A Place to share/write whatever we’re working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc

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Viewing 15 posts - 886 through 900 (of 2,157 total)
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  • #143085
    hybridlore
    @hybridlore
      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
      • Total Posts: 1574

      @freedomwriter76

      Awesome!! ❤️ (You write a lot!! 😂 I wish I wrote this much!)

      It’s really well written — but . . . Adinah dies. .  right? 😭

      Ik, I’ve never done brothers before but all your stories are making me want to !!! Also I love ww2!

      (Side note: have you read the light in hidden places before? it’s ww2 historical fiction and it’s really good!!)

      WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*

      #143089
      MineralizedWritings
      @mineralizedwritings
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3006

        @freedomwriter76

        Boo-hoo this is so sad 😭 little Leo!!

         

        "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

        #143091
        Anonymous
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 8156

          @esther-c ahh, ikr!??? 😭😭😭😭❤️


          @mineralizedwritings
          AHHH, I KNOWWWWWW!!!!! 😭😭😭 yessssss, little baby Leo!!! ❤️


          @hybridlore
          awwww, tysm girl!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ (haha, i do!! XD I just make time for it, that’s all 🤣)

          tysm!!!! Ahhh…actually…uhm…no…welllll, i haven’t fully decided yet…but Felix divorces her after Wolfgang is born, she doesn’t die…and she may come back in the book with The Bois 🤐

          Ahh, yessss, brother dynamics are so much fun to write!!! You should totally try it!!! Yesss, WWII is such an interesting period!!!

           

          (I have not!!!! What’s it specifically about??? *sits waiting, very interested* XD)

          #143095
          hybridlore
          @hybridlore
            • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
            • Total Posts: 1574

            @freedomwriter76

            Yw!!! Ahhhh, got it . . . 😭

            I will!! Hopefully. . . maybe . . at some point. xD

            It’s about a Catholic girl (a real person) who hid Jews . . . with her little sister . . . and a bunch of Germans in the same house 😳. It’s really good!! I will say though that it did have a scene that was . . . weird. (Nothing bad, just her kissing a guy she didn’t really know . . laying on the couch. :/ But nothing that’s . . you know. . . . . . it’s mostly him wanting to kiss her, and she gets away. Idk if your parents are super picky about what you read — just wanted to let you know) But it was really sweet and well written!! Definiteyl recommend it!!

            WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*

            #143704
            Esther
            @esther-c
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 3480

              @freedomwriter76 @godlyfantasy12 @hybridlore @lightoverdarkness6 @mineralizedwritings @euodia-vision @starshiness @anyone-else!

              Ok, y’all… I just wrote this chapter and… 😭

              It almost brought me to tears. 😢

              First, a little context. This is in the second draft of my first book in my trilogy. They’ve gone through a lot (which you see explained later in the chapter) but so far, Ev and his brothers’ parents haven’t contacted or tried to find their sons after they had run away. But… this is the point where they show up… So, enjoy! (The end is just so sweet, y’all. 🥺)

              (It’s a little long. A little over 1800 words)

              Ev and the rest of the group spent the rest of the next morning painting, painting, and painting some more. The bus was almost finished. They had used a ladder to reach the top and Destry and Asher, with the help of Ruben, managed to replace the broken glass.

              Ev made one more brushstroke, then stepped back to admire his work. He shrugged. It looked good enough. He shook his head, his sweat-drenched hair spraying drops of liquid everywhere.

              “Everton!” Lukas said, stepping away. “Dude, seriously?”

              Ev smirked. “Sorry, didn’t see ya there.”

              Lukas shook his head and rolled his eyes. Ev set his paintbrush down and took a few steps back from the bus, putting his hands on his hips. “You think we’re done?”

              Ruben stepped back as well. He slowly nodded. “Yep,” he added one more dab of paint. “I think so. By tomorrow morning, we’ll be able to head to—”

              Ev furrowed his brow and followed where Ruben’s gaze was fixed on a car coming up the road. It looked vaguely familiar to Ev…

              “Everyone, don’t let them see you,” Ruben instructed, as the group crouched low behind the bus.

