serpenree tail with his sword, slicing the tip of the tail clean off. “What’s your name?”

I cough. “It’s Rina.”

He frowns, leading me back through the Lupinari ranks, away from the heat of the battle. I don’t see Quelin. He must be trapped in the heat of the battle. “You know, you should be wearing armor. Those Serpenree spears can hurt.”

I glance down at my arm. “I know.”
“Well, kid, my name is Sorren.” He draws a dagger from his belt and tosses it to me. I fumble with it and come dangerously close to cutting my neck. “You’re not trained for battle, either, are you?” I shake my head. “Just hold that dagger close and swing anytime you see scales. That’s what we tell the rookies.”
“Listen, Sorren,” I say uncomfortably. “I have to get out of here. I was a prisoner here on Lacertilia, and there’s a Felisaro-”

“A prisoner?” Sorren’s teeth show in a snarl. “You’re a youngling!”
“Yes, well, I’ve never been in a battle, or even a fight. But that Felisaro had to come from somewhere.” I point over the hill. “And if I can get to his ship, maybe he’ll help me get out of here. You get it, right?”

Sorren ran a paw over his head. “I can’t just send you with some random Felisaro. He could be working for or with the Serpenree, for all we know.”

“I’ll be fine,” I tell him. I try to give him a confident grin and flash the dagger in my hands, wrapping my thumbs around the hilt. “Besides, I’ll have this.”
For a brief moment, I worry he’s not going to let me leave. Then he sighs. “Fine. But I’m going with you. The rest of the Lupinari can hold their own without me.” He motions me forward. “Lead the way, Rina.”

Surprised and wary, I lead Sorren through the battle, watching out for Quelin and other Serpenree. He does a good job at using his sword while he runs, slashing and bashing the lizards without a glance. I hope desperately that the Felisaro is still here- Sorren and maybe all the Lupinari wouldn’t be able to protect me if I remain on Lacertilia. I need to get out. I need to find home. Otherwise, I’ll be here serving the stuck-up Serpenree for the rest of my life.

When we finally break free from the battle, Sorren glances around. “The hill over there?” he asks, pointing. I nod. “Alright. You might want to take the hood down. It makes you look like one of those magic Serpenree… but a Lupinari.”

I fidget with my paws. “That’s not such a good idea. I think taking the hood down would make things worse.” He cocks his head and gets ready to speak, but I cut him off. “I’ll explain later. Come on, let’s go meet this Felisaro!”

Sorren looks a little confused, but to my relief, he follows without asking any questions. I like him already, but it feels wrong leaving Quelin, even if right now he wants to kill me, or at least is going to. This thought is just leaving my mind when Sorren’s eyes widen. He reaches towards me with a paw, but a second later a sharp pain shoots through my leg. I look behind me to see Quelin, his spear piercing me just above my hind paw. I jerk away, drawing in my injured leg with a wince.

He stares at me without moving. Sorren growls and tries to leap forward, but I grab his tail. “No! Don’t hurt him!”

He whips around with a scowl. “This fool Serpenree speared you, Rina. Why not hurt him?”

I sigh and peer at my leg. It is bleeding, but not too badly, though the pain is biting. “I just don’t want him- anyone to die. Not because of me.”

Sorren growls. “Then let it be because of me. This is war, Rina. He’s a soldier. He knows the risk.”

I shake my head. “No, he’s not a soldier. Not anymore. He was guarding me. Just doing his job. Come on, Sorren, and leave him here.”

Quelin grunts. “You can’t leave. You have to stay and help the injured.”

An unbidden growl escapes my throat. “I don’t have to do anything for you, Quelin. You’ll do just fine on your own. Find another healer.”

I start to turn away, but he lurches forward and grabs the end of my cloak. “I won’t be fine. They’ll kill me if I let you go.”

Sorren shoots him a warning glare. “Let her go, Serpenree.”

Quelin hisses, yellow venom dripping from his fangs. “Don’t think you can take me in a fight, Lupinari. I was a soldier. I can take both of you at once.”

“Is this fight worth your death?” Sorren challenges.

Quelin scowls. “I will die anyway. She is my job now. Watching her. And if she leaves, they won’t hesitate to kill me.”

Sorren growls, turning to me. “Let this fool Serpenree die. What is his life among thousands of dead Lupinari?”

