Rolena Hatfield

@daeus Never heard of the hudsucker proxy. I’ll check it out.

@timothy-young I like How to Train Your Dragon 2 but I prefer the original. Better story. Sequel is a bit predictable in my opinion. But both are amazing.

@ingridrd Harry Potter! Yaass!

@hope I watched Inkheart a few years back and I remember really liking it. Has an amazing, unique…[Read more]

1. Figure skating is one of my favorite sports. FALSE
2. I hate avocado and anything containing avocado. TRUE
3. I know how to wiggle my ears. TRUE

@the-bean
Good job! You guessed correctly. 🙂

@rolena-hatfield
Nope, #2 is true! I really do hate avocado.

@sarah-h
I actually do hate guacamole…I don’t know why. I wish I liked it!…[Read more]

1. Figure skating is one of my favorite sports. FALSE
2. I hate avocado and anything containing avocado. TRUE
3. I know how to wiggle my ears. TRUE

@the-bean
Good job! You guessed correctly. 🙂

@rolena-hatfield
Nope, #2 is true! I really do hate avocado.

@sarah-h
I actually do hate guacamole…I don’t know why. I wish I liked it! 😀

Hey, people! Check this out if you haven’t.

@graciekry @his-instrument @jess @clairec @the-happy-bookaholic @dragon-snapper @timothy-young @warrioroftherealm @winter-rose @ingridrd @christi-eaton @aysia-serene @adry_grace @belegteleri @hope @overcomer @vanna @faithdk @anna-brie @gretald @jadamae @hislittlerose @hannah-krynicki @writefury @hannah-o…[Read more]

@graciekry @his-instrument @jess @clairec @the-happy-bookaholic @dragon-snapper @timothy-young @warrioroftherealm @emma-flournoy @winter-rose @ingridrd @christi-eaton @aysia-serene @adry_grace @daeus @belegteleri @hope @overcomer @vanna @faithdk @anna-brie @gretald @kate-flournoy @jadamae @hislittlerose @hannah-krynicki @writefury @hannah-olsen @zo…[Read more]

@rolena-hatfield Thanks. That’s good input. I’m gonna try to sift through that chapter soon and see if there’s any way I can tone it down without completely messing up the story. There’s one little detail in particular I’m already thinking I’m gonna change.

And a little update for y’all. Relational aspects are healing. Still a lot of difficult…[Read more]

@Rolena-Hatfield Oh no, not much practice in that department at all. 😛

Good luck on all of your story. 🙂

@Rolena-Hatfield
Oh. My. Word. I LOVE THIS! Like everyone else has been saying, I want MORE! This is amazing. And…everyone else has already given all the feedback I would have given. 😉 Seriously, though, I love this. Keep writing for the Kingdom! 🙂

@Rolena-Hatfield Aha! I wondered why they were using knives instead of revolvers. While I don’t know if that sentence is gramatically impossible, you switch subjects halfway through the sentence without warning, which is a little confusing. I think it would be less confusing if you said “he reached out and clutched the cards, causing a cold sweat…[Read more]

Well, going back to read that part again, it does look more like she’s a child. 🙂 @Rolena-Hatfield

Heh. What they said, @Rolena-Hatfield. 😛
The story itself was engaging (and intriguing!!), but I noticed lots of structural issues, most noticeably past and present tense intermingled, and missing commas. Many words that could be switched around and/or changed for clearer meaning and smoother reading, too.

Also, the last sentence—I would say…[Read more]

Man, everyone got here before I did and said everything already… *sniff*
@Rolena-Hatfield this is really some great stuff here— love the very subtle yet distinct tone of the story. The one thing I noticed that no one else pointed out is that you tend to use this sentence structure a lot: ‘Doing something, he something somethingly…[Read more]

I love this! Very creative. Just a couple things I noticed…

The low lightening in the room cast shadows over his face when he leaned forward making him look very dark.

I believe you meant ‘lighting’ not ‘lightening’. 🙂

He confidence made my heart tremble.

His confidence.

I really need the money.

I think you unintentionally switched from…[Read more]

@rolena-hatfield I think this is looking good. I did pick out a good amount of things that could use improvement and I couldn’t really get to all of them, but it’s an engaging story for sure and you did an impressive job. The one thing that needed help throughout was that you got a lot of your verb tenses mixed up and occasionally you had problems…[Read more]

@rolena-hatfield How harsh do you want me to be? *evil grin*
Ah, well. Only a few things. First off, when a new person starts speaking, it begins a new paragraph. Like this:
“Don’t tell me what to do, Johnny!” Bully Bob growled.
“I can’t give you my milk money, Bob.” the kid sniffled, “I just can’t.”
“Well, you’d better. Because otherwise…[Read more]

@rolena-hatfield This is amazing! You have the wonderful ability to draw readers into your story with the right amount of suspense and establish a the main character as lovable and relatable without even giving us his name (in the beginning, at least)! There are a few spelling/punctuation errors, and I would agree with Sarah and Jess about a few…[Read more]

@rolena-hatfield This is amazing! You have the wonderful ability to draw readers into your story with the right amount of suspense and establish a the main character as lovable and relatable without even giving us his name! There are a few spelling/punctuation errors, and I would agree with Sarah and Jess about a few minor sentence changes, but…[Read more]

It’s great. Good job, @Rolena-Hatfield. I don’t have anything to add to the other comments. It sure made me want to read more 🙂
I’m glad Ellyon got away so well. My great-great grandfather hadn’t been quick enough.