Mallory O'Bier

@Emma-Flournoy ha! Well, that’s definitely a symbol. 😛 *coughs* I was thinking though… ya know… like… time travel??*cough**cough*

@Daeus of the three I like the last one best, but none of them are really jumping out to me as worthy of the story. Is there something… less generic? Maybe something that more obviously says ‘time travel’?
All three of those also seem slightly forced, theme-wise. *scrunches self down in chair and trails off into unhelpful muttering* I don’t…[Read more]

The first one grabs me the most, but the rhythm is a bit off to me; what about ‘Darkened Ages’?

@That_writer_girl_99 WOOT! So glad you guys are safe. 🙂

Yep. 110% what they said.

@salome01w4g There was also Cornwallis, who was a British officer in the American Revolution.

@Emily
I agree with what everyone else said. Just change the names of the kids and maybe just don’t mention the location at all. Also, you could make the family only have 3 kids, unless the 4 children is a main part of the story. 🙂

Welp. Apparently in my focused critiquing I completely missed all of you. XD Good writing anyways. I’m still here and still going. 😛

@Daeus @Dragon-Snapper @That_Writer_Girl_99 @Emily @everyone
I’m going to be critiquing for the better half of the day again. *settles down with some pizza* I’ll be here for several hours.

@Emily yep what Hannah said basically. It should be fine because people won’t expect it to be a real life person, and if they do it’s a one in a billion chance that they know your brother.

@dragon-snapper @salome01w4g @winter-rose @graciegirl @daughteroftheking @jane-maree I’m planning to write for a half an hour.

@bethanysinkyroses Great question. >.> Short answer is no. Long answer is we hope to release it sometime in the next several months, but right now a lot of my time at least has been eaten up by rolling out this new web design. Once we have that done and rolled out, figuring out a release date for this is close to the top of my list of things to do…

@salome01w4g Don’t worry, I’m still plenty of a historical fiction fan.

*blinks* Bye all….is anyone still there?

@theacornman Welcome to the bestistest place on the internet! That’s awesome that you’re a Brit. I’ve just been waiting for one of you to show up. 🙂

So does your story has a vengeance plot? Those are some of my favorite. I’m starting to really like fantasy too.

@dragon-snapper @emily @salome01w4g I’m signing off now. I wrote 469 words.

Hannah, I’m writing a short story. It’s kind of… a romance tragedy and I suppose it’s probably inspirational fiction. Let’s just call it literary fiction. 😀

I find that if I let it go all the way to 70, it gets really weird. Like, it’ll miss a post of mine, or it’ll send me back to the first page.
*dragon shrug and thumps tail, sending gold everywhere*

@daeus @salome01w4g @daughteroftheking I’ll be writing a few short essays for school. *melts desk* Oh look. Now I can’t…

*desk magically reappears*

Oh.

@theacornman
No, I’m American. I wondered because my family visited England last summer. Do you live more in the country or city.