Linus Smallprint

@ellette-giselle @whalekeeper

I don’t know what that would be! If they were girls it would be easy! I just don’t know how guys “connect” and whenever I try to write it my brothers look like they’re going to throw up. They say I make them too girly in their getting to know each other, so I just kinda steer clear. Any ideas? – Ellette

The girls in…

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@ellette-giselle

Sorry for the late response. I was away on a day trip to the mountains on Saturday and I usually try to avoid going on my laptop on Sundays (also, it was my sister’s birthday, so wanted to celebrate that with her and the rest of my family)

  I was literally just snooping around on your profile and discovered you had a story! I w…

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@ellette-giselle

By the way, would you mind if I recruited you to read/give feedback on my project? It is a fantasy story set in a world that is similar in some ways to the Wingfeather world. If you don’t want to or don’t have the time, that is all right.

@ellette-giselle

Aaron looks like he’s kind of mischievous. Thanks for sharing these!

@ellette-giselle

Ugh. It ate my response. I’m going to cry and give up! I can’t do this anymore!

Try breaking it up into smaller sections next time. You don’t have to answer everyone’s comment in one go. It might be a bit too much for the server to process properly.

arrrrrrrrgh!!!! But I think it’s moving TOO SLOW!!! All of that is just setti…

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@ellette-giselle

One more thing I think you can use to further develop Aaron. You introduced him as someone who gets lost thought to the point where his teacher asks him to come back to the real world. How does this benefit and hinder him later on in the story?

@ellette-giselle

@linus-smallprint You are my only hope!

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror (some were probably named Aaron) and were suddenly silenced. – Obi-wan Kenobi (bit in parenthesis added)

Okay, I have thought through more of what Sara and Whaley have been saying. I’m sorry to…[Read more]

@loopylin @stephie @savannah_grace2009 @keilah-h @theshadow
Chapter the 9th is ready to read!
 
The Narrow Path Trilogy – Book I: The Cost
 

@ellette-giselle

I’m going to read that last part later. I need to go out and buy my sister a birthday present whale she is at work.

@savannah_grace2009

You’re welcome. I’m encouraged to hear you found that encouraging.

I’m only 14…and it makes me mad when my writing’s not as good as older writers’…but then I have to slow down and remember that I’m doing good for the age I’m at and I have plenty of time to get better!!!

I should let you know I was horrible at writing until…[Read more]

@savannah_grace2009, @ellette-giselle

Okay, I’m going to try this ‘Create a Playlist for Your Story’ thing, but I am going to need to think about it first. Also, I have one question, what does ‘Main Ship’ mean? Is this something to do with romance (I’m guessing that ship is short for relationship)? The first book in my series does not have any…[Read more]

@keilah-h

Thanks for sharing! Are any of these races explicitly good or bad? With this new list, I think I like Drachenheul best. (I am kink of biased towards wolves.)

Do you have some new story you are planning with all of this?

Humans—You know these.

You sure about that?

Also, out of curiosity, why do you always give them human heads?

Wait, you’re twenty? Or did I just completely misunderstand that.

I’m 21. The other guy is 20.

@savannah_grace2009

Thank you for the list. So your creatures are humans with different skin/hair colour and that colour relates to powers they have. So are Eloy and Cassian half-brothers then?

Pythonos demonstrate how we can’t break free from Satan’s power unless Jesus helps us to see the lies we believe and we resist the devil, like the ver…

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@savannah_grace2009 @ellette-giselle

Stepping in here about your conversation about the character’s ages. I do imagine Aaron as around 18 years of age. Similar to you, Ellette, in my church 18-year-olds do get married and do show maturity. There is one who Aaron kind of reminds me of who is a year younger than me, being 20 years old, but I feel…[Read more]

@keilah-h

So apparently Sara and I have inspired you to make some more fantasy creatures? I would be curious to know what they are.

@savannah_grace2009

Yeah, I’ve got to work on that :/

Well, that’s the whole point of making several drafts. Each one you can learn from and improve on the next. One of my drafts for TNPT was confusing like this as well. You will figure this out, don’t let the fact it is confusing right now discourage you. Your story is showing potential, e…[Read more]

You guys make playlists for your characters? Huh, maybe I should try that (though there is no way I can promise that most of them will not be JRPG VGM OSTs)

@ellette-giselle

Thank you for sharing, I will listen through this.

YUCK!!! You sir, do not pay attention to descriptions!!!! A full beard! UGH! No! He’s nineteen or twenty!

If you think that’s bad, wait until you hear how I butcher the pronunciation of names! (Although I think I can pronounce your characters’ names fine. If I butcher ‘Aaron’, you have reason to worry.)

Yeah, I think I may be minorly dyslexic. W…[Read more]

Chapter the 9th is in there as well, but is not finished. I will let everyone know when it is done.