Help With The First Draft Blues!

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Viewing 15 posts - 31 through 45 (of 57 total)
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  • #91173
    Issabelle Perry
    @issawriter7
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 976

      @lewilliams

      *gaps* I LOVE IT!!!!!!! I’m sooooo hooked right now!!! THIS IS JUST INCREDIBLE!!!!! *dances* I’m soooo glad you shared it and I got to read it!!! This is TOTALLY a story I’d read!!! I’m already IN LOVE with the main character!! If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your MC’s name? Anyways, THIS IS TOTALLY EPIC!!!! <33 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

      God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
      TeenWritersNook.com

      #91174
      Issabelle Perry
      @issawriter7
        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
        • Total Posts: 976

        @joy-caroline

        Okay, I’m gonna be honest, I saw at the bottom of your post that my dear old Reuben died (Me: 😭😭😭😭) and kind of didn’t read the snippets BUT I wanted to tell you it’s not ’cause I thought they’d be bad, (Actually, I’m 100% CERTAIN THEY ARE EPICLY AWESOME!!!!!!!! There’s not a doubt in my mind about that!! ALL of your snippets are sooo A M A Z I N G!! *heart eyes*) it’s cause I’m saving it for when I get to read the rest of the story!! I know this is a super emotional scene and I just wanted to read it all together in the whole beautiful book!!! Which is honestly saying something ’cause I’m normally a gal who will skim ahead and be spoiled when reading. Soo, PLEASE don’t be upset with me!! I LOVE this story soooooo much!!!!!!!!! <33

        God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
        TeenWritersNook.com

        #91177
        Alexa Autorski
        @writerlexi1216
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1011

          @lewilliams

          OH MY GOODNESS! This is incredible! I’m such a fan of your writing style, too! 🙂 I’m gripped now!

           


          @issawriter7

          Awww, thank you so much! That really means a lot!! I’m thinking about posting a little, but I’m trying to figure out which part I should post! Maybe soon I’ll post some… 🙂

          Well done everybody!!! Keep up the awesome work 🙂

          #91178
          Anonymous
            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
            • Total Posts: 1379

            @issawriter7

            LOL, that’s ok. I’ll just leave it at this: it’s horrible and very sad when Reuben dies. The first snippet was his death scene, but just saying, you could read the 2nd snippet ’cause it’s after things have calmed down.

            But yeah, I totally don’t mind if you’d rather wait and not read it now. It’s a compliment that you’re willing to wait in suspense for what happens first. XD

            #91183
            Abigail.M.
            @abigail-m
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1242

              @joy-caroline @scripter-of-kingdoms @lewilliams

              Your work is AMAZING! They sound like scenes from a movie! Love it, love it, love it:D

              #91184
              Anonymous
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1379

                @abigail-m

                Thanks, Abigail! 😀

                #91192
                Abigail.M.
                @abigail-m
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1242

                   

                  Alright, so I don’t even know what to do with this scene yet. Because (I know it’s 1st draft stuff) it shows one of the many sides of my MC’s relationship with the woods and wolves. But too many of my scenes seem to involve running away or to something, which I guess I’ll have to work on…

                  But now for anyone reading this, I suppose I should explain my MC’s name. I’ve been simply calling her my MC because long ago before I started my intense research on names and their origins/meanings, I saw the name ‘Mejia’ somewhere. In my head, it sounded like ‘My-juh’ (which isn’t how it’s really pronounced) and I used it for my character as a filler name for the time being. But there’s the little fact that the name ‘Mejia’ is Spanish and my MC is Russian. Now the only reason I keep the name currently is strictly for the drafting stages and because I’m having difficulty finding a replacement name that I like. I could use ‘Majia’ but I think that I’m going to have to do some more research and create a name with a Russian angle to it, to get the pronunciation I like.

                  So anyway, you’ll have to forgive the name’s temporary origin mixup. Here is a snippet from TSW:

                   

                  Mejia ran harder as she heard the thrum of the pack’s paws beating faster and faster behind her. The sky was lucid, the tall birch trees indifferent to her problems, as she searched all corners of her vision for an escape.

                  Ahead was the ravine with the rotting log. She never much cared for crossing that ravine… not that she had a choice or anything like that, just then.

                  She barely slowed her pace as she crossed the rift in the earth that meant she was running on the log now. 

                  She was halfway across when she realized the excessive amount of ice that had formed on the wood. But it hadn’t slowed the pack as their claws dug ruthlessly through it.

                  Mejia ran harder still but slipped, and was only saved by an outstretched branch as the wolves thundered past above her.

                  She looked up and was met by the gaze of a huge wolf. Mejia froze, unsure of what to do. But the wolf did. He took hold of Mejia’s glove and dragged her up the log and to the ground.

                  Mejia rose, her sides heaving, her hand tense on her sword’s pommel, wondering what the wolf would do next. 

                  But it simply sneezed and turned tail, following the rest of its pack.

                  ‘Huh’, Mejia thought to herself.

                  I guess that just goes to show that you can never really tell about wolves.

                  #91203
                  Issabelle Perry
                  @issawriter7
                    • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                    • Total Posts: 976

                    @abigail-m

                    GURL!!! THIS. IS. EPIC!!! WHOO!!! I LOVED this scene just a TON!!! <33 Especially the part when she reaches for her sword. I have some strange obsession with characters and swords. XD I’m sooo glad I got to read this!!!!! Keep up the AWESOME work!!!! <33

                    And good luck trying to find the name for your MC!!!!

