A Place to share/write whatever we’re working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc

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  • #135674
    Anonymous
      • Rank: Chosen One
      • Total Posts: 8156

      @mineralizedwritings.

      LOVE IT!! I NEED MORE TINY LEO!!

      AHHHHH, THANK YOU!!!!! πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’— Haha, lol, me too!!! 🀣😍

      So sweet! You did it so well!

      Thanks so much!!! ❀️❀️❀️

      Not exactly a critique but when the sister questions about what he’s doing with the decorations, it wasn’t obvious to me she meant ill will, so it seems a little like Leo over reacted and started it XD

      Haha…yeah…Leo is a little bit at fault too…πŸ˜… Ella’s his little girl now though, and he’s a little overprotective of her and Talia at first…πŸ˜…β€οΈ

      I can tell from reading the rest she’s not very nice though…

      Oh yeah…Annalise is a jerk. Thankfully Steffi changes, but Annalise??? Not so much…πŸ˜…

      On another note, how are you doing? Was church good?

      I’m doing really well!!! πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’— Been doing a lot of writing lately (my WIP with Leon/Riker is at 115 pages!!! 🀩🀩🀩 Sooo happy!!!) and life is going really well!!!

      Church was really good!!! ❀️ It was about the story of the paralytic in the book of Mark in chapter 2, and about how the man’s friends carried his mat and how that’s a metaphor for how we should help “carry the mat” for others by being there for them, and how we need to have people to “carry our mat” when we it’s a load we can’t bear alone. It was a really interesting and beautiful message. πŸ’—

      (oh, and not to mention the fact that I held the absolute CUTEST little boy ever for a bit!!! 😍😍😍)

      How about you, Min? How’s life, and how was your church service? πŸ˜ƒπŸ’—

      #135675
      MineralizedWritings
      @mineralizedwritings
        • Rank: Chosen One
        • Total Posts: 3032

        @freedomwriter76

        You are welcome!! ❀️❀️

        Oh, I see. That makes sense. XD

         

        That’s great! So glad you’re doing well! πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—115 pages? 🀩🀩🀩

        I love that metaphor about carrying the mat, sounds like a great message! AWW! That sounds adorable!

        I’m ok, lots of driving practice this week so I can meet the requirement of 50 practice hours and get my licence before spring classes start. 😬 can you believe I might be driving myself to school?! Eeck!

        I reached a little bit of a hard spot in my wip, I need to expand the world a little. I’m getting towards the rising action though! I don’t have any super dramatic climax, but Tauren and Lesli are going to have some first encounters with outsiders (I think Tauren might get his watch stolen by one, ack) and explore the outer reaches of the mines more. I prayed about it awhile ago because I couldn’t come up with the next part, and I think I’ve got it now, but I still need to organize it a bit lol.

        I did come up with something I’m super excited about though, there’s an underground bridge over a small revine, and the bridge swings on it’s own. Obviously they are super freaked out about that, but it’s actually just wind. XD the revine connects to the outside into a large crevasse, which is the major landmark on the outside of the bunkers. So, if you walked at the bottom, you’d come out onto the crevasse floor. So… they actually can’t get out that easily, but they get a taste of what it’s like out there.

        And as of right now I’m working on a book poster! It’s brown scale (is that a thing? XD) like only brown, just different shades. It’s got Tauren and Lesli on the front of course lol.

         

        Church was good! I was kinda tired and I think I’ve already forgotten some of it… oops. I’m sure it’s somewhere in my brain. XD

        "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

        #135678
        Keilah H.
        @keilah-h
          • Rank: Chosen One
          • Total Posts: 5154

          @godlyfantasy12 Sorry for replying late.

          I love all those designs and names!

          Oh, and for the Kobolds, I have a few ideas, but they all depend on where they live, and if they’re confirmed humanoid or can look like anything.

          "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

          #135681
          Keilah H.
          @keilah-h
            • Rank: Chosen One
            • Total Posts: 5154

            Oh,Β  I just saw you said they live in caves. Oops.

            "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

            #135682
            GodlyFantasy12
            @godlyfantasy12
              • Rank: Chosen One
              • Total Posts: 6647

              @freedomwriter76 AHHHHHH BABY DIETRICH AND ADOLPHUS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBB

              #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
              #ProtectMarcel
              #ProtectSeb

              #135683
              Gwyndalf the Wise
              @gwyndalf-the-wise
                • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                • Total Posts: 404

                @freedomwriter76

                AHHH they’re so adorable! The tiny brothers *melts*

                Also the fact that Dietrich origami. XD or at least that’s what I’m assuming he’s doing

                *round of applause*

                "...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
                (Part of) Isaiah 45:19

                #135692
                PrincesaChronicle22
                @princesachronicle22
                  • Rank: Knight in Shining Armor
                  • Total Posts: 807

                  @freedomwriter76

                  Yeah I get what you mean! The Shaded are kind of natzi germany types, though their leader is kind of brainwashed in a sense?

