TheShadow

@theducktator

Yessss!!!

@savannah_grace2009

Hi!! Sorry I haven’t responded for a while. I’m all caught up with your book, and so far, I think it’s really good! Lilitu and Sef’s struggle feels pretty realistic, although sometimes I get a little annoyed at the Pythonos sincwe they’re so ruthless. That’s good though, because it gets across that they’re evil and evil can…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Okay, I’ll try my best!

Huntress – not 100% sure with this one, but my best guess is trying to kill a target that someone else failed to

Scout – being his own cocky self while fighting someone (and of course trying to show off XD)

Engineer – his team may have just come from a defeat, and he would probably be disappointed if his guns…[Read more]

@kyronthearcanin @rae @theducktator @keilah-h

Trevor 

The group continued the march through the forest. After a while, Sniper said, “Careful, mates. There’s wolves around ‘ere. Probably attracted by the death of that creature. From what I know of ’em, they’re not gonna try and kill us if we don’t give ’em a reason to, but ya never know what migh…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

CAPTAIN HADDOCK !!!! Yay!!! I LOVE TINTIN!!!

YES, another Tintin fan!!!! I LOVE TINTIN TOO!!!!

@keilah-h

Yeah I can kind of guess some of the context XD

@keilah-h@theducktator @rae @princesachronicle22@kyronthearcanin

Poor Natalie and Bob, it seems like they’re having a rough time XD

Eldred 

Wolf-like people? Maybe they are like the ones in the fairytales mother and father used to tell. Eldred thought.

The duck, Queen Natalie, and Stephen had been talking, and as they did Natalie grew more an…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

“Lyen names” is good, especially if it works for your world. Random thought, this topic reminded me of a character from Tintin, he usually says “blistering barnacles!”

@kyronthearcanin

Same XD

@ellette-giselle

Ack, that’s hard. I like both a lot. *Dramatic sign*… probably Turin, I like his rash behavior a little more. Aaron’s great too though.

@keilah-h

Love the quotes XD

@ellette-giselle

Lol those are great

@ellette-giselle

He is lol.

This section was good, Aaron has a lot of guts to go do that. Man, 14 hours?! And Turin’s such a good friend. I don’t think I have any critiques for this one.

@linus-smallprint

Hmm, yeah this specific topic can be hard. “Great snakes” is one exclamation I don’t think sounds like a swear word. Shakespearean words may also be a good substitute, although they might sound a little silly. “Balderdash” and “zounds” could be used too.

@ellette-giselle

Wow, that went from 0 to 100 real quick lol. Those scenes were great, Turin’s character has definitely grown on me. I have to agree with you, it’s really annoying when Christians are portrayed as perfect with no flaws whatsoever. I know for a fact I’m not perfect XD

@keilah-h

Thanks for the description, she sounds cool!

@keilah-h

I would join as well.

@keilah-h

That would be fun XD

@kyronthearcanin

Your welcome! My charrie Eldred should like your characters (he has a pet wolf).

@ellette-giselle

The newest section was really good!! I don’t have any critiques for it, I like Aaron’s character a lot so far, and the point about God making the seed grow. I also liked how Aaron was afraid but trusted God, it felt realistic. Nice job!

@ellette-giselle

Ok, though I agree with Sara that the paragraphs are a little long.