Grace W.

@daeus Great! And I hope you realise it’s in edit mode rather than suggest mode. I’ll try to just make comments, but suggest mode is really helpful for making edits that you can later accept or reject.

@daeus I clicked the link and all that, will the doc be in my email or something? 🙂

@salome01w4g Be that as it may, you have to get through the creepy stuff to get to the good ending. 😉 I’m sure I’ll go back to it sometime. 😀

@daeus All right. Keep in mind I recently had to stop reading Perelandra from Lewis’ space trilogy because it got too creepy, but that doesn’t usually happen for me. But I’m learning to stop reading if I can’t handle it, so just fair warning. 😛

@daeus Hmm… I might be able to do it (I find I often underestimate how quick I can do these things). I’d just like to ask about content, if there’s possibly anything some people might not be comfortable with?

@daeus 8,900 words? Do you have a deadline?

@catwing So it looks like @jess-penrose and I are swapping. 🙂

@catwing That sounds good. I plan on doing NaNo as well, but 59,000 words doesn’t sound like it’d take too long. *thinking, thinking…*

You know what, to be on the safe side, put me in with the second group for after November. 🙂 Our school holidays start mid-December and finish late in January, so that would give me plenty of time. 🙂

@catwing Yeah, I’m interested, but it depends if you have a specific time you want it done by, or just anytime. 🙂

@daeus Wow! That’s really cool! And a really interesting concept of how a minor background character only exists when the hero is interacting with him.

I’m officially intrigued. You should definitely continue this. 😀

@xonos-darkgrate

Wow, it sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into all this. I like how it sounds sort of darker and edgier, but still good (as in good is good and will triumph).

@xonos-darkgrate @daeus Maybe it’s that, the power is used by everyone, but depending on who you use it through and for if it’s light or dark or grey. It could be like praying, if you pray to God (the only one you’re supposed to pray to), or to idols or other things.

@xonos-darkgrate This sounds intriguing! And those names are pretty good, except the twins’ names are very similar. That’s probably what you’re going for, of course, but personally I like it when twins don’t have similar names, it makes them seem more individual. But it’s up to you!

And while I don’t really have a problem with making fantasy…[Read more]

@seekjustice @jess-penrose @jane-maree *feels really pleased my suggestions were so helpful* 😉 😛

@catwing Ultimately it’s up to you to decide. And based on all the versions I’ve read, each one giving a little more about the story than before, yet still keeping it a mystery, I’d love to read this book as well. 😀

@catwing I think I like the second one better, but with a few tweaks (all suggestions of course 😉 ).

Alex is not normal. She talks with her wolves. And understands them.
Then she and her friends meet a mysterious cloaked messenger, who gives them a riddle from a long dead tyrant. They must save Allore by finding three jewels, and giving them to…[Read more]

@seekjustice You made sense. 😉 And yes, I agree. But not knowing who the main character(s) is/are (or if they’re all main characters), I didn’t comment on it.

@catwing Yes, it is better. May I make a couple more suggestions? *does it anyway* 😉

I’d remove “you could even say they were abnormal” because it’s redundant with the previous sentence.
Good job using short sentences, but too many at once makes it too bitty – there’s a balance. 🙂
For example, the last two sentences. As written, they would read…[Read more]

@catwing I did a little editing. The first is your original, and the second is my edit version. Your version is a bit wordy and passive, with rather long sentences. Shorter sentence portrays tension and danger. Hope it helps. 🙂

You Were Called By The King
Jack, Alex, Cele, John, Chase, and Amelia are not normal. Even before they met a mysterious…[Read more]

I think everyone makes great points about Luke as a character. And @salome01w4g I also like Han Solo.

@salome01w4g @xonos-darkgrate

I like Leia, but everyone’s entitled to their opinions. 😉 Luke was definitely my favourite in the original trilogy though. I find it a bit sad seeing them all 30 years later, and so old like that.