Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › Character Castle!
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August 17, 2022 at 1:44 pm #115355
@freedomwriter
I love your story plot!! That’s amazing!! What made you decide to pick that particular time period? (Oooh that is hard! 😉)
Aadelheide dies!?! NO! Leon, poor guy, must be absolutely positively heartbroken!! Please tell me his kids are OK!!
** I’m not sobbing anymore, I’m wailing! **
Wait, who is Riker? (I love that name too! Where do you get your names btw?)
I LOVE THAT ENDING!!!!!!! You just blew me away!! When you finish, please please can I read it? (Sequel and all!)
We should start a group together where we update each other on book progress, if you want! XD
🥰#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquad🥰
August 17, 2022 at 2:01 pm #115356Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@queen_of_alvastia. Aww, thank you! You are so sweet! 🥰 (IKR?) Good Question! I can’t remember exactly what made me decide the Holocaust other than I have always been interested in that time period. It’s sad, it’s horrible, but History can be ugly, life can be ugly, and even the ugliest can be made beautiful if we allow God to use it. 😊 For WWII time, the cartoon The Long Long Holiday definitely inspired it. But for the Holocaust specifically, I don’t remember, other than I love the book The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. 👌 But mostly, I think it was just my interest in learning about The Holocaust. 🙂
HIS KIDS ARE SAFE AND SOUND! I couldn’t take them too! That would be horrible! 😭 And yes, she does. 😫 He is…😔 That’s what makes him so sad…his heartbrokenness. 🥺
(I just looked up German boy names. 😂 Boring, I know, but it’s true. 🤣 But thank you! I love their names too! 😄) Ahh…Riker…my favorite character I’ve ever created. The second MC of Freedom’s Fire. An SS Lieutenant who discovers the Holocaust and deals with guilt. (the main message of Freedom’s Fire is forgiveness. God’s forgiveness, forgiving others, and, so often overlooked, the importance of forgiving ourselves). I can tell you all about Riker too, if you’d like. 😜
THANK YOU! 🥰🥰🥰 ABSOLUTELY, YOU CAN READ IT ONCE IT’S FINISHED!!! 😁😁😁
We should! 😀
August 17, 2022 at 2:15 pm #115357@freedomwriter76 You’re so welcome!! That’s so true! “God makes everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
I haven’t read The Boy in Striped Pajamas yet. I’ve seen it before though. What is it about? I love getting new book recommendations! 🙂
YES!! HE NEEDS THEM!! No you can’t!! Way too much sadness!! 😥🙄😪😓
I want to know about Riker too! Oh wow! I bet his story is powerful! sorry. I mean POWERFUL!
better.
YAY!! Thank you!!! * jumps up and down and makes a complete and total mess by throwing confetti around * 😋😋😊😊😍😍🤩🤩
Yes!! That would be so fun!! How do you make a new KP group?
🥰#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquad🥰
August 17, 2022 at 3:14 pm #115358Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@queen_of_alvastia. Amen, sister! 🙏
It’s about two boys, one, the MC, is the son of a German officer, and the other is a Jewish boy that’s in a concentration camp. They become friends. I would say more, but I don’t want to spoil anything. 😉 It’s a wonderful book. It will make you cry though. 😅
YES! He needs them! 😫🤧
IT IS! 🥳 A VERY powerful story! But first, you need a bit of background, as it’s important to his story. (plus, I love talking about Riker the most. 😂) So, Riker grew up in a community that saw him as a mistake and never wanted anything to do with him. And…Riker grew up with a dad that abused him. Mentally, Verbally, Emotionally, and even Physically. 🥺😭 So, fast forward many years, and Riker sees himself as a mistake, as that’s what his community, his dad, even his FAMILY, told him he was. (other than his younger sister Angelina and his WONDERFUL mother, Jennie) His childhood was stolen, simply put. He joined the SS so he wouldn’t be drafted and put into the regular army, the Wehrmacht, and so he wouldn’t kill anyone. (see where I’m going with this? 😉) He doesn’t know about the Holocaust yet. But when he is transferred to the concentration camp, he discovers the Holocaust. He immediately is plunged into guilt. He looks around at what he’s done and realizes…he killed people anyways. 😥 He looks around at all the things “he’s done” and sees himself as nothing more than a murderer. He says that he can’t be forgiven and that when he dies, he’ll go to Hell. No questions asked. No escape. He’ll go there. He begins helping Jews escape. But he still struggles with guilt, especially when Aadelheide dies, as he blames himself entirely for her death. Because Leon begged him to help them, but Riker said there was nothing he could do, and plus, he didn’t know about the Holocaust yet. 😭 (Riker gets a good ending too. Don’t you worry. 👌)
YOU ARE SO WELCOME! 🥰🥰🥰
You mean starting a new topic? 😉
August 17, 2022 at 3:33 pm #115360I’m totally up for getting the rp rolling again! However, I might not make very timely responses… I have a job and weekends are booked… but I will try to write whenever I can. Hesh needs it.