              Ev bit his lip as the car came closer, hoping that it would just keep driving. It came closer… and closer…

              The sound of moving tires stopped. The engine was turned off. It took everything in Ev not to hop up and face the intruders. Ruben slowly stood up, just enough to where he could see through the windows. His face fell. “Barlowe boys, someone’s here to see you.”

              Ev cocked an eyebrow as he stood up. When he caught sight of who it was, his fists immediately clenched.

              His parents.

              Lukas cast Ev and Asher a scared look, his face drained of all color but white. Ev gave Lukas a squeeze on the shoulder, then followed Asher around to the front of the bus.

              Ev caught his father’s eye. The two of them didn’t break eye contact.

              “How did you know we were here?” Ev said, keeping his voice steady and controlled.

              “We tracked you on your cell phone. I’m surprised that you didn’t think of that in the first place,” Malyk said, the corner of his mouth turning up in a slight smirk.

              Asher took a step forward. “What do you want?”

              “You three are coming home with me,” Malyk said, taking two steps forward.

              “I will not,” Asher said. “I’m a legal adult, you can’t do that.”

              Malyk gave a stiff nod. “Right, but I’m still taking Everton and Lukas back home.”

              Ev’s nails dug into his flesh as he clenched his fists even harder. “No.”

              Malyk raised an eyebrow. “No?”

              “You heard me.”

              “I don’t care. You’re my property and you’re coming home with me.” Malyk walked forward with determined strides and reached for Ev’s arm. Ev avoided his grasp.

              How dare he call them his property!

              “I’m not coming back,” Ev said, forcing back tears. “And neither is Lukas.”

              Out of the corner of his eye, Ev saw the rest of the group slowly trickle out from the behind the bus, concern on their faces.

              Malyk’s face hardened. “Yes you are.”

              “No I am not.”

              “Yes you are!” Malyk’s voice rose.

              “No, I won’t.” Ev kept his voice steady and firm.

              “Yes you are and that is an order!” Malyk said, his face red, his words stinging.

              One tear slid down Ev’s cheek. “I will never go back there. That is not my ‘home.’ I will never call it my home.”

              Malyk shook with rage. “You listen here, Everton Barlowe,” he was mere inches away from Ev’s face. “You are coming back home with me and that is final.”

              Ev leaned slightly closer. “I left for a reason.”

              Malyk seemed surprised at those words. He took a step back, his gaze unwavering and locked with Ev’s in silent warfare.

              Ev smirked, letting his words sink in. “Did that offend you?”

              Malyk narrowed his eyes.

              “Ev,” Ami’s soft voice gently called from behind him. Ev felt his mouth twitch.

              Malyk noticed and straightened his back. “You are only going to cause more trouble.”

              Ev scoffed. “More trouble? Oh, so you did notice me when I was younger, huh. I thought I was just…” he threw his hands out, “invisible to you.”

              Malyk pressed his lips together. Ev could tell his father was getting more angry with every word he said, so Ev didn’t stop. He only added more fuel to the fire. “I’m surprised you actually took time to notice what I did. But all you noticed was what I did wrong, apparently.” He paused for a moment, feeling his heart rate rising. “You want me to go home? Well, I can’t.” He leaned closer, meeting his father’s cold, dark eyes. “I don’t have a home.”

              Malyk’s mouth twitched. Ev let out a breath. His words had hit their mark.

              Ruben cleared his throat. “Let’s just discuss this as men, shall we?”

              Malyk nodded curtly. Ev looked over at Ruben, then glanced at Asher. He still felt his heart pounding and it took everything in him to hold back even more words that would only turn the fire into a blazing inferno.

              Ruben came closer. “Ev,” he sighed. “Your father wants you to go back with him. You… should.”

              Ev looked down at his shoes.

