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Wait really? We aren’t supposed to critique here? I feel so bad now!
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
@freedomwriter76
OOOOOOO YES! *excitement*
Hmmmm
I like Riker because he’s relatable, he struggles with similar thoughts and feelings that either I am struggling with, have struggled with in the past, or seen other people struggle with. Also because he tries to do the right thing, regardless of what’s going on around him.
"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19Aww no, don’t feel bad!! I loved all the questions!!! I mean, KP is a place where we can help each other and encourage each other in their writing! 😀 The questions helped a lot with Dylan’s character arc! I’ve already figured it out a lot more :).
Yeah, he doesn’t know that what they’re doing is wrong (Or maybe his sub-consistence does, but he doesn’t really) until he meets Asher…and sees Asher’s kindness towards him.
So, Dylan was actually taken when he was almost 5. So…he still sometimes has foggy memories of a woman with a kind voice, a man with a beard that he loved to pull on, and even his 3 year old sister and 4 month old brother! So he has seen what a family should be like, he just can’t remember much.
And yes, Asher is a big part of his redemption.
Also, this scene is near the middle-end of the book, after many scenes of him and Asher talking, and Dylan slowly has been realizing that the life that he’s had all this time isn’t the life he wants to continue to live. I can share another scene of them talking, maybe later! (If I can ever write it lol).
And no! Don’t feel bad! Your critiques helped a lot!! Thank you so much!! 😄
Aw thanks girl!! Yeah I’ve been working on it for a while. About 2 weeks 😅 for the whole scene.
@freedomwriter76
💕💕 Thank you so much!!
I love Dylan already…😉😏😜😍
XDXD I do too…😉😏😍
Btw…will Vance get a redemption arc…???
Just a question…🤭💕
Oof…heh…I’m not real sure yet. I mean, he might…but some of the things he tries to do, (to Dylan and Asher,) and some things that he does…(well….you’ll see something he does in the rest of the scene 🙁)
I’m not sure, honestly 😅. Maybe…but maybe not. XDXD
I guess that would be like trying to decide if…Hitchens had a redemption arc 😅. I kind of want to…but then I’m like “But would that be realistic? The kind of person he is…” But I think he might have one… Idk 😅. (Is Hitchens redeemed, btw? I’ve been meaning to ask.)
#HugRikerSquad
@freedomwriter76
Aww Riker!!! I love him so much <3<3
And Franz!!!! You better be nice!!!
#HugRikerSquad
@lightoverdarkness6 Heyo!!! U wanna make an RP for Vance?
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebit’s fine! I think people were just confused because we do have a forum just for critiques, where most of that happens. People are pretty open to any advice here though, we all want to get better and others incite is always useful!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Cool! Yeah, that clears things up a lot. Sorry if I made too many assumptions, thanks for elaborating! Does 5 not seem a little old though? That’s the age most children begin school. You say that he still remembers, but comprehension of mom, dad, and sibling names would long since been well ingrained into his mind at that point. I myself am 18, and I still have many vivid memories of when I was 5. I know the face and name of my kindergarten teacher for example, and many of the things I did in her class. Those memories are not foggy to this day. You could argue that it may have been a traumatic experience when kidnapped, and so he blocked out most of his past, but those faint tender memories still come through. If that’s the case, I can go with that, otherwise, I think the oldest would be 2-3, unless you have another explanation, there does often tend to be many ways to explain those sort of things. Sorry, I did it again, but thanks for the reassurance.
it’s fine! I think people were just confused because we do have a forum just for critiques, where most of that happens. People are pretty open to any advice here though, we all want to get better and others incite is always useful!
That’s good to know, thanks! Even then though, I sometimes feel like I might come off a little pretentious when I’m either sharing or critiquing. I like to think of things in a very technical way, and I often unknowingly give a full essay on a particular sentence someone says or something. I understand how that can be annoying, when a know it all comes along and breaks down all the technicalities of something for you. I’ve scared people away from me doing that before, people don’t like to get lectured at. I don’t think I can give up my technicalities, because it’s part of who I am, but I just don’t want to rub off as someone that thinks themselves better in any way, because I’m not.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
That’s good to know, thanks! Even then though, I sometimes feel like I might come off a little pretentious when I’m either sharing or critiquing.
I get that! Sometimes it’s hard to feel how much to share, imo if somebody asks for help, you can go all out on whatever they asked for help with. I’m a little cautious, so unless it’s somebody I know, I don’t give much advice unless asked of it.
