Mark Kamibaya

@kate-flournoy

Yes, I should think so. 😀 Such a shame, all the stuff cool is happening in the States. 😛 We don’t even have a Disneyland here (yet…?) 😛

@perfectfifths
There are some very cool and well-done battles scenes in the prequels, but Anakin was very annoying.

@perfect-fifths Moody teenager indeed.
There are some very cool and well-done battles scenes in the prequels, but Anakin was very annoying.

@daeus

It’s really good, I think I’m interested. I think I agree with @kate-flournoy about the slight choppiness of the whole thing. Perhaps a little more backstory? (I am not an expert on how synopses work, so I don’t know how much one should put in and how much one should leave out)

“…but strange events keep thwarting his every move. In a…[Read more]

I’d probably rate it 8 too. Well, we’re consistent. 😛

Yeah, I think it’s pretty good, and considering I’m not really good at synopses, you’ve done a better job than me. 😛 Oh, and I see what @kate-flournoy means by the “Something something something, something something something result,” structure. Like she said, you may want to vary. Like, we…[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke…[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke…[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke as a…

[Read more]

@daeus
*melts synopsis* ATTACK!!! 😛 😀
Okay, just kidding.
So, for me, I wasn’t able to connect this:

Returning to wreak his vengeance, Matthew takes on the character of the mysterious Edwin Brook.

To this:

His wealth and power make his success almost certain

I guess for me, I don’t really know anything about Edwin Brooke as a…

[Read more]

Mmmm… yes. I like this. Not really much to attack… the one thing that jumped out at me as needing some work was you used this sentence structure:

Something something something, some resulting something something something result.

a lot. With the comma after the first few set-up words, then a tacked-on resulting thought. There’s nothing…[Read more]

Ohhhhhh… yikes. Well. Yes. That would definitely put a damper on your chances of attendance. 😛

@PerfectFifths

@emma-flournoy

Wow? Really? Huh… Cool!

Well, alright.

@kate-flournoy I live in, *ahem* Western Australia XD 😀

@Daeus actually I have to go. Good luck.

Well, you never asked. 😛 I actually have to go to bed at ten so it’s more like 9:45, but close enough. Company is welcome.

What? You go till ten and you’ve never told me? I’m having an existential crisis. Maybe I’ll have to do that occasionally… I like to read at night, but I should be writing more…