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Hey, guys!!
So I wrote some fan fiction. Yep, I did it, I finally succumbed. 😂
I know some of y’all have read the Wingfeather Saga. Well, this is based off a song from WFS called “My Love Has Gone Across the Sea.” (They actually put music to it and it’s just *chef’s kiss*👌) The song is pretty much a ballad, but I decided to put it into short story form.
Critique needed!! Especially on the realism of the characters, description, pacing, and transitions. Any critique is welcomed! 😀
You don’t need to have read WFS to understand what is going on in the story. Enjoy!! 😃
My Love Has Gone Across the Sea
Meira stared across at the dark sea. Its foamy waves lapped at her feet and then receded back into the ocean’s abyss. With a caw, a lone seagull flew overhead. The chilling sea breeze played with Meira’s light brown locks. The sky blushed as the sun sank below the horizon, casting its reflection in the waters. It was absolutely beautiful.
A strong arm was suddenly wrapped around Meira’s waist. She turned and fell into her husband’s embrace. Resting in his arms, she felt safe and secure.
“I love you,” Amatus whispered into her ear.
“As do I,” Meira said in return, a slight smile on her lips. She pulled back and slipped her hand into his. They walked silently up the beach and back to their cottage. Inside it was warm and cozy. A fire crackled in the hearth as Meira placed bowls of steaming soup at the table. She sat across from her husband and watched as he ate the first spoonful of the soup.
“This is just what I needed,” Amatus said softly.
Meira swallowed a spoonful of the seasoned soup, letting it warm her from the inside out. “Was it hard down at the docks?” She asked, furrowing her brow.
Amatus sighed. The only answer Meira really needed. “Aye…” he paused for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he continued. “Meira, I’ve been thinking…”
Meira stopped eating and rested her spoon in the bowl. A sudden feeling in her gut made her worry about what he was going to say next.
“I’ve been thinking… there’s this far land that I’ve heard about. They say the soil is rich and fertile and its land is just waiting to be settled.” His eyes twinkled with excitement. “What if… what if I went? Once I buy the land, I could build a cottage and come back for you.”
Meira looked down. She blinked away tears. Leave home? Start over? Everything was just fine where they were… except for Amatus’s job. It wasn’t easy and he wasn’t getting the pay he deserved.
“How long will you be gone?” Meira asked.
“If I leave soon, I’ll be back before the first snowfall.”
A tear escaped and ran down Meira’s cheek. Ever since they had married, she had never been separated from him for more than a month. And now he would be gone for three months? She would not be able to bear it! What if there was bad weather? What if the ship wrecked and— No. He couldn’t go. She wouldn’t let him.
Yet… the way Amatus looked when he spoke of foreign lands. The twinkle in his eyes and glow of his face. He had always yearned to go explore and sail across the sea.
“And I cannot come with you?”
Amatus reached across the table and gripped her hand. “I’m sorry, my love, you cannot. I don’t know what the land will be like when we arrive. It will be a hard journey and…” he sighed deeply. He mumbled something else under his breath, but Meira didn’t hear it. She bit her lower lip and gripped his hand ever harder.
Tears glistened in her bright blue eyes. She forced a smile and somehow managed to say the words, “Whatever you think is best.”
A soft smile grew on Amatus’s face. “Thank you, Meira. I’ll be thinking it over more before I make a final decision.”
That night she lay in bed, listening to the lulling sound of the waves. Oh why had she let him decide? He would most certainly go. There was no doubt about it. Meira swallowed hard. But wasn’t true love sacrificial? True love was not selfish; it put others first. She sighed and turned to look at Amatus who was sleeping peacefully. Yes… she would willingly let him go. Her fears slightly calmed, she closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.
~❤️~
Meira awoke to the sound of seagulls. Just like every morning, she got out of bed and readied herself for the day. She made her way to the kitchen and prepared the morning meal for herself, since Amatus always left early for the docks. Maybe today he would be able to catch more fish.
Meira’s typical thoughts were interrupted by the harsh reminder that he would be leaving soon. Leaving to sail across the sea to a far off land that he knew little about. Before the fear crept in again, she straightened herself in her seat and set her jaw. Amatus would be fine. He would make it to the land safely. Then he would come back and bring her to their new home.
Her day went by slowly and she went about her daily routine of housework and cooking. The evening finally arrived and Amatus came home. He gave Meira a quick kiss. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes. “I’m going,” was all he said.
Tears welled up in Meira’s eyes and threatened to spill down her cheeks. Why was she so affected? She had been thinking about it all day, knowing that Amatus would decide to go. She simply grabbed Amatus’s hands. They didn’t speak, but only stood there in silence, their gazes locked. A few tears fell from Meira’s bright blue eyes. She finally took a deep breath and let go.
“Shall we eat?”
Amatus merely nodded, his face full of sympathy.
