TheShadow

@keilah-h @theducktator @theshadow @rae

Sooo sorry it’s taken me so long 😅😅😅

But I will try to RP today, I can’t this morning since I have a practice, but I’ll be free later this afternoon

@theshadow

Okay, but this makes me think Ignatius is trying to arrest Marcus…

Now someone is starting to get tangled in the is-he-is-he-not? phase. Love it!!

the colosseum scene was the best part

NICE! NAILED IT!! I’m so happy that you liked it. I’m also really glad that it was your favorite. It was my favorite too.

@theshadow

Oooo, this is gonna be fun!! I’ll have to get to him this afternoon! I’ll probably have him for you by tomorrow at the latest. (unless something crazy happens over here. lol)

Thank you for sending him! I love drawing for people!

@rae

Awesome!!! I wrote for 10 hours, but had to get off to run some errands with my dad. Hmm, challenges. I think on that.

@theshadow

Oh, btw, here is a trick that helps with writers block. Write 500 words a day. Just do it. (Sunday can be an exception) but write 500 words a day. you may come back and delete that scene later on, but it…[Read more]

@theshadow lol yeah I don’t know who that is

but I do the same thing. Whenever my dad tells me about the latest sci-fi book he’s been reading, I decide I want to write a science-fiction AU of whatever my current work is.

Right now, that happens to be that TF2 fanfic I told you about, and all nine classes (ten if you count my fanmade one,…[Read more]

@theshadow that is a dark concept….

but honestly, I just agree with everyone else that as long as you’re not presenting a dark concept as positive or good, you can write it, as long as it doesn’t take too much of a toll on your mental health.

@theshadow

If you want to show a sacrifice, I don’t think that’s inherently melodramatic 😊 It only becomes melodrama if you become blinded to story mechanics and the reader’s perspective in everything. Drama is fine as long as you can see everything from a bird’s eye view, and you seem to be a pretty practical person so far XD

@theshadow

Well…look at my novel!

It has several dark elements, like child abuse, child neglect/abandonment, murder, evil guys running the world, hatred, prison camps, etc.

But the reason these elements are in my story is because my story is an allegory about Light and Darkness, good and evil!

I think your story is fine (unless you’re…[Read more]

Update
I’M DONE!!!!!!
It’s not exact, but I am proud to announce I finished around 12 hours of writing! I wrote somewhere around 9000 words, but after going through and editing sections, I was left with only about 8700 words of progress. Not as far as I hoped, but that’s still about nine days of work for me in one day!

I’m thinking about making…[Read more]

@theshadow

It’s all about why the darkness is there. Top questions when reading something dark: Is this melodramatic? If so, what does that say about the writer’s reasons for including it? What practical reason does the writer have for including it, if at all?

Tbh I see no problem with big bombs in a story, I have one in my project. It’s a magic…[Read more]

@theshadow

Ellette nailed it. I pretty much would have said the same thing (if I could articulate it that well, which I could not)

@theshadow

Ok, my essential thoughts: this is a dark world. I mean man, it’s dark, depraved, sick, evil, black, and desperate. it is ONLY because of God that there is any hope at all. I tend to write about a lot of dark stuff, i.e. persecution of the Christians in the roman times, child brainwashing in dystopian era, outlawing of Christianity,…[Read more]

@theshadow

Note: There is no description in this one of the courtyard because the description would be in the chapter before.

 
Chapter 9
Julius pulled his cloak closer. It was nearing the end of summer, and the night air had a decided chill. It would be curfew soon, and Julius would have to hurry. He slipped through the gate and began his…[Read more]

@theshadow

The last scene was sooo cute, I liked it a lot! Also Julius’ internal dialogue and conflict was good.

I’m so glad. I pride myself with pulling off good wedding scenes. Good! I’m glad Julius’ internal struggle was good!

Ignatius, if you lay a finger on Marcus, it’s not ending well for you!

are you threatening my character? Isn’t Ign…[Read more]

@theshadow

so, besides that, how was the chapter?

@trailblazer

Also, here’s the part you were jumping ahead on Trailblazer. Great minds think alike in the writing world I guess. lol.

@theshadow Note: Flavia is under developed as we discussed, and I plan on adding more about her in chapter 7

 
Chapter 8
Julius leaned his shoulder against the side of the window. He stared out into the garden below, thinking of all the days he and Marcus had spent there. They had grown up together, and had been friends from the day they met. The…[Read more]

@theshadow

Ack, I thought you would say that. I’ve been thinking also of a way to develop a bit more with her. I’m kinda distracted with the other stuff going on and thought I would drop it for now and come back. after all, this is my very rough draft. But yes, she is under developed.

@trailblazer

And lastly, this is just an idea that popped…

[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

I agree with @theshadow, I would love to see more of how Marcus and Flavia’s relationship develops rather than just being told that it did. I also feel like I don’t know Flavia very well- I know you describe her when Marcus is thinking about her and talking to Caius, but I want to see it in her rather than just be told it about…[Read more]

@rae

I’ll be praying!!! Man, you are in serious trouble…. try some chocolate.

@theshadow

Yes, please send them on the WIP!!! I can’t wait!! I’m so glad you liked it!

@theshadow

no edits or critiques for that one?