@linus-smallprint
Active 11 hours, 29 minutes ago- Rank: Eccentric Mentor
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The thing is I relise I’ve been spending way too much time on the computer and my phone recently. I think I need to take a break. So the plan is, once I am done the draft of my current work in progress, to take a step back from electronics for a bit and actually do some real things, like touch grass again. (Ah… grass…). For how long? Maybe a week. Maybe a month. Maybe more, I don’t know, but I need to get away from screens again.
So needless to say, I am a bit hesitant to jump into helping someone with a new project. But one I am done, I would be happy to help!
I am curious to know the premise….
*Enters detective mode and analyses message…*
Let’s see. Yup. Mmm-hmm. Danger of getting caught or killed… Okay. Self-destructing message. Uh-huh… Nazis? Could be just because of the grammar, but we will take it into consideration anyway. Give it a shot… Guns? So that could mean…
A World War II spy story!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Okay, I will try to get you some answers before too long
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Thank YOU for all the help. All of you have been so kind and helpful. Never could have rewritten this without help.
Your welcome! Let me know one you have the feedback questions ready please!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Oh wait, what if he’s describing the painting and he was like, “it was from one of the kingdoms that has knights, obviously not here,” or something like that.
Or does that not work.
Still seems kind of ‘as you know’ish.
Something along those lines. What if he says ‘it was a painting from [_____]. Flavia loved the knight in it and often lamented we didn’t have any here. She said I would make the perfect knight, and would make up stories about…’
*shrugs* It just seems like this would fit well with Flavia and provide the explanation you want in a natural way.
He would have just published the journals. I had an idea of having someone like a novelist pick up the journals and hunt down Joseph’s descendants and such and then be the author of the books, but I decided to stick with the archaeological student because I like that better.
He didn’t know about them. But, if he gets interested in Leon and Julian’s story, (which he is) he’ll start digging (metaphorically and literally) and uncover things about them.
As for the churches, everyone in the Empire was taken into slaver. It was just if they stayed in the Empire or were taken somewhere else that was what changed. Rolf was able to get his group to stay, but some of the other churches were spread out.
Ah. Okay. Thank you!
anyhow, that’s the end.
Good? Or not.
I think the time skip was the right choice. Without it, the ending wouldn’t feel that much different from the other books, and we would be expecting you to switch to Fox or someone else and continue. This wraps it up in a satisfying way that concludes everything.
By the way, who was the person that slipped Leon and Julian the note telling them what happened to the prince at the end of the previous book? I don’t believe we ever found out.
Thank you for sharing your series with us! If I remember correctly, it was just about a year ago that you started posting the first book on here, right?
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Rowan shook his head. “No, just any soldier younger than twenty-seven.”
I don’t know too much about war or armies, but I know enough to know that is a bad idea. Especially since it is the younger ones. That’s got to be more than half of his army! Is he trying to be the blood god? Yuck.
Good to see Rowan be saved and some hints that some of the other soldiers may have turned as well. We needed that.
Nice touch with Fox taking over the journals at the end.
Now, I don’t know why Ararveh attached the Empire
Attacked.
Interesting with Rolf’s descendant writing the afterward. In his world, is he publishing these books as we see them now? Or is he just publishing the journals. Also what does he know about Aaron and Joseph? I also would like to know some more of what happened to the church in the capital. Were they all taken into slavery? Or was a church able to remain there as well?
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
is that actually bad though? I haven’t done it often, and I don’t see much of another way to get that info across. Plus, I’ve used “as you know” sentences before in conversation just to help listeners make quick side connections so they can focus on the main line of thought. Idk.
Well the problem is that it is kind of weird. It would be kind of like if I went up to you and said something like, “Donald Trump is the President of the USA – There is no king in the United States of America, only a president, so President Trump is the guy in charge.” Unless I’m Captain Obvious, this isn’t a natural conversation especially that bit after the hyphen.
But there are other ways you could have this come up without it being weird. Maybe after Leon explains how he became a knight, Julian could say, “Ah, I always wondered how the Empire ended up with a knight.” Or earlier in the story, when Leon announces himself as a white knight, some side or background character who is not up to date on things may say something like, “Yeah, right. Everyone knows the empire doesn’t have knights. Where have you been for the last ${200} years?” In which case he will immediately be forced to eat his own words. So there are other options that will flow better, you just have to get creative.
A little bit, honestly.