We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good on, eh?
-The DoctorAugust 17, 2022 at 3:56 pm #115365@freedomwriter76 @keilah-h @koshka @godlyfantasy12
Ok, now I’m not sure where to take this. It’s fun any way it goes!
Alyona
Thank the Lord for Viktor. If only he could always be with her.
She hadn’t meant to draw attention their way. The situation had been frightening for a moment, but now the strange man was quiet and the Voyager’s were asking Viktor about safe places to go.
She peeped around Viktor again and once more found the man looking at her.
“Why are you so interested?” He sounded more perplexed than angry. “Do markings like this hold significance in your culture?”
She stepped forward to stand beside her brother;
“No. Yes.” Her voice barely quavered. “Not in our country.” She darted a look at the others. Viktor shook his head no. He knew what she was thinking. She rubbed a toe in the dirt. “But in Dorwian, they sometimes do it.”
The man was listening curiously. He hadn’t caught her drift. She bit her lip.
“Oh?”
He wanted to know. She opened her mouth and it all came out in a flood.
“A captain will sometimes brand his own soldiers.” An involuntary shudder slid down her spine. It was too much like something one would do to an animal.
“Especially,” she finished quietly, “if they’re captives.”
Sudden silence had caught the air, leaving it strangely weighted. A night bird cried behind them Alyona found her hand into her script of slinging stones.
Riker stepped forward, taking up a position between them and Crosshair. “Can we all agree that any and all tension is unnecessary right now? We all need to find somewhere to sleep.”
“Riker’s right.” Another man, Ezra, came over too. “And it is wonderful to meet all y’all by the way. But all y’all look plumb tuckered out, so we need to get a move on.”
Viktor
Viktor pinched his lips together at the incongruous laughter threatening to break out. He’d never, never heard someone speak like Ezra did. Not that it was a bad thing, actually, Viktor rather liked it.
But they were right: everyone needed sleep and that soon. It was a good thing Crosshair didn’t seem offended by Alyona’s insinuations. Or he hadn’t caught them, although others in the group had.
Viktor sighed.
“These gardens are some of the safest places here. Next is the east tower,” pointing it out where it stood, a grey shadow against the stars, “Since it’s not used for surveillance and is out of view of the main buildings.”
Then again, they’d have to clime up to a high window, since the door was effectively blocked by a rubbish heap. Not ideal at all considering the curious shoes some of the group were wearing.
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
August 17, 2022 at 3:59 pm #115367Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@elishavet-pidyon. I’m glad Viktor likes Ezra’s Southern. 🤣🤣🤣
August 17, 2022 at 4:01 pm #115368@freedomwriter76
Me too! XD
I’m surprised he’s not used to it now, what with all the conversations we’ve had together. But then, my accent isn’t strong. 😉
You have listened to fears, child. Come, let me breathe on you... Are you brave again? -Aslan
August 17, 2022 at 4:03 pm #115369Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
Haha. 🤣🤣🤣 That’s funny. I get that. I wouldn’t think mine is, but then again…I seem to get more and more Southern as each day comes. 😝
August 17, 2022 at 4:03 pm #115370@freedomwriter76
I love stories that make me cry in case you can’t tell! 😉😊
YES! HE DOES!!
Oh my word!! AMAZING!! I am NOT EVEN KIDDING! Never ever stop writing!!! That’s not a cliche phrase, I mean it 100%!!
Here is me immediately after reading Riker’s story: 😮😢😲🙁
Here is me again a few minutes later after I get over being blown away: 😭😭😭😭
I can’t decide whose story I love better, Leon’s or Riker’s. But it’s kind of the same, interconnected story, right? So I can love them both!! XD
Riker needs a big hug and a happy ending too!! So badly!!
🙂
Yes I do! 🙂
🥰#TorrynVelgardProtectionSquad🥰
August 17, 2022 at 7:41 pm #115390Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@queen_of_alvastia. Haha, me too. 😂 I love movies that make me cry as well. 😉
THANK YOU! 🥰🥰🥰 (i’m fighting back tears over here. You are so kind! 💖💖💖)
Ah, yes, his story is a sad one. *sniffs* He’s my broken boy. 😭
You can absolutely love them both! 😁 I do, however, I do like Riker just a bit better, y’know? 🤣
YES! *grabs him and pulls him into a tight hug*
Alright, so, you see at the top right the “Community” tab? Okay, so, click on that. Once you’re on that page, scroll down until you get to the “General Writing Discussions” (since that’s where it would fit the most. 😉). Click on that. Once you’re there…you should see this at the top:
So…see the “Create New Topic”? Click on that, and you should be good to go! 😊
August 17, 2022 at 10:22 pm #115393@koshka @elishavet-pidyon @keilah-h @freedomwriter76
November
Alyona’s last comment had left a bitter taste in November’s mouth. He swallowed. Hard.