              “Malyk, may I explain why your sons came with us in the first place?”

              Malyk sighed, crossing his arms.

              Ruben turned to Ev and his brothers. “Do you mind if I tell them… everything?”

              Ev didn’t meet his eyes. Asher answered for them with a short nod.

              Ruben sighed. “You see… Asher and Ev were helping the group who performed the coup on Bayron Len.”

              Ev looked up, hoping his father would react, but he didn’t. Ruben continued, “They went back home, but soldiers came to our house shortly, trying to find out where they and the rest of the group were. We didn’t clue them in on anything, and once the soldiers left, we warned the boys. We discussed and chose to leave the Orb late that night. Me and my family had other reasons we wanted to leave… but the point is, we left.

              “We had a run in with the government out here, because their leader, who they call Reprimor Len, doesn’t like insiders. Anyone from inside the Orb. We managed to escape them, and we bought this bus… which is a long story. But, to make that long story short, we had to steal the bus, which we already owned.

              “Now we’re on our way to Angularis, for…” he shrugged slightly, “multiple reasons.”

              Malyk sighed, uncrossing his arms. “I’m still not pleased.”

              Ev managed to keep himself from rolling his eyes. He’s never pleased. Especially with anything Ev did.

              Ruben sighed. “Malyk, I can’t make decisions for you or your sons, but I can make a suggestion. If you took the boys back to the Orb, they would probably be found either by the soldiers out here or in the Orb. And you may be taken too. Coming out here and talking to us, may have put you and your wife in danger. Maybe you can join us.”

              “Join you?”

              Ruben nodded. “You see, when Bayron Len died, he gave Ami, my daughter, a medallion and said, ‘I know there’s a cure. Find it.’ We have no idea what that means, or what the cure even is, but by now we’ve deduced that it’s more psychological than physical, if you know what I mean.”

              Malyk furrowed his brow. “You’re looking for something, but don’t know what it is?”

              Ruben half-smiled. “I guess so.”

              “And you’re going to Angularis?”

              Ruben nodded. Ev eyed Malyk, whose eyebrows had raised at the mention of Angularis. He was clearly deep in thought.

              “Alright… we’ll come along. But,” he added, “we have our own reasons for doing so and are not obligated to help you, protect you, or petition you as innocent in the case of your capture.”

              Ruben nodded. “Fair enough.” He held out a hand and the two men shook on it.

              Ev ground his teeth, his anger, which had started to subside, boiling up again. How dare Malyk do such a thing! Ev wanted freedom, and now he had to fall under the rule of his father’s iron fist once again.

              Ruben let out a breath and rested his thumbs in his pockets. “Alright then,” he said, obviously trying to ease the tension that hung in the air like a wet rag. “We need some people to run into the building and stock up on supplies so we can leave first thing tomorrow morning.”

              “I’ll go,” Ev muttered, but loud enough so Ruben could hear. Ruben glanced over at Malyk, as if for permission to let Ev go. Ev swallowed, ignoring the choke in his throat.

              Ami smiled. “I’ll go too.”

              Ruben nodded, meeting his daughter’s eye. “Alright.”

              The two grabbed boxes from the bus to hold the supplies. After grabbing a few, Ev turned on his heel and stomped to the building, letting Ami in first, then letting the door shut hard behind him. He kept his gaze directed downward and threw the box to the floor. With anger-filled motions, he slammed the cans into the boxes.

              Ami paused what she was doing and faced Ev. “Ev, do you, uh, wanna talk?”

              Ev didn’t reply, but focused on the task at hand. Tears threatened to fall and he forced them not to.

              Ami stopped and walked over to him. He thrust his hand into the box to put a can in, but Ami grabbed his wrist. “Everton,” she said, her voice firm, yet full of sympathy.

              Ev slowly put the can down and Ami let go. He reluctantly looked up at her emerald green eyes. They stood in silence for a moment.

