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  • #179972
    Keilah H.
    @keilah-h
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 4918

      @linus-smallprint I have IDEAS!!

      Since the predominant race besides humans in most of my story universes is a dragonlike one, I like the idea (and the horse one is cool too, I’d use it)! I have two different dragon concepts for you, I’ll share them in a bit.

       

      • For South or Central America, would a parrotlike race work? They could, perhaps, be expert mimics, able to learn the other creatures’ languages quickly and possibly copy their technology, but they aren’t very good at coming up with original ideas.

       

      • For the Arctic, how about a tough, hardy polar bear or arctic fox society? They’re quite cut off from the rest of the creatures since they can only live in the cold.

       

      • The oceans can have a dolphin or whale species. They’re haughty and believe they’re smarter than humans (but aren’t really).

       

      • There are two types of dragon I’ve thought of. I don’t think you should use both, otherwise you’ll have too many lizard-inspired species, but you can use either one:

      –Asian Flying Dragon Lizards. They simply glide rather than fly. I have a fantasy species called Lacertans inspired by this. You can take the name if you like it.

      –Actual dragons. These would probably be European. The character on my profile picture is how I’d imagine this species being, but you can make them however you want.

       

      • The horse species would probably derive from Asia or Europe. (Despite scientists’ claims that horses are from North America, went extinct there and spread to the Eastern Hemisphere later, that theory is based upon evolutionary claims and doesn’t take into account the fact that horse/donkey ancestors spread from the Ark’s landing site in Eurasia outward.)

       

      • Another South/Central American species could be inspired by dart frogs. I didn’t see anything forbidding amphibians in your rules, so….They could perhaps be climbing creatures who either are masters of chemistry or actually generate poison somehow.

       

       

      also I love both Australian accents and lizards, so the gorbs are really cool to me lol. I can imagine one of my characters being one.

      Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

      #179984
      TheArcaneAxiom
      @thearcaneaxiom
        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
        • Total Posts: 1299

        @linus-smallprint

        KP deleted my post😭😭😭

        Ok, here we go again.

        Maybe, I do like nature as well though, so the country that this story takes place in has mountains to the west and praries to the east with forests in the middle. Trees are common in their cities. The capital, Pryde, has a river valley with paths that connect all the way through the city.

        Cool, so it’s balanced with a little more green. Let me guess, Pryde is primarily inhabited by the Lyens?

        Yeah, that’s sort of how it works. The more you use it, the more crow-like you become. My protagonist has used some magic, which has resulted in his hair darkening to black and while it is still hair, it has started to behave more like feathers. His eyes have a shade of purple to them and he has actual feathers growing on his right elbow, which he keeps hidden. However, the transformation that will turn the wizards completely into a monster could happen any time a wizard uses a spell, even if he still is mostly human, making any wizard unpredictable and dangerous.

        Cool! What’s his arc like? Net positive or negative? Is it burdensome, where there’s a end justifies the means, or is it redemptive, where he changes in the end? Or is it something else?

        I am also developing an extension of this magic as well, which finds a way around the complete wizard transformation. I am doing this because sometimes sin looks good and it looks like there are no consequences. There will still be a consequence to using this type of magic, and it still makes the user become more beast-like, it just doesn’t cause them to behave like mindless monsters. I am playing with the idea of memory alteration for this.

        Interesting, so if I’m getting this right, you’re exploring multiple ways one could fall. One can give into carnality, while others give into pride and increasing intellect, but increasing mal intent.

        All the races are descendants of humans and are cursed. However, the way wizards are cursed is different from the way other races are cursed. These other creatures were cursed for stopping the crystals from using their energy for what it was meant to be used for, closing down gates to our world. However, this happened so long ago that it is now only hinted at in myths and mythologies. Wizards, on the other hand, become cursed for bending their energies to do what they want. Wizards also do not have children. I will admit, when coming up with the origin stories for the other species, I was more trying to figure out how they came to be than thinking of how the magic there represents sin.

        Ok, so why were they cursed for doing that, and why did they do it in the first place? Can other creatures turn into wizards as well? Are there normal humans? Where were they when the gates closed and everyone was cursed?

        Thank you! I’m not really developing languages for them, but they do have different languages. The lyens and the lands they conquered speak Rorian. The characters in my story will speak this. The gorbs instead speak Inglish, which is like English and they would be able to communicate with us clearly, they just use phonetic spelling and have an overdone Australian accent. Kentors and kunulf’s native language is Silvasian. When I come up with the occasional word for that, I like to look at Latin and Cree words and combine them into words for this language.

        Interesting, so how did the gorbs get what is essentially modern english, as well as latin letters?

        Yeah, you got the right picture for branten, except remove reptilian features. Hissing Cobba Birds is just a nickname for Canadian Geese.

        Oh, that makes sense, sorry, lol!

        Your Kirrtes idea sounds interesting. I never want to touch that sword.

