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Oops, I mean the Shal’le 🤦 Sorry! XD
#HugRikerSquad
I love all the difference fae, this is so cool! I kinda want to draw a dryad now… What do the kobolds look like?
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
@loopylin yea that’s one of the things I don’t know 😅😅😅
I do know what the dryads look like tho, hopefully I got it across well? It’s easy to imagine the females (and the males for me but it might be harder for others cuz I’d have to explain? But hopefully I did ok explaining? Lol)
But sometimes the females wrap their around around them like skirts used with their tops as dresses (they wear clothes underneath obviously XD) but yea.
The main dryad I always think of is this character with red hair (she’s a villain)
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@lightoverdarkness6 thank you!!
AGH ASHER AND DYLAN!!!! Ok ok…anyway XD
as said before it’s really not some great stroke of lightning cuz uhh…I don’t feel like doing it most the time (ever) like right now I should do some workdbuilding or writing work and I don’t want to but I do at the same time XD XD
so yea…definitely just the Lord helping me, and…yea XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb@godlyfantasy12 Yeah, you explained it well. I love the idea of them covering themselves with their wings!
🎵It takes a long time to wait 🌻
What an epic Hot Wheels battle I just had!!! Who would have imagined that the black and red Lotus Concept would have survived to the very end! Beating the green and blue Country Club Muscle™ by literally trapping it against my floor mat, and box of pennies/rocks, then smashing the poor CCM to oblivion!!! 🏎️
You will love what you spend time with.
Thank you ❤️❤️!! Yeah, Dylan hasn’t really had it sunk in yet until the scene after this one, which I’ll post if you want (once I write it lol), and he’s just reeling. Everything happens so fast and once he’s got a moment to just think…well, it’s so shocking for him, understandably. And poor Asher is just going through the same kind of feelings and trauma…it’s just not the best time for them to be stuck together. And yeah, Vance is going through a bit of things as well. Heh my poor charries 😅😭
Yeah! I would to see it whenever you post it!
And Arcane, the Shalev are so interesting and cool! Love it!
And, like, how do y’all come up with that!? It’s so detailed and…just so good 😅❤️
Oops, I mean the Shal’le 🤦 Sorry! XD
Thanks! Yeah, it’s Shal’le, but no worries! As for how I come up with those sort of concepts, I got a lot of different methods, but the Shal’le specifically were a Bob Ross style happy accident, after I had a language concept that got critiqued by my uncle because of it’s useless complexity, so I came up with a reason for it to be complex. Complex meaning a language encoded into a whole other language, and then a race that could speak that, and I just followed the path from there, thinking about the consequences, good and bad, how this influences culture, values, and so on.
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
@power What did you do with the sorry remains?? Commit them to the wing-wheeled heavens?
#ProtectAdolinKholin
God bless their engines….
*places hands in prayer formation XD*
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebAWW thank you ❤️❤️❤️!! Yes I do too <3<3!! He’s soooo sweet. And my baby Asher!! I feel so bad for putting them through all this 😅😭. But it benefits them, in the end. 🙂
And yes, I will! I’m working on the next part right now actually! 🙂
AHH yes Asherrrrr ❤❤❤
Okay goooood!!!!!!!
I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick and I was like, "That log had a child
Aww thank you SO MUCH!!! Yeah it was nervewracking writing it…lol. Ah good! I’m so glad you liked it!! 🙂 ❤️❤️
Lol
Of course!!! <3
@lightoverdarkness6 @godlyfantasy12 @freedomwriter76 @euodia-vision @thearcaneaxiom @princesachronicle22 @gwyndalf-the-wise @whalekeeper @loopylin @anyone-else-who-cares-to-critiqueHey, y’all!!
So I just wrote a scene in my book while I was editing and thought I’d share. It’s mostly description, which is one of my big weaknesses when it comes to writing. I would really, really love some critique on it if you’re willing!! (I added a part with dialogue too, just so it doesn’t end too abruptly. 🙂 )
A bit of background: Only a few hours earlier, they just escaped what is called the Orb, which has covered their country for about 20 years. It slowly closed in on the nation, now only covering their district. For almost all of them, this is their first real sunrise that they’ve ever seen. The Orb simulated sunrises, but all of them longed to see the real thing. This is from Amidala’s (Ami’s) point of view.
(And Ruben and Adalynn are Ami’s parents)
*whew* Finally, here it is! 😀
Ami woke up as someone shook her awake. She slowly blinked her eyes open. Adalynn was looking down at her with a soft smile. “Wake up, honey. We’re going to watch the sun rise.”