“When do you leave?” Meira asked, taking a bite of her food.
He sighed. “The morning after tomorrow.”
She paused. “So soon?”
“That is when the rest of the men are leaving. It’s the last vessel to leave until after the winter.”
Meira looked gently at her husband. “I will miss you, my love.”
Amatus smiled. “I will miss you more than you’ll ever know.”
~❤️~
The next day seemed to speed by. Meira helped Amatus pack for the long trip. She willed herself to stay strong. He was doing what was best for the both of them. He was doing what his heart longed to do. And she would not let him regret his decision.
The morning of his departure came upon them. Meira and Amatus walked down to the docks with their arms around each other. The docks were a bustle of activity as the ship was being loaded with food and supplies.
Meira stopped walking when her feet hit the wooden docks. Amatus turned to face her. His eyes glistened with tears in the morning sun. She hugged him tight and rested her head against his chest, letting her tears flow directly over his heart. Oh how she wished he wouldn’t leave! She rested in his arms, not wanting him to let go. Her fear overtook her again.
Amatus pulled back. “I love you, Meira.” It was the only thing she heard. He gently cupped her face in his hands and planted a tender kiss upon her lips.
She looked into his eyes. It was as if they were in their own world. The only one she saw was Amatus. “I love you, Amatus,” she said. How those simple words freed her! The love she felt for him, cast out the fear in her heart. Love was sacrificial and unselfish. It felt as if a weight was being lifted off of her shoulders. This was true love.
Amatus reluctantly let go of her and boarded the boat. He leaned against the railing and tenderly watched his wife. Meira ran up to the edge of the boat and gripped his rough calloused hand in her soft and delicate ones. They stood there in silence as the rest of the passengers boarded the boat.
The vessel was finally ready to leave. It was detached from the dock and slowly sailed away. Meira let her hand gently fall from her husband’s grasp as the boat drifted away from the dock. She knew that no distance could fully separate them. They were bound together by their love for each other.
With a smile and tears streaming down her face, she watched her love go farther and farther from her. And she stood there until the boat disappeared over the horizon.
~❤️~
The next day brought constant and steady rain. The rain washed the world and when the morning sun rose above the clouds the next morning, it danced and sparkled across the bright green grass, putting a smile on Meira’s face. As she normally did, Meira wrote out her thoughts in her journal. This time, she wove her heart’s deepest feelings into a poem:
My love has gone across the sea
To find a country far and fair
He sailed into the gilded west
And lo, my heart will never rest
Until my love returns to me
Or I set out to find him there.
The summer flew by and the leaves changed into hues of deep red, bright orange, and lemon yellow. As the north wind blew across the land, the leaves dropped to the ground and turned to a depressing shade of brown.
Meira anxiously waited for her love to return. The days were growing shorter and the wind becoming colder. Every day she looked out her window towards the west and hoped she would see a boat sailing to land… but every boat she saw did not carry her love. Later that autumn, she penned more of her poem:
Come home, come home! I sing to thee
My love, come home and rest thy head
I’ll watch for you the winter long
And sing for you a summer song
She hesitated before writing the next two lines:
And if you can’t return to me
Then I will sail to you instead.
Autumn came and went. As the first snowflakes began to fall, so did Meira’s heart. Amatus had not yet arrived as he had promised. Rarely were boats arriving in the harbor. The sea was gray and restless.
Rumors floated around the town that the group that had sailed to the new land were not going to return. That they were stranded. Yet no one did anything. No one left to go rescue them. Even inexperienced sailors knew it wasn’t safe to sail at this time of year.
Meira walked up to the window and watched the ocean’s foamy waves. A tear escaped and slid down her cheek. She must leave. She had too. She would sail and find her love even through the worst storm.
And so she packed her warmest clothes and sufficient food for the trip. Meira had enough confidence that she could sail on her own… but in the winter… She wasn’t sure she would be able to make it…
She set her jaw and tried to calm her spirit as she wrote more of her poem:
Through tow’ring wave and shriek of gale
I’ll aim my vessel ever west
And steer it by the cord that bound
My heart to yours, until you’re found.
Meira gently closed the leather cover of her journal. She placed it in the small watertight chest that she was bringing with her. Gathering her luggage, she walked out of the cottage. She pulled her cloak tight around her to protect from the biting cold.
Down at the docks, she boarded her small vessel, placing all her luggage in the small cabin in the belly of the ship. Townspeople warned her not to go, but she simply replied, “I must find my love.”
A frosty gale rocked the ship as she detached it from the dock. She adjusted the sails and with determined strides, walked to the bow of the vessel. Meira gripped the helm with her gloved hands. And she was off. There was no turning back now.
The laborious work of sailing through the unruly sea gave Meira little time for rest. It demanded her full attention. She ate when she could and attempted to get some sleep, but the constant rocking of the boat kept her from getting restful sleep.