        Thanks! Yeah, I wouldn’t wish what Liren’s going through on anyone. (Even though I’m the one putting him through that😅)

        I would like to hear about the creatures you have in your world.

        Ooh, ok, here’s the list:

        Omialia(oh-mee-ah-lee-ah), my third era has the most creatures I’ve made. To understand them, I’ll give a quick explanation of the world at this point. Imagine a cluster of planetoids that each have their own gravitational influence. This makes traversing this world very difficult, so the body plans of the creatures are very optimized.

        Siem(See-em) (and others of the same body plan): The Siem to us would essentially look like a half sheep half kangaroo. The reason the Siem and other creatures use specifically a kangaroo type body shape is because they need to be able to jump high enough to escape their local gravity field, and fall into another.

        Darrak( Da-(r trill)-ak): coming from the Rrajlan word for stone, Darru, the Darrak is essentially a giant beast reminiscent of a gorilla with a tale, and a strange head structure with no eyes, and a rocky armor covers its body, mixed with fur. They live near the Alunakan, which is in constant darkness, so they rely on other methods than sight. The gorilla type build comes about because of the very large arms. The arms together are actually more than half the body mass. Usually it walks on all fours, but the purpose of this is to hoist it’s arms up, and stand upright, using the tale as a third leg, and in most cases, because of its size, its arms will enter another gravity field. Because the arms are heavier, it will then essentially fall upwards, crash on its knuckles, then fall into normal position again. So it’s a mechanism of size, strength, and mass it utilizes to travel.

        Omialian birds (I don’t have any particular example yet): While I have no flushed out creature, most bird-like and other winged animals would actually use a hummingbird approach to flying. The mechanism of the figure eight wing allows the bird to traverse space in unique ways, including flying upside down. When a creature is flying in Omialia, where it is constantly entering different gravitational influences, it would need wings of this specific kind of versatility.

        Mia’em(mee-ah(stop)-em): the mia’em is a creature that kind fly in Omialia in a completely different way. Instead of working with the different pulls of gravity as a hurtle to get over, it uses that very mechanism as a solution. They are essentially the dragons of omialia, but they are more specifically akin to eastern lungs, so they are large serpentine creatures. They only have front arms, and no legs. Because of their massive size and shape, they are actually pulled on multiple gravities at the same time, so they globally cancel out, leading it to smoothly glide around the omias. It uses its front arms to grasp omias, and pull itself forward. Additionally, its bones are actually made from the same material that’s in the omias, being the source of gravity within the Sceptrum, meaning that they essentially become a living omia, hence the name mia’em, rooted from omia sem, meaning omia being (approximately). Because of this, a lot of flora and fauna grow and live on it, and use it to hitch rides and the like.

        Outside of Omialia.

        Phantoms: In my first era, there’s these 4-dimensional fractaline entities called phantoms. They pluck people out of the 3d plane, and wreak all sorts of havoc. Survivors who somehow are placed back are usually malformed beyond saving. The protagonist in this era survives, but is flipped, becoming his mirror self, the consequences of which is the premise of the story.

        The walking sketch: There’s this one creature I’ve been pondering over, but I haven’t added it anywhere yet. It’s essentially incredibly thin and incredibly long. Maybe around a few hairs think, maybe more, but they can potentially be miles long. This length is usually coiled up though in intricate ways. It essentially becomes a natural shape shifter, knotting itself into whatever it wants to imitate. I like to think of them looking like moving sketches of whatever their imitating.

        A creepier counterpart I’ve also been considering is the same basic idea, but instead of using their unique shape for imitation, they use it for parasitism. Essentially weaving themselves through the body of some other creature, and control it like a puppet.

        Shal’le(shah-le-le): I’ve also have one intelligent race other than humans (though I plan on making more). The Shal’le seem mostly human, though visual distinctions can be found in their red hair, skulls larger than average, and a slight crease on the back of their skull, separating the two hemispheres. What really separates them from humans however is the way they think. Where we have one line of thought, they have two independent lines of thought, while maintaining one cohesive sense of self. Think of multiple personality disorder and split mind, but a whole race and culture. This impacts their languages, like S”halek, in interesting ways. The speak such that there is one line of speech with a second line encoded into the first. This allows them to have two separate conversations at the same time. I could say “Nice weather we’re having” and “is that gum on your shoe?” simultaneously as one phrase. Humans are able to understand these languages to a degree. It’s not that hard to learn the structure, and how to read and write, and even pronounce sentences, but humans need to think it through, and write it out like a math problem, so it’s highly unlikely for any to be able to hold a fluid conversation. Anyways, because of the way they think, the Shal’le are amazing multitaskers, and problem solvers, being able to think from multiple angles. Unfortunately, this all comes at a great cost. Their children suffer extreme indecisiveness. Because they have two sides that think differently, and think different things are better, it’s hard to decide on anything. To add salt to the wound, this actually makes them the perfect slaves. If you kidnap a Shal’le when their young, they will be really easily controlled, even more than a human child, because they can’t even think straight. Not only are they very controllable, they are again great multitaskers, and can comprehend complex concepts. You can have smart slaves without the determent smart slaves usually comes with, so they can be useful in a variety of tasks that humans wouldn’t be. Because of this, parenting for the Shal’le is even more vital and fundamental than human parenting. Parents have the role of teaching their children Rrachelek, which is self mastery.

