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Cool! You can be vague if you want. I am curious, but for the sake spoilers, I can be patient.
Alright! 👍
I’m really bad at that, when I’m asked about something about my worldbuilding, even though it would be a spoiler, I just kinda dump it all out. I need to work on being more vague.
Lol XD
Yeah. My siblings don’t like it when I’m vague about my book. I’ve read the first draft to them, and when they wanted to know what happened next and I didn’t have it written, they wouldn’t appreciate me giving vague clues or none at all. XD
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
Thanks!
ok, I’ll keep that in mind. The first book actually refers to something different from the other ones, the term afterthoughts is used to refer to a unwanted group of people, where as the other one literally mean thoughts. So maybe I should change it to m=not have parallel titles and instead have “afterthoughts” as the series title, and separate different titles for each book. Thanks for the ideas!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
That sounds like a really good idea!! 😀
You’re welcome!! 🙂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
That was really cool to read! Are you going to post more? I’m curious to see what the rock thing is. Also, Anwyn giving everyone nicknames was hilarious.
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
Oh, and @esther-c , I just read your scene and I really liked it! The sunrise description was really pretty.
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
Yeah I get that XD but I’m glad you liked the style!
Thanks, I’m not sure how to help me either so I understand XD. And yeah I get what your saying about the rock and light thing. It’s definitley good to know that from an outside perspective it doesn’t make sense XD because I know exactly what is happening there and what magic is at play, but sometimes I think I need to be better at remembering that my readers don’t Lol.
I’m glad you liked it! And thanks for the suggestions 🙂
Yeah, I’ve considered a few options like that, but my main problem is, that this has already happened in the book. Simply a side characters view point of the scenario. She is assumed to be in leauge with the villains, but this is how I’m showing that she wasn’t at all.
So it was hard for me to state it as a full flashback because this happened already just in a different view, if that makes sense?
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. -1 Corinthians
And guess what? His is eternal (:Yeah the rock thing is hard to explain but I’ll kind of reveal more what it did to her in the next section when I write it. And I can definitley post that if you want me too when it’s done!
XD I’m glad you liked the nicknaming, I’ve switched their names so many times for humor, language problems, and all sorts of things, but I like Anwyn’s slight sass with it
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. -1 Corinthians
And guess what? His is eternal (:Yeah, I’ve considered a few options like that, but my main problem is, that this has already happened in the book. Simply a side characters view point of the scenario. She is assumed to be in leauge with the villains, but this is how I’m showing that she wasn’t at all.
So it was hard for me to state it as a full flashback because this happened already just in a different view, if that makes sense?
Oh yeah, I see what you’re saying. 👍
I just read your scene and I really liked it! The sunrise description was really pretty.
Awesome!! Thanks!! 😊
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
sorry it took me awhile to get back to y’allOooo I really like that scene! =D
However I don’t have any feedback/suggestions for you right now, sorry.AH I MUST READ MORE XD
What creature is Anwyn?
sorry I don’t have feedback/suggestions for you either"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19@gwyndalf-the-wise XD that’s okay. Anwyn is from a forgotten water race that can only speak tellapathicly, which makes it extra hard for her to understand people on land.
She looks mostly human but has translucent hair and fin type things on her arms and legs that are bound and hidden by leather right now
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. -1 Corinthians
And guess what? His is eternal (:Oh, cool!
"...I did not say to the seed of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain..."
(Part of) Isaiah 45:19Oooo I really like that scene! =D
Thank ya!!! 🥰
However I don’t have any feedback/suggestions for you right now, sorry.You’re good!! 🙂
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
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@princesachronicle22. That was really good!!! (the Shaded remind me of, like, the Nazis or the Soviets, btw…but maybe that’s just the History Buff/Nerd in me coming out!!! 🤣🤣🤣 That was random…but it had to come out. 😅)
I could really see in my head what was going on, but I will agree with Godly and say that the rock/light thing is a little confusing, but I also haven’t read your entire book, so…😅😄❤️
And I’d also suggest that maybe you could connect the next scene with, like, Vermilion says something or does something to her to bring her back to the present or something, idk…but either way, I loved reading that!!! Really intriguing!!! 😃❤️
I honestly really wanna see more at some point…🤔
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@godlyfantasy12. @lightoverdarkness6. @mineralizedwritings. @thearcaneaxiom. @princesachronicle22. @gwyndalf-the-wise. @esther-c.
Sooo…I’ve just been working on this random scene (it’s unfinished as of this moment, lol!) and wanted some thoughts. Y’all can offer some critique, but I’m mostly just curious on what y’all think of the scene/the interactions/the memory.
Here it is!!! 😃❤️
Leo held his baby brother Wolfgang, shifting him from one arm to the other when each arm tired of holding him. Wolfgang was only five months old, but he was heavy.
Reuben kept trying to slip away and play, but Joshua kept distracting him, keeping him put.
Frau Adelmann had told them to stay put. She had even dressed them up in suits! Why did they have to be fancy? Weren’t they just going to see Daddy? Leo smiled brightly, thinking about it.
They had rarely seen Daddy much ever since Mama had left. Frau Adelmann always said he was in his study or seeing his friends.
But couldn’t Daddy be around more?