I sigh. “Let’s go, Sorren. At least give him the chance to brave the other Serpenree. I don’t want to be responsible for his death.”
Quelin seethes with rage. “You will have caused death either way, Lupinari! Don’t think I won’t come after you.”

Sorren brings his blade down on Quelin’s foot, and I look away just as the Serpenree roars and releases my cloak. No doubt it will be hard to walk, and I hope that is enough to stop him from following us. I walk away, refusing to look back. Sorren follows behind, keeping his sword aimed at Quelin until we are a good distance away. I glance down at my leg. The bleeding has quickened, but it still isn’t close to fatal. Looking back at Sorren, I nod down at the wound.

“We’ll have to get it wrapped at some point,” I say. “It’s fine for now. Hopefully this Felisaro can help us.”

Sorren nods, thrusting his sword back into its scabbard. “He can be easily persuaded.”

I try not to roll my eyes. Do all soldiers have to be so growly? Turning back towards the hill, I keep walking. I feel naked outside without my satchel. If only I had it, I could get rid of this limp and be useful to Sorren, wherever we’re going.

Cresting the hill, we spot the ship. It’s not small, but it isn’t really big either. The ship is silver and sandy yellow, colors I don’t see a lot on Serpenree. The Felisaro is fixing a smoking panel along one side of the craft. How he’s doing it, I don’t know. Repairing ships is not a skill of mine. In fact, the only time I’ve been on a ship is on my way from Lupus to Lacertilia, and that I barely remember.

I try to shout to him, but Sorren puts a hand over my mouth. “Wait. We have to get close enough, so he doesn’t just bolt when he sees us.”
The Felisaro aren’t cowards, at least not most of them, but I nod reluctantly. Sorren’s older, and might have been in charge of me if I’d really grown up on Lupus. He seems pleased that I obeyed and leads the way. The Felisaro is on all fours holding what looks like a wrench in his teeth when we approach him. Our sun, Blasyx, is just barely past its peak in the sky, peering through the storm clouds.

Sorren coughs. “So… What’s a Felisaro doing on Lacertilia?”

The Felisaro jumps a few feet into the air, lands, and turns around with wide eyes. I notice he stands on all fours, and as far as I can see he has no thumbs. Maybe that’s why he had the wrench in his mouth. He relaxes a little when he sees us, and he drops the wrench out of his mouth. “Oh. I thought you were a Serpenree.”

I try to look around him to see what he’s fixing. A jumble of wires and metal and flashing lights lies underneath the panel, and I decide not to ask. Turning my attention back to the Felisaro, I notice his brown fur, with red-brown and light brown stripes crossing through it, all the way out to his thick tail. He has large ears, wears reddish armor and a dagger strapped to his right front leg, and his deep green eyes watch me curiously.

“We are Lupinari,” Sorren says, which I think the Felisaro has figured out by now. “What happened to your ship?”

The Felisaro shrugs. “I crashed it. Just a minor fix, I think. I kind of landed in a roll down that hill.” He nods towards the hill opposite of the one we crossed, where the ship has uprooted grass on its way down, leaving a path of dirt.

“Well, I’m Rina,” I tell him. “This is Sorren. Who are you?”
He gives me an odd sort of grin. “Dune.”

I put my hand absent-mindedly to my cloak’s hood, making sure it has stayed in place. “This might be asking a lot, but does your ship have room for two more? We really need to get out of here.” I glance at Sorren. “Well, at least I do.”
I try not to think about the consequences if the Serpenree catch me. Torture? Death? I shiver. Nothing would be able to stop them. The Serpenree don’t show any mercy to halflings, Arcanin or not. I’m just a healer. They can find someone else who can find the right kinds of medicine. And Quelin wouldn’t even care if I died, besides the fact that he would probably lose his life, too. The thought stings, but I know it’s true. That’s just how the Serpenree are.

Dune looks from the ship, to Sorren, and finally back to me. His eyes fall on my injured leg. “You’re hurt.”
I frown. “It’s nothing. Just grazed by a spear.”

Dune stretches out his neck like he’s trying to see above the hill to the battle. “By the looks of that cloak, you’re a prisoner,” he said. He studies Sorren for a moment. “And you’re a soldier. What are you doing away from the battle?”