        I can also mention the White-Lies and Nameless-Ones, but they are not unique to my sceptre, being more cosmic beings of various sort. But I can talk about them as well if you’re intrigued.

        So that’s at least the majority of the creatures in my sceptre that I’ve dreampt up so far.

        He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

        #180106
        Linus Smallprint
        @linus-smallprint
          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
          • Total Posts: 462

          @keilah-h

          Thanks for the ideas! I think I like your parrot idea best. I will let you know if I come up with a species inspired by these ideas.

          (And yeah, I would probably make my horse race European. When I looked up where horses were natively from, I was suspicious of horses being from North America.)

          Maybe this might be best brought into a different discussion, but I would not mind hearing about some of the creatures you have come up with.

          #180109
          Linus Smallprint
          @linus-smallprint
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 462

            @thearcaneaxiom

            Cool, so it’s balanced with a little more green. Let me guess, Pryde is primarily inhabited by the Lyens?

            Yup. It is the capital of Klaw. Klaw used to be a kentor country, and that is part of why there are trees in the cities and nature is still important. Too bad the lyens lyenised most of the names of that place. Lyens tend to live in the cities, kentor in the country, and you can find humans in both. The kunulfs of Klaw live to the south, preferring to be away from the other races.

            Cool! What’s [Alan’s] arc like? Net positive or negative? Is it burdensome, where there’s a end justifies the means, or is it redemptive, where he changes in the end? Or is it something else?

            He is on a quest for redemption, and fears being drawn back in. Towards the beginning, he tries to redeem himself by becoming a hero, but as the story goes on, he instead learns to trust in The Saviour to forgive him and to help him overcome temptations to magic. So it’s a story about redemption, forgiveness, sanctification, and trusting in God.

            Ok, so why were they cursed for [Closing the portal gates], and why did they do it in the first place? Can other creatures turn into wizards as well? Are there normal humans? Where were they when the gates closed and everyone was cursed?

            My reasons for this still feel awkward, because I don’t want to make God into something he is not, and since God has not cursed anyone to make them part animal, I am not sure this is the final explanation. (Nebecunezzer is the closest we get). Perhaps I should ask people for thoughts on a different discussion, regardless, here it is my explanation.

            The reason the gates were closed was that a man named Sabtah (find him in Genesis 10:7), was frustrated with God’s curses such as the curse for Adam and Eve’s sin, the curse of the flood, and, the only one he actually experienced, the confusion of languages at Bable. He came across a portal to Ehverwyld, and went through, trying to escape. Wanting nothing more to do with God, he, and some members of his family, closed it with his wife by cutting off the crystal energies. Defending themselves, the crystals cursed both of them, turning them into the first lyens. His children, who were not involved remained human. Any children he had after that were lyens.

            Sabtah was angry with this, went kind of crazy, and started calling his curse a blessing (which is why lyens believe they are superior to all other races.) Not wanting to engage in the energy of the crystals, he scared his descendants who were still human into exploring the rest of the world, finding the other gates, and closing them. (Also, you cannot close a portal gate if you have received the animal curse already) Over the years, these were all found and closed, resulting in all of the different species. There were always some humans who were not involved, and there are still humans everywhere on Ehverwyld to this day. There were nine gates, which is why there are nine regions (see my rules for developing the races that I gave to Keilah H.). There are two regions that have two native species instead of one because those gates require more effort to close.

            Yes, any member of any species can use magic, so there are wizards who used to be lyens, kentors, gorbs, etc. Alan, my protagonist, used to be human.

            Interesting, so how did the gorbs get what is essentially modern english, as well as latin letters?

            While the gates to Earth are closed, occasionally something called inspiration, in which the crystals can transfer some information form our world into the mind of one of Ehverwyld’s occupants. It is more likely to happen to wizards since they are directly connected to the crystals.\

             

            Your creatures sound interesting and original. You have really taken advantage of your world and thought through what type of creatures would be able to survive in it. A couple of questions?

            • Do any people live on Mia’em?
            • What do you mean by your protagonist becoming his mirror self? Is he the opposite person from whom he used to be? Does everything just feel backwards for him and when he tries to turn left, he ends up turning right instead or when he tries to comfort someone, he ends up insulting them instead?
            • Can a Shal’le sing in harmony with herself?

             

             

            #180112
            Keilah H.
            @keilah-h
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 4918

              @linus-smallprint You’re welcome! I liked that specific idea too.

               

              You think we should have it in another topic? I’ll go ahead and make one….

              Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

              #180117
              TheArcaneAxiom
              @thearcaneaxiom
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1299

                @linus-smallprint

                He is on a quest for redemption, and fears being drawn back in. Towards the beginning, he tries to redeem himself by becoming a hero, but as the story goes on, he instead learns to trust in The Saviour to forgive him and to help him overcome temptations to magic. So it’s a story about redemption, forgiveness, sanctification, and trusting in God.

                Sounds like a fun plot, so would you think of this as a Narnia style allegory for addiction rehab?

                My reasons for this still feel awkward, because I don’t want to make God into something he is not, and since God has not cursed anyone to make them part animal, I am not sure this is the final explanation. (Nebecunezzer is the closest we get). Perhaps I should ask people for thoughts on a different discussion, regardless, here it is my explanation.

                Well to be fair, this is fiction. As the author you essentially play the role of God in your world, so what you say goes. However, since you’re trying to portray this as a parallel world still governed by our Father in Heaven, then it’s a fair assessment to make.

                The reason the gates were closed was that a man named Sabtah (find him in Genesis 10:7), was frustrated with God’s curses such as the curse for Adam and Eve’s sin, the curse of the flood, and, the only one he actually experienced, the confusion of languages at Bable. He came across a portal to Ehverwyld, and went through, trying to escape. Wanting nothing more to do with God, he, and some members of his family, closed it with his wife by cutting off the crystal energies. Defending themselves, the crystals cursed both of them, turning them into the first lyens. His children, who were not involved remained human. Any children he had after that were lyens.

                Sabtah was angry with this, went kind of crazy, and started calling his curse a blessing (which is why lyens believe they are superior to all other races.) Not wanting to engage in the energy of the crystals, he scared his descendants who were still human into exploring the rest of the world, finding the other gates, and closing them. (Also, you cannot close a portal gate if you have received the animal curse already) Over the years, these were all found and closed, resulting in all of the different species. There were always some humans who were not involved, and there are still humans everywhere on Ehverwyld to this day. There were nine gates, which is why there are nine regions (see my rules for developing the races that I gave to Keilah H.). There are two regions that have two native species instead of one because those gates require more effort to close.

                Yes, any member of any species can use magic, so there are wizards who used to be lyens, kentors, gorbs, etc. Alan, my protagonist, used to be human.

                I’d say this explanation works fine. Although every new group would probably know that they would turn into something after closing a gate, so it’d have to be done willingly, unless it was forced on them, perhaps by Lyens. I would also point out that this seems like a poor defense on the crystal’s part. Doesn’t really do anything for them, though if it’s simply a revenge type thing, and it’s a common troupe anyways, then sure.

                Is there a way to close the gates on our side as well? You could use that to explain things like Chimera’s and Nephilim in our world.

                While the gates to Earth are closed, occasionally something called inspiration, in which the crystals can transfer some information form our world into the mind of one of Ehverwyld’s occupants. It is more likely to happen to wizards since they are directly connected to the crystals.

                Oh, interesting. Is there any way this happens in reverse as well? Perhaps there’s reverse inspiration of say the whole history of that world, which is transferred to a young mind in this modern era, and that young mind felt inspired to write it all down as a fiction👀

                Your creatures sound interesting and original. You have really taken advantage of your world and thought through what type of creatures would be able to survive in it.

                Thanks! Yeah, I’ve dedicated a lot to the project. Been going almost 4 years now.

                Do any people live on Mia’em?

                Yes, in one of the depictions I’ve made of a mia’em, there was a little hut built on its back. I don’t think it’d be a common practice by any of my cultures, but it would make unique nomad type characters to meet. It could be seen as akin to worm riding from Dune as well though, though the mia’em are peaceful.

                What do you mean by your protagonist becoming his mirror self? Is he the opposite person from whom he used to be? Does everything just feel backwards for him and when he tries to turn left, he ends up turning right instead or when he tries to comfort someone, he ends up insulting them instead?

                Ah, sorry I didn’t explain that further. I mean his body is physically flipped right and left. His heart is on the opposite side for example. So yes, when he turns right, it will feel right to him, but everyone else will tell him he’s turning left. When he looks at writing, it will look backwards. When he looks at his friends and family, their face will look like their mirror view. Everyone else will look at him, and tell him that his face looks backwards. I wrote that he has a scare on his right wrist. It still seems like his right wrist to him, but to other people, it would now be his left.