The journey was rough, but manageable… until after two weeks of sailing. With a furrowed brow, Meira watched a row of seemingly endless dark clouds roll across the sky. She swallowed and gripped the helm harder. She was determined to save her love. Despite the oncoming storm, she kept sailing, hoping she would see land soon. She had to be close!
The sound of distant thunder met Meira’s ears. The storm was coming… and there was no way she would escape it. Setting her jaw, she looked straight ahead, continuing to sail west. Raindrops started to fall from the sky, dotting the deck with dark splotches. It continued to fall harder… and harder…
The winds picked up and Meira strained to keep control of the ship. Lightning flashed and a deep rumble of thunder made Meira wince. She had to keep going. The winds blew ever harder and the lightning flashed more frequently, giving way to even more claps of thunder. The waves splashed against the sides of the hull.
The icy rain pelted down on Meira, soaking her to the bone and causing her to shiver. She kept her numb hands tight on helm, never wavering. The waves grew high and crashed upon the deck. The boat rocked side to side as Meira strived to keep it steady. Another wave surged across the deck and Meira’s hands slipped off the helm. The helm spun, letting the ship get tossed about by the wind and waves.
The rain mingled with the tears streaming down Meira’s face. She rushed below deck to add one last thing to her poem. Her wet hands slightly smudged the ink on the page as she frantically grabbed the feather pen and ink well.
Her hands trembling, she wrote the final lines to her poem. When she did, an unexpected peace washed over her.
Taking a shaky sigh, Meira closed the leather journal and locked it back in the watertight chest. She grabbed the key and tied it to her wrist with a string. With wobbling legs and unsteady steps, she went onto the deck and fell to her knees. Her tears had stopped now. Her love for Amatus was so strong that she would willingly die for him. Somehow, a smile made its way onto her face.
Love was unselfish.
Lightning struck the mast.
As if in surrender, she held out her hands and closed her eyes, her spirit and her heart peaceful.
Love was sacrificial.
A wave climbed high and capsized the ship.
This was true love.
~❤️~
Amatus squinted in the early morning light. The sun scintillated off the ocean, casting tiny diamonds of light across the surface. The storm had passed and it looked as if nothing had ever happened. As he climbed out of the shelter, he narrowed his eyes, trying to see the debris floating up on shore. A ship must have wrecked. Seeing half a ship farther out confirmed his suspicions. It looked vaguely familiar to him, but he shrugged it off. Lots of fishing vessels looked the same. But why had this one been so far out at sea? And during this time of year?
He called for his sailing comrades who had been stranded on this island with him. Amatus left the cool of the jungle and ran across the hot sand along with the other sailors. He gasped when he saw the body of a young woman lying on the sand.
Tears welled up in his eyes. Was that Meira’s dress? No, it couldn’t be! She was safe at home… He ran faster, finally reaching the young woman. When he saw her face, he collapsed in the sand, falling to his knees.
Meira!
Seeing her there felt like a stab to the heart. Grief overcame him… he didn’t want to think… didn’t want to feel… not one tear fell from his eyes. He just stared at her beautiful face, now pale. Amatus gently lifted her head into his lap, wishing he could see those bright blue eyes one more time. He looked out at the half-sunken ship.
She had died trying to save him. The storm must have— No. He willed himself not to think of what she had been through. Amatus bent over, cradling Meira’s head. Finally, one tear escaped… and then another… He sat there for a few moments, silently crying. None of the men asked what he was doing… they all knew.
It was all his fault! If he had never left, he never would have gotten stranded on this island. Then Meira would never have felt the need to save him.
He lifted his head and looked around at the rest of the debris scattered across the sand. A locked chest was by Meira’s body. Amatus recognized it. The key was tied to Meira’s wrist. He used his knife to gently cut the string off. Taking the key with shaking hands, he unlocked the chest.
The first thing his eyes saw was her journal. He took a glance at Meira and then picked up the journal, opening it reverently. He opened it to what looked like a poem. More tears started to fall as soon as he began reading. By the time he came to the last stanza, he was sobbing uncontrollably:
And should you find my body pale
And wrecked upon the loamy shale
Rejoice, my love, and call me blessed!
In death, my love, I loved you best.
It wasn’t his fault. Meira had gone willingly. She had sacrificed her life for his. It was true love.
Amatus held Meira in his arms one last time…
And there he sat, tears spilling down his cheeks… and flowing directly over her heart.
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
OH MY GOSH THIS IS AMAZING!
I love the Wingfeather Saga, and this is just perfect! I can’t think of any critiques to give, or I would totally try to help. When Amatus found Meira like that I was just dying. Which is the exact same thing that happened when Nia started singing it for Podo, so… I think you’ve got the Wingfeather effect down! 🤣🤣
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Ahh!! Yay!!! 😆
I’m so glad you loved it!!