Sorren still has a hand on the hilt of his sword, which I can tell is making Dune nervous. “I am here to help Rina. I can’t just send her off with some random Felisaro.”

Dune narrows his eyes. “Hey! I just told her my name. Which, by the way, makes just about one person I actually know, not counting you.”

I cock my head. “Really? That has to get kind of lonely, traveling around on your own.”

Dune shrugs again. “I guess.” He thinks for a moment. “You know what? I wouldn’t mind the company.” He nods at Sorren. “I mean, as long as he doesn’t try to kill me.”

Sorren gives a kind of half smile, taking his hand off of the sword’s hilt. “Only if I have to.”

Dune looks a little wary. I roll my eyes. Soldiers.

“Okay,” I say, drawing out the word. “Thanks, Dune. You’ve pretty much just saved my skin.”

Dune grins at me, then turns, twists a couple bolts, and screws the panel back into place. It looks tough to use his mouth like that, but his sharp teeth probably grip well. “There, that should do it.” He tosses the wrench through the ship’s door, and it lands with a clang. “Welcome to my humble home. I call her the Ombryn.”

“Why?” Sorren asks, wrinkling his snout.

Dune looks embarrassed. “I probably shouldn’t have told you that, but just keep your mouths shut. The Felisaro would really kill me if they knew. Ombryn means ‘good fortune.’”

I smile, trying to figure out what he just said. “Well, hopefully it brings us good luck, then.”

Limping aboard the ship, I can’t help but stare around in surprise. I’ve never seen so much technology in one place. The dashboard is covered with buttons and lights that make no sense to me. A bed along with a few blankets rests in the back left corner, right beside a bookshelf lined with thick volumes. Why Dune was afraid of Sorren’s sword, I have no idea. The wall of his ship is lined with what look like guns, but I would have no idea how to fire them. I doubt even Sorren would. Maybe Dune wanted it that way.

“Impressive,” Sorren says with a nod. “Different from the Felisaro vessels I’ve seen.”

Dune grins. “I added a few tweaks of my own. She started out pretty much a pile of scraps, but now she’s unstoppable.” He walks to the front and pushes a few buttons, and a flashing red light comes on above his head. Smoke rises from a panel on the wall, making him cough. He growls. “No, no! Come on, girl!”
I blinked at him. “Wait. It can still fly, right?”

“I thought she was unstoppable. She’s supposed to be.”  Depends on what you mean by fly. Here on Lacertilia? It will fly like a Falcor. In space? Not so much.”

Sorren’s ears prick as he hears the triumphant hissing of the Serpenree. “Can you fix it? We don’t have much time.”
Dune’s ears flatten to the top of his head. “It’s not that easy. I’ve been on this ship for years. It’s my home, and I know it.” He glares at the panel. “At least it was. That panel controls a good part of the ship. There’ll be a lot of fixes in the wiring, and in the radar…” He trailed off, staring into space. “We need a new ship.”

“Where are we supposed to find a new ship?” I ask. “It’s not like they grow on trees.”

Sorren peers out the ship’s large doorway. “Not that it would help. This place is a wasteland. No trees at all.”

I look up at him. “It’s not a wasteland. It’s just…” I stop, a little confused as to why I am arguing for Lacertilia. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Dune’s eyes scan the Ombryn. “We’ll have to come back for the supplies, you know.”

“Won’t there be supplies on the new ship?” I ask. “They’re normally ready just in case.”

Dune shrugs again. “Yeah, but not this kind of supplies. There’s some valuable stuff still on my ship.” He takes one last look around, then walks out the door. I’m pretty sure I hear him sniff before he covers it with a cough. “The Ombryn was a great home. I’m sure gonna miss her.”

Sorren shakes his head, following the Felisaro. “It’s a ship. I think you’ll be okay.”
Walking after them, my tail flicks nervously. Going back wasn’t an option just minutes ago. I know it most likely means death. And yet, to escape death, the only option is to return. My mind is racing, trying to come up with an alternative, but I know there isn’t one. The grim weather of Lacertilia matches my mood. If only I knew my magic, the magic that had imprisoned me here in the first place. Why couldn’t I have been born as a normal Lupinari? Halflings were practically born to struggle.

My leg protests with every step, until finally I stop. We’re reaching the top of the hill now, and I see my tent. “I know this is going to sound crazy,” I say, knowing full well it probably isn’t worth it. “But my satchel’s in there, and if I’m going to be useful, I need what’s in there for my leg.”