Only exception being if there’s a moral issue with the writing, I’ll speak up then even if they didn’t want advice XD
I like to think of things in a very technical way, and I often unknowingly give a full essay on a particular sentence someone says or something.
yeah, It’s hard when you are super passionate about things. I’m that way with art, and I feel bad about it sometimes. Art has always been my first passion before writing, you might have noticed me not being as worried with the technical side of my writing because of this.
One time somebody I knew asked for advice in improving in art… I think that’s where It shows for me.
What did I do?
Gave them a paragraph about how practice makes improvement, they should learn the loomis method to draw heads, and they should learn human anatomy. I proceeded to link a technical video about human proportions divided into head lengths.
😬
Yeah… I might have over stepped my bounds there… and only realized that afterwards. I have a hard time giving people anything else when they ask for art advice, because I think it’s super cool the improvement learning can make on your art, and I want others to see it too.
Whatever is my current “obsession” (It rotates, much to my annoyance) I can go on quite the rant about when asked of it, and yeah, it seems weird to other people.
It used to be permaculture farming. Before that it was snakes, snakes genetics/breeding, enclosures and care. Needless to say, my mom was one of the only people willing to listen to me talk about it.
I understand how that can be annoying, when a know it all comes along and breaks down all the technicalities of something for you. I’ve scared people away from me doing that before, people don’t like to get lectured at. I don’t think I can give up my technicalities, because it’s part of who I am, but I just don’t want to rub off as someone that thinks themselves better in any way, because I’m not.
yeah I honestly don’t know what the answer is, because I do it too 😂🤣
And don’t give it up! If it’s what you’re passionate about, that’s great.
I’ll say you did come off a little pretentious to me at first, but I saw something on one of your rants where you said something along the lines of “It’s your story, so do whatever you want” and I immediately knew you were well intentioned. That just kinda shows you’re offering your two cents, but not trying to tell other people how to wright their stories. There’s not a certain way to do everything, because every story works a little differently, and I think showing you understand that goes a long way.
There are a whoooole lot more people like that here on kp than in person, so it’s ok, you’ll have somebody rant at you soon enough 😉
I like seeing that other people are passionate about something, irl I don’t meet other people much like that and it always frustrated me (nothing wrong with not having a passion, I just didn’t get it and had a harder time interacting)
Oh also I’d say questions are different, everyone likes to talk about there story so ask as many questions you want anytime!
I hope that helps, just know that most people here are really understanding and It would take a bit to get on somebody’s bad side.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Cool! Yeah, that clears things up a lot. Sorry if I made too many assumptions, thanks for elaborating! Does 5 not seem a little old though? That’s the age most children begin school. You say that he still remembers, but comprehension of mom, dad, and sibling names would long since been well ingrained into his mind at that point. I myself am 18, and I still have many vivid memories of when I was 5. I know the face and name of my kindergarten teacher for example, and many of the things I did in her class. Those memories are not foggy to this day. You could argue that it may have been a traumatic experience when kidnapped, and so he blocked out most of his past, but those faint tender memories still come through. If that’s the case, I can go with that, otherwise, I think the oldest would be 2-3, unless you have another explanation, there does often tend to be many ways to explain those sort of things.
Oof yeah…I’ve been trying to figure out how I can fix that…because Asher is 14. Dylan is 19. And Asher would have to already been born when Dylan was taken, because their parents disappear trying to find Dylan…idk. I’ve gone through the possible scenarios in my head, and none of it seems to work…unless maybe Vance had a brainwashing device..
Sorry, I did it again, but thanks for the reassurance.
XDXD No, it’s alright! I’ve been trying to just…paint over that little detail, hoping it would work, but I need to find a solution, so thank you for asking. I’ll do some research, and I might have to change their ages a little.
#HugRikerSquad
Oooh. That sounds so interesting!! I enjoyed reading it and am now even more intrigued in your story!! Dylan sounds really cool! 😀
Thank you girl!! Oh good! Yeah, Dylan is pretty cool lol. 🙂
#HugRikerSquad
I get that! Sometimes it’s hard to feel how much to share, imo if somebody asks for help, you can go all out on whatever they asked for help with. I’m a little cautious, so unless it’s somebody I know, I don’t give much advice unless asked of it.
Yeah, that’s probably where I go wrong sometimes. I’ll occasionally rant at people I never met before, then they try to get out of the conversation. I probably make it sound like I’m quite extraverted, and in this way I kinda am, but usually, I’m more introverted, and enjoy letting others guide the conversation. It’s only when I am asked about something that I suddenly take over and blabber on forever, then I’ll suddenly go on all these tangents for context and stuff. I suddenly put everyone in a Your the student, I’m the teacher, making the conversation very imbalanced. The Savior did say that when a man asks you to walk a mile, walk with him twain, but sometimes he doesn’t want to go twain, or at least, he doesn’t need you to hold your hand like a child the whole way. I just don’t want to fall into the realm of hypocrisy, giving things my all, but doing it in front of others to give others a positive perception of me. It’s just hard to find that balance.