                    God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
                    TeenWritersNook.com

                    #91204
                    Abigail.M.
                    @abigail-m
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1242

                      @issawriter7

                      Thank you! 😀 I’m super glad you liked it! (I have an obsession with characters and swords too) XD

                      #91206
                      Kads
                      @scripter-of-kingdoms
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 765

                        @abigail-m

                        WHOA! I LOVE that! That’s really good. I could see it play out in my head! 😀 I want to read some more of that!

                        staring at the fields
                        if nothing's really real
                        i'll make the winter now my home

                        #91219
                        Abigail.M.
                        @abigail-m
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1242

                          @scripter-of-kingdoms

                          Thank you:) I’m so glad that you liked it! I think I need to edit it some though.

                          #91247
                          GodlyFantasy12
                          @godlyfantasy12
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 6645

                            @abigail-m what about Maya or Maia?

                            #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                            #ProtectMarcel
                            #ProtectSeb

                            #91257
                            Alexa Autorski
                            @writerlexi1216
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1011

                              With everybody posting their writing, I thought I’d step out of my shell and post some of mine! Note that this isn’t the final draft (obviously), so I’m sure there’s room for critiquing. And I know it’s slow, but I truthfully think a slow opening is necessary. But there’s totally more action later on! 

                              Sorry it’s lengthy, but here’s the beginning of ‘Fortitude’ 🙂

                              (By the way, I’ll split it up into two posts so that it’s not overwhelming…)

                              Chapter One : Mirror

                              She had fallen asleep one thousand years ago. Pillars of crystals confined her within the ice, and she could see nothing but shades of gray—a blank hole where an old life had once been. Her fingers were numb as they felt the melted ice, and when the ice split, she felt the wind caressing her blond hair, with soft voices in the back of her mind.

                              The moon’s fragile light, mirrored by the crystals, moved to the wall of ice, which had been formed for thousands of years. It was here where the girl was suspended, unconscious, with her thoughts melting from her mind.

                              For the first time in one thousand years, her eyes began to blink into this new world, though it was murky, with drifts of light wavering in and out of her vision. She tried to move her hands, but an opposing gravity confined her back, keeping her wrists bound tightly like an invisible rope.

                              She felt herself gliding forward by some mysterious, paranormal force, which lifted her from the ice to the stone ground. She cradled her stiff hands as she stumbled back on the stone floor, and then wiped her eyes. When she focused on the crystals around her, she whispered, “Where am I?”

                              Her heart fluttered, and a wave of some unknown memory gripped her. Was there anyone out there who knew where she was? From what she could tell, the cave looked like it had been left alone for thousands of years.

                              She found a satchel over her shoulder, and on her right hand, she found a tattoo, which was a little pointed tree with long branches and the beginning of blossoms, and roots crawling down like fingers.

                              “That’s odd…” she said.

                              The wind brought a flurry of air through the crystals, and sections of the stone floor had craters of undulating water. Above all, however, it was calm and quiet inside.

                              What is this place? she thought. How long have I been asleep in here?

                              She took a panoramic view of her surroundings before finding her way out. The rocks served as her way out, arching up, where she could see some promising light. She climbed the rocks, her boots slipping on the ice, and in the crystals she could see her reflection in the mirrored glass.

                              She stared into her own, grey eyes, yet it felt like a stranger behind those crystals. Long, wavy blond hair went over her grey dress, and she pressed her finger to the crystalline dust fogging up her reflection, which made it melt through her fingertips like snow.

                              Who was she? Why didn’t she remember?

                              #91259
                              Alexa Autorski
                              @writerlexi1216
                                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                • Total Posts: 1011

                                She shielded her eyes with the back of her hand as she stepped from the crystal cave and on the ground of a woodland, where there was a clearing. There were trees with pinkish red leaves and white bark, and wind that hinted the approaching fall season. In the clearing, she found a monolith, which looked like a twelve-foot tall stone standing upright out of the ground.

                                Her fingers dug into the statue, which had a sketch of a little, pointed tree with thin branches—identical to the tattoo on her hand.

                                But when she touched the monolith, it confirmed a counterpart between them. Her hand and the monolith lit up suddenly, and a wave of electricity went up her fingers as she went paralyzed, her eyes going white.

                                A soothing voice bellowed from the clouds, ripping through her trance and echoing in her head. The ground trembled under her.

                                Little one, said the voice, you must listen to this, because what I am about to tell you may be the most important thing you will ever know. If you should tell anyone about this, then you would be in grave danger. You have been unconscious for one thousand years in this crystal cave, and your memory has been wiped from your existence. 

                                You are Caira May Watson, the Prodigy, who will be the fate of our world. It is your duty to calm the fears of the people, to save them from the curse. I can only tell you this: You mustn’t tell anyone of your special power, for even you don’t know of it yet. 

                                And with that, I can say no more.

                                #91300
                                Abigail.M.
                                @abigail-m
                                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                  • Total Posts: 1242

                                  @writerlexi1216

                                  WOW! That was excellent! Your except kept me hooked from beginning to end 😀

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