              “Ami, I…” he bit his lip, holding back tears, but couldn’t any longer. A sob escaped his throat and a few tears slipped down his cheek. He looked away and wiped his eyes, trying to control himself. “I meant it when I said I left for a reason. I can’t travel all the way to Angularis with him. I just can’t!” More tears spilled down his cheeks.

              Ami gently lifted his chin with her hand and directed his gaze to meet hers. “Listen to me, Everton Barlowe. I know you’re stronger than this. You are not so much of a coward that you would let the past scare you.”

              Ev bit his lip.

              “Think of this as a new beginning. You can try to reconcile with your father.”

              “But—”

              “Ev, just listen. You don’t want to forgive him, I know. Forgiveness isn’t easy. But I want you to know one thing.” She paused and sucked in a breath. “No matter what your father or anyone else says, you are loved. If no one else on this planet will love you, I know two people who will.”

              Ev looked up at her expectantly, a tear rolling down his cheek.

              “God and me.”

              Another sob escaped Ev’s throat, giving way to more tears. Ami threw her arms around him and he wrapped his arms around her waist, falling into her gentle embrace.

              Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

              #143706
              hybridlore
              @hybridlore
                • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                • Total Posts: 1574

                @esther-c

                Awww that was soo cute!! ♥️♥️

                You’re a great writer!! Definitely made me want to read this book 😉

                WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*

                #143708
                Esther
                @esther-c
                  • Rank: Chosen One
                  • Total Posts: 3480

                  @hybridlore

                  I know, I loved it!! 🥹

                  Aww, tysm!!! 😊❤️ I’ll let you know when it’s in the final draft or published! (Which will most likely be many years down the road 😂)

                  Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

                  #143709
                  hybridlore
                  @hybridlore
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1574

                    @esther-c

                    🤗♥️♥️

                    You’re so welcome!! Ikr XD

                    WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*

                    #143711
                    Light
                    @lightoverdarkness6
                      • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                      • Total Posts: 1644

                      @esther-c

                      Oh my goodness girl!! That was so sweetttt 🥹🥹❤️❤️ I loved it so much!! Kinda reminded me of Katniss and Peeta from The Hunger Games!

                      #HugRikerSquad

                      #143761
                      Esther
                      @esther-c
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 3480

                        @lightoverdarkness6

                        I know!! 🥹❤️ I’m so glad you loved it!! 😊

                        Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende

                        #143768
                        hybridlore
                        @hybridlore
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1574

                          @esther-c

                          Oh thanks!! Maybe if I had looked I would have found it XD

                          WE ARE REVIVING THE PROTECTION SQUAD! *steals Joseph, Julian, and Sabina from Ellette*

                          #143779
                          Anonymous
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 8156

                            @esther-c AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

                            i feel so bad for Ev, but i’m so glad Ami is there for him 🥹

                            #143782
                            Euodia
                            @euodia-vision
                              • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                              • Total Posts: 1308

                              @esther-c

                              AWWWWWWW that was SO sweet!

                              I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick and I was like, "That log had a child

                              #143793
                              GodlyFantasy12
                              @godlyfantasy12
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 6645

                                @freedomwriter76 NOOOOO!!!! MY HEART 😭 DON’T DO THIS TO ME!!! *sobs* WHAT CHANGED THEM SO DRASTICALLY….HOW BADLY WERE THEY HURT?! AND BABY HIMMLER OH MY GOSH….

                                 

                                 

                                AND HE LOVED ADINAH AND LEO SO MUCH H-HOW….?

                                 

                                 

                                this honestly makes me think of Paxton’s family….

                                Specifically Aramis….

                                #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                                #ProtectMarcel
                                #ProtectSeb

                                #143795
                                GodlyFantasy12
                                @godlyfantasy12
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 6645

                                  I found a song for Aramis btw…it’s from the Oh Hellos album Dear Wormwood. It’s the song Exeunt

                                  #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                                  #ProtectMarcel
                                  #ProtectSeb

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