He tugged at his curls anxiously, his neck starting to sweat. Who would…purposely brand someone?
Then again…November had come to learn that the world around him wasn’t all peaches and cream.
Had it ever been?
He’d always thought so…
Sure…His home life wasn’t exactly…grand…but he’d never thought too much into it. Not until-
“November!” Ara’s bright eyes and smile were immediately changed at the sight of his red, blistering arms and bruised cheek. She gasped, stopping mid-step. He’d been so excited to see her, alive and well, that he’d forgotten his appearance.
“N-November…W-What happened…Who did this…?” She’d fawned over him in concern, running her hands above his arms, afraid to touch them. He had shied away, shame suddenly filling him.
“I-I-” He’d averted his eyes, searching for some way out of the conversation. But how could he escape something so…evident?
Ara’s eyes had softened. “November…?”
And that was when he’d started to cry.
He’d never forget that moment. Apologizing profusely. Telling Ara that his father, the man he though he knew, was a traitor. A liar. That he’d….hurt her.
Of course, Ara hadn’t blamed November. Not one bit. She was mostly concerned about the bruise forming on his cheek, and his unexplained blistering arms, which had thankfully healed now.
But he blamed himself, and in a way he supposed he still did.
He sighed.
November knew what abuse was. It was a nasty, vile word. One he hated, but didn’t know that well. He knew of it, but never really associated himself with it.
After all, abuse always came in physical form, right?
And…his father was never physical.
Not until that moment.
Only that one time.
So…it wasn’t abuse…
His mind always tried to give the benefit of the doubt, despite every red flag. Even know, looking back and seeing his father for who he really was, he couldn’t bring himself to accept that everything his father said had been false.
He was a liar….
I know that….
November grimaced as another voice; a sharp, twisted voice replied to his-
“But he didn’t lie about you.”
November gave a furious yank at his scalp, forcing himself to return to the present. He saw Ara give him a concerned look out of the corner of his eye, but he made a conscious effort to ignore her.
Viktor was saying something about surveillance, but in truth his mind was a bit lost. He was sure some of the others notice, so he averted his gaze and became fascinated with a pebble at his feet.
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebAugust 17, 2022 at 10:23 pm #115394Also Ik I do a lot of Introspection (idk if that’s the right word XD) But I like it XD And if u guys ever wanna initiate conversations with ma charries about stuff BE MA GUEST! Also someone can get us moving if ya want, and while we walk we can talk?? IDK XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebAugust 18, 2022 at 9:15 am #115400Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@elishavet-pidyon. @koshka. @keilah-h. @godlyfantasy12. (I like it too! Also, I NEED RIKER TO TALK TO NOVEMBER! 🤞)
Riker
The young boy with the curly hair, November, yanked at his scalp. Just a moment later averted his gaze to the floor.
Avert your eyes.
Don’t attract attention.
Make sure no one sees.
Make sure no one sees the pain inside.
The past you want to hide.
Riker knew that well.
Too well.
When Riker had glanced over at November before he had yanked at his scalp, Riker saw something in his eyes. But they seemed as though they were looking at something that wasn’t there.
At the moment.
But Riker’s own experiences…his own past…told him that November was seeing something that had been there. Maybe days, weeks, months, even years ago.
Riker’s fingers almost came up to his cheek again, but he forced them to stay put. The scar did not need to be noticed. By anyone.
It was his scar to carry.
His past that burdened.
His past that haunted…reminded…him.
“You are nothing but a mistake. I never wanted you, understand me, boy!? I wanted a son I could be proud of. A son I could love. A son that would be the greatest gift I could ever have. Instead…”
Riker’s dark blue eyes met his father’s coal.
“…all I got…was you.”
His father had never been wrong.
After everything Riker had done…all the people he’d…he’d… “Riker?”
He looked up. Eva was looking at him with a raised eyebrow, her brown eyes full of concern.
Riker had to look away. He didn’t deserve that. He fingered with his wedding ring. “Ezra, we should probably get going. We need to find somewhere to sleep. Everyone needs to rest.”
Ezra turned to face him. “Of course.” he turned to face Crosshair. “Care to join us, sir?”
August 18, 2022 at 9:19 am #115401Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
Riker is so observant. 😏 Also, just realizing this, but Riker carries, like, three different weapons. 😂 Ezra carries at least two as well. 😆
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