Home Page › Forums › Fiction Writing › General Writing Discussions › A Place to share/write whatever we’re working on: Worldbuilding, plot, etc
- This topic has 2,156 replies, 40 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 3 weeks ago by The Ducktator.
-
AuthorPosts
-
February 24, 2023 at 11:50 am #134459Anonymous
- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
February 28, 2023 at 8:23 pm #135000Okay, here’s the next part! And it kinda ends abruptly, because that’s all I’ve written so far. Enjoy! And, well…you’ll be in suspense for that last part, Lol 😀 XD
And if you haven’t seen the first part yet, it’s back on page 6 of this forum 😉
@freedomwriter76 @mineralizedwritings @godlyfantasy12 @princesachronicle22 @thearcaneaxiom @felicity @euodia-vision @esther-c @anyone-else-i-may-have-missed-sorry-XD
Dylan
I smiled at the memory, then brought my attention to the chair. Sitting in the chair was a middle aged man with dark hair and piercing blue eyes. Eyes that seemed to stare right into your soul. I shuddered a bit.
His hands were folded, resting on his desk. He looked up as I entered, his eyes brightening.
“Dylan, my son, come in.”
I greeted him with a stiff nod. “Sir.”
He grinned. “Sir indeed! Come here, son. Let me see you.”
I smiled and walked around to where he was sitting. He stood up and clapped his hands on my shoulders, looking into my eyes.
“You’re a fine boy, Dylan,” He said softly. “A mighty fine boy.” His expression sagged a little, and his eyes saddened. I almost asked him what was wrong, but then he turned away and sat back down.
I blinked, my brow furrowing. What’s wrong with him?
Once more seated in his chair, He had a peculiar expression as he looked me over. I raised a brow.
“Uh…you…you wanted to see me?” I asked, trying to change the subject. I was getting an uneasy feeling, but I didn’t know why.
Vance looked a bit disoriented, snapped out of his thoughts. “Huh…what? Oh! Ah, yes, of course.” He smiled and gestured to the chair in front of his desk, facing him. “Have a seat, son.”
I silently obeyed, sitting down in the chair, my back perfectly straight, awaiting whatever my father would say.
“I called you here today…to discuss with you concerning the boy…Asher,” He started.
Asher?
My brow furrowed, and I leaned forward in my seat, anxiously anticipating what he would say next.
“As I suspected, his sister has been trying to track him down. Only yesterday I received word that she was spotted within a few hundred miles of here.Thus, she will be close enough for us to make the exchange soon. If she has indeed brought what I have need of.”
I nodded. That made sense. What he said next did not.
“Or,” He continued, “Rather that is what I thought yesterday. Today…I realized something.”His piercing blue eyes met mine. “Do you know what it was that I realized, Dylan?”
I slowly shook my head, confused…but I felt a dread in the pit of my stomach, and I knew, I just knew, that this visit to his office would be a day I would remember…for the rest of my life.
“I realized…that the boy could be of use to us. In more ways than one.”
My heartbeat quickened, and I bit my lip anxiously.
What did he mean? Why did he call me in?
But in my heart, I had a terrible, terrible feeling that I already knew why. I pushed the thought away.
No, surely not.
My thoughts were interrupted as Vance cleared his throat commandingly. My attention was riveted on this man, my father, who I had idolized my whole life. Or, rather, who I had idolized until a few months ago…the day I had met Asher.
I found myself thinking of him more and more. His kindness…his innocence…and his vulnerability. And I was the reason he was vulnerable…I was the reason he was here, not at home with his sister. I felt a quick stab of guilt. But it was soon buried in the barrage of feelings that bombarded me. Shame…guilt…loneliness…and most of all, dread. Dread of what Vance had in mind for my new young friend. One of the only friends I had ever had.
I listened intently to what my father would say next, heart racing.
“You see, Dylan, every one of my most skilled and trusted–,” He paused. I could tell that he had ‘kidnappers…or maybe ‘assassins’, on the tip of his tongue, but instead he said, “top agents”.