“In the tent?” Dune stretches his legs. “You’d better be ready to run.”
Sorren scoffs. “A Felisaro telling a Lupinari to be ready to run. Lupinari are born to run.”

I nod quickly. If I try hard, I could usually keep up, but if they’re at a full sprint, I know I’ll slow us down. Luckily, they haven’t mentioned anything about my thicker-than-normal fur. Just blame it on the leg. No one has to know you’re a halfling. Not yet, anyway.

Dune starts off down the hill at a dead run, all four paws gripping the ground and thrusting him forward. I follow at a slower pace, and Sorren stays with me. I give him a grateful smile and set my focus on the tent. The satchel should be just inside the door. If I can just get in-

“The healer!” I flinch but keep running. A Serpenree- by his black armor I assume a commander- is pointing in my direction. “One of you fools go grab her and make sure she stays at her post!”

Dune reaches the tent, and Sorren and I are only a few yards behind. A few Serpenree soldiers look our way, but they’re too invested in the battle to leave. Quelin and a guard standing at the border of the city are rushing towards us.

Sorren growls deep in his throat. “I knew I should have killed that Serpenree when I had the chance. He’ll be the death of us!”

I don’t respond. I don’t want to think about Quelin right now. Unfortunately, all I have to think about is Lacertilia, and the Serpenree, and my traitorous job. Hopefully this will work and I’ll finally be free of this blasted planet.

Dune emerges from the tent, my satchel dangling from his teeth. His voice is muffled as he yells, “Come on!”

He tosses the satchel to me and I dive to catch it. Realizing I’m still tightly gripping Sorren’s dagger, I shove it into the inner pocket of my cloak. The Felisaro draws the dagger from the scabbard at his shoulder with his teeth and charges the Serpenree guard. Sorren draws his sword, keeping an eye on Quelin as we run.

Stop, I think at my guard. Just stop. You don’t have to get hurt.

Quelin doesn’t answer my thoughts.

Forging ahead, I trust Sorren to handle Quelin. I can’t make his decision for him. If he wants his heart at the end of Sorren’s sword, so be it. He’s probably killed too many Lupinari to count.

Dune doubles back, spinning around to run beside me. The Serpenree guard is motionless in the grass. “You know the city,” he says, panting. “Where are the ships?”

I draw a map in my mind. “It would have to be on the far side of the city. I’ve only ever been on this side, but I’ve seen ships taking off from there.”

Dune nods, setting his jaw. A thin line of blood trickles from a small gash at the base of his ear, most likely from the Serpenree guard’s spear. He’s lucky it didn’t catch him in the eye. Maybe if we make it to the ship I can try to stop the bleeding.

Sorren runs right behind us, and I’m glad to see Quelin has stopped. He can’t defeat the three of us at once without serious risk.

As the ground underneath us changes from grass to stone, I notice the wind is picking up. Mere moments ago it had been a fairly gentle breeze, but now it whips through my cloak. Fat raindrops land on my fur, and I shake them off. There are two kinds of weather on Lacertilia- storms and really big storms. I hope this isn’t becoming the latter.

With the battle behind us, now all we have to do is steal a ship.

 

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

[LandriC]

@kyronthearcanin

Nice job on your chapter two! (I’m super invested now, by the way. I’d totally already be on chapter fifteen if this was published. XD)

Okay, a couple of things that are jumping out at me on my first read-through…

1. I think you could use a bit more battle description. Maybe I got lost somewhere, but exactly what started this fight? (Sorry if I missed something!!) Who’s in command of each side and are they important? I know this fight specifically doesn’t play into the story too much, but I feel like those parts could use a little fleshing out. One thing that I’ve learned through novel writing (especially in the fantasy world): if you’re going to mention a battle, even if it’s quick, people will want more details.
2. I wasn’t sure how to picture the ship. What exactly does it look like? Your standard flying saucer deal or is it something more high-techy and aerodynamic?
3. What does Rina look like?? I’m dying to know!! XD

I really enjoyed reading chapter two and can’t wait for more! Your concept is great and as a fellow world-builder, your solar system/races/languages are fantastic! It really gives room for your reader’s imagination to take off.

Keep up the good fight!

"To death or to victory"

[Author]

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