                You’d think the impact this has on his life would be minimal. He’d just readjust himself to a different view of the world, and move on. However, there’s this thing in biology called homochirality. You don’t see this talked about in science fiction a lot, because you see people and aliens eating each other’s food, or aliens eating people and stuff like that. The issue is that this would never actually work. There’s plenty of other reasons that would be. Substances that are poisonous to one creature isn’t to another, and other things like that, but there’s a deeper problem, which again, is homochirality. What chirality is is essentially a property of molecules having this structure where they would have a left and right version. Homochirality is when only one version is produced, pure left or pure right. Think DNA. The helix is chiral, and you always see it twist one way, but not the other. The reason for this is to maximize efficiency. If a organism produced both versions, then it’d need to produce both versions of the enzyme that interacts with it. Now you have a left enzyme interacting with a right protein, so nothing happens, so you only get the right pairs by chance, which limits the whole mechanism by a factor of 3/4ths. So the whole of nature essentially agrees to specific homochiral structures, so that when you eat a fruit or an animal, you body can absorb the nutrients. This includes sugar, protein, DNA, and so on. So we come back to Tailen, the protagonist. His body has been 4-dimensionally flipped, and therefore all his homochiral mechanisms have been flipped. This means that he is biologically incompatible with the rest of his world. A fruit he eats tastes bland. It doesn’t hurt him in any way, but he gains nothing from it. He can drink water, since water is non-chiral, but that’s about it. So, he is doomed to starve, even if he’s provided an endless supply of food.

                Can a Shal’le sing in harmony with herself?

                Well a Shal’le only has one mouth. That’s what is interesting about the language, is that it functions as two while still being restricted to one voice.

                 

                He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                #180125
                Linus Smallprint
                @linus-smallprint
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 462

                  @thearcaneaxiom

                  Sounds like a fun plot, so would you think of this as a Narnia style allegory for addiction rehab?

                  Uhh… I really got to work on my magic system. This story is not about overcoming addiction, it is about overcoming sin (you are not the first to mistake it as this). While others do get addicted to magic, loving the power it gives them and how it makes solving their problems easy, my protagonist will never be addicted to magic. Warning, if you want to read my book someday, please know this is heading into spoiler territory. Alan initially gets drawn back into magic to rescue someone who it seems would be impossible to rescue without magic. He realizes he should not have done it, but he now has a problem. He now can remember magical spells (he had any spell he knew beforehand removed from his memory). This may not seem like a big deal, but these spells are all triggered by imagination. It seems to Alan the harder he tries not to imagine the spells, the more he does. Try not to think about pink elephants. You are thinking about them, aren’t you? Now imagine if when you thought of pink elephants, there is a risk that you will turn into monsters that will hurt all those around you. That is what my character has to go through. (This allows me to encourage Christians to trust God to help them overcome sins such as bad thoughts that just don’t seem to stop.)

                  There will also be times when he is tempted to give in. Instead of fighting these thoughts, why not just give in and embrace magic? There have been new forms of it discovered where the consequences are seemingly gone. This makes giving into magic look relaxing. He will also struggle with anger at some other characters and be tempted to use magic on them or when another seemingly impossible-to-solve problem comes his way, he may be tempted to use a spell again. I am hoping this story will encourage Christians to hold fast to Christ and not to give into sin no matter how hard the struggle is and to persevere even through failing to avoid sin.

                  I’d say this explanation works fine. Although every new group would probably know that they would turn into something after closing a gate, so it’d have to be done willingly, unless it was forced on them, perhaps by Lyens. I would also point out that this seems like a poor defense on the crystal’s part. Doesn’t really do anything for them, though if it’s simply a revenge type thing, and it’s a common troupe anyways, then sure.

                  Is there a way to close the gates on our side as well? You could use that to explain things like Chimera’s and Nephilim in our world.

                  Yeah, you are right, it does seem like a poor defence. The idea is to scare them off, when they see that they are losing their humanity, those closing the portal may give up. (This is actually why the kentors are less beast-like than the other races). Like I said, I was just coming up with this as an explanation as to why the different races exist. If you have any other ideas or ideas on how to improve what I already have, I would be happy to hear them!

                  It would be possible to destroy the portal on our side without being cursed. Portals are often connected to things like trees. Chop down the tree hosting the portal and it will close. However, this is only temporary and it will appear again elsewhere unless you cross over to Ehverwyld and disable the crystal’s ability to create portals, getting yourself cursed in the process.

                  Oh, interesting. Is there any way this happens in reverse as well? Perhaps there’s reverse inspiration of say the whole history of that world, which is transferred to a young mind in this modern era, and that young mind felt inspired to write it all down as a fiction👀

                  I have considered that idea. The narrator of the story lives on Ehverwyld himself. (He is also a character in the story Alan will meet at some point in book two or three). He found a way to send the story to our world. Some of the damage to the portal gates will be prepared and a couple of characters may even end up in our world temporarily. There is also some reverse inspiration. Stories of werewolves and other beastmen, mythologies of people being cursed to become animals, some of the magic that appears in fairy tales? Perhaps part of the reason these myths exist is because of worlds like Ehverwyld (Not using this to explain Nephilim though. Ehverwyld was discovered post-flood). However, Earth is the core world and things are more likely to flow from it to other worlds. Think of our world as the start of a river and other worlds are downstream.

                   

                  This idea of your character’s body being mirrored is interesting. You are definitely into hard worldbuilding. Is there another discussion somewhere on here where you have talked about your world?

