Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › A Place to share/write whatever weβre working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc
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March 5, 2023 at 6:44 pm #135674Anonymous
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
LOVE IT!! I NEED MORE TINY LEO!!
AHHHHH, THANK YOU!!!!! ππππ Haha, lol, me too!!! π€£π
So sweet! You did it so well!
Thanks so much!!! β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
Not exactly a critique but when the sister questions about what heβs doing with the decorations, it wasnβt obvious to me she meant ill will, so it seems a little like Leo over reacted and started it XD
Haha…yeah…Leo is a little bit at fault too…π Ella’s his little girl now though, and he’s a little overprotective of her and Talia at first…π β€οΈ
I can tell from reading the rest sheβs not very nice thoughβ¦
Oh yeah…Annalise is a jerk. Thankfully Steffi changes, but Annalise??? Not so much…π
On another note, how are you doing? Was church good?
I’m doing really well!!! πππ Been doing a lot of writing lately (my WIP with Leon/Riker is at 115 pages!!! π€©π€©π€© Sooo happy!!!) and life is going really well!!!
Church was really good!!! β€οΈ It was about the story of the paralytic in the book of Mark in chapter 2, and about how the man’s friends carried his mat and how that’s a metaphor for how we should help “carry the mat” for others by being there for them, and how we need to have people to “carry our mat” when we it’s a load we can’t bear alone. It was a really interesting and beautiful message. π
(oh, and not to mention the fact that I held the absolute CUTEST little boy ever for a bit!!! πππ)
How about you, Min? How’s life, and how was your church service? ππ
March 5, 2023 at 6:58 pm #135675@freedomwriter76
You are welcome!! β€οΈβ€οΈ
Oh, I see. That makes sense. XD
That’s great! So glad you’re doing well! πππ115 pages? π€©π€©π€©
I love that metaphor about carrying the mat, sounds like a great message! AWW! That sounds adorable!
I’m ok, lots of driving practice this week so I can meet the requirement of 50 practice hours and get my licence before spring classes start. π¬ can you believe I might be driving myself to school?! Eeck!
I reached a little bit of a hard spot in my wip, I need to expand the world a little. I’m getting towards the rising action though! I don’t have any super dramatic climax, but Tauren and Lesli are going to have some first encounters with outsiders (I think Tauren might get his watch stolen by one, ack) and explore the outer reaches of the mines more. I prayed about it awhile ago because I couldn’t come up with the next part, and I think I’ve got it now, but I still need to organize it a bit lol.
I did come up with something I’m super excited about though, there’s an underground bridge over a small revine, and the bridge swings on it’s own. Obviously they are super freaked out about that, but it’s actually just wind. XD the revine connects to the outside into a large crevasse, which is the major landmark on the outside of the bunkers. So, if you walked at the bottom, you’d come out onto the crevasse floor. So… they actually can’t get out that easily, but they get a taste of what it’s like out there.
And as of right now I’m working on a book poster! It’s brown scale (is that a thing? XD) like only brown, just different shades. It’s got Tauren and Lesli on the front of course lol.
Church was good! I was kinda tired and I think I’ve already forgotten some of it… oops. I’m sure it’s somewhere in my brain. XD
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
March 5, 2023 at 7:15 pm #135678@godlyfantasy12 Sorry for replying late.
I love all those designs and names!
Oh, and for the Kobolds, I have a few ideas, but they all depend on where they live, and if they’re confirmed humanoid or can look like anything.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
March 5, 2023 at 7:39 pm #135681Oh,Β I just saw you said they live in caves. Oops.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
March 5, 2023 at 7:51 pm #135682@freedomwriter76 AHHHHHH BABY DIETRICH AND ADOLPHUS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBB
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebMarch 5, 2023 at 8:08 pm #135683@freedomwriter76
AHHH they’re so adorable! The tiny brothers *melts*
Also the fact that Dietrich origami. XD
or at least that’s what I’m assuming he’s doing*round of applause*
"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19March 5, 2023 at 9:27 pm #135692@freedomwriter76
Yeah I get what you mean! The Shaded are kind of natzi germany types, though their leader is kind of brainwashed in a sense?
And yeah the rock thing I definitletly need to explain better I think, even in context I feel like it would be too confusing for my readers XD
AND I LOVE THE SCENE YOU WROTE!! They are all so cute!! Though Frida may be looking all innocent but I still want to claw her eyes Lol
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. -1 Corinthians
And guess what? His is eternal (:March 5, 2023 at 9:38 pm #135693@freedomwriter76
I like it, it’s always fun writing from the perspective of a child! I’ve only read a little bit of your writing before, so I don’t have full context, but it’s good. I don’t think I really have any criticisms, but the pull back to reality felt kinda sudden to me, but just something like a single line in between the flashback and current day would help, just to make them more distinguished from each other. Really liked it though, good job!
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
March 5, 2023 at 10:37 pm #135697@keilah-h luv to hear ur ideas!! And yea idk Iβll take any ideas cuz their look isnβt confirmed
@freedomwriter76 so I actually discovered that November used to do origami when he was little! And he occasionally does it but not really due to his fatherβs verbal abuseβ¦
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebMarch 5, 2023 at 10:53 pm #135698November doing origami?! That’s so cuteeee π€©π₯°ππ I do origami so it makes me happy he does too π₯°
- This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by MineralizedWritings.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
March 6, 2023 at 7:33 am #135706@freedomwriter76
DIETRICH πππ!!! He’s soooo sweet. And Oh My Goodness LEO!!! 10 year old Leo is adorable πππβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
And LITTLE ADOLPHUS AND DIETRICH!!! β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
And UGH Annalise sounds like a brat π π‘.
That sounds like a great Sunday! I love that story and message. We actually didn’t make it to church, heh. We went to bed pretty late Saturday night because of celebrating my birthday, so we were all exhausted yesterday. I’m sure the lesson was great though! π
(AWW Holding cute little boys at church sounds amazing!! β€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ)
#HugRikerSquad
March 6, 2023 at 3:15 pm #135726@freedomwriter76
LOVE IT!!!
The boys as, well⦠boys, lol, was so adorable to read!!
I love writing my charries as little kids!! π₯°
Write what should not be forgotten. β Isabel Allende
March 6, 2023 at 3:24 pm #135728Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@lightoverdarkness6. @godlyfantasy12. @thearcaneaxiom. @princesachronicle22. @gwyndalf-the-wise. @esther-c. Aww, thank all of y’all so much!!!! I’m so glad y’all like it!!! πππ
March 6, 2023 at 3:24 pm #135729@godlyfantasy12 Ok!
Here are two ideas, mostly based off of the idea that they live in caves. They’re also not as finished as I could’ve made them so that you can add more that befits your story, like their culture and stuff:
- They’re a lizard-like, reptilian race, but not so much to the point of looking snake-like and evil. They have tails, which have broad, spade-like tips. Their claws are configured for digging (unless they use shovels and/or machines, I don’t know about that part). Their eyes are specially made to see in the darkness.
- They’re humanoid, but short. Their eyesight isn’t particularly strong, but they have heightened senses of touch and smell to make up for it. They’re sexually dimorphic (male and female look a bit different), and the males have beard-like whiskers they use to find their way around in the dark.
I can give you more if you want, but I thought it’d be a good idea just to give you two for now.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
March 6, 2023 at 3:26 pm #135731@freedomwriter76 That was really cute! I honestly love seeing charries as kids.
"When in doubt, eat cheese crackers."-me to my charries who don't even know about cheese crackers
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