Sara

@savannah_grace2009

oh ok fine. Here we go.

SPOILERS FOR ANY SENSIBLE PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR THEM TO SKIP!!! LOLLOLOL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

• Introduction of Marcus and Julius.
• inciting moment. (Lucius dies)
• Marcus starts to seek the truth
• Marcus finds the Catacombs (note. start showing differences in the beliefs. i.e.…

[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Alright, sorry this is late, but the prologue was really good! I found it intriguing, and after I finished it, I wanted to read more. The only thing was that the room that the Pythanos is sitting in could be described a bit more (like specifically what it looks like). The description of the atmosphere was great though.

@savannah_grace2009

Just read the first part and Stars! It’s great!

I’m kinda jealous.

It was interesting, because all my charries were for whatever reason reading it too. And their opinions were all very interesting and could get them in huge trouble in that world.

@savannah_grace2009

 

Ok, this is starting to come together! I’m really liking this!!!

@savannah_grace2009

Well, I have my main points written out. But not the WHOLE thing. Like I know where I’m going with all this, and I know the main plot twists, climax, ending, all that. I didn’t just write the whole plot though. It’s more in like bullet points, if that makes sense.

 

I’m about to be a senior. Nope, not graduated yet. Almost!!!

@savannah_grace2009

Chase

She’s beautiful. Chase watched Sef with eyes of green and blue. “Y-your l-like my m-mom.” Chase caught her gaze, exploring the depths of her green eyes with large, childish eyes. Catching himself, he quickly turned away, a little color coming to his pale face.

@savannah_grace2009

Ah, that makes more sense about the trees. It’s an interesting idea. I’m excited to see how it develops.

 

The sickness also makes sense too!

I would like to know more about the Paynes as well. Like, why are they outcast, what is the race mixing thing, etc. etc. If that gets explained later then you can just leave it and…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

No, i don’t have anything written out. I mean, I  know what’s going to happen, but I really don’t want to say. However, if you need me to tell you for editing purposes then I will.

ALSO GIRL HOW DO YOU WRITE 20 CHAPTERS IN A DAY

Well, there has never been a day when I can’t write. If I don’t have time to write it out on the…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

lol, no problem! I should have plenty of time Monday morning.

However…I have a bad habit of info dumping backstory in the first chapter

I used to have that problem as well (seems to be a common plague, especially for fantasy writers), but now I kind of have the opposite problem: my style has shifted to be a very strict 3…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

 

Oooooo So, so good!! I LOVE the name Cassian!! Oh man, this is so good! I can already envision this going so, so good. Oh man, I love it!

Ok, the killing the tree thing was a little strange. Explanation please!!! But I guess we’ll get to that later.

Also, I would like to know a little more about this sickness. why is it…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

No!!! nononono!! No spoilers!!! Spoilers are not allowed. N.O. They are illegal!!!!

 

Yay!! Can’t wait for the next chapter.

 

However…I have a bad habit of info dumping backstory in the first chapter

Why does that sound so familiar…….. *looks over the last 20 first chapters I’ve written in the past year* Oh… that’s w…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

What is the plot of my story!!? Oh girl you can’t make me do that. I HATE spoilers. I can’t stand that. *sob* *sob*

I mean….. I guess I could try a little…… OK…. let’s see.

I guess, well…. Ah, I’m no good at this! OK, I guess it started when I overheard a conversation from a group of young men saying Christianity…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

 

Oooo, this is getting good. I’m not sure if there’s a lot of critique I can give, because again, it’s just getting itself off the ground, and it seems really smooth. (way smoother then my first chapter! I think you’re in your element writing fantasy!)

Of course, I would love to know more about these characters, what time…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Do you have any more besides the prologue written? I would love to read more and give some feedback?

@savannah_grace2009

Oh no worries!!! Whenever you get the chance!

@savannah_grace2009

Thanks for the encouragement. I still feel like running back to the safety of fiction, but I am determined to stick this one out.

 

Can’t wait to hear your thoughts on Chapter 4.

I almost have chapter five done too. I’m starting to slide into my writing roll. lol.

@savannah_grace2009

OH NO WHAT ELSE IS WRONG WITH IT 😬

now I’m scared xD

jk jk I’m sure whatever you have to say will be very helpful, as always! 🤣🤣

I have mostly positive things to say actually lol! The way I phrased that did sound a bit scary, sorry! 😅

@savannah_grace2009

I think it has a really good start! I just can’t wait to see where it’s going.

Yeah, maybe take Puddleglum *clears throat* I mean, that other writing coach, with a grain of salt. Scratch that, maybe a pillar of salt. lol. However, I will say that there is something to be learned from everyone. So, try to see the gold in the…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

For some reason your comment didn’t load until just now! (I love bad internet. lol) Anyways, thank you so much for the feedback!!

Good, I’m glad I was able to incorporate some of your suggestions in that one!

Oh I love what you did in the example. Perfect. I get so caught up in making sure the info that is needed is there,…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009

Found it!

I’ll give you some feedback in a few days. We have a big party going on at our house tomorrow (and I’m working this afternoon) so I’m pretty busy, and I want to give this a good amount of time—there’s a lot of changes from the original version that I would like to comment on.

But for now, I’ll just say, this is really good!