                   

                   

                  #180128
                  TheArcaneAxiom
                  @thearcaneaxiom
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1299

                    @linus-smallprint

                    This story is not about overcoming addiction, it is about overcoming sin (you are not the first to mistake it as this). While others do get addicted to magic, loving the power it gives them and how it makes solving their problems easy, my protagonist will never be addicted to magic. Warning, if you want to read my book someday, please know this is heading into spoiler territory. Alan initially gets drawn back into magic to rescue someone who it seems would be impossible to rescue without magic. He realizes he should not have done it, but he now has a problem. He now can remember magical spells (he had any spell he knew beforehand removed from his memory). This may not seem like a big deal, but these spells are all triggered by imagination. It seems to Alan the harder he tries not to imagine the spells, the more he does. Try not to think about pink elephants. You are thinking about them, aren’t you? Now imagine if when you thought of pink elephants, there is a risk that you will turn into monsters that will hurt all those around you. That is what my character has to go through. (This allows me to encourage Christians to trust God to help them overcome sins such as bad thoughts that just don’t seem to stop.)

                    Gotcha, so it’s not the trial of temptation of sin, but the mere thought of sinning. This is an intersting point to make, both in this world and ours. We just don’t like intrusive thoughts, and they can be discouraging, but it’s deliberately and physically impactful to this world.

                    Yeah, you are right, it does seem like a poor defence. The idea is to scare them off, when they see that they are losing their humanity, those closing the portal may give up. (This is actually why the kentors are less beast-like than the other races). Like I said, I was just coming up with this as an explanation as to why the different races exist. If you have any other ideas or ideas on how to improve what I already have, I would be happy to hear them!

                    I would simply not phrase it as a “defense”, since this is still a common troupe in fantasy, where there’s adventurers that are cursed for stealing something, even if they get away with it. The issue is that if the crystals have the power to change the fundamental anatomy of a creature, then they could probably defend themselves much better, unless specific rules are set on how they can interact with them. This seems like the kind of curse that is simply a cruel prank though, since they can all carry on in their lives, despite needing to adapt to a different way of life. Perhaps there’s a kind of trickster character that exists there without explanation, and he’s the one that turns them all into different animals or something. There’s a lot of ways you could do something like this.

                    It would be possible to destroy the portal on our side without being cursed. Portals are often connected to things like trees. Chop down the tree hosting the portal and it will close. However, this is only temporary and it will appear again elsewhere unless you cross over to Ehverwyld and disable the crystal’s ability to create portals, getting yourself cursed in the process.

                    So it’s only possible to destroy the location of a portal, but not the portal itself. You can only truly destroy it on one side.

                    This idea of your character’s body being mirrored is interesting. You are definitely into hard worldbuilding. Is there another discussion somewhere on here where you have talked about your world?

                    Thanks! Yeah, sometimes I get a little too much worldbuilder’s fever😅 I’ve posted the first few chapters of my first draft of Tailen’s story on one forum. I’ll tag you

                    He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                    #180133
                    Keilah H.
                    @keilah-h
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 4918

                      @linus-smallprint Personally, I think of that idea a lot too–the concept of Earth being the “first world” God created, and then He created other worlds, and filled those with creatures somehow.

                      Kinda like Narnia, where Aslan brought humans in from Earth to rule it in The Magician’s Nephew. 

                       

                       

                      Now here’s the question. Was Everwylde always intended to be inhabited by humans? Because it seems a little weird for the world to just be there with no one living in it (except maybe animals?).

                      Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                      #180151
                      Linus Smallprint
                      @linus-smallprint
                        • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                        • Total Posts: 462

                        @thearcaneaxiom

                        Thank you for the suggestion of the trickster, but I kind of want to keep it as a curse if I go with the Sabtah origin story, trope or not. Why? Because of the irony. Sabtah was trying to escape curses and got cursed yet again. Perhaps some of what I was thinking is that Sabtah wanted to be separated from God, and while he could not go to a place out of God’s reach, he did get his wish in a way. Man is set apart from the animals by being made in the image of God, so when Sabtah became part lion and lost some of the attributes God has given to us when made in his image, he was in that way separated from God. So the irony is that he got what he wanted through what he was trying to avoid the curse. (The non-human races can still be saved and become members of The Faithful (as Christians are called in Ehverwyld (in order not to be preachy)), but they struggle more than humans do with understanding).

                        In addition, I’ve realized I have had a little more to this curse than I first thought. Because the portals were closed, Ehverwyld suffered a long age of darkness where they were without God until news about The Saviour found its way to their world. So Sabtah also succeeds in separating Ehverwyld from God in that way. In addition, God does sometimes punish sin and reveal his wrath to people by giving them the very thing they want (see Romans 1:18-32). Do you think this makes the curse for Ehverwyld more interesting?

                        So because of this, I would like to stick with the curse instead of having a trickster, but do you have any ideas on how to make the animal curse feel less cliche while keeping it a curse?

