My New WIP Chapter 1!!

This topic has 35 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 3 years, 9 months ago by Light.

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January 5, 2023 at 8:25 pm #128030
MineralizedWritings
@mineralizedwritings
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 3200
@lightoverdarkness6

Woah, I really like it! I actually like it a lot better than the first version, and I liked the subtle hint something wasn’t right with him wincing in pain on the bus. Keep up the great work!

"Past or future... let them be."
January 6, 2023 at 1:37 pm #128096
Esther
@esther-c
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 3889
@lightoverdarkness6

I love this version a lot more than the first version!! I could feel the sibling dynamic even more and connected with Iris and Asher more easily. I can’t wait to read more if you ever share!!

Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
January 8, 2023 at 11:02 pm #128508
Felicity
@felicity
- Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
- Total Posts: 812
@lightoverdarkness6

Yes! The last part about Iris’ memories was so touching. Good work!

He must increase, but I must decrease.
January 9, 2023 at 8:45 am #128528
Light
@lightoverdarkness6
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1657
@mineralizedwritings @esther-c @felicity

Thank Y’all!! Yeah, bc of your critiques and tips, I can already tell that I’m improving!! Thank you all again 😀
- This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Light.
#HugRikerSquad
January 9, 2023 at 3:35 pm #128585
Esther
@esther-c
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 3889
@lightoverdarkness6

Yay!!! That’s what KP is for! Everyone on here is great! 🙂

Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
January 11, 2023 at 9:22 am #128777
Light
@lightoverdarkness6
- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
- Total Posts: 1657
@esther-c

Yes!! Everyone’s awesome. Some of the best friends I have 🙂

#HugRikerSquad
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