Ben Powell

@catwing ahhh unfortunately not, August your 7 months older

@daeus hmmmmmm…… I personally would stick to appealing by genre instead of life struggles…. because in the end the character normally is better (now I haven’t read it all yet sooooo….) but in real life when we finish the book were still the same and it can be kinda depressing. I don’t know if anyone else can relate to that…
I still don’t…[Read more]

@seekjustice do you know who the singer was??? Have fun on your trip *wipes tear* a writing buddy is leaving us guys, she’s leaving us!!!!

@raevynstar Oh…yeah….that would make a Labrador a problem. 😛

@daeus *dances* Yay! Destruction to telling!

@daeus
Well, big thoughts is mainly that you should take out the last paragraph, because although you’re trying to appeal with struggles like that, people might not want to think of themselves as weak or cowardly, if you know what I mean. Maybe they know that subconsciously, but who wants to admit that they are a coward? I mean, a Christian might…[Read more]

@shannon http://regeneratelifefarm.blogspot.com/2017/08/a-child-victorious.html

@jess-penrose XD Yeah, that’s my thoughts. 😀 You might have noticed I have very strong opinions on these things. 😛

@Dragon-Snapper *scowls* We are not taking over the kingdom.

@xonos-darkgrate as someone who has read and reread this story, I can assure you it’s anything but simple. In many ways it’s a lot like most classical literature— the premise it’s built on is very basic, almost simple, and yet when you read the story it’s nothing you ever would have guessed.

@rolena-hatfield I love your blog! Your Attic looks so nice!

@shannon I think you have… it’s called : A Child Victorious

Here’s a collage for the first short story I did.
@catwing @dragon-snapper @emily @shannon

@daeus Okay *looks over the top of my glasses* 😉

First I would re-word the first sentence, it doesn’t seem to flow and seems forced. It just doesn’t sound right. Kate’s example is much easier to read.
I also agree with Kate about the part about Jerold (which how dare you make a lesser character so intriguing. Really I wanna know more about him.…[Read more]

@kate-flournoy He forgot to tag me too. Can we take over the kingdom now? How bout now? Now?
@daeus Well…do you want my big thoughts or little thoughts?

@Daeus *sniffs* You forgot to tag me.
But looks like I’m first to the party anyway, so here goes. XD

First off, I really like it. The only suggestions I have are a few tweaks to the wording.

The first line, I think, would be better as simply ‘Trevor is in a mess. After traveling back in time, he and his sister are now…’ etc. It leaves out…[Read more]

@daeus I’ll try here I need to read over it with a piece of paper to make notes with so give me a few, but one thing I did notice….. 😛 😉

It is a book for the week

😀

@that_writer_girl_99 will continue. 😉

@aratrea heheeee

@aratrea XD Perfect.