                        #180152
                        Linus Smallprint
                        @linus-smallprint
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 462

                          @keilah-h

                          Now here’s the question. Was Everwylde always intended to be inhabited by humans? Because it seems a little weird for the world to just be there with no one living in it (except maybe animals?).

                          Good question. I have not thought about it much. I just wanted a connected world so that any intelligent species could be a descendant form Adam. That way, they could also receive salvation from Christ (even if it will be masked with Christ being referred to exclusively as The Saviour in TNPT. Writing fantasy as a Christian author is a little weird sometimes, but there are some benefits to it which is why I write it.) Some animals are native to Ehverwyld (chogs, branten, vandergrits, and dragons (although I do suspect we did actually have dragons in our world at one point, we just call them dinosaurs today)), but I guess if there were portals on Earth, they were meant to carry things over from Earth to Ehverwyld, including spinach and people who discover it.

                          #180158
                          TheArcaneAxiom
                          @thearcaneaxiom
                            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                            • Total Posts: 1299

                            @linus-smallprint

                            Thank you for the suggestion of the trickster, but I kind of want to keep it as a curse if I go with the Sabtah origin story, trope or not. Why? Because of the irony. Sabtah was trying to escape curses and got cursed yet again. Perhaps some of what I was thinking is that Sabtah wanted to be separated from God, and while he could not go to a place out of God’s reach, he did get his wish in a way. Man is set apart from the animals by being made in the image of God, so when Sabtah became part lion and lost some of the attributes God has given to us when made in his image, he was in that way separated from God. So the irony is that he got what he wanted through what he was trying to avoid the curse. (The non-human races can still be saved and become members of The Faithful (as Christians are called in Ehverwyld (in order not to be preachy)), but they struggle more than humans do with understanding).

                            Gotcha. That’s a great thematic point. You can still make it work with the Trickster thing though, as it’d still be a curse. That’s just one of many ways you can do it though, so it’s worth brainstorming more, perhaps there’s other parallels in scripture that will make it more apparent about who or what lead to such a curse, and why.

                            In addition, I’ve realized I have had a little more to this curse than I first thought. Because the portals were closed, Ehverwyld suffered a long age of darkness where they were without God until news about The Saviour found its way to their world. So Sabtah also succeeds in separating Ehverwyld from God in that way. In addition, God does sometimes punish sin and reveal his wrath to people by giving them the very thing they want (see Romans 1:18-32). Do you think this makes the curse for Ehverwyld more interesting?

                            I’d say so. I ultimately believe that God in His love ultimately gives us what we desire, whether that is to be in His presence or not. So it makes sense that God may curse Sabtah to give him what he really wanted, which is separation.

                            So because of this, I would like to stick with the curse instead of having a trickster, but do you have any ideas on how to make the animal curse feel less cliche while keeping it a curse?

                            Nothing wrong with it being a tad cliche, you just need to do it right. That being said, perhaps another idea is there could be something related to how the crystals came to be in the first place. Maybe the crystals are actually different animal spirits housed in inanimate matter, which is how the portals work in the first place. Maybe they are bad spirits imprisoned, and used to serve that purpose. Perhaps in closing the gates, the spirits the crystals housed were released. Now being free, they curse the people, not out of anger for the people, but because in their evil and rejection of God, they wanted to make things in their own image. This could get into the theme of how the adversary seeks not to just destroy what God’s built, but to twist into his own design. This also adds to your original point of Sabtah seeking to seperate himself from God, because of God’s curses, but the only alternative is the adversary and his curses.

                            He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                            #180228
                            Keilah H.
                            @keilah-h
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 4918

                              @linus-smallprint oh yay, another person who thinks dinosaurs are just Earth’s dragons! lol

                              yeah that explanation makes sense, that maybe the worlds were always intended to be freely connected. It would explain why the portals are there in the first place, and part of why it’s so bad that they were closed.

                              Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                              #180295
                              Linus Smallprint
                              @linus-smallprint
                                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                                • Total Posts: 462

                                @thearcaneaxiom

                                Nothing wrong with it being a tad cliche, you just need to do it right. That being said, perhaps another idea is there could be something related to how the crystals came to be in the first place. Maybe the crystals are actually different animal spirits housed in inanimate matter, which is how the portals work in the first place. Maybe they are bad spirits imprisoned, and used to serve that purpose. Perhaps in closing the gates, the spirits the crystals housed were released. Now being free, they curse the people, not out of anger for the people, but because in their evil and rejection of God, they wanted to make things in their own image. This could get into the theme of how the adversary seeks not to just destroy what God’s built, but to twist into his own design. This also adds to your original point of Sabtah seeking to seperate himself from God, because of God’s curses, but the only alternative is the adversary and his curses.

                                I don’t like the idea of the bad spirit. I would like to avoid angels and demons (especially demons) in my story. This is part of the reason why I developed the crystals I wanted to avoid a demonic score of magic and I wanted to use one that felt more natural.