Only exception being if there’s a moral issue with the writing, I’ll speak up then even if they didn’t want advice XD
It’s really good to have a strong will for what you know to be right. I still struggle with that sometimes. When I’m not taking over a conversation, I tend to not voice my disagreements about something. I’m not embarrassed about my beliefs, quite the opposite, but I don’t want to be contentious, ye shall not teach unless you have the spirit in you, ya know. It’s another balance I’m working on.
I’m that way with art, and I feel bad about it sometimes. Art has always been my first passion before writing, you might have noticed me not being as worried with the technical side of my writing because of this.
Yeah, the thing is though is that I’m like that with almost everything. I’m passionate about mathematics first and foremost, but I also have a love for physics, art, writing, worldbuilding, conlanging, cubing, philosophy, psychology ect. And almost anything I don’t know a lot about, I casually learn a bunch of random facts on so I’m ready to go all out when asked as if I was super passionate about the subject. I even do it without knowing it seems like, like this one time my brother asked me about blue moons, and I told him I never really studied that, but somehow I continued with a long lecture about different ideas on different kinds of moons, and how the light bouncing off of the moon in the right way at the right time gets a blue spectrum, then my sister breaks in saying, you said you didn’t know anything about this, and I just sat there confused at myself, because I did say that didn’t I, I don’t even remember what I said. It kinda feels funny and pretentious for me to say this actually, because I’m totally saying, “wow, knowing everything is such a burden”, but again, I don’t mean it that way, I just feel like I can rub off that impression sometimes. I think that it may be something deep down in me where I always want to have the right answer to something, I don’t know why that is, but it seems to be the case.
I’ll say you did come off a little pretentious to me at first, but I saw something on one of your rants where you said something along the lines of “It’s your story, so do whatever you want” and I immediately knew you were well intentioned. That just kinda shows you’re offering your two cents, but not trying to tell other people how to wright their stories. There’s not a certain way to do everything, because every story works a little differently, and I think showing you understand that goes a long way.
Thank you for that honesty, I really needed to hear somebody say it, because everyone that I have mentioned this to deny that I come off that way. I do my very best with that, I want it to be clear that I’m just trying to help, but I’m not you, I don’t know the experiences you’ve gone through in life that has lead you to (whatever it is they’re working on). I just feel like I don’t do it enough still. I tend to wonder that when someone reads that, they still may think I’m speaking in a tone that suggests that I’m saying that it’s yours not mine, but if you don’t follow my advice, it will turn out worse for you, or something. But that’s more when it comes to texting and things like that where I don’t have a voice to convey my tone, I just got words that could be interpreted in a number of ways. I honestly need to work on not thinking about what others think, because that’s overthinking things, which can become an unhealthy habit. Thank you for letting me know that though, it’s always good to hear someone perceive the opposite of what you think they may perceive, kinda breaks that idea down, and allows me to breath and say it’s ok.
I hope that helps, just know that most people here are really understanding and It would take a bit to get on somebody’s bad side.
It really does, thanks again!
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
Yeah, I’m glad your working on that. Study would be the best option yeah. Just remember there’s always another way to explain something!
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
I like Riker because he’s relatable, he struggles with similar thoughts and feelings that either I am struggling with, have struggled with in the past, or seen other people struggle with. Also because he tries to do the right thing, regardless of what’s going on around him.
AHH, IKR!? He’s just so relatable and lovable and always does what’s right…I just love him so much. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
💕💕 Thank you so much!!
Yw!!! 💕💕💕
XDXD I do too…😉😏😍
He’s just so lovable! 🥰🥰🥰
Oof…heh…I’m not real sure yet. I mean, he might…but some of the things he tries to do, (to Dylan and Asher,) and some things that he does…(well….you’ll see something he does in the rest of the scene 🙁)
Uh oh…😬😬😬
I’m not sure, honestly 😅. Maybe…but maybe not. XDXD
Yeah, I get that!!! It’s hard to not have villains be redeemed for me, bc I have a thirst for everyone to be redeemed, even when they’re fictional. 🥰
I’ve had to realize that not everyone is redeemed because not everyone wants to be redeemed, y’know? 😔😢
I guess that would be like trying to decide if…Hitchens had a redemption arc 😅. I kind of want to…but then I’m like “But would that be realistic? The kind of person he is…”
Yeah, I get that!!! I felt that way about Hans, but then I had to realize, like I said, that not everyone can/is redeemed.
