Andrew

@ellette-giselle

that’s what (frustratingly) keeps me from being able to say this scene doesn’t work. 

Part of my mission as an author is to get Christians to consider things they wouldn’t normally do and to think about them. Now that Alan’s joined The Faithful, we are starting to get into this. (Once I am done with this draft, I will write up a…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Thank you for the feedback!

Why does the crow seem to be sentient? Why does it want him to use the magic? Is this something all crows do or just this one?

I can only answer the last question. This is unusual behaviour for a crow in Ehverwyld. Most of their crows are just like ours. Smart for birds, but not sentient.

Who is Iskyagus?…

[Read more]

@linus-smallprint

lol. Poor Joseph. It must have been awful for him.

ah yes. Eric is very proud of himself.
good. Good! I’m so glad this scene works well! “touch down Tulip!!” (Storks if you haven’t scene the movie that quite come from)
 

I’m surprised there was no comment on the Julian/Joseph conversation.
was it good? Does it fit?

@linus-smallprint

that’s what (frustratingly) keeps me from being able to say this scene doesn’t work.

I don’t like you at all.

yes! Yes it does make sense, and I hate that I’m saying it, but it fits.

I doubly don’t like you.

I also agree that the interactions seem very stiff or formal, but I wasn’t sure if that’s what you’re going for.

@linus-smallprint ok!!

Let’s get to it!

-I see the king is trying to convince Oliver and Tyn to talk Alan into magic again. Yikes. I hope they don’t go through with it. I also read when Alan is going to try to use the magic himself, which won’t be good.

Why does the crow seem to be sentient? Why does it want him to use the magic? Is this…[Read more]

@koshka

Rory

“How’re you holding up”

Rory glanced over at Leo. “I’m okay.”

Leo nodded and continued on.
Rory glanced back at the school. He felt a crawling sensation along his spine. As if… as if someone was watching them.
Rory evened his pace so it would match Leo’s steps. He came alongside the older boy. “I think someone’s followi…[Read more]

@ellette-giselle

So, Joseph deftly avoided contact with her, and the days dragged into eternity.

Not an easy task since they are living in the same house. No wonder it felt like an eternity.

Eric says to tell you that he is sure he’s taller than you. 

A great accomplishment.

Let’s see, he said he used proverbs, especially 31, he used Timothy, Titu…

[Read more]

@keilah-h

Good to know. Thanks, Keilah!

@ellette-giselle

Awwww…

Leo

He smiled, his throat going tight as he watched the kid. He shifted Quincy to put an arm around Rory’s shoulders. “We go home, if you’re good with that. I’ll explain on the way.”

Rory didn’t outright object, so Leo took that as the agreement he needed. Silvia had taken to scanning windows. Her fingers were wrapped…[Read more]

@linus-smallprint I’m still reading! I just haven’t had the chance to critique the chapters.

@stephie

Also, thank you for saying something again. I was growing a little worried that no one other than Ellette was still reading since she has been the only one to respond for the past few chapters. So I’m glad to know you are still reading!

@ellette-giselle @stephie

Let’s be honest. This wasn’t surprising, was it? Rour warned you several times.

You can successfully torture your readers.

It’s part of the job.

What do you think of Alan’s logic for deciding to go back?

Just met the second crow, but I’m pausing to call something.

I think it’s his mother.

Maybe.

Maybe indeed, Ell…[Read more]

@raxforge friggin’ cheese?

never heard of that.

but I love cheese so…….

@mineralizedwritings

Aaaaahhh he looks so ethereal, I love it!! It does look translucent, you really caught the effect! And it’s so different from your other projects because it’s a lot more flowy and glowy.

You good, Kefa?

@jonas @ellette-giselle

It might help to get the first part of Group 1 (wounded, non-fighters, etc) to the river so we aren’t scrabbling to get everyone there after this side mission.

@hybridlore

Thank you!

Cute scene between Joseph and Julian? Hmm, not exactly the word I would have gone for…… lol. I think I get what you mean tho.

Ah. I use the name Jesus a lot in my writing. It’s a name with power.

@the_lost-journal

You’re not kicked. You just haven’t RPd so most people guessed you dropped out.

Plus, the boat crew, (which I think you’re characters are with) has done nothing for quiet some time because we’re trying to connect the other groups to them in order to have a little conference and figure out what on earth is…[Read more]

@hybridlore   @linus-smallprint    @koshka   @keilah-h    @elishavet-pidyon   @grcr

Okay, I made the suggested changes to the last couple of sections, and I’m working on some more Joseph/Amelia interactions. I thought I’d just go ahead and post the next scene while I take care of the other stuff.

NEXT SECTION

After Leon and Julian left…

[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium @the_lost-journal

Ilahna — Elderstrand, Deepwater

Ilahna looked around in confusion. A hole in the air, a bit different looking than the one Klethen had made looked out on the deck of the ship in the middle of the river. She directed one of her Voices to slam into Klethen, knocking him through, then leapt after, crashing…[Read more]