A Place to share/write whatever we’re working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc

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Viewing 15 posts - 91 through 105 (of 2,157 total)
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  • #133830
    Anonymous
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 8156

      @keilah-h.

      Naja reminding Franz to say “please.” 🤣🤣🤣 That was too funny.

      LOL, yesssss!!!! 😂😂😂😂 Glad you thought it was funny!!! 😆😆😆

      #133832
      Keilah H.
      @keilah-h
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 5018

        @freedomwriter76 I was thinking “Jareth would totally do that too” and remembered the interactions they had in the character castle. That was too cute.

        Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

        #133836
        Anonymous
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 8156

          @keilah-h. Oh my gosh, yesss!!! That was ADORABLE!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍

          #133844
          TheArcaneAxiom
          @thearcaneaxiom
            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
            • Total Posts: 1299

            @freedomwriter76

            This looks awesome! Do you speak German? Or do you just study and implement things like that. Is this family Jewish or German?

            He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

            #133853
            Keilah H.
            @keilah-h
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 5018

              @freedomwriter76 I might add another young character sometime later…..I loved writing Jareth.

              Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.

              #133854
              Anonymous
                • Rank: Chosen One
                • Total Posts: 8156

                @thearcaneaxiom.

                This looks awesome! Do you speak German? Or do you just study and implement things like that. Is this family Jewish or German?

                Aww, thanks!!! 💕💕💕

                I do not, lol. 😅😆 But I’ve read books with some German in them and I can speak and write a bit of German, but mostly, I just implement the few words I know into my writing. 🙂

                The family is German, since Jonathan is in the Hitler Youth, and Riker is an Officer in the Schutzstaffel, or, more commonly abbreviated as the SS. 😉

                #133860
                TheArcaneAxiom
                @thearcaneaxiom
                  • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                  • Total Posts: 1299

                  @freedomwriter76

                  Cool! I can tell this will probably get emotionally intense, as all stories set in WWII are.

                  He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                  #133864
                  Esther
                  @esther-c
                    • Rank: Chosen One
                    • Total Posts: 3479

                    @lightoverdarkness6

                    Oooh. That sounds so interesting!! I enjoyed reading it and am now even more intrigued in your story!! Dylan sounds really cool! 😀

                    @freedomwriter76

                    I really enjoyed reading that!! One thing I will point out though.

                    Riker’s sister came forward, Naja still in her arms. She looked up at Riker with a playful smirk. “Have you gotten taller or am I just mistaken?”

                    “Maybe you got shorter, Angelina.”

                    Angelina set Naja on the floor and raised an eyebrow. “You must tease me, Riker?”

                    Riker wrapped an arm around her, giving her a hug. “What else are older brothers for, Ang?”

                    Angelina wrapped an arm around him, hugging him back. “You’re a pest, but how I’ve missed you.”

                    “I’ve missed you too.” Riker whispered, giving her one final squeeze.

                    So, I can relate to Angelina in this moment, lol. My brother teases me all the time about being short. (Even though I’m not. He’s just really tall. XD) In this case, Angelina’s response feels natural enough, but I feel like it could be more so. I don’t know her personality, so what I’m saying may not apply at all. XD

                    Anyway, if my older brother said something like that to me, I would reply with something more like “Really?” Instead of, “You must tease me, [insert brother name]?”

                    And then when she says, “You’re a pest, but how I’ve missed you.” Maybe it could be changed to: “Surprisingly enough, I’ve actually missed you.”

                    Then again, what she says and how she says it all relates to her personality. So all of that may be of no importance. XD

                     

                     

                    Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

                    #133865
                    Esther
                    @esther-c
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 3479

                      Oh wait… was I not supposed to give critique on this forum…? 😅

                      Oops…

                      XD

                       

                      Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

                      #133866
                      Esther
                      @esther-c
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 3479

                        @80strish

                        That was so funny!! I love her already!

                        Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

                        #133881
                        Anonymous
                          • Rank: Chosen One
                          • Total Posts: 8156

                          @esther-c. Thank you so much!!! 💕💕💕💕

                          And you’re okay!!! I appreciate constructive critism.

                          #133897
                          Felicity
                          @felicity
                            • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                            • Total Posts: 812

                            @godlyfantasy12

                            Franz….grhhhh.

                            Eli reminds me of this little boy I babysat one time. He wasn’t deaf but he had some disabilities and he was really sweet and clingy.

                             

                            He must increase, but I must decrease.

                            #133912
                            MineralizedWritings
                            @mineralizedwritings
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 3005

                              @freedomwriter76

                              Aww, thanks!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕

                              Yw! <3<33

                              Ahh, IKR!? He’s just so precious!!!! 😍😍😍😍

                              So precious!! XDXD

                              If you don’t mind me asking, what is it exactly that you love about Riker??? Just kinda curious to see WHY everyone loves him…🤭’

                              Hmmm… lets see…

                              1. He has a cute name lol
                              2. He’s really relatable!
                              3. He needs a hug 😭
                              4. I get his struggles (not on the same level thankfully XD)
                              5. Your love for him is infectious 🤣😂
                              6. He seems like he cares about others! He feels really bad, but he also loves his family.
                              7. I wanna tell him to stop letting people walk all over him! I also get that’s easier said than done.

                              Oof that was a long list…. XD

                               

                               

                               

                              "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                              #133913
                              Anonymous
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 8156

                                @mineralizedwritings.

                                So precious!! XDXD

                                I KNOWWWWW!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

                                1. He has a cute name lol

                                AHH, I’m sooo glad you like his name!!! It IS adorable…🥰🤭

                                2. He’s really relatable!

                                Ahh, I’m glad!!! He’s relatable to me, and I’m soo glad he’s relatable to everyone else too!!! 😁

                                3. He needs a hug 😭

                                That’s FOR SURE!!!! 😭💕

                                4. I get his struggles (not on the same level thankfully XD)

                                Me too!!! I think that’s what makes him so relatable! 😉🥰

                                5. Your love for him is infectious 🤣😂

                                LOL…I guess it is! 🥰😆😂

                                6. He seems like he cares about others! He feels really bad, but he also loves his family

                                Ahhh, IKR!?!?!? 🥰🥰🥰🥰

                                7. I wanna tell him to stop letting people walk all over him! I also get that’s easier said than done.

                                Yeah…poor baby needs to stand up to some people! 😢 He will, though…just you wait…😏🤭💕

                                Oof that was a long list…. XD

                                THERE’S JUST SO MANY REASONS TO LOVE HIMMMM!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

                                #133915
                                MineralizedWritings
                                @mineralizedwritings
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 3005

                                  @freedomwriter76

                                  yep! Too many reasons 😍😍😍😍

                                  Rueban’s still my fav though. XD

                                  "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

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