Yeah right. Stiztler and Vlad are just ‘agents.’ I thought sarcastically. Those two just look deadly.
“Each and every one of my most skilled and trusted…agents…have had to accomplish some great, courageous acts of virtue before becoming said agent. You are now at the age when you are to become one. As you know, each member has a ‘test’ to prove themselves. As I was wondering what your test would be–,” He was interrupted at a sharp knock at the door. He responded with the same, “Come in.” I was relieved of the interruption, but also anxious to hear what my father had to say. A man entered, shrouded in a black mask.
He approached my Father, and whispered hurriedly into his ear. I could only catch broken snippets. “…prisoner…how…much…time?”
But I could hear Vance’s response clearly.
“Bring him in.”
My heart filled with dread, my eyes widening. ‘Prisoner’…’Bring him in…’ that could only be one person.
No, no, no, no…oh no.
As I struggled to suppress my panic, Vance started to speak again, as if nothing had happened, either not realizing my current state, or possibly just choosing not to care.
“As I was saying, I have been watching you closely over the past few months, and during that space of time…I noticed that you have taken a liking to our young prisoner while caring for him. I came to the conclusion that…” He paused.
I tensed, heart racing. But still, I pushed away what was quickly becoming more and more possible with every word that Vance spoke, insisting, No…no…he can’t be meaning that. I know he isn’t. There’s just no way.
He noticed my panic now, and, standing up, he was by my side in a moment. He laid a heavy hand on my shoulder. I glanced at his hand, too dazed and dizzy to do or say anything. Then I gazed up at him. He had an understanding look in his eyes.
“I’m not disappointed in you, my son. Doing something…of this sort…is always frightening at first. It was for me as well.” Suddenly, his expression hardened. “But…as you will come to find out, it is necessary. For the greater good, it must happen.”
I nearly retched. This filth, this monster, was my father! Maybe I was too. How could I not be with such an example?
I glanced up at him again. His kind, almost fatherly expression nearly relaxed me. I squeezed my eyes shut.
No…no! I can’t give in. I’ve got to be strong…for Asher.
Slowly, I opened my eyes. In my distress, I hadn’t felt Vance’s hand release me. He was now pacing the perimeter of the room. He started to speak.
“I have come to the decision that we will…dispose of the boy.” He turned and faced me. “But you…you will be the one to get rid of him.”
My heart stopped. Time stood still, and I sat, staring back at Vance with a horrified expression.
No, no, no, no! This can’t be happening! It can’t!
“I look forward to watching you handle this,” he said, smiling for the first time. But it was not a kind, loving smile. Oh no. It was sinister and sadistic, and as I stared at the man I had come to know as ‘Father’, I realized how deceived I had been.
I now saw his true nature. Cruel…malicious…and evil.
Another knock sounded at the door, and my father nodded to a doorman…who had seemingly materialized out of thin air. The man smiled, apparently as eager as Vance to watch what was about to come into play, then turned the knob and opened the door. Another man entered, followed by two more, black masks shrouding their face.
The last man in the group caught my eye. He was larger than the others– much larger. His muscles rippled under his shirt, and his head was the size of a small watermelon. But what really made him stand out is what he brought with him…or rather, who.
“Oh Asher,” I whispered softly.
#HugRikerSquad
February 28, 2023 at 8:28 pm #135001@lightoverdarkness6 AHHHHHHH!!!! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?! I NEED TO KNOW!!!!!! I NEED TO KNOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebFebruary 28, 2023 at 9:11 pm #135003Ahh I know!! It made me anxious writing it 😅🙁.
….🤐🤐🤐
All I can say is that Asher is okay…
Or, he survives, at least…
- This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by Light.
