Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › Characteristic Lines
- This topic has 147 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by Keilah H..
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February 25, 2022 at 7:10 pm #109285
Awesome idea!!! And I love your lines; November and Arabella sounds awesome! š
Wow. I think you have made me one of Scarletās biggest fansā¦ š
Somehow I feel like Jewel and I would agree on a lot of thingsā¦ XD Love the lines!
Bahaha, I love the second character!š Great job on these.
Dudeā¦ Wow, that was awesome! I love the depth of your characters, especially Destiny. (I very rarely use slang words like ādude,ā so please feel very proud that you were able to make me say itš)
February 26, 2022 at 9:40 am #109303@lydia-s Heheh, thanks! <3
wonder | beauty | truth | love
February 26, 2022 at 6:48 pm #109317These snippets describe the personality of one of my favorite characters pretty well, if I do say so myself. š
His hair was a disheveled mess, and it took only a glance to perceive that he was positively irate. āDuxus!ā he snapped. āDo you realize what time it is?ā
āYes, sir, I doā¦ā
āItās moonhigh! Midnight!ā
āI know that, sirā¦ā
āAnd you also realize that normal people are asleep at this time?ā
āYes.ā
āThen why on earth are you waking me?ā He bellowed.
āYou know, staring at each other isnāt going to get you into the town hall. Simply going about it the old fashioned way, lifting and dropping your feet, is far more efficient.ā
Fear. How he hated it. Itād stopped him from taking matters into his own hands at the start of this fiasco. He wasnāt used to using violence. He shouldāve at least tried though! But no. Heād sat back, twiddling his thumbs and letting this debacle run its course.
He cursed againā¦ (skipping to another partā¦)
He couldnāt help but wish that most of them died. If he had his way and they cooperated, his wish would come true.
The thought occurred to him that he really ought to feel bad about planning the murders of so many people. But, then again, his conscience wasnāt his strong point.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Lydia S..
February 26, 2022 at 6:49 pm #109319Ofc! š <333
February 27, 2022 at 8:28 pm #109330Wow! Those are fantastic! I especially like that middle one. XD
Those are some wonderful lines! (And action tags; November is awesome.)
- This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Elishavet Elroi. Reason: There is such a thing as too emphatic!!!!
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
February 27, 2022 at 8:33 pm #109332Ach, it’s Braxton and Destiny! Such good characters…such good lines…
Oh, and did I forget Landmar? Not quite, who could?
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
March 1, 2022 at 6:30 pm #109350Aww, thank you so much, girl!!! <333
March 11, 2022 at 5:03 pm #109508Welcome! š
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
March 19, 2022 at 5:42 pm #109584I think it ate my thingy. Maybe I made it long. I shall try again.
Its a full scene, not a line, but anyway…
Flickers of light glinted back, caught on gossamers in the murky darkness. Holding the torch as high as the cavern roof allowed, Meyani crept down stairs, counting each crumbling step. Two-and-ten, three-and-ten, four-and-tenā¦
A heap of undistinguishable rubble blocked his path. He kicked it aside, swallowing back the bile rising in his throat.
Nine-and-ten, score, score-and-oneā¦
He paused, conscious of the lagging strelt behind him. “Ctibor?” He winced at the sound of his own voice, loud in the listening silence.
The young soldier’s face crept into the light, his eyes nearly lidless, mouth gasping in the stagnant air. “Sir?”
A new recruit. Shouldn’t have been sent down here. Couldn’t be helped.
“Keep close.”
“As you say, sir.”
Mayani turned back to the blackness before him, drafts from above no longer dancing his flame.
Score-and-sixā¦ two-score-and-threeā¦two-score-and-ten-and-sevenā¦
The stair ended abruptly, a blackened door at its foot. No lock or food slot broke its warped surface, only a crude iron bar whispered of its purpose.
“Sir,” Ctibor’s voice rang thin and pale. “you don’t thinkā¦someone’s actuallyā¦” Mayani could hear him swallow.
“We shall see. Lift the bar.” He stepped aside, careful of their only light. Ctibor squeezed by, drew another shaky breath, and started working up the bar. It stuck fast for a moment before sending him stumbling back against the steps.
“Hold the light so I can see.” Mayani handed Ctibor the torch and turned back to the door.
There didn’t appear to be a latch. He searched for a grip, but the wood was slick, hard as stone. Mayani finally wedged his knife between it and the stone frame and pried it open.
A wave of nausea forced him back a step, knocking into the strelt. He took back the torch ignoring the wide look of horror on the younger soldier’s face as Mayani stepped into the cell.
Something skittered away from the light, angry at the broach of its domain.
“Is anyone here?” Mayani’s voice came back empty. He stepped farther into the cell, straining for a sound other than Ctibor’s gasping breath and his own heartbeat.
The shadows slunk back, leaving bare filth and the evidence of prior occupants. He turned to leave, but stopped halfway back to the door. A body lay curled near the wall, half covered by a shredded, scarlet cloak. He sighed. “Another corpse.”
The head turned.
Ctibor’s scream split the shrouded silence as he tore back up the stair, mindless in his terror.
“Toothless pup.” Mayani Looked after the strelt, then sighed and knelt by the prisoner. Its face was shrunken beyond recognition, but its clothing, now little more than rags, could once have been an officer’s uniformā¦the wolf opened his eyes, the fire of their molten gold depths flickering out.
Mayani’s blood ran cold, fury rising. “What’s your name, soldier?”
He tried to answer, but no voice came, and his eyes closed.
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkMarch 21, 2022 at 12:44 pm #109590@koshka Wow! You said they were wolves, or wolf-people? That’s a cool scene!
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
March 21, 2022 at 5:03 pm #109596Yes, they’re wolves. It’s still in first draft form, but… I like it. =) Thanks!
First Grand Historian of Arreth and the Lesser Realms (aka Kitty)
Fork the GorkMarch 23, 2022 at 7:35 pm #109612 -
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