                                For the current way crystals form. It works like this: You know how crows like to collect things? They are attracted by the shards of the crystals and like to grab pieces for their nests. Naturally, they lose feathers when they do this. The highly condensed magical aura emitted by the crystals is then able to crystalize on the feather over time. I’ve played with the idea that this can also happen with other crovid feathers, for crows are not the only birds that take shiny objects. (This would explain why the South America region could still have these crystals in it as in the real world, there are no crows there, but there are other corvids) If I did this, the powers of a wizard could depend on the feather inside of the crystal he is connected to. Maybe if it is a crow, his powers can make people become more beast-like in thinking and appearance, if it is a blue jay, he may be able to choose when he receives Inspiration from our world. There would be some spells shared by all types of wizards.

                                I’ve also played with the idea that other animals help somehow with the formation of the crystals, but only once the process has begun. So in other words, the corvids give the crystals their internal core and other animals help with its external growth. This would explain why connecting with a crystal internally would cause one to become part crovid while trying to stop its energy from doing its thing externally would result in partially becoming a different animal. This makes it seem less like a curse, but perhaps the only important part is that it seems like a curse to Sabtah? I should mention that the animal one transforms into when interacting with a crystal externally reflects who the person is. For Sabtah, it was his pride that caused him to become part lion, although this makes it seem more like a cliche curse again.

                                Now how did these crystals come to be in the first place?  Because if they need animals to form, that would imply that they did not exist until later. I actually do not have an answer for this yet. Maybe the magical energy was only in its energy form in the early days of Ehverwyld. (like steam. Hmm, now I have an idea that this energy could have solid, liquid, and gas forms) It latter settled on feathers of crows. However, the current location that I have for the crystals is in caves, but to my knowledge crows and other animals would not go into the caves unless they felt something attracting them. This current location makes even less sense, because in my origin story, the crystals are intertwined with the roots of trees, this is how they place portal gates in the trees. The reason why I have them in caves is because I don’t want knowledge of their existence to be widely known at the start of the story. Maybe the crystals always existed, but the original ones did not have feathers in. But what would happen if someone became a wizard by connecting to a crystal without a feather?

                                I know it may seem like I am just rejecting your ideas, but I do appreciate the help and you are getting me to think about things more. Thank you for the help!

                                #180351
                                TheArcaneAxiom
                                @thearcaneaxiom
                                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                                  • Total Posts: 1299

                                  @linus-smallprint

                                  I don’t like the idea of the bad spirit. I would like to avoid angels and demons (especially demons) in my story. This is part of the reason why I developed the crystals I wanted to avoid a demonic score of magic and I wanted to use one that felt more natural.

                                  Fair enough🤷‍♂️

                                  I’ve also played with the idea that other animals help somehow with the formation of the crystals, but only once the process has begun. So in other words, the corvids give the crystals their internal core and other animals help with its external growth. This would explain why connecting with a crystal internally would cause one to become part crovid while trying to stop its energy from doing its thing externally would result in partially becoming a different animal. This makes it seem less like a curse, but perhaps the only important part is that it seems like a curse to Sabtah? I should mention that the animal one transforms into when interacting with a crystal externally reflects who the person is. For Sabtah, it was his pride that caused him to become part lion, although this makes it seem more like a cliche curse again.

                                  I’d say that could still be seen as a curse. The word curse is a bit vague anyways, and everyone carries different connotational baggage. I like the idea, but it’s entirely up to you. Perhaps the crystals use substances left by other animals, and become like those animals. It just becomes a side effect instead of something intent based I guess, but I don’t know. Or what if it’s viewed as not the crystals cursing the people, but instead something else cursed the crystals?

                                  Now how did these crystals come to be in the first place?  Because if they need animals to form, that would imply that they did not exist until later. I actually do not have an answer for this yet. Maybe the magical energy was only in its energy form in the early days of Ehverwyld. (like steam. Hmm, now I have an idea that this energy could have solid, liquid, and gas forms) It latter settled on feathers of crows. However, the current location that I have for the crystals is in caves, but to my knowledge crows and other animals would not go into the caves unless they felt something attracting them. This current location makes even less sense, because in my origin story, the crystals are intertwined with the roots of trees, this is how they place portal gates in the trees. The reason why I have them in caves is because I don’t want knowledge of their existence to be widely known at the start of the story. Maybe the crystals always existed, but the original ones did not have feathers in. But what would happen if someone became a wizard by connecting to a crystal without a feather?

                                  phase of matter stuff would be really interesting, where there’s different kinds of effects. I’m not sure I fully understand how wizards can connect to crystals yet, but perhaps since the crystal is more raw power, it could simply destroy them completely, so the feather is needed as a sort of energy holder.

                                  I know it may seem like I am just rejecting your ideas, but I do appreciate the help and you are getting me to think about things more. Thank you for the help!

                                  No worries! Sometimes you just need to hear the ideas you don’t like to think about what you do like. Sometimes there’s ideas we really like that we realize we need to get rid of for the sake of the greater narrative. It’s all in the creative process:)

                                  He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

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