Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › Critiques › Novel Critique Requests › My New WIP Chapter 1!!
Woah, I really like it! I actually like it a lot better than the first version, and I liked the subtle hint something wasn’t right with him wincing in pain on the bus. Keep up the great work!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
I love this version a lot more than the first version!! I could feel the sibling dynamic even more and connected with Iris and Asher more easily. I canβt wait to read more if you ever share!!
Write what should not be forgotten. β Isabel Allende
Yes! The last part about Iris’ memories was so touching. Good work!
He must increase, but I must decrease.
@mineralizedwritings @esther-c @felicity
Thank Y’all!! Yeah, bc of your critiques and tips, I can already tell that I’m improving!! Thank you all again π
#HugRikerSquad
Yay!!! Thatβs what KP is for! Everyone on here is great! π
Write what should not be forgotten. β Isabel Allende