Ami nodded, remembering, and yawned, rolling out of the bed. After a quick look in the mirror, she decided she should do a quick touch up on her hair and face. Once she slipped on her shoes, she threw on a sweatshirt. She joined the others in the hall and they slowly walked out of the inn in silence. The town was empty except for the birds that flew below in the periwinkle sky, preparing for their morning chorus.
As they marched through the meadow, cold dew soaked through Ami’s shoes. The group stopped at a place in which both the Orb and the town were to their backs. A shiver ran through Ami and she shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pockets. The group stood in a peaceful silence.
Slowly, the sky grew lighter, and the edge of the sun began to peek over the horizon. The dew glistened in its light. It illuminated the sky with hues of rose, peach, and daffodil. The sunlight spilled across the meadow intensifying the color of the yellow dandelions. The sunrays shot out, reflecting off of the clouds.
Ami closed her eyes and let the warmth of the sun wash over her. She felt small in comparison to the grandeur of the sunrise. It made everything else in the world seem unimportant. The beauty of the sunrise demanded her full attention if she was to appreciate the fullness of it. How could anyone ignore the wondrous splendor that God unveiled every morning? It was as if He had painted the sunrise with His own hand.
Tears of joy filled her eyes. A few spilled down her cheeks. She turned to look at Ev, her face absolutely glowing. Ev met her emerald green eyes. They didn’t have to say anything. Their expressions said it all. Ami faced the sky again and slipped her hand into Ev’s. She felt him tense up, then relax when she gave his hand a squeeze.
They watched the sun rise higher into the sky for a few more minutes. Finally, someone sighed, breaking the silence. Ruben, holding Adalynn’s hand, walked over to where Ami and the rest of them were.
“Well?” Ruben asked.
Ami burst out into joyous laughter. “You said it was worth it and it truly was. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life!”
Ruben laughed, a rumbling, hearty laugh. “Just wait until you see the sunset.”
“Can we do that tonight?”
“I plan to be in bed by that time,” Ruben said with a yawn. “I’m exhausted.”
Ami sighed. “Then tomorrow night?”
“I promise,” Ruben replied.
What do y’all think?
Write what should not be forgotten. — Isabel Allende
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@esther-c. I love that!!! I could really see the sunrise in my head, and it was sooo good!!! AMAZING job, girl!!! 💖💖💖💖
I especially loved this paragraph(apparently I can’t spell paragraph!!! 🤣): 😍😍😍
Slowly, the sky grew lighter, and the edge of the sun began to peek over the horizon. The dew glistened in its light. It illuminated the sky with hues of rose, peach, and daffodil. The sunlight spilled across the meadow intensifying the color of the yellow dandelions. The sunrays shot out, reflecting off of the clouds.
I love it! I think the descriptions are good, but I do have a few questions. How well simulated is the Orb’s sunrise? Would it look cartoonishly fake? Like a yellow spot going up and down, or does the Orb make it look far more like the real thing, and they just knew it was fake? If it look looks like a giant bright yellow dot that goes up and down, how much would Ami have a concept of ‘sunrays’? Are real clouds a normality? That would be a whole other bazar experience to see a real cloud moving through the sky, then seeing how that interacts with the sunrise. The only thing I’m trying to get across is to think about what Ami’s world experience was before this, and how she would describe the event of a sunrise using only from those things of past experience. This is obviously what you’re already doing, and is the whole point of this scene, but I’m just saying that perhaps you could take that even further based off of what Ami’s life was like beforehand.
For example, instead of sunrays, maybe she could say something like ‘Grand rods of light pierced the sky, refracting in the turbulent, swirling clouds, emanating gradients of white and pink.’ or something like that.
This is in no ways a criticism, and this isn’t the only way to write descriptions. What you have already works perfectly well, and what I wrote might sound too mellow dramatic to some perhaps. I’m just pointing this particular idea out because it can help you think in your character’s eyes, allowing you to bring out a lot more description of something just by thinking of how they would do it from their experience. Great writing though, and I love the concept of the Orb, is this your Esther retelling?
He is perfect in Justice, yet He is perfect in Mercy, even when we fail Him. For this, He is good.
@thearcaneaxiom @godlyfantasy12 @lightoverdarkness6 @freedomwriter76 @esther-c @felicity
I’ve been thinking about the order of my books, how would this sound for titles?
Afterthoughts of Hate
Afterthoughts of a Releaser
Afterthoughts of The Left Behind
(Haven’t come up with a good title for the fourth yet…)
Honest opinions? Does it work? Yeah nay? Maybe keep in mind comics is the goal, so it might be a vol. 1,2,3 format kinda thing.
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
Love it!!!!
Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. -1 Corinthians
And guess what? His is eternal (:
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