I’m just smiling reading through your post. Thank you so much!!! 😄 Your positive feedback means a lot! 😊❤️
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
You’re SO welcome! I’ve tried fanfics before, but they haven’t been great. 😅🤣
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
Fanfics are hard. 😅 Like, this may be the only one I ever do. XD It was easier because I got to create my own characters, instead of trying to write the author’s characters accurately. What are your fanfics of?
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Right???
I’ve done one on Wingfeather Saga. The others… Hmm. I had a fanfic on Percy Jackson before, basically just to change a bunch of things I didn’t like XD. I’ve done Wings of Fire and Berinfell Prophecies as well, but I don’t remember the rest. 😅 It’s been a while.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
@euodia-vision @awsumfaith @joy-calle
Sorry! Forgot to tag y’all! 😅
Ok, cool!! 😀
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
OH. MY. GOSH.
ESTHER!!! GIRL, THIS IS AMAZING!!! I’m just over here crying 😭😭😭😭
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍 AHHH!! Everything is so smooth, like the way she wrote the poem, I was so impressed at the way you wrote that, it’s perfect!!!!
And when he found her on the beach I was just 😭😭😭
The way she realizes that true love is sacrificial love is so perfect and so sweet ugh 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
#HugRikerSquad
Yay!! So glad you love it too!!! 😆
Sorry to make you cry, but I’m so glad that my writing can be that powerful! 🥲😄
Everything is so smooth, like the way she wrote the poem, I was so impressed at the way you wrote that, it’s perfect!!!!
Thanks so much!! 😊
And when he found her on the beach I was just 😭😭😭
I know!! 😭
The way she realizes that true love is sacrificial love is so perfect and so sweet ugh 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
Yes!! 🥹❤️ I pantsed my way through this and I was so happy with how that theme was taught to her. 🥲
Writing this short story almost brought tears to my eyes and now I’m worried for when I have to write a character death. 😬😥😭😂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!!! It’s so good!!!!!!!!!! I almost cried! (That’s saying something, cause i like NEVER cry for books and/or movies) You did so gooooood!
i hate to give a critique on it, but you asked for some. My only thing is i would have showed a little bit more of Amatus. If you said maybe why he hadn’t come for her yet, and maybe him feeling bad about it before he found her on the beach i think it would help. but even without that its still really really great! i love it so much!
"does anyone have any good ideas?"
"Oh yeah, but none for this"Yay!! So glad you love it too!!! 😆
Yes!! 😄
Sorry to make you cry, but I’m so glad that my writing can be that powerful! 🥲😄
That’s okay…I guess I’ll be alright 😭😂 Yes girl!!
Thanks so much!! 😊
You’re so welcome! 😊
I know!! 😭
😭😭😭
Yes!! 🥹❤️ I pantsed my way through this and I was so happy with how that theme was taught to her. 🥲
Yes!! You did amazing!! I love it 🙂
Writing this short story almost brought tears to my eyes and now I’m worried for when I have to write a character death. 😬😥😭😂
Oof…yeah, I feel you…WAIT who are you planning on killing off?! I must know!! (It better not be Lukas, the baby is too precious…and I know you won’t kill off Ev or Ami…)
#HugRikerSquad
I LOVE THIS SO MUCHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH!!!! It’s so good!!!!!!!!!! I almost cried! (That’s saying something, cause i like NEVER cry for books and/or movies) You did so gooooood!
Woo-hoo!!! 😆
(Same here, girl. XD)
Thanks so much!!! ☺️
i hate to give a critique on it, but you asked for some. My only thing is i would have showed a little bit more of Amatus. If you said maybe why he hadn’t come for her yet, and maybe him feeling bad about it before he found her on the beach i think it would help. but even without that its still really really great! i love it so much!
So, he hadn’t come for her yet because he was stranded. I did mention before Meira left that rumors were going around that they had gotten stranded. And this line says something about it:
He called for his sailing comrades who had been stranded on this island with him.
Maybe I’ll have to make that more clear. Thanks for letting me know! 🙂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Oof…yeah, I feel you…WAIT who are you planning on killing off?! I must know!! (It better not be Lukas, the baby is too precious…and I know you won’t kill off Ev or Ami…)
Yeah… um…
I can promise that it will not be Lukas. I think he’s going to be in a sequel with Skylar and Fynn, so neither will they die. And I would definitely not kill off Ami or Ev. (I guess that narrows it down to six charries…) If you really want to know, I can tell you over on the spoiler forum. 😏
That’s okay…I guess I’ll be alright 😭😂 Yes girl!!
Ok, good. XD
You’re so welcome! 😊
❤️
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Oooh ok, I had missed that somehow. 😅😂 I guess no critiques then, awesome job!
"does anyone have any good ideas?"
"Oh yeah, but none for this"
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