NatalieMarie

@sam-kowal Good revisions. (And good synopsis in general, btw. These things are hard.)

Possibly, these three revisions could help.

Feastings end – feasting ends.

Only humans farm in the city of Kurr. Dwarfs would rather win glory in the exosuit arena. When food got low in the winter of 1276, the dwarves robbed us of our crops.

The dwarfs are…[Read more]

@rochellaine, I like it! It’s a great analogy.

I’m writing alternative historical fiction about the Pacific (mainly Australia and Papua New Guinea) in WWII. When I first mentioned that here on the forum everyone’s reactions were “You’re changing history? You can’t do that!” But. Think Captain America (which I haven’t seen, but know the entire…[Read more]

@rochellaine, ah-hah! Another person who isn’t really into fantasy. Isn’t it funny how everyone on here seems to be writing about elves? 😛 I might write some fantasy in the future, but for now my writing tries to stay relatively realistic. Do you read fantasy, or do you just not like it very much?

@Sam-Kowal perfect. 😀

@sam-kowal The idea is definitely intriguing.

As far as the synopsis goes, I agree with Kate that the voice is slightly inconsistent. My main advice though is cut anything you can. Like, “believe me, that tends to curb one’s appetite could be cut. There are a few words you cut elsewhere or phrases you could rephrase to sue less word.

Also, I…[Read more]

@Sam-Kowal ooh I really like it! Super cool concept. I think I’d definitely pick it up and read it.

On a more writerly note, the synopsis itself is well written, but it does seem a little choppy in places. It may simply be a case of too many fragments. Also, this is bugging me a little and it’s probably just me. But the voice is inconsistent……[Read more]

@JoiseBeth Welcome to KP! Mere Christianity is great. 😀

@rochellaine, Funny! 😛

@seekjustice, 😛 *giggles*

@dekreel, no I haven’t. I was supposed to, but we don’t have them in Australia, so it was a no go. 🙁

@seekjustice, Scarred you forever? *grins* Sorry.

@dekreel, the frog was pretty cool, but my favourite would probably be the bull’s eye I did a few years ago.

@seekjustice, *points at you* “PREACH!!” Except the biology. I like cutting things up… as you probably know if you saw the pictures of my dissections *evil cackle*

@dekreel lol, that’s fabulous!! 😀

And yes, that’s Mackenzie.

@jenwriter17 It is. Which is why this is the first side-angle drawing I’m quite happy with. 😉 😀

@jane-maree Ah, yes. Your screen must exceed the length of the image. I went ahead and tiled the parallax images.

oops!*wonders why she makes so many typos*

love the collage, @jenwriter17. 🙂

That looks really good, @rochellaine!

Love to collage @jenwriter17. 🙂

@daeus it looks great! Good work. 😉

@Daeus looks great. The only thing I noticed is a typo at the very end— in the money back section, you said ‘every’ when you meant ‘ever’. Other than that, it’s lovely. 🙂

Fine, if it’s our battle cry, I’ll say it too…

HI! Imma Kapeefer!!

HI! Imma Kapeefer!!

HI! Imma Kapeefer!!

HI! Imma Kapeefer!!

HI! Imma Kapeefer!!

Right, I think that’s probably enough… *dusts hands*

@the-real-kapeefer, I’m certain someone has already asked this, but what genre do you write? That’s awesome that the Bible is your favourite book.