Linus Smallprint

and here’s another.

@grcr

I think the chapter was good! Intriguing.

Thanks! I’m glad!

I don’t really have any thoughts in a critical sense, and I’m not the best person to ask… but I do like it!

Oh that’s ok. I was more looking for general response as a reader, not so much critical  feedback as of yet. (though it’s always welcome.)

The last part was pretty sad to…

[Read more]

@highscribeofaetherium

I finished up Esther’s drawing. If you have your character picked and ready I’d love to draw it.

@esther-c

Oh I’m so glad!! I wasn’t sure if they turned out the way you were hoping they would. I’m so glad they’re good!

@esther-c

Hi Esther,

I finished your characters, though I must say that this style is not my forte. I normally draw all my girls in dresses or skirts so this was a little new. I hope you like it. If not, I can try again. 🙂

@esther-c

Ok, here’s the first one.

@jonas @freed_and_redeemed @savannah_grace2009 @highscribeofaetherium @rae

btw, anyone interested in taking a look at the character boards I just finished up?

@rae

He does pretty well in the beginning, but then Vorgan uses Nahim’s greatest fear to break him. It’s the darkest hour in my book, and I haven’t written it fully yet.

Ooooo, love it!!! YES YES YES!! You have to post that scene as soon as you write it!!

@rae

Next chapter, Vorgan captures Nahim, and takes Nahim’s weapons.

Wait really??!!!! I want to read that!!! I love capture scenes. Especial if the badguys are really mean and the hero still doesn’t lose his head. all though, from what I’ve seen of Nahim………

As for the fight scene thing, it really does end in a few seconds. A fight that g…[Read more]

@rae

Oh, I also read your scene for Chase’s book. Don’t really have any comments, but I like it. Nice title, too.

@rae

I read your scene, and overall, I think it’s really good. I’m not very good at critiquing, but I did want to mention just a couple things I noticed.

One, Mandin said it would take Nahim several minutes to defeat an opponent with a sword. Exchanges with swords actually usually last for a handful of seconds.

(Btw, do you have an in-…[Read more]

@rae

Oooo, I really like that! Sounds good!

@grcr

So what’d you think of the first chapter?

@esther-c

Livia

“I’m an Aquino,” she shrugged. “I was born with it.”

She formed a miniature waterspout over her hands and watched it whirl, then letting it fall into a small puddle at her feet.

@theshadow

Also, this map might help you to visualize the countries.

I loved it!!! That was great!!

Haha. You happy now.

And I just saw the cover. ITS SO GOOD!!!!!!

Thank you!!!!

Yes, I would love to!!!

Wonderful! I’ll create a new WIP and tag you!

Also, I just dropped a couple scenes on the Chat Chat if you want to take a look. It’s the book I’m currently working on revising.

@grcr

Childhood trauma warning. lol.
Chapter 1.
District 5

A seventeen-year-old boy dressed in a black pull-over hoodie, khaki pants, and a too small pair of shoes, crouched on the roof of a house. It was dark out, and he was well hidden in shadows. His light brown hair was covered by his hood, and his green eyes–– holding a mixture of anger and…[Read more]

@grcr

I also agree with Rae, though, that it doesn’t really sound like 2065…

Yeah, well scrap the date. It was an idea that I don’t think will work for the plot outline. So. No date.

I feel like them talking out all of their plans for a whole chapter/prologue isn’t the most… eye catching… at least in my opinion…

But then again, I feel like…

[Read more]

@rae

Should be ‘reins’ if you mean like those that control a horse.

I’m dying. YES it is. Grammar!!!!!!!! My old nemesis strikes again. 🙁

i like the story idea, but the tech level sounds to much like our time. I don’t get that sci-fi vibe from it.

Ugh. Grrrrrrrr. Ok, Maybe I’ll bring the date down a little. Closer in I guess. I’ll try to fix t…[Read more]