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I gripped the bars of the cell so hard my knuckles turned white.
I thought he had changed.
I thought he cared.
He did it.
The thing I never thought he would do.
I felt like I was in a haze.
The noise of chains met my ears.
He said he understood.
He helped me.
How could he?
I staggered and gripped the bars harder.
He said he would protect me.
That they were wrong.
But then they came.
The noise of the chains rattling came closer.
He didn’t say a word.
He didn’t try to stop them.
He let them take me.
My knees buckled and I fell to the ground.
He turned me in.
And now I’m going to die.
Hey, this is the start of my book, Finding You! Which i’m willing to have more readers for. It is a first draft, so no editing/grammer comments wanted, just if you like the characters/feel for them/interested in reading more, ect. The last time I opened it on here I had someone tell me my book will never be publishable buttt 34 active readers now disagree with him lol.
It is a first draft, meaning the first 3 chapters are cringe bc I started them six years ago, and was on and off bc honestly I wanted to quit this book. So i don’t think my writing gets a bunch better till like chapter 6 and on. But now I am writing more consistently, and not worrying about the why’s and if it’s not good enough, and just writing. I just finished Chapter 27 yesterday and I think it’s one of the best shows of emotion and love i’ve ever written.
Anyway, if you’re interested lmk, and I can share the google doc. It’s split into 3 different Povs, the Girl, X392, no memories of her past, the warrior, Roger, looking for revenge from his past, and the boy, Nathaniel, searching for the broken piece of his past, his sister. Why did the government take all those kids all those years ago? Where are they now? What are they doing to them? >:)
Never turn your back on a truce, because no one hesitates on an open opportunity to strike.
@katthewriter what who would tell you that?! This is a community of support and encouragement!!! That is very rude. Doesn’t matter how much work your writing needs if you don’t have anything good to say or can’t say it in a way where it is a critique or comes off as helpful don’t say it!
ahem, rant over.
as for me, it immediately grabbed my attention!!! That being said, I probably won’t be reading it because usually when it’s on google docs I tend not to commit and read stuff, but if you ever post some of it actually on KP I’d probably read it!! It seems super interesting!!!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@katthewriter
Id be happy to read your wip I might not be able to get to actually reading it until April (ie spring break) but I would be happy to read it.That sounds super interesting!! I’d read it! 🙂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Also, (I’ll reply to all yall in just a sec) here’s the graphic/aesthetic of each of the MC’s and a lil kinda about them snippet.
Who was I? Was I anyone before? All I had were foggy memories of white walls and pain, and some sinister feeling that I was missing something. Did I have a family before being in this camp? Was I somebody? Or am I nothing more than this number and rank? A soldier and puppet that does what she’s told, or will I be more someday?
Never turn your back on a truce, because no one hesitates on an open opportunity to strike.
@katthewriter aww poor girl!!! 😭
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb
“Till death do us part.”
Sickness. Dearth too soon. Closing with another promise.
“I’ll keep her safe, I promise i’ll keep our baby safe.”
Intruders. Cornered by soldiers. Gunshot killing my sunshine.
“No, please not again.”
Pain. Crushed by guilt. Anger coursing through my veins.
“You’ll pay. You’ll pay for all that you’ve done.”
Lair. You failed her. You can’t fail again.
Never turn your back on a truce, because no one hesitates on an open opportunity to strike.
“I’ll find you, Grace.” I whispered through the tears.
Was it a pledge or a plea? A desperation to be enough or a doubt that I ever could? Would I find her just to loose her again?
No. I couldn’t. I won’t.
Two stone heads burned in the back of my mind, two names scrawled on top.
No. I couldn’t lose her too. I won’t be the only one left.
I will find her.
(I call Nathaniel Nate for short)
Never turn your back on a truce, because no one hesitates on an open opportunity to strike.
@katthewriter they seem so cool!!! Nate will probs definitely be my favorite (I luv the guys XD)
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebIt sounds really cool! Personally, I struggled with the formatting (I accidentally kept skipping lines XD), but the actual words themselves would definitely draw me into it.
Those are some really good collages, too.
"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19OH and our Villain >:) General Seznick
(This snippet of what will be done in a future chapter 0.O)
“Stop me?” My harsh laugh echoed through the warehouse, “Silly little girl, don’t you know? You won’t be fighting me. You’ll be fighting them.”
My smirk grew as the kids, the other soldiers, she knew and grew up with surrounded her with weapons in hand.
“Are you willing to kill them to get to me?”
Never turn your back on a truce, because no one hesitates on an open opportunity to strike.
@katthewriter AHHHH I DESPISE HIM ALREADY!!!!!
😡😤😤😤😡😡😡
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 loll i’m not gonna say names, but it’s ok. I just think when I publish i’m going to send him a note and say “To the guy who said I could never publish: Thanks for the motivation. :)” bc yes, spite was a great inspirer to never give up.
But thank you!!
And actually I think awhile ago, like a lonnnggg while ago I sent in chapter 4 to be used as like one of those let KP edit and critique it articles? And I may have shared some of it in the community like last year. If you want I can look for that article snippet to see if it’s still there. But thank you for your sweet words and encouragement! 😀
@folith-feolin aw really? Thanks so much! I don’t actually know if I could send a link on here or direct message. But I can try. Also your prfpic is SUPER COOL (I need to update mine bc I haven’t been on since announcing I’m running the KP Pinterest in like July/August of last year *facepalm*)
@gwyndalf-the-wise ah okay, understandable. I only have more of that in like the really stressful or despair moments, but most of it is normal style writing, I think? I Might have a weird writing style.And thank you so much! I enjoy making both collages and aesthetic reels (for my insta) for my books/characters 😀
You guys are so sweet. :’)
Never turn your back on a truce, because no one hesitates on an open opportunity to strike.
@godlyfantasy12 Yess my poor girl.
And yess. I do love Roger so much (especially in chapter 27 we show him being SUPER SWEERT and i’m dying of feelsss) our morally grey character that is the fan favorite, BUT Nathaniel aka NATE AKA CINNAMON ROLL BOI will always have a special place in my heart.
Oh yes. I got a message the other day of one of my readers planning on how to mentally murder him. His aesthetic collage and video… was kinda satisfying to make. BUT he’s a really bad person with no reedeming values.
Never turn your back on a truce, because no one hesitates on an open opportunity to strike.
also… I love how grammatically correct these boxes are bc all of while i’m typing it’s like going
“Ahem? Hello, but you are terrible at grammar.” Like yes. Ik. Thank you. XD I can write well if it’s in a book. Kinda. But just typing like this I write like texting.Stop personally attacking me Kingdom Pen xD
Never turn your back on a truce, because no one hesitates on an open opportunity to strike.
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