But I think he might have one… Idk 😅
Who knows!? That’s what’s so great about writing the way we do…we figure it out as we go! 😂
(Is Hitchens redeemed, btw? I’ve been meaning to ask.)
Heh…nope. It’s not for certain, but…yeah…probably not…😢 Just like Hans…😔
Aww Riker!!! I love him so much <3<3
IKR!?!?!? My Baby is just the sweetest!!!😍😍😍😍😍
And Franz!!!! You better be nice!!!
Tell him, sister!!! 😂
Yeah, that’s probably where I go wrong sometimes. I’ll occasionally rant at people I never met before, then they try to get out of the conversation.
Yeah, it’s always a bit hard to tell. If it’s a specific forum question (Ex. How to wright a good villain), it’s ok to rant. Also we have a topic called the “I’m giving you permission to rant about your wip” it’s really expected to happen there XD that’s what it’s for. You can just rant about your wip and tag some friends to share it with.
I probably make it sound like I’m quite extraverted, and in this way I kinda am, but usually, I’m more introverted, and enjoy letting others guide the conversation. It’s only when I am asked about something that I suddenly take over and blabber on forever, then I’ll suddenly go on all these tangents for context and stuff. I suddenly put everyone in a Your the student, I’m the teacher, making the conversation very imbalanced. The Savior did say that when a man asks you to walk a mile, walk with him twain, but sometimes he doesn’t want to go twain, or at least, he doesn’t need you to hold your hand like a child the whole way. I just don’t want to fall into the realm of hypocrisy, giving things my all, but doing it in front of others to give others a positive perception of me. It’s just hard to find that balance.
Yeah, you don’t want to make other people feel like the student. I think complimenting things you like about other peoples stories too helps, it shows even though there are things about the writing you might have a lot of information about changing, there are still things in the writing that you find admirable. It can even be something as simple as “I like your characters name”, it takes you out of the teacher position if that’s how you’ve been coming off.
Yeah, the thing is though is that I’m like that with almost everything. I’m passionate about mathematics first and foremost, but I also have a love for physics, art, writing, worldbuilding, conlanging, cubing, philosophy, psychology ect. And almost anything I don’t know a lot about, I casually learn a bunch of random facts on so I’m ready to go all out when asked as if I was super passionate about the subject.
I do that too. My dream was that one day somebody would ask me how many bird species I knew, and I’d get to rattle off the whole list 😂 Or what camera to get. Or what phone to get (I used to memorize phone specs) Idk why, it comes in waves for me. I get stuck on one subject then move on from it half a year later.
Oh wait… CUBING??
I NEVER THOUGHT I’D MEET ANOTHER CUBER 😯😯
I stopped mentioning it on kp eventually because nobody knew what it was XD
You use cfop, roux, zz or beginners method? 😀
I even do it without knowing it seems like, like this one time my brother asked me about blue moons, and I told him I never really studied that, but somehow I continued with a long lecture about different ideas on different kinds of moons, and how the light bouncing off of the moon in the right way at the right time gets a blue spectrum, then my sister breaks in saying, you said you didn’t know anything about this, and I just sat there confused at myself, because I did say that didn’t I, I don’t even remember what I said. It kinda feels funny and pretentious for me to say this actually, because I’m totally saying, “wow, knowing everything is such a burden”, but again, I don’t mean it that way, I just feel like I can rub off that impression sometimes. I think that it may be something deep down in me where I always want to have the right answer to something, I don’t know why that is, but it seems to be the case.
Lol blue moons 🤣 hey I mean that’s interesting though.
I’ve had a bit of a social trial by fire (ok that was an exaggeration) basically I learned the hard way through awkward conversations. I suppose I’m a bit of a robot with in person conversation now, I always say/ask the same things which I have collected from other people over the years. (if I don’t know the person well that is) Thankfully online interaction is a bit easier than that 😅
My sister told me once it’s called (The whole memorizing facts and being super interested in something) ‘special interests’ and yeah she also told me it’s a symptom of autism, which I trust because I’m pretty sure that’s something she’s done some research on. So yeah, just something kinda interesting to know. It wasn’t until I was about 9th grade I started to realize other kids my age didn’t have oddly specific interests of their own.
Your welcome! I like to tell people what I really think most of the time, because I figure if they don’t like what I have to say it’s there problem, I’m just trying to help them out. I overthink like that too, if somebody doesn’t respond to me in a timely manner I worry I’ve offended them somehow. It’s gotten a bit better the past year or so, but yeah I’m overly concerned with not offending people.
With the tone of voice in texting thing, I notice I developed more of a tone by talking to other people. I didn’t have much online interaction before, so I didn’t have a tone for it. Eventually it changed a bit though, and I kinda figured it out.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
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