Ruth

@freed_and_redeemed

I think you probably already thought of this, but Eric would probably try to frame Riker. Get Riker on everyone’s bad side.

Steal cigarettes and put them in Riker’s stuff. Dirty uniforms and leave some trace of Riker behind. Rummage belongings. That kinda stuff.

I think that could go under three of the bullet notes you have,…[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed @jonas @whalekeeper @loopylin @keilah-h @theducktator

 
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@highscribeofaetherium @freed_and_redeemed @jonas @whalekeeper @loopylin @keilah-h @theducktator @whoever-cares

Yeah, I’m bothering everyone again. I like the idea of this scene, but I feel like it has some major problems. I want to see if any of you notice it, since I’ve found more than once that I stress over things that others are like “…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Your post didn’t post

@theducktator

I kind of didn’t trust him. If he continued to be this kind I would come to love him though. I just have trust issues with nice characters. XD. They’re so often evil.

That cracked me up. Mostly from surprise. Mandin is nice like that all the time, with sparks of extreme loyalty readers see here and there at the right times. He als…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Tag didn’t work

@whalekeeper @loopylin

Chase

Chase reached into his pocket and silently pulled out his phone that he had grabbed from the floor before the three of them left the scene. He held it where the girl could see it, before sliding it back into his pocket.

“We, we need to…” He pointed to the doorway. “T-teachers, sta, stew, stu-dents find us.”

@everyone

Thanks for answering my questions, it meant a lot.

And yes, it is a violin.

@freed_and_redeemed

Yessssss, very much so! I really loved the body language and it really conveyed Nahim’s feelings/emotions/fears for sure!

Good. I was worried it was kinda unclear.

A Violinnnnnnnnn (and I was over here excited, like: HEYYY, RIKER PLAYS VIOLIN!! XD)

No way! That’s amazing! Idk even how to react, that’s just SO GREAT! And I’m o…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Yep, makes sense. One thing that threw me out a little was how Nahim stuttered a bit, and his shivery response. I haven’t seen much of this character but for some reason I picture him as the stoic, silent warrior type. The stuttering especially sounds like a younger man or boy – the type like in Way of Kings, with the boy who was dra…

[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium @freed_and_redeemed @jonas @whalekeeper @loopylin @keilah-h @theducktator @whoever-cares

Hey,I need help knowing if this scene feels forced or anything.

The context is that Mandin invited Nahim to a festival that Mandin’s family was having, and Nahim promised to finally tell Mandin his traumatic backstory.

Evening came,…

[Read more]

@freed_and_redeemed

Yeah, I had to do this same thing last month… Poor Nahim was totally broken…

Anyways, what I personally did was not focus much on the physical, but went more for the thoughts and emotions of my MC. It was still awful, but not in a gruesome way.

I did mention the body language a couple times of the one being tortured, but…[Read more]

@whalekeeper

Yes, I’ve been thinking about that for the past couple months. For whatever reason, skinwalkers ad hydras have been popping into my head every time I think about it…

I’ll begin brainstorming but for now let us set up our characters. Idk, maybe we make up someone who can get captured by a dragon and everyone goes to save them 🤷🏻‍♀️…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Silvanis

“Of course you’re a dragon! I’m not stupid, despite popular opinion. And no, no other dragons-” Silvanis stopped, looking around. “Well, minus the one outside. He doesn’t appear to have a rifle, but my vision can kinda get blurry through walls so don’t trust me. Can’t tell his color but doesn’t appear to have a feminine build.…[Read more]

@loopylin @whalekeeper

Well, we have some bad teachers and haven’t yet met the good ones. Sounds like an average school to me.

It’d take an exceptional teacher to change Chase’s mind about school. I mean, if your school teacher was either a man you were always afraid of or a woman who literally tried to kill you, how would you…[Read more]

Wyoh! I hate you!

@keilah-h

Huh, that’s interesting cuz I’ve never seen more of Tron than a ten-second clip in which most my attention was on the motorcycle things.

I’m planning on redoing the Silvanis  drawing now cuz I see it from my bed where I set it and his ear, his cheek, and his neck scream at me every time I look at him.

I also need to…[Read more]

@loopylin @whalekeeper

Trying again

Chase

“Hey, calm down, kid. Just trying to help you up.”

Chase tried to say he was sorry but all that would come out were weak vocalizations that made no sense. He acted like a scared rabbit, his breathing fast and shallow, his eyes darting, and his body shaking.

Friend or foe? Who is this? 

Heavy…[Read more]

@loopylin @whalekeeper

Chase

Chase hadn’t realized until now that his breathing was unnatural. He stared straight into the one eye of the person who had caught him and opened his mouth to speak. Nothing came out. He tried again. He couldn’t make any words form, only weak vocalizations. Giving up, he allowed his eyes to flash neon yellow like…[Read more]