Smiley

@jonas

I never ever threw my writing away, no matter how bad it was….i have every single horrible story I ever wrote in a huge binder. I remember thinking the stories were good…and I recently read threw it again and wanted to burn it.

Another embarrasing scene for you:

. Jordan grabbed her arm again and yanked her over to him. He handed her…

[Read more]

@rae

oh my gosh….lol I was reading it and I was like, oh it’s really good! and then I read this sentence:

I can’t tell you what Nahim’s face looked like because he never showed it to anyone.

And then I laughed.

sorry if that sounds mean…..

And now for the worst thing I have ever written:

“It worked!” Jorryn cries.…

[Read more]

@trailblazer

idk….two teeth on the bottom in the back. (not wisdom teeth)

I have teeth that are baby teeth, but there aren’t any adult teeth to replace them, so I was just gonna have baby teeth forever. But the dentist thought they were just gonna break apart someday so he pulled them….

@trailblazer

Oh no!! That sounds horrible!!!

4 hours later and I can actually feel my face and talk and eat food!!! YAY!

@jonas

okay! 🙂

@freedomwriter76

Oh I’m so excited for this!! I joined kp after you started the fanfic, so I didn’t get to follow along from the beginning.

@kyronthearcanin

Okay, I’ll think about it! No problem, thank you!

@hybridlore

Yeah, that totally makes sense! And you’re welcome, I really enjoyed reading it!!

For buildup, I’m not quite sure. Maybe Mason has a big decision to make, and something about the king helps him make that decision? Or maybe to keep it more line with what you have so far, something big rests on the identity of the king?? I’d have to…[Read more]

@kyronthearcanin

So, yep! Mostly just because of the curfew. I guess I was trying to show how the villagers were impacted by it, if that makes sense.
That’s true, I might use that word a lot XD. I’ll have to reread it and see where I can change words around to fix that. Thanks for pointing that out!
Yeah, I get that. I’m not really sure how the…[Read more]

@hybridlore

Okay, I’m finally here!! XD

So, I was digging pretty hard to find something to critique, so I’ll do my best…

“A hint of fear is smothered in the master’s gruff tone.” – why the fear?? Just because of the curfew?

I agree that it was pretty obvious the man was going to be the king.

In first person it’s really easy to use “is” a lo…[Read more]

@esther-c

Is it still the plan to have Callie dance with Lukas and Liv dance with Fynn?

@highscribeofaetherium

Oh, okay. Have fun!!

@rae @esther-c

So who wants to do the prompt?

@hybridlore

Thanks!!

@everyone

I CAN’T FEEL MY FACCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just got two teeth pulled…..AHHHHHHH!

@esther-c

Ohh, I see what you mean. I meant the main character isn’t looking at the sky anymore, but yeah, I’ll have to change that. Thank you!

OH! And I have Hallie and Easton who I have not RPed for yet but will do so now…

…

Easton

“So, are you glad you came? You seem very confident with that waltz now.”

“Yep!” Hallie flashed him her signature smile. “I’m glad you came along.”

Easton bobbed his head in a small laugh. “Anytime. But…” he peered over the heads of students. “Looks lik…[Read more]

Oki. I don’t know how y’all want to switch it up, but I have Fynn, Callista, Lukas, Ami, and Ev available for any other charries to dance with rn. XD So take your pick, lol.

@savannah_grace2009

Ooh, I love it. 😁 I love dogs too. 😝

@rae

Nahimmmm!!! 😭

@hybridlore

I like it!! I can’t really think of any thing else to add besides what the others have said. But there was one paragraph that I was a little confused at:

My gaze snaps back to the ground. The source of the voice stands beside me—a man, maybe in his thirties. From his clothes and his unshaved face, he appears to be a worker of some kin…

[Read more]