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  • #116106
    Queen_of_Alvastia
    @queen_of_alvastia
      • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
      • Total Posts: 612

      @elishavet-pidyon Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

      I have a hard time not making my villains “stereotypical” that’s why I wanted to add this whole twist with Maddock. Oh! Natan in the Promise of Zion series sounds kind of like what I want to aim for with Maddock now (Yes I did just switch directions with where I take him….) Conflicted but still kind of an antagonist? IDK. I just came up with this story today so there are still quite a few loose strings to tie up, but y’all’s answers have been so helpful!!

      šŸ„°#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquadšŸ„°

      #116107
      GodlyFantasy12
      @godlyfantasy12
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 6645

        @queen_of_alvastia yes it is Paxtonā€™s mom! HerĀ name is Lilith.

        Also, I highly suggest a book called Save The Cat Writes a Novel (just maybe skip over some of the examples from books, depending on what ur comfortable reading) but itā€™s extremely helpful with character arcs, and I believe it would help you a lot!

        I honestly think making Maddock the MC is the way to go, unless the other person HAS more to say and a better view in the story. But if he doesnā€™t, then Maddock is the better choice.

        #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
        #ProtectMarcel
        #ProtectSeb

        #116108
        Koshka
        @koshka
          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
          • Total Posts: 1633

          @queen_of_alvastia

          You’re welcome! šŸ˜‰

          That could be an amazing story.

          First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
          Fork the Gork

          #116109
          Queen_of_Alvastia
          @queen_of_alvastia
            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
            • Total Posts: 612

            @koshka šŸ˜ŠšŸ˜Š

            Thank you! I can’t wait to write it sometime in the near future…. XD

            šŸ„°#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquadšŸ„°

            #116110
            Koshka
            @koshka
              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
              • Total Posts: 1633

              @queen_of_alvastia

              OH! And writing a MC who is also their own antagonist is actually…quite fun. I would recommend you keep Maddock as your MC, and have a terrible character who doesn’t end well for a second foil, using Moddock’s brother as your first. That way your MC would end up in the center of the foil.

              • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Koshka. Reason: Ato-correct needs to be pummeled

              First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
              Fork the Gork

              #116112
              Queen_of_Alvastia
              @queen_of_alvastia
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 612

                @koshka I really wanted to keep Maddock but just wasn’t sure it would work! I am soo making him the main MC now!!

                Poor Maddock….center of the foil….

                šŸ„°#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquadšŸ„°

                #116113
                Koshka
                @koshka
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1633

                  XD

                  First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
                  Fork the Gork

                  #116115
                  Anonymous
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 8156

                    @koshka. @godlyfantasy12. @elishavet-pidyon. Y’all have such good advice! Gonna keep that in mind for my story’s too! XD


                    @godlyfantasy12
                    . NO!!! NOOOO WHY!? *hugs Paxton tight* Us Writers are so cruel. XD

                    #116120
                    Elishavet Elroi
                    @elishavet-pidyon
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1105

                      @queen_of_alvastia

                      Welcome!!!

                      Ugh, I struggle with stereotypical villains too. As of right now, my villain, Ocran, is a…

                      Wait a moment…

                      *Thundering brainstorm rolls overhead*

                      ONE IF MY THEMES IS BATTLING BITTERNESS!!!

                      Anyway, a long story short, Ocran lets bitterness and fear of the enemy warp himself. (And I really need to work on it a lot more, but whatever.)

                      Natan is a very interesting character. A death camp survivor, actually, so in a way he is a lot like Maddock. Looking back, I would have really enjoyed a book about Natan specifically, so doing that with your character sounds awesome!

                      I can’t wait to see where you take this story!

                      You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan

                      #116121
                      Elishavet Elroi
                      @elishavet-pidyon
                        • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                        • Total Posts: 1105

                        @godlyfantasy12

                        Poor, sweet Paxton! Ahhhhhhhh!

                        Does he survive the books? Or do I not want to know?

                        *Sniffle*

                        You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan

                        #116122
                        Queen_of_Alvastia
                        @queen_of_alvastia
                          • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                          • Total Posts: 612

                          @elishavet-pidyon

                          I know! Villains can be very tricky!! XD

                          Oh Ocran sounds like an interesting character! Ah that’s such a powerful theme!!

                          What is the general plot of your story?

                          Thank you! šŸ˜Š

                          šŸ„°#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquadšŸ„°

                          #116123
                          GodlyFantasy12
                          @godlyfantasy12
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 6645

                            @elishavet-pidyon @freedomwriter76 donā€™t worry my dears he does survive! In fact he gains an incredible family šŸ˜Š

                            So, for the rest of his childhood.

