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I went through all six chapters! I’m thoroughly enjoying the story! I’m excited to see Cassion appear.
By the way, how much research did you do for all the jet tech stuff? Did you actually look into all those terms they talked about? Especially Jason’s engineering talk…
“Do what is right, let the consequences follow.” -Truth and Treason
Ooo yay! So glad!
Yes… I did…. (I have an aspiring pilot of a brother with pilot friends, so yes. XD) but I also invented this plane so I have a little leeway.
why, did something stand out that seemed incorrect?
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Yes… I did…. (I have an aspiring pilot of a brother with pilot friends, so yes. XD) but I also invented this plane so I have a little leeway.
Ah, right! I forgot about that. Neat!
why, did something stand out that seemed incorrect?
Nope, it’s actually the opposite. I was so impressed by how realistic it all sounded.
“Do what is right, let the consequences follow.” -Truth and Treason
lol. Well good.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Yay! Jonathan and Michael are back!!
These were great chapters. I can’t wait for 618 (Rory?) to meet the rebellion. (I’m assuming that will happen, anyway.)
@liberty, I think they were your comments? I really hope you’re wrong about Michael dying. ??"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
Yay! I’m glad you liked it! Yep, Jonathan and Michael are back!
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Thank you very much!
Of course! *Tips hat*
That was really helpful about the description thing. I think that makes more sense. I wonder too if I over-did the “buzz” words in dystopian literature because I was trying to cut down on description. XD I’ll totally look at that.
I get that. Descriptive words have so many different qualities to keep track of, and I get why you went with the buzz words. They feel like meat-and-potatoes words and feel nice to put in quick succession, even to me. XD
See, I feel like they were very welcoming, but Jonathan lone-wolfed himself because he didn’t like them.
That was an angle I tried to keep in mind while reading.
I mean, which characters were doing that? Not even Michael. That is def. not how I’m wanting it to come across.Evan might have been forceful, but it fit with his personality in my opinion. Like, if you could find the scenes that are making this seem like what you wrote above and explain why it comes across that way, it might be helpful.
I will do that! Just give me a bit to look over the scenes again. Right now this is mostly based on feelings I got while reading, and what I remember of the scenes. It’s definitely not a feeling I want to have.
Lol, I find the gang funny to write about, so it doesn’t seem odd that you find them funny.
Okay cool. XD Wanted to let you know in case it wasn’t what you wanted.
I am out of signature ideas
@whalekeeper
Okay awesome! That is not really a feeling I want you to have. XDAnd those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
@koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @theducktator @grcr @whalekeeper @power @hybridlore @liberty
TWO NEW CHAPTERS!!
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
Aww! Jonathan and Amber and Leo were so cute. ?
Poor 618. And 621. That government! ?
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
Yes, that was me. I don’t exactly want him to die…I just have a feeling that he might.
Poor 618. And 621. That government! ?
Hear, hear.
“Do what is right, let the consequences follow.” -Truth and Treason
Same here…
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
I know. It was so cute!!
My poor boys! They are in a sure fix.
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
@koshka @keilah-h @elishavet-pidyon @theducktator @grcr @whalekeeper @power @hybridlore @liberty
TWO NEW CHAPTERS!!
And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music
@ellette-giselle
Uh oh… KP looks weird…Great chapters!! I can’t wait to see what happens next!
"Don't shine so that others can see you. Shine so that through you, others can see Him." ~ C.S.L.
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