Reuben ran away to the couch and Joshua chased after him, grabbing the two-year-old around the waist. Reuben screeched, and tears instantly made their way down his cheeks. “NO!” He screamed.
Joshua carried him back over as Reuben continued to punch, kick, and scream.
“Why is he being loud…?” Jakob mumbled, covering his ears.
Leo shrugged. Babies and toddlers were weird!
Footsteps and voices sounded, and Daddy entered the room, followed by a woman who was trailed by two boys who weren’t much taller than Leo…maybe they were as old as him!
Daddy came forward and took Reuben from Joshua’s arms, stepping forward to stand closer to the woman again. “Leo, Joshua, Jakob, come here.”
Leo obeyed, going with his brothers to stand beside Daddy. He shifted Wolfgang to his other arm, since his right arm got tired.
Daddy bounced Reuben in his arms, slowly getting him to calm. Good. Because Reuben was loud. “Leo, Joshua, Jakob, meet your new Mutti.”
Leo stared up at the woman that had come in with Daddy. She dressed fancy like Daddy. She must have been very, very rich like daddy!
But she looked nothing like Mama.
She smiled, though, and gently took Reuben from Daddy’s arms. “And this is Reuben, Felix, isn’t he?”
Daddy nodded. Smiled. “That’s Reuben, yes, Frida. Wolfgang is in Leo’s arms.”
Leo stared at the two boys, both of whom were partially hidden behind the woman’s long dress. He didn’t know who they were. But they may have been the same age as Leo! They seemed shy though. Kinda like how Joshua was sometimes.
“You’re our new Mama?” Jakob whispered, eyes slightly narrowed, nose scrunched, studying the woman.
She smiled faintly at him. “I am. I will be soon, at least. Your step-mama.”
Leo furrowed his eyebrows together. He didn’t know what that meant.
Daddy gently took Wolfgang from Leo’s arms, patting Wolfgang’s back, keeping him asleep.
The woman set Reuben down.
Reuben ran to the couch to play with his toys.
Leo faced the two boys again. “Hi! I’m Leo, what are your names?”
“Go on. Introduce yourselves to your brother.” The woman urged, grabbing the boys’ hands and pushing them forward.
The one that was a bit taller than the other stared at Leo for a long minute, and the woman pulled him away, hissing something into his ear.
Leo didn’t hear what she said, but it didn’t sound very nice.
She pushed the boy forward again, and the taller boy gave Leo a small, trembling smile. “I’m Adolphus. I’m twelve. This is Dietrich. He’s eleven.”
They were older than him? Now Leo had younger and older brothers!
“I’m ten!”
Ella’s giggle pulled Leo out of the memory.
He turned to face his daughter, music from the father-daughter dance keeping a gentle symphony in his ears.
Wolfgang or Reuben were probably playing with her, he guessed.
But no.
It was Dietrich, making animals, somehow, out of the paper decorations Frau Adelmann had made for the wedding.
Ella clapped and giggled again. “Do a puppy! Please!”
Dietrich smiled. “Sure thing.” His gaze rose though, and his green eyes met Leo’s dark brown. He froze.
Leo shook his head, leaning back against the wall. “It’s fine. You’re keeping her occupied. She likes it.”
Slowly, Dietrich nodded. “Alright, Ella, I’ll make a puppy, but first, why don’t you show me what you can do?”
“I can’t make anything…I’m bad.” Ella mumbled, whined, even.
“Oh, come on. You’ve never tried. It’s easy when you learn. Practice makes better, doesn’t it, Leo?”
Leo smiled faintly. Nodded. “It does.”
What was up with Dietrich lately…? He was almost acting like he did a long time ago. Which was shocking, weird, and scary all at the same time.
Heels clicked against the floor, stopping just short of the table. “What in the world are you doing with the decorations?”
Leo faced Annalise, raising an eyebrow. “He’s keeping Ella occupied. Besides, why would it matter to you what he’s doing?”
Annalise crossed her arms. “And who asked for your attitude?”
“You’re the one that came over with one,” Leo retorted, “and I’d appreciate it if you kept it to yourself for once.”
“Hey, don’t be a jerk.” Steffi said, coming to her sister’s side and aide.
Ella whimpered and inched backwards, huddling against the chair, Rosy clutched tight in her hands. Some people had already voiced that they didn’t like or appreciate her bringing the rather large tattered stuffed rabbit to the wedding.
But Ella loved it, and neither Leo nor Talia had the heart to make her throw it away. It was a friend to her for now, and they wouldn’t take that away from her.
“Hey…you’re scaring Ella.” Dietrich said.
Leo nodded in agreement. “You are. So why don’t you leave?”
Annalise smirked, an eyebrow hiking up. “And why would I do that?”
Also…uhm…little kid Leo was way too much fun to write. 🤣😍💗
@freedomwriter76
LOVE IT!! I NEED MORE TINY LEO!!
So sweet! You did it so well! Not exactly a critique but when the sister questions about what he’s doing with the decorations, it wasn’t obvious to me she meant ill will, so it seems a little like Leo over reacted and started it XD
I can tell from reading the rest she’s not very nice though…
On another note, how are you doing? Was church good?
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
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