#HugRikerSquad
February 28, 2023 at 9:17 pm #135005@lightoverdarkness6 PLEASE WRITE THE NEXT PRT PLZ BECAUSE I NEED TO READ IT LIKE ASAP I AM NOT KIDDING
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebFebruary 28, 2023 at 9:30 pm #135006XD Aw I’m so glad that your excited and ready for the next part!!
Okay I will!!! I’ll try hard to write a TON tomorrow for you!! 🤞😉❤️😂
#HugRikerSquad
February 28, 2023 at 9:31 pm #135007@lightoverdarkness6 sighs in relief….ok ok XD
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebFebruary 28, 2023 at 9:39 pm #135008Haha, yeah! I’m so glad that you’re interested though!! 😀 Thank you! It makes me feel so good 🙂
#HugRikerSquad
February 28, 2023 at 9:53 pm #135009I really wanna read more of Asher and Dylan and Vance. If you ever want to share/have more scenes to share plz do!
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebFebruary 28, 2023 at 11:07 pm #135010woah that was good! Super curious to know how that will play out!
"And so I left this world just as I had entered it. Confused."
March 1, 2023 at 7:33 am #135011Aww okay! I sure will! 🙂
Thank you so much! Haha, yeah. It’s one of my favorites scenes so far…and don’t worry, Asher is okay.
#HugRikerSquad
March 1, 2023 at 8:34 am #135012Anonymous- Rank: Chosen One
- Total Posts: 8156
@lightoverdarkness6. Okay, okay, okay….so, I wasn’t planning on getting on KP until later…but I saw your scene and I HAD to read it. I thought I’d share my thoughts later, but girl…I can’t wait…
I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THAT!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍 I feel for Dylan sooooo much, and I can’t WAIT to see the next parts!!! And Asher!!! 😭😭😭
(also, I am happy to say that there were tears in my eyes when I got to some of the final moments in that scene. ❤️🥲)
March 1, 2023 at 9:32 am #135024@freedomwriter76
Aww GIRL!!! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!! That makes me feel so good!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️🥲🥲 AHH I know!! The poor babies 😭😭😭😭
I’m SOOO glad that you enjoyed it and can’t wait for the next parts! You are soo sweet!!! ❤️❤️
(Awww girl! ❤️🥲 I’m so glad that it was moving! As a writer, I’m so happy…but as your friend…I’m sorry for making you have tears! ❤️🥲❤️😅🙁!)
I’ll try to post the next part sometime today, if not, then tomorrow for sure. 😉
@freedom @godlyfantasy12 @mineralizedwritings
Again, thank you all sooo much for the excitement and encouragement!! It means so much to me. Love y’all! 🙂❤️
#HugRikerSquad
March 1, 2023 at 12:04 pm #135035So since this is where we can share all of our stuff, I don’t really have anything to share but I do need some world building advice! (Ok wait I actually do have some things to share but it’ll be later XD)
Anyway! I’m currently worldbuilding Ara’s homeland, A’Grend and I’m trying to come up with ways of Greeting because I really would like there to maybe be phrases of greeting or something for the people? Nothing maybe super big or anything something simple, because they’re pretty simple folk (farmers, fishermen, cobblers, etc)
I like taking inspiration for them from the Jewish people because their culture revolves so much around their religion to the Light One so I really like the idea of it being a phrase similar to how the Jewish people greet each other Shalom (Peace) or “Peace Peace”
But at the same time want it to be just a bit different? So yea, any ideas?
I’m always trying to think of there are any taboo words or slang words that aren’t really appreciated.
Not language that we know but words that maybe are offensive to just the A’Grendians and their culture ya know? Idk lol.
any ideas?
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSebMarch 1, 2023 at 12:05 pm #135036Forgot to tag people XD
@freedomwriter76 (Ik u don’t “technically” worldbuild but I still appreciate ur input!) @lightoverdarkness6 @elishavet-pidyon (btw tell Koshka I said hi!) @esther-c @loopylin @mineralizedwritings
#IfMarcelDiesIRiot
#ProtectMarcel
#ProtectSeb -
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.