WalkByFaith

I think I’m going to keep it the same for now, and then change it if I feel like it XD

@whalekeeper

you need people to believe in you, even if you can’t sometimes. I have low self-esteem sometimes and I need my mom to put me back on track. If we tell ourselves we are worth nothing, that’s going to have mental consequences later down the road.

Yes yes yes! That’s exactly what I was going for!

As someone who completely relates to Sef…[Read more]

@anyone

Chapter 11

Wolves

“Sef?”

Sef looked up from sweeping the floor, and saw Neveah standing in the doorway.

“What is it?”

“We’re forgetting something,” Neveah smiled wryly.

“Forgetting something?” Sef repeated, confused.

“Yes. We’re forgetting to think of names for the child.”

A knot of anger grew in Sef’s stomach.

“We’re going to…[Read more]

@jonas

This phrasing sounds a bit awkward.

I’m cringing…

WHYYY

apparently I didn’t edit it as well as I thought…

Ooops yeah I’ll fix that.

That’s a lot of “that”s.

NOOOO I’M CRINGING AGAIN

what was I thinking?!? I just committed a crime…to use the same word three times in a sentence…how could I?!?!

By this point, you’ve managed to conv…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper

Thanks that makes me feel a little better!

And I know it’s weird that I’m only 14 and are writing about this kind of stuff…

And what’s even more strange is that I was never ever exposed to violence or horror movies or bad books as a young child. So at eight years old when I started writing about slavery and…[Read more]

Y’all…I have to hurry up and post the next chapters so you don’t think I’m just a psychopath teenager…

heh..heh…

Chapter 9

Strange Magic

Lilitu stood at the edge of Farnbron Brook, trying—and failing— not to gag.

The smell was especially bad tonight.

It was always worse during the warmer months, and now it was the middle of sum…[Read more]

@keilah-h

If you don’t mind me asking, are you over 16??

Ummmmmm

…

…

…

I’m 14 and don’t turn 15 until September

…

…

I hope I’m correct in assuming that the book will be 16+ as well because oof……that may be the darkest thing I’ve ever seen on this site……

I don’t think I’m going to have it be 16+, more like 14+ since that’s how ol…[Read more]

Anyone who wants to follow me on pinterest click this link (I have a private account so the only people that follow me or can message me have to click the link)

https://pin.it/2Jb0BimYs

@ellette-giselle

So, on the front cover, I agree that the title feels a little cramped. Maybe enlarge it a little and move your name to the bottom?

Also, I would remove the “By:” and just put your name. In my opinion, it feels more professional, but it’s up to you if you like that version more.

The cover illustration is beautiful!

On the back,…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

It sounds really cool! Are you looking for format critiques, or is it too late for that?

@ellette-giselle

Hey, I’m up for anything…… as long as it’s not an abortion. If she aborts the baby in any way there will be problems because there is NO excuse EVER for that.

So, besides that, go ahead and do anything you like! ;D

Oh I didn’t even THINK of that…so don’t worry!!!!!!

I promise there will be no abortions…

I agree there i…[Read more]

@jonas @ellette-giselle

Chapter 8

Monster

What am I doing?

Frustration built up in Lilitu’s chest until he wanted to scream.

But he couldn’t scream….or else Adar would find him.

Cass isn’t going to come bail you out this time, he pressed his lips together in a thin line. You have to figure it out yourself.

He tried to find a comfort…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

Ummmmmm

There’s more sad where that came from

heh…heh…

@jonas

Okay, I’ll have Cassian say something XD it will probably trigger Lilitu’s temper though lol

Yeah…it is…

Don’t worry you guys, I’m not just being dark to be dark, there is a purpose behind it!!!! Just wait haha

@theducktator
I skim it in the beginning and then normally don’t go back to it…  Maybe once or twice, but not every time a place is mentioned. 😅

@theducktator

I look at maps whenever a place is mentioned XD

And because maps are just cool!!! lol

@ellette-giselle @anyone-else

Next chapter…be warned…this one is a little *coughs* sad…and dark and it deals with a really sad reality in our world. So continue reading at your own risk.

Chapter 8

Sticks and Stones

Sef cowered before the large man, blinking back tears.

She wanted to scream with frustration. She had been late again!

She…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

Yeah, I was wondering if that was the case! Glad I was able to help!!! 😊

Yes! I love how easy it is to share chapters!

Yeah it took me FOREVER to figure out how to use it, but after over a year of using it I have never ever wanted to go back!

This is the language we came up with…kind of:

All the consonants you gave:

t l n m r k s p sh b f v z d j g w th

Vowels:

let’s just say it’s English vowels for now.

These are the “swears” we came up with:
Scist (Scisto)

Dissar (Dissaros)

And idk what else…XD

@thearcaneaxiom

hahaha

okay

let me go back real quick then…

@thearcaneaxiom

Okay, Tlavian it is! XD why are you so good at this!?!?!