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AHH!! I loved this scene!! Good job!!
I really liked this part (especially the last sentence):
Before he knew what was happening, he was temporarily blinded by a torrent of water splashing down. “Ack!” he fought back some choice words on the tip of his tongue. He held his arms out from his body in disgust. He was dripping with water, soggier than a dishrag.
And this one:
“Just ‘okay’?” Sef raised an eyebrow. “Did it work?” she smiled.
“What kind of question is that? I’m soaked to the skin…of course it worked! Of course I’m annoyed!”
“Good,” Sef nodded seriously. She paused, as if deep in thought. “So let’s go do something!”
“You lost me at the ‘good’,” he blinked. Sef shook her head.
“Boys,” she scoffed. “You can’t have a decent conversation with them!”
“When you’re friends with a girl,” Lilitu muttered, “You can’t even sit on your porch in peace without taking a bath.”
“That’s because you stink.” Sef said. Lilitu’s eyes grew wide. Shoot. Sef must have seen the horrified look on his face because she quickly added, “I’m kidding! Jeez, you’re sensitive!”
😂 And (most of all) this one:
“We’re going to the market,” Lilitu put in.
“Can I come?” Cass said.
“No, you can’t,” Lilitu frowned and began to walk away.
“Aww, you guys are no fun,” Cassian made a face, but to Lilitu’s relief Cass went back inside.
(I like Cassian…🤭🤫)
Flaz: *yawns* Did the sun just come up? In the west?
Does Set have a crush on him?
Doesn’t matter, I still LOVE the watering can! That’s soooooooo something I would do to my crush! He’d look up, smile. He’d say something like
“What are you doing up there?” Then when I explain, he’d say, “You come down here!” Then we’d laugh and Chase each other…
Sigh.
"You need French Toast."
#AnduthForever (hopefully 💕)😊 Your welcome!!
(I just like him. his name is cool and he seems awesome…. hee hee)
Flaz: *yawns* Did the sun just come up? In the west?
He doesn’t know I have a crush on him, and I wonder sometimes, but he smiles and laughs and we play tag with his many little siblings and I’m the only one who can tag him when he’s going full tilt (after I almost pass out and turn my ankle on a rock.)
But whatever it is, I cannot for the life of me look into his eyes and keep my sanity(or what’s left of it!)
Another rabbit trail, I know but it’s like I cannot keep him from my mind!
"You need French Toast."
#AnduthForever (hopefully 💕)That’s exactly how Lilitu feels about Sef XD
He literally says that in another chapter:
“Wow, you’ve had quite the day,” Sef nodded, her eyes beginning to work their charm on Lilitu. Stop looking at me! He wanted to scream at her. Don’t you see that every time you look at me, I lose all my sanity? But he regained his composure and kept walking.
“That’s the understatement of the hour,” he kicked another rock.
“Do you need me to go away so you can let out a string of cuss words?” Sef cocked her head to the side.
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@savannah_grace2009 Haha, I like that😂💖
@freedomwriter76
Thanks!
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333I really liked that!
Lilitu and Sef are amazing together XD
I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick and I was like, "That log had a child
Thank you so much! They really are <3
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333@savannah_grace2009 nice!!
The name “Cassian” reminded me of a TV show I watched just about this time last year…that was the main character’s name lol. He had dark brown hair too….If only pictures were working I’d show you.
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
This is him:
I’m assuming yours looks nothing like this. At least I hope he doesn’t, otherwise you’ll have copyright problems lol
Where'd I get ya this time? The liver? The kidney? I'm runnin' outta places to put holes in ya.
lol, no Cassian looks a little different XD
Lukas&Livia
#Lalbert
Sef&Chase
#HOTTOLINE
LEFSE FOREVER!!!!!! <333@everyone @anyone and @everybody
So, I’ve got a problem…
I’ve been writing for little over a year on my first book I didn’t quite halfway. The first draft is done, though it really shouldn’t be called a first draft, more like ‘a girl playing around with a story with no idea what plot is.’
I’m currently on my like tenth attempt at the revision draft, and have gotten to chapter ten or so, but I think I want to revise it…again.
The reasons: 1-my MC’s struggle needs to be changed and made more real, 2-it’s not going well.
I won’t focus on the struggle of my MC, Nahim, since I think I can portray that different anyways with my current revision draft.
It’s just not going well. The story of Nahim has strong points that at night I run through, ready to write when the time comes, but the other parts…
Chapter one came out strong, with the attention of readers grabbed (besides the long paragraphs, now fixed) and questions asked but not answered.
First part of chapter two came out beautiful, doing justice for the beauty of a Banorian festival, the second part I’m going to change since that’s Nahim’s story.
Chapter three got a little wobbly, with Nahim hearing the news there is a bounty out for his capture, and then getting captured.
Chapter four went okay, with Nahim meeting his second most hated humanoid in the universe, King Vorgan. And discovering the name of the man he hates the most, Master Canin Grostoff. Then it ends with Nahim almost getting killed by a monster.
Chapter five goes fine, with Mandin (the only best friend Nahim has) getting a Master of War, named Paul Bruce Ward, to go after Nahim.
Chapter six is wonderful, with Nahim, rescued from a possible death by Master Paul, safe. Then, Master Paul convinces him to stay with him, and that’s when things get out of control.
Master Paul is going after an alien named Dan Wan Binkle (if you ask how that name came about, it was two silly siblings on a swing set) who murdered a Realn by, I think, second degree murder. Oh, Realn are the culture Mandin, Master Paul, and Nahim belong to. They hunt him down through a chapter or two, get sidetracked and transport a princess to safety (becomes important later in the book). After that, they are almost about to get Dan Wan, but I am getting bored writing it and don’t know what to write, do you think this sounds boring?
I can post pieces of my book later, but this post is already long enough…
What are your thoughts?
"You need French Toast."
#AnduthForever (hopefully 💕)
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