Loopy

@ellette-giselle

*randomly pops in*

Maybe having Leon point that out would help readers realize it more?

@elishavet-pidyon

I liked how you had Neveah try to combat the lie, and it’s obvious it’s for Sef’s sake, not her own. To make this sequence really work, maybe make Sef think her Mani is just trying to save herself – it’s not a lie about Sef, but it would make the former lie hit home. Make her really crumble since the last thing keeping the lie f…

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@elishavet-pidyon

wowww…that’s a lot to think about and really helpful!!! Thank you!

@elishavet-pidyon

Lol. Leon is more experienced than Julian. J will level out, he’s just excited and nervous and high strung and…. you get the point.

@linus-smallprint

AWWW!!! Adorable!!! So sweet!

@linus-smallprint aww cute! His paws look great too.

@stephie

XD XD I didn’t end up getting my throat blessed because the line was really long and I was like “huh, you know what, that isn’t necessary so whatever.”

 

 

 

 

 

I have a sore throat

*cries*

lollll that could be a coincidence or it could be your body, used to the concept of being blessed, is rebelling since it didn’t get what it…

@elishavet-pidyon

WHY would ANYONE in his right mind Say That?

It’s Julian who needs this speech. Go ask him.

He’s a little hot headed, he’s a firebrand, and he’s desperately excited to share the truth with his people.

 

Anyway, you probably do all that in this book, and I am really enjoying reading this. So far cultures are fascinating and the…

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@the_lost-journal aww that’s terrible.

@linus-smallprint

I like Rasins. Good for Leon and Julian not rejecting them.

why would anyone reject raisins!!??

Hmm. They’ve been away for about ten years, so things are going to feel very different to them. I can try to add a coming home feel.

Yes, they’ve had a wild day, and it’s just getting started.

Interesting. Both the…[Read more]

Here’s a little background on that scene…

yes, I know it is very sloppy and not perfect (I just wrote it literally today)

but here’s the cliffnotes:

• Sef is a slave of Iver, who is a Pythonos.
• Sef and Iver are currently in the throne room of the Master, leader of all Pythonos
• Iver has applied for a military position, and the Master is…

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@the_lost-journal

WHATTT
the chosen makes me wanna cry

it’s so good!!!! they portrayed it so well in my opinion hahaha

it’s my FAVORITE show of all time hahaha

@elishavet-pidyon

YES those are what I’m looking for!!!!
I will definitely be using those later in my book…

But I’m struggling with a specific scene where I need a lie XDXD and none of these seem to fit…

“Well, what are you waiting for?” the Master spat, motioning for Iver to continue. “You may begin whenever you are ready.”

Sef’s knees sho…

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@linus-smallprint

Okay good lol

Also, Paynes cannot become Pythonos because of genetics, but I’m not sure how to incorporate that in the book quite yet…don’t worry though, I’ll make that clearer in other drafts.

@esther-c

Okay perfect! Thank you!

@the_lost-journal

Aw I’m glad <3

Some of those were lies. what do you mean? You yourself said that they were lies.

yes, they are lies…

But they’re not the type of lies in my story…

agh I don’t know how to explain it, I’m sorry!!

@the_lost-journal

omc…you’re gonna make me cry…that’s so sad! I’m so sorry that people said that to you…I hope you know it’s not true and that NO ONE should EVER talk that way to another person! That makes me really mad actually, like why do people have to be so mean?!?

so I have experience with a lot of insults!

Unfortunately, though those…[Read more]

@trailblazer

It needs to be lies that affect the way you think…but shorter. Like “you are nothing” will have more impact than “you are ugly/not beautiful” will…

I’m not really sure how to explain it, but I’m looking for short lies, not so much longer insults.

@the_lost-journal That’s so mean, who said that to you?

@linus-smallprint

did you see the newest sections?

@linus-smallprint

Haha, That sounds like a funny strip.

Hmm, well you would be correct. Maybe. I like some long games, like Everdale, and I love Chess, but other then that I’m not much of a board game person. I like to play them once, (maybe twice) but after that it feels repetitive. *shrug*

I like card games tho. XD

The only time a…

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