                  And yeah the rock thing I definitletly need to explain better I think, even in context I feel like it would be too confusing for my readers XD

                  AND I LOVE THE SCENE YOU WROTE!! They are all so cute!! Though Frida may be looking all innocent but I still want to claw her eyes Lol

                  Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. -1 Corinthians
                  And guess what? His is eternal (:

                  #135693
                  TheArcaneAxiom
                  @thearcaneaxiom
                    • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                    • Total Posts: 1306

                    @freedomwriter76

                    I like it, it’s always fun writing from the perspective of a child! I’ve only read a little bit of your writing before, so I don’t have full context, but it’s good. I don’t think I really have any criticisms, but the pull back to reality felt kinda sudden to me, but just something like a single line in between the flashback and current day would help, just to make them more distinguished from each other. Really liked it though, good job!

                    He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.

                    #135697
                    GodlyFantasy12
                    @godlyfantasy12
                      • Rank: Chosen One
                      • Total Posts: 6647

                      @keilah-h luv to hear ur ideas!! And yea idk I’ll take any ideas cuz their look isn’t confirmed

                      @freedomwriter76 so I actually discovered that November used to do origami when he was little! And he occasionally does it but not really due to his father’s verbal abuse…

                      #IfMarcelDiesIRiot
                      #ProtectMarcel
                      #ProtectSeb

                      #135698
                      MineralizedWritings
                      @mineralizedwritings
                        • Rank: Chosen One
                        • Total Posts: 3032

                        @godlyfantasy12

                        November doing origami?! That’s so cuteeee 🀩πŸ₯°πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ I do origami so it makes me happy he does too πŸ₯°

                        "And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."

                        #135706
                        Light
                        @lightoverdarkness6
                          • Rank: Eccentric Mentor
                          • Total Posts: 1647

                          @freedomwriter76

                          DIETRICH 😭😭😭!!! He’s soooo sweet. And Oh My Goodness LEO!!! 10 year old Leo is adorable 😍😍😍❀️❀️❀️

                          And LITTLE ADOLPHUS AND DIETRICH!!! ❀️❀️❀️

                          And UGH Annalise sounds like a brat πŸ˜…πŸ˜‘.

                          That sounds like a great Sunday! I love that story and message. We actually didn’t make it to church, heh. We went to bed pretty late Saturday night because of celebrating my birthday, so we were all exhausted yesterday. I’m sure the lesson was great though! πŸ˜…

                          (AWW Holding cute little boys at church sounds amazing!! ❀️❀️❀️)

                          #HugRikerSquad

                          #135726
                          Esther
                          @esther-c
                            • Rank: Chosen One
                            • Total Posts: 3572

                            @freedomwriter76

                            LOVE IT!!!

                            The boys as, well… boys, lol, was so adorable to read!!

                            I love writing my charries as little kids!! πŸ₯°

                            Write what should not be forgotten. β€” Isabel Allende

                            #135728
                            Anonymous
                              • Rank: Chosen One
                              • Total Posts: 8156

                              @lightoverdarkness6. @godlyfantasy12. @thearcaneaxiom. @princesachronicle22. @gwyndalf-the-wise. @esther-c. Aww, thank all of y’all so much!!!! I’m so glad y’all like it!!! πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

                              #135729
                              Keilah H.
                              @keilah-h
                                • Rank: Chosen One
                                • Total Posts: 5154

                                @godlyfantasy12 Ok!

                                Here are two ideas, mostly based off of the idea that they live in caves. They’re also not as finished as I could’ve made them so that you can add more that befits your story, like their culture and stuff:

                                1. They’re a lizard-like, reptilian race, but not so much to the point of looking snake-like and evil. They have tails, which have broad, spade-like tips. Their claws are configured for digging (unless they use shovels and/or machines, I don’t know about that part). Their eyes are specially made to see in the darkness.
                                2. They’re humanoid, but short. Their eyesight isn’t particularly strong, but they have heightened senses of touch and smell to make up for it. They’re sexually dimorphic (male and female look a bit different), and the males have beard-like whiskers they use to find their way around in the dark.

                                I can give you more if you want, but I thought it’d be a good idea just to give you two for now.

                                "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

                                #135731
                                Keilah H.
                                @keilah-h
                                  • Rank: Chosen One
                                  • Total Posts: 5154

                                  @freedomwriter76 That was really cute! I honestly love seeing charries as kids.

                                  "When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers

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