I don’t know if that similarity between Leon and the prince was intentional or not, but try to pay attention when you do things like this and draw more out of it. It can add to your story. Part of why Leon may have been drawn to Dietrich was because he understood what it was like to be famous, but at the same time hidden.
does his whole backstory make sense with him and his character, or does any of it seem/feel unbelievable.
I think I’m going to need to reread some stuff. One think that comes to mind is when Leon and Rolf were taken into slavery. From what I remember, I got a scene this was Leon’s first time as a slave. Now I know he wasn’t actually a slave, but in his backstory he told us that he was no better than a slave in the eyes of the nobles and he trained with them, which should give him some sympathy and understanding for them. (Unless he was too arrogant for that). But his treatment there should help prepare him for when he does become a slave, and he can draw on that to help guide Rolf before they are separated.
Other than that, I think it works.
any thoughts on the new prince and his motives?
Not too much. I haven’t read that last section yet, but guessing from the shorter and italicized lines I noticed at the end it will be the last one.
Right now the prince doesn’t seem to be that much different from the priests. In fact, he seems like excitably the sort of person the priests would want on the throne. Similar motives, gullible to their lies, and fully into his ‘role’ as a ‘god’.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
There were from some far-off country— we don’t have knights here.
They, not there.
Also, this is ‘As you know’ dialogue. Leon is telling Julian something he already knows in order to inform the reader.
“And then I put it on. There was a helmet that completely covered my face so that no one could ever recognize me or tell how old or young I was. She gave me a white horse and chose her very own bodyguard as my herald. She swore him to secrecy, but even he didn’t know who I was. Then, I disappeared. I went a lived in a secret place and trained. I was already a skilled warrior, but I had to become better. She came and taught me the manners of a nobleman, but with both decided that none should ever see my face. The mystery of an unknown warrior would carry me farther than anything I could do with my sword.”
In a way like the prince with his mask.
I wounder if Leon’s backstory should have come out sooner, but I’m not certain.
Defiantly in the ‘Darkest Low’ moment now. With meeting the price in person, and seeing that he took the throne, you’ve got a good setup of darkness along with Leon’s ominous comments at the end and hints of where they are. It’s hard to see the light right now and any positive outcome, which makes it perfect for the climax.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@whalekeeper @stephie @theducktator @ellette-giselle @keilah-h
Chapter 30 out!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
is it bad that I can perfectly read that as “potato” now that I know the context?? lol
Yes. But not because of you. It’s because of our weird language where noses run and feet smell and the inconsistent way we spell things.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
So they are captured now. Well, it was only a matter of time…
“Lord, help us top trust you,”
To trust.
“I don’t know. I guess I’m a little nervous,” Leon replied. “I don’t know what they’re going to decide, and everything seems so confusing. I was ready to give my life for Christ, yet now it seems that has been thrown aside, and we are only to be punished for military offenses in Ardenta. I don’t know what that will result in.”
My guess is that either the officer feels that his other accusations aren’t working, or that he wants to kill them in a way that doesn’t draw attention to their faith.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
Help! My brain hurts! It cannot accept this!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
I have to to the American dollar, but now I need to do more math.
Can’t you just use an online USD to CAD converter?
Okay, about $689.23 in Canadian dollars…. if I did that right.
Ah. Thank you.
Oh right. Julian and Leon do just about everything together, so sometimes I forget that they aren’t always meeting the same people. 😂
Ah yes.
You know what would be funny? If you had Leon make the same mistake, forgetting that Julian wasn’t with him when he met Rowan and then being confused as to why Julian doesn’t recognize him.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
25 gold pieces
That’s a lot of money.
Equivalent in the Canadian dollar please.
Julian should be happy since he was complaining that he wasn’t worth more earlier.
That’s enough to buy a pair of fine horses of a good piece of land.
Okay. That helps.
“The Empire killed my brother, that is why we ran,” Julian added.
I would expect Julian to give Leon a look or say something like ‘you know this guy’ before saying something like this.
Ah. It was Rowan. Interesting that the reason they were found out was all an accident.
I have a feeling it is not too long until the end of the book now.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
@whalekeeper @stephie @theducktator @ellette-giselle @keilah-h
Chapter 29!
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.
I guess I doesn’t really matter anyway. It’s just something that throws me off, but after you get into the story, its clear who you are talking about.
Sometimes it is necessary to paint the sky black in order to see the stars.