                            Because ofā€¦well everything previously mentioned, you already know that heā€™s abused by his mother, this is mostly verbally and mentally, and itā€™s extreme. Heā€™s also bullied by his brothers, and this is mostly where the physical abuse comes from (though a slap from his mother wouldnā€™t be a surprise at all)

                            heā€™s also treated badly by the rest of the Fae as well, because Lilith is in high standing, and so they watch over him (in a ā€œWeā€™re guarding you because youā€™re our sacrifice. Donā€™t get out of line.ā€ Way.

                            Lilith has the Fae Guard under her thumb (or so she thinks anyway. Sheā€™s uh actually being played by her first husbandā€™s former second in command who is now Head of the Guard) Itā€™s like a Lion King, Scar situation. That guy is literally just like Scar (personality wise. The cartoon scar)

                            Also, with his mother being a Siren, (again Iā€™m working out the details, but Iā€™m thinking that Lilith canā€™t really ā€œcontrolā€ people, cuz thatā€™s too much power and justā€¦leaves too many things to try and figure out for me, so itā€™s more she can kinda ā€œconvinceā€ and manipulate. Though there are some Sirens who can control. It all just depends on their ability and power)

                            Using this ability, she actually forces Paxton to fall asleep as a young baby.

                            Including the time when he finds the mural as a toddler that depicts his ā€œsacrificeā€. And any other time he ends up in a place his mother doesnā€™t want him.

                            She just has to whisper or sing to him, lulling him to sleep, and heā€™s out like a light.

                            (ughā€¦itā€™s literally soā€¦messed up.)

                            And she has the Guard try and guard him at all times.

                            She doesnā€™t want him in certain places, or learning certain things, so heā€™s usually kept in his room, and when heā€™s not heā€™s either watched or heā€™s escape and is constantly afraid of being found and ā€œpunished.ā€

                            And of course, his brothers are older then him, and scary. And everyone has wings, and he doesnā€™t. (And he has phantom pains even tho he doesnā€™t have the wingsā€¦and he stutters) I know I just keep torturing him, but it all ends well for him in this same book so donā€™t worry friends!!

                            Yeaā€¦

                            Other questions!! His hobbies! This is a great question because at first I was like ā€œhmm, I donā€™t really think he has any.ā€

                            He honestly is tĀ ableĀ to get out much, orĀ doĀ anything.

                            But thinking about it, I now realize, if he could, heā€™d really enjoy reading.

                            Heā€™s not allowed in the library, due to his mother, but he sneaks in there anyway. This being said, heā€™s unable to read the books joyfully though, because he lives in constant fear of being discovered.

                            Plus most of the books he reads is to discover if thereā€™s any other way to get out of the whole ā€œsacrifice thingā€ which his mother quickly tells him ā€œThereā€™s not.ā€

                            But there are some occasions where he picks up a book for pleasure and becomes lost in it (which usually ends badly for him because he doesnā€™t hear someone coming to the library, and he gets caught) but yea, he enjoys reading.

                            Thinking about it, I also think heā€™d enjoy sketching and singing.

                            Heā€™d be by himself a lot, so I think heā€™d need something to do while by himself, and I think it would be something that fits his personality. Heā€™s so sensitive and shy, I think he would sketch, but I think he wouldnā€™t do it on paper.

                            I think heā€™d be afraid of it being discovered, so heā€™d draw lines into the carpet, or paint on the back of his curtains. Maybe draw on top of his arms, where itā€™s covered by his sleeves, and heā€™d find different ways to do it.

                            Heā€™d use it to communicate with himself. Drawing in the snow. In the sand. Etc. (oh manā€¦Iā€™m coming up with this as I am writing and Iā€¦I love it. šŸ„¹šŸ˜)

                            And singingā€¦heā€™d be just a little boy, singing lullabies to himself, because he has no one to sing to him.

                            And if they do sing, they arenā€™t happy. Theyā€™re dreadful songs of pain from his mother.

                            So he sings softly to himself.

                            And once he opens up, he might even sing to others. And being a siren, his songs can uplift and encourage those who listen.

                             

                            my sweet babyā€¦.

                             

                            As for his Lie?

                            Well, Paxton is actually a lot like November in his lie. He believes heā€™s worthless and unlovable. He doesnā€™t see why anyone would ever be willing to love or save him. He believes his motherā€™s words (at least eventually) that his only reason for living is to die. And not only to die, but to die so thatĀ othersĀ will also die.

                            He was born a shame to his family; what could he possibly do in this world? AndĀ whoĀ would possibly love him?

                            šŸ„ŗšŸ˜­

                             

                            #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                            #ProtectMarcel
                            #ProtectSeb

                            #116126
                            Anonymous
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 8156

                              @godlyfantasy12. NOOO!!! PAXTON!!!! šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­

                              Well, another character I need to protect. šŸ˜‚

                              #116139
                              Keilah H.
                              @keilah-h
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 5041

                                Ooh, sounds fun!

                                Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

                                #116140
                                Anonymous
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 8156

                                  @keilah-h. Yes, talking about characters is always fun. XD

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