NatalieMarie

@Daughteroftheking it’s worth a shot. 😛

@Ethryndal sweeeeeet.

@xonos-darkgrate what @Daeus said, basically.

Otherwise I think it looks very solid. You seem to already have a lot of thematic material (foils and such) to work with, so you’re starting out with a wide perspective and plenty of stuff to juggle around. Also you seem to know what to do with that stuff, which is always a plus. XD

As for names……[Read more]

The story sounds solid from what you’re telling me. *thumbs up*

I do, however, wonder about the story world. It’s not that I think it’s wrong to do what you’re doing, but I wonder if it’s right. A force that leaks through cracks int he universe sounds mystical and there doesn’t appear to be a God in your story. I certainly believe that fantasy…[Read more]

@xonos-darkgrate I’m pretty sure most publishers will technically except writers of any age, though you may have to get a cosigner if you’re under 18 or something like that. I don’t know. I certainly know that some publishers do accept younger writers. Now, if they know that you’re younger, you will probably have a harder time convincing them to…[Read more]

@catwing Good job with the improvements. 😀

I also liked @perfectfifths‘ improvements. I’ll go off those and add some adjustments myself.

Alex is not normal. She and her friends talk with animals. (No need to say they understand animals. That’s assumed if they talk with them.)

Then she and her friends meet a mysterious cloaked messenger, who…

[Read more]

@seekjustice @jess-penrose @jane-maree *feels really pleased my suggestions were so helpful* 😉 😛

@catwing Ultimately it’s up to you to decide. And based on all the versions I’ve read, each one giving a little more about the story than before, yet still keeping it a mystery, I’d love to read this book as well. 😀

@catwing I think I like the second one better, but with a few tweaks (all suggestions of course 😉 ).

Alex is not normal. She talks with her wolves. And understands them.
Then she and her friends meet a mysterious cloaked messenger, who gives them a riddle from a long dead tyrant. They must save Allore by finding three jewels, and giving them to…[Read more]

@emily

How do you make it have that bar thing before something that you copy from another section?

Select the text and click the B-QUOTE button.

@Aislinn-Mollisong got it. 🙂 You did mention that you weren’t going to use that in the final, but I wanted to make sure. They’re fine to use for fun, but if you’re going to use them commercially in any way… yep. Copyrights. 😉

Awesome! Show it to me when you’re done.

@Aislinn-mollisong it looks great, but I’ve seen that image floating around and I’m pretty sure it’s not free; did you find the artist and ask for copyright license?

But as far as composition and layout, it looks great. The only thing is you might want to consider a slightly bolder, straighter font. Something more in tune with the fantasy mood.

@catwing First of all, go get a copy of How To Write A Sizzling Synopsis. It’s a very good book.

That said, here are a few tips to get you started. I’m working off your most recent synopsis.

1. Yes, use as few names as possible. Say “main character and his five friends” or something like that.
2. When you say these people are not normal–even…[Read more]

@seekjustice You made sense. 😉 And yes, I agree. But not knowing who the main character(s) is/are (or if they’re all main characters), I didn’t comment on it.

@catwing Yes, it is better. May I make a couple more suggestions? *does it anyway* 😉

I’d remove “you could even say they were abnormal” because it’s redundant with the previous sentence.
Good job using short sentences, but too many at once makes it too bitty – there’s a balance. 🙂
For example, the last two sentences. As written, they would read…[Read more]

@catwing I did a little editing. The first is your original, and the second is my edit version. Your version is a bit wordy and passive, with rather long sentences. Shorter sentence portrays tension and danger. Hope it helps. 🙂

You Were Called By The King
Jack, Alex, Cele, John, Chase, and Amelia are not normal. Even before they met a mysterious…[Read more]

I think everyone makes great points about Luke as a character. And @salome01w4g I also like Han Solo.

@Jane-Maree Those hidden (or else, not so hidden—but still 😛 ) meanings are fun. 😀

@That_Writer_Girl_99 I see the point. What Kate said about character dynamic-ness and duplicity is right true though.
And honestly though, I think a bunch of my dislike for Luke comes from the bad acting. That he’s really poorly acted makes him a whole lot less…good in every way as a character. Which isn’t Luke’s fault, it’s Mark Hamil’s. XD If…[Read more]

@Ethryndal Um…I came up with it off the top of my head, yes, though it’s hardly a stunning simile. XD I must’ve just been favored at the moment, because usually when I try to think up an appropriate metaphor—YEAH, I know how hard it is. Ugh. 😛

@That_Writer_Girl_99 *blinks* I don’t pat your head.

@Jane-Maree COOL. Is the girl’s last name…[Read more]

@Aislinn-Mollisong I have never used Canva, but @Hope has had a very good